君が君らしく生きるため

randomness dump

[80-ursa-major]

Once again: NEIGHBORS FROM HELL AND BEYOND BEGONE

As if this year wasn't already the worst for Christmas santa TOOK our peace and quiet too. For almost three weeks now the next wall family will creak non stop. Is it the bed is it the floor is it their rusted head, it doesn't matter the point is I live in a constant state of CREAKING! They have also relocated all their animated family talks to the bedroom. It's like suddenly they forgot they have a bunch of other rooms. I could literally and write down word by word their convos. Every day! This is how thin these dumb walls are because this is a 50 year old building made by a stingy geezer.

And yes I know you have to live with some noise but ALL THE NOISE? ALL THE TIME? The dingy ac below that sounds like a plane turbin all day and ALL NIGHT. The pot-purri of noises the old woman above can come up with anytime. Barking. Construction. Gardening...basicall every power tool has been tested here.

I can't relax and I've gone to the other side (insomnia) where i only sleep 3-4 hours and even when I clocked 7 i still couldnt stop yawning. I tried some earplugs ofc but my ears itch. The only ones i could keep in won't stop the creaking next to my head. Noise cancelling headphones are kind of a luxury rn plus am i supposed to live with them and sleep with them? It's simply ridiculous

What makes me absolutely livid is that they complained to us about noise years ago and we moved the tv to the other side of the house. I've never made any noise since and they've been relatively quiet too. And now they've suddenly decided to torture me. And the worst, the thing that makes you lose all hope is that when after many creaking days i yelled in frustration they told me to shut up. And and when they woke me up after midnight I slapped (i don't have a lot of upper arm strength) the wall once to remind them people usually have to sleep at night so they can work during the day they immediately started banging the wall. Four five times. Really hard! As if i was the one who woke them up. We're talking about psychopathic levels of assholery.

Bullies, cretins the lot of them and we're weak and powerless and alone and I'm just tired of everything. Why keep trying like an idiot anyway? We don't have any prospects anymore. The only future is a worse one. This year just took and took what few basic things were left.

[80-ursa-major]

Watched a couple movies and found letterboxd. some funny comments some unhinged and way too much repetition. I swear often it's just 100+ versions of "i want to fuck the actor/actress" in a row

I was told i don't look my age but im sure i do cause other than sunscreen I'm lazy with skincare plus no makeup. It was probably the pigtails+hat. It's funny cause I only use that combo to not look like i took a dive in a river on my way. my head just sweats so much in this weather it's impossible to go anywhere and my hair is so thin and oily. But hats somehow always look so good on me hah

Yeah I'm still a prisoner to the worst gacha because i don't want to start a new one and my favorite is here and finally finally he got that summer alt and once again i cant get it. Oh but I've gotten FIVE other cards and three of those are not even on rate up AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH DIE.

[myjetpack]

My latest cartoon for @GuardianBooks.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[theauthor27]

[lux-astralis]

[bardnuts]

the father the son and the holy spirit

[80-ursa-major]

Couldn't celebrate my birthday before so we did it today and omg finally a perfect day!

It was much needed pick-me-up cause the repairs and maintenance fight, the disconinued bus that goes to the super, the limited edition ice cream finally on sale sold out, the heat wave, the howling dog and the no help ig I was certain nothing good will ever happen in this place.

Can't sleep cause of the heat and overthinking. 16 hours awake and I say fuck it I am going out. Find ticket, take the train, the subway and then wait 20' for the bus. 37° no shade, no bench I almost keel over but I make it. I reach the mall and find perfect pants for dad. Then in a random store I find a Gilmore girls t-shirt(made in portugal too!) I literally just finished rewatching it all last week 👀. The accessories clearance sale yielded 4 necklaces for the price of 1.5 heh. And then oh I the find the most beautiful pants dirt cheap but they don't fit 😩 Ah well, next I find cute shorts and pyjamas with lemons looking exactly like a dress a guest wore to my favourite music show and Ive been coveting. Plus a lovely dress for mum. And then then and then I see the candy shop has reopened with new selection and the old prices wow. Finally it's time to eat and I hit a snag because I wanted two pastries( the glass case was full to the brim) so I go back to the table to get my card and by the time i get back (literally 2' cause I filled my water bottle) he's emptied the case and says they only sell them for breakfast 🤨. Two minutes! Are we in a cursed comedy skit?? I was moping during lunch but htankfully the cake came through! It looked so small but it was so fucking rich and you felt full pretty quick. I didn't expect the good praline for that price too so a big w. Now we get ready to leave to catch the bus back but someone wans ice cream so I rush to order from those electronic screens and as I wait I spot the pastry I wanted wooah!! And the bus driver was so cool and he was playing my favorite singer it was a-ma-zi-ng. Finally there's a used books seller in front of the station and they help me find mystery books. And then the ticket back home where the heat almost overwhelms me again. I know I need to sleep now cause it's been 24h so I'm letting te excitement out here hehe.

[80-ursa-major]

Oh look it's cold tv time again

There was a sense& sensibility rerun and since i live under a rock i had fun going all oh it's hugh (he always looked like his shirt was trying to strangle him-and it should have succeeded; hate these wishy washy dudes) and rose (rude airhead tbh but all right) And Snaaape! (stand-up dude but old farts should stay away from barely legal girls mmkay) And HOUSE! He even sounded like him although he was very sweet in the last scene before he has to leave. Hated willowhatshisface from the start.

Then we caught a rerun if i Frankenstein and it was so bad it was funny. The dialogue was terrible overall but the mc narration sounded like an emo teen diary lmao. The special effect they reused with the human head in fire disintegrating and suddenly ugly monster head! was cracking me up every time. The two sides had a finale looking battle 20 minutes in. The pretty scientist lady wore nice skirt+shoes in the lab and changed into pants/casual when she clocked out?? And she didn't even kiss the "monster" whaat? Eowyn is arhcangel michael appointed gargoyle queen!! Comedy gold I'm telling you. And also vindicating cause it proves that the minute we stopped putting those stone creatures on buildings we started letting the demons in ahaha

I read the ringer recaps and yeah i can see why it got cancelled but still the good smg deserved a happy ending boo you London fog. Also what do you mean one of the villains is a crazy bisexual ex wife?? And they got the Veronica mars dude to guest for a (FAKE) statutory rpe subplot?! This has to be on purpose.

[80-ursa-major]

editeditedit I got almost everyone thank you haaaah!!!!!!!!

so many guys and it's always the moronic siscon getting a new version and then his versions get OTHER versions omg pls

[80-ursa-major]

-im so tired of fighting with dust, how are you there again, i literally just dusted you

-these small screens really take a toll.

-i think it's time to drop gbf for real. t's too tiring and all these years in my luck is still abysmal

-i don't like td either but i stopped pvp, chats etc and just click click click and click click with some click on the side for 5' so it can stay.

Tv part uuh four?

-to think i watched v all those years ago and missed out on the forums/recaps. Glad to know everyone hated tyler. And joshua/lisa was an interesting idea. But they wasted almost every chara. We didn't even get juliet/jack. I hated that other guy. Such a weasel always acting like he's a bigshot. Pretty ballsy too to make the bad guys win and end it with no kind of continuation lmaaao. Plus the irony of anna being obsessed with killing the soul, the pesky human emotions and then the hybrid enslaves the world cause she loves her mommy. Her evil mommy who tried to kill her, then killed her real mommy, blackmailed her daddy, and made her sick and ooof. Truly moronic show but morena is so beautiful

Edit: there was that other show where aliens won, the whispers! Really creepy good with the children but of course it got cancelled so we never found out if mom agent saved them when they got beamed up :(((

-the coca cola show lmaaao what was that

-i read some Veronica mars and boy was i right when i dropped it after a couple episodes. Trash plot, trash characters and what's this obsession with rape? Why are men incapable of writing female characters without all kinds of abuse? And at first it seemed like a mini subversion so I was ok with all the contrivancies to make it work but then he retconned it and even made another season with rape as the plot point ugh. And of couree critics fucking loved it. And although few people actually watched it got 3 full seasons???? And a movie?????And another season years later?????? out of all the shows fans have tried to save it was this that won. You are all crazy i swear. And don't get me started on Logan ew. It's almost funny cause the reviewers were all yes he said something racist BUT, yes he said something sexist BUT, yes he did something douchey BUT omg girls there is no but. He's neither funny nor hot enough to make it worth it.

[80-ursa-major]

First it was the book bazaar, then the big games, now the tv shows next you'll take *spins wheel* music?? There's only so many coping mechanisms that work for me mkay?

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

[80-ursa-major]

BUT THAT WAS WHEN I RULED THE WORLD

In a way I've gone back to my roots when you had to watch the episode when it aired and the internet was slow but the fans were dedicated and just genuinely passionate.

Tv (read) ptIII

I can't believe it's been 15 years since kings. We had that on tv but only the first half cause it got canned so I never knew how it ended. I mean I did cause it's in the bible but once again that's some unhinged stuff so I guess it's good there was no season 2 lmao.

For what it's worth it was a nice show to look at, you know the costumes, scenery, cinematography the whole jazz but the charas...nyooo. David was so boring. And dumb (i get silas has rizz but stop fellating him even when he's trying to kill you). His girlfriend was even more boring. And even dumber. I swear their child will have negative IQ. Jack, ah our bratty backstabbing bullied gay prince. Imagine him and Katrina ruling. Mayhaps the country would have been run to the ground but it would have looked great. And Rose QBIC give me that outift. No really how great it would be to live wherever these film sets are and snag some of the stuff they sell when it's over

I know episodes are usually filmed some time before but from what I read the last episodes went so off the rails it felt they knew they were cancelled. Perhaps some of kind of scary looking moth landed on the producer's head one day and he saw the vision ahaha. Like it was a definitely a choice to have the king forgive his treasonous son by making him kiss the ground and tell him "your mouth's been worse places"...ok i lied he didn't forgive him but the rest is real O_O

Well if nothing else when people ask you for recommendations you can always tell them about that nbc show where KING IAN MCSHANE tells his son SEBASTIAN STAN "YOU'RE NO PRINCE YOU FAGGOT!" while their entire nation watches 😭😭😭

[80-ursa-major]

Old recaps were a gem. The long ass ones, the picspams, the snaark (twop the icon you were!), the flailing. The minute we stopped pouring out our feeling and gathering around them we lost sth crucial. Now TV's unoriginal drivel and reviews a two sentence engagement bait title leading to a few botted replies. And a thousand tiktoks proudly showing off their media illiteracy

Tv (read) ptII

I never watched the original melrose place so I had no bone to pick with 2009. I wonder why people didn't like violet but I only read so maybe it was bad in motion lmao. But no Ashley's so cute. At least she got to run away with Auggie (he was cute too) and save him from Riley. Worst fuxking character but jonah was shitty too so they deserved each other. David and Lauren were cute but her subplot aaaargh please. Ella carried the show yeah. Also seeing Katie reminded me of Harper's Island aaaa that show I think I still have the picspams on the old tumblr. ONE OF THESE DAYS LETTERS ARE GONNA FALL FROM THE SKY😢

Like i said before i dropped pll early on but caleb was so cute and spooky towns are my jam plus ravens (and crows) are the coolest so I followed him to that show but it was also very meh haha. The clips I saw had nice atmosphere but the plot? Five kids for a soldier? And no one cared it could be their kid/grandkid/friend down the line? And FIVE? If they decimate the young population who's going to make more kids to sacrifice? The math is not mathing! Same with the end because if mira ghost gets old caleb ghost but caleb is alive then an old mira ghost is alone lol. I get they planned with success in mind but caleb/hanna had chemistry, they were cute and miranda was a sad lonely puppy and I felt so sorry but it was never gonna happen. Even when he said he'd stay it was so flat. Anyway this show is worthy it for the recaps. Teary Luke and sorta hot vampire uncle you brought a lot of laugh to that boring week of mine. Love ya, A.

I glanced at wonderfalls recaps and flashed back to years ago when I tried twice but even I gave up on it. It was weird but not quirky weird or funny weird or anything, it was just weird. Basically God acts in UNHINGED ways! Also I read they were going to make the (closet??) lesbian pregnant from her bisexual lover's cheating and that should tell you all you need to know *barf*

[80-ursa-major]

I dump updates together but obviously time passes between events (sometimes in reverse hehe)

When i was younger I'd go and rent a movie almost every day until videoclubs got phased out because streaming services. I moved on too but found I couldn't concentrate the same. It's like watching registers as a bg activity now so I must read/watch something else at the same time. And I only binge shows, I havent watched a movie in years hm.

Ok let's move to my new compromise: Tvvvv (read)

When I read mscl someone had provided the ages at the end and I realized Angela's actress was a literal child, they had no business making her kiss that whole ass man. Nice guy tm Brain was a creeper. Rayanne: cool singlemom, alcohol, drugs-OD, casual sex and all because daddy doesn't love her. Amazing she didn't collapse from the single amount of stereotypes piled on her. Graham was such an inecure manbaby and of course they planned on making Patty depressed after the divorce. We all dodged a bullet with that cancellation ha!

Undeclared was so full horrible storylines and criiiiinge but what I found interesting is how different in a good way some of the drafts were. Every change they made was for worse. #justicefortoofozil :))

The secret circle was sooo dumb. The parents casually murdering other parents or bringing people to life, the bad guy pushing the teen pregnancies over the roof, a magic show where they barely do magic, no rules, no sense, that dude dying immediately and being replaced by his brother?? the mc not getting with said brother?! Ok yeah he might have killed a witch or two (or more???) but girl has been setting people on fire, letting out demons who killed people, showing zero emotion when people die in front of her and moving on easily even its her own granny. (Ok maybe she's just a bad actress but they can bond over that too lmao) I'm telling you it was perfect but nooo my son must fuck my crush's daughter becauee the stars will it, said the drunk obsessed dad *vomit*

...I mean it could have worked if adam wasn't a whiny controlling useless rude bore! (truly his father's son) cause the actor was cute but I don't think he even liked those girls. The casting director must have been blinded by his eyelashes or something. I'm glad Diana left this shitshow and the shitshow is over so they can't drag her back haha

[80-ursa-major]

I can't believe they took the butter out of my margarine but still charge the same!! What will I put on my pasta now?? Good thing I mostly cook with olive oil. Well technically it's a bad thing because its price has tripled and I wish I were exaggerating :'((

No more binging shows I guess. I doubt anyone cares about the old unpopular shows I gravitate to but I'm a poor chicken so :(((( I mean I get it, lots of people watch sports and current shit but we also pay triple the other countries do for internet and it's still the slowest. They started putting fiber but it's gonna be a while and let's not get into what the actually average salary is if you don't have a politician family/friend to find you a nice desk to sit on and stamp a paper whenever you feel like it grrrrrr

Honestly it's the unfairness of it cause this is a small country ruled by corrupt incompetent politicians. Embezzlement scandals out of the ass. One of them was literally a telemarketer and another was a neo-nazi like come on now. Children have died cause the money goes to finding their lavish lifestyle while crucial infrastructure is left rotting. Can't put out fires cause all the budget went to hiring policemen instead. And better pray to virgin mary you never get sick. But sure making extra change from people trying to drown their sorrows in fiction (that isn't even available on our cable) will totally fix everything. Perhaps this government should consider getting on a booing booing and never coming back hm hm Well thank all gods if they exist for writing&reading. Not just books but anything, magazines, blogposts, my writing, I wouldn't be here without reading. It has saved and continues saving my life because I'm not really made to exist in real life no matter how much and how many times I tried.

[escuerzoresucitado]

[itsclydebitches]

Something I don't think we talk enough about in discussions surrounding AI is the loss of perseverance.

I have a friend who works in education and he told me about how he was working with a small group of HS students to develop a new school sports chant. This was a very daunting task for the group, in large part because many had learning disabilities related to reading and writing, so coming up with a catchy, hard-hitting, probably rhyming, poetry-esque piece of collaborative writing felt like something outside of their skill range. But it wasn't! I knew that, he knew that, and he worked damn hard to convince the kids of that too. Even if the end result was terrible (by someone else's standards), we knew they had it in them to complete the piece and feel super proud of their creation.

Fast-forward a few days and he reports back that yes they have a chant now... but it's 99% AI. It was made by Chat-GPT. Once the kids realized they could just ask the bot to do the hard thing for them - and do it "better" than they (supposedly) ever could - that's the only route they were willing to take. It was either use Chat-GPT or don't do it at all. And I was just so devastated to hear this because Jesus Christ, struggling is important. Of course most 14-18 year olds aren't going to see the merit of that, let alone understand why that process (attempting something new and challenging) is more valuable than the end result (a "good" chant), but as adults we all have a responsibility to coach them through that messy process. Except that's become damn near impossible with an Instantly Do The Thing app in everyone's pocket. Yes, AI is fucking awful because of plagiarism and misinformation and the environmental impact, but it's also keeping people - particularly young people - from developing perseverance. It's not just important that you learn to write your own stuff because of intellectual agency, but because writing is hard and it's crucial that you learn how to persevere through doing hard things.

Write a shitty poem. Write an essay where half the textual 'evidence' doesn't track. Write an awkward as fuck email with an equally embarrassing typo. Every time you do you're not just developing that particular skill, you're also learning that you did something badly and the world didn't end. You can get through things! You can get through challenging things! Not everything in life has to be perfect but you know what? You'll only improve at the challenging stuff if you do a whole lot of it badly first. The ability to say, "I didn't think I could do that but I did it anyway. It's not great, but I did it," is SO IMPORTANT for developing confidence across the board, not just in these specific tasks.

Idk I'm just really worried about kids having to grow up in a world where (for a variety of reasons beyond just AI) they're not given the chance to struggle through new and challenging things like we used to.

[thelocalmuffin]

Hey everyone, I know it's going to be a busy day for a lot of people, but Google enrolled everyone over 18 into their AI program automatically.

If you have a google account, first go to gemini.google.com/extensions and turn everything off.

Then you need to go to myactivity.google.com/product/gemini and turn off all Gemini activity tracking. You do have to do them in that order to make sure it works.

Honestly, I'm not sure how long this will last, but this should keep Gemini off your projects for a bit.

I saw this over on bluesky and figured it would be good to spread on here. It only takes a few minutes to do.

[yeahwrite]

Writers: It's asking to read your Google Docs and be able to 'summarize' things from them and such things. I just turned all mine off.

[leebrontide]

It’s also asking to transcribe my therapy appointments for me Jesus Christ

[msilverstar]

Google making this opt-out is ugly. We should all follow the steps here.

[80-ursa-major]

Video nastiiiiies

billy was a selfish violent prick. I knew they were gonna saddle zoe with him ugh she deserved better but also almost everyone in this dumb show was terrible

This dude watched mountains of horror movies but still threw the blunt weapon away and got close to the lady who has her hand behind her back and already kidnapped amd tried to murder them once. Zoe was right, he only wathced the nasties for the nasty aka the violence against women. Fucking creep I'm still mad they got together and that whiny loser of a bro is stuck doing the I'm jealous cause I'm secretly in the closet or maybe not haha what. And topher what the hell how????

Ah well binge watching this reminded me a little of when we were teens and rented bad horror movies and it was fun fun.