Unproductive Yet Again

HELLOS to all that adventure~ Flash. Dogs. Hawkeye. Doctor Who. Sherlock. Wally West. Dogs. Skam. Marvel. DC. Kid Flash. WonderWoman. Crafts. Skam Remakes. Captain Cold. Dogs. Clint Barton. Science. Dogs.

[callixton]

never before has a character so obviously had daddy issues than fuck tony

[alwayzraven]

Space Force - S1:E09 “It’s Good to Be Back on the Moon”

[saintorhypocrite]

havent posted here in a while so hey !

[bobbimorses]

what are the different versions of clint’s backstory/childhood?

the first version of his backstory is in avengers v1 #19, which establishes his tutelage under the swordsman (jacques duquesne). he also said he never knew his parents, which turns out not to be the case, but writers were working out basic details and clint’s only existed for like 5 issues so we’ll forgive it.

in this version, the swordsman began teaching archery to what appears to be a teenaged clint, who apparently “hung around circuses” before being taken under his wing. clint caught the swordsman stealing from the paymaster, and swordsman revealed he was only training clint to help in robberies.

clint refused to take a cut, so he ran to the high-wire, which swordsman cut, leaving clint for dead. in actuality he just broke both his legs. this is henceforth a consistent aspect of clint’s backstory.

in avengers #64-65, we learn that clint is not in fact an only child (and that he actually has a name), because he has an older brother: barney barton. barney’s the one who found clint after swordsman tried to kill him, and he got mad clint didn’t take the deal and left him to go run with the mob. clint was ashamed, and thus didn’t use his name with the avengers.

avengers #223 introduces one of the traveling carnivals clint performed in, “carson’s.” presumably, he was still a young teen, and he knew the owner’s daughter marcy carson (who is never mentioned in comics again)

hawkeye v1 #1 establishes that clint and barney were in an orphanage for a while, but ran away when clint was around 13. clint says he was good enough to join the swordsman in the show after a year, so presumably swordsman tried to kill clint when he was around 14?

now solo avengers v1 #2 is where clint’s backstory is fully fleshed out: clint's father owned a small butcher’s shop in waverly, iowa, which the kids also worked in. his father was an alcoholic and physically abusive, and his mother would sometimes try to intervene unsuccessfully. clint tried to be a “better son” so his father would stop, which obviously didn’t work.

one day, clint’s parents went for a drive and his father drunkenly crashed the car, killing them both. clint and barney had no other family and were sent to the local orphanage, but were never adopted because they weren’t little. barney occasionally took his frustrations out on clint, so clint did all his chores to try to win him over. eventually, they ran away and ended up at a traveling carnival a few days later. they worked as roustabouts, doing menial jobs like moving stuff and shoveling elephant poop, until swordsman asked for a volunteer to throw knives at and clint was like “lol cool.” the swordsman story is mostly the same, except it’s revealed he actually taught clint swordsmanship and throwing knives instead of archery (because, duh, he’s the swordsman). clint was taught archery by another performer, “trick shot,” after he got out of the hospital.

surprise surprise, trick shot was also a crook who was training clint as a tool for robberies/killing. he takes clint to a robbery/hit, unbeknownst to clint, and clint looses an arrow on someone shooting at him, who turns out to be barney. he tries to take barney to a hospital, but trick shot basically impales him to a tree and vows to kill him when he becomes an even better archer as an adult

that’s basically been clint’s childhood backstory ever since, so now instead of going chronologically with other depictions, let’s hash out the evolving details by specifics...

clint’s age when orphaned:

i don’t recall it ever being explicitly stated, but based on all visual depictions of him with his parents living, varying ages given for his time in the circus, and the minimum time spent in the orphanage, i would guess it’s around 8 (ymmv)

the orphanage:

basically all depictions of clint’s childhood after hawkeye v1 place him in an orphanage for an indeterminate amount of time (varying between 1-5 years).

the exception to this is all-new hawkeye, which retconned clint as spending time in various foster homes (also physically abusive. he doesn’t catch a break), which i assume was an attempt at modernization. personally, i prefer how clint’s early childhood has been consistently depicted with a static 1950s aesthetic, and running away to a circus was already outdated when he showed up in the 1960s, so why not? also, all-new hawkeye retconned kate as looking up to clint since childhood, which i also hate, so i don’t feel bad ignoring its retcons lmao

anyways. solo avengers depicted the orphanage as co-ed, but avengers forever reidentified it as a rough, catholic orphanage for boys (and also introduced clint’s love of reading its collection of western pulp novels):

and subsequent appearances/mentions kept the name and nuns:

(this panel is also from after anh so actually everyone is already ignoring the foster home retcon. a win for me)

age when running away to the circus:

clint stated twice in 80s solos that he was 13, but bobbi guessed it was around 8 a few years later in west coast avengers, but then blindspot visually showed him running away to carson’s at 13, but in hawkeye v4 he said he was 9, which all-new hawkeye also-

basically, you wouldn’t be wrong guessing any age between 9-13, though i think i prefer the versions where he’s on the lower range (with at least 1 year of the orphanage under his belt), so he actually has more circus tenure, considering clint’s also said he learned trapeze from a family there, knows vagabond code, how to juggle, and is well-versed in cheats tricks. so i guess ~9-11 is the latest best estimate?

age when swordsman and trick shot almost killed him:

visually, he’s consistently been depicted as a teen. what kinda teen? who knows! as said, around 14 when swordsman tried to kill him seems about right. training with trick shot took place at least over several months while his legs healed, so 15-16 would be a good estimate on that end. but like, if a future flashback ever showed him as being slightly younger or older, i wouldn’t be surprised either? he joins the avengers aged ~19-20 so do with that what you will

barney joined the mob...or did he?

hawkeye v3 (2004) tried to shake things up by painting clint as more criminally-inclined or morally apathetic and barney as the brother trying to get on a better path. it retconned barney as not abandoning clint but leaving to join the army, and then becoming an fbi agent and only going undercover in the mob, outlined in a letter sent to clint after barney’s death. then hawkeye: blindspot said “actually that was a lie from egghead who just wanted to steal barney’s corpse unnoticed,” and barney had lots of money from extortion. clint took and used that money in subsequent series, so barney being an actual member of the mob is the accepted version.

post-betrayal circus time:

i think it’s been pretty consistent that clint bounced around a few traveling carnivals as a headlining performer. one of these circuses was tiboldt’s, aka the circus of crime. in hawkeye v3, he had a girlfriend when he was around 18 who also did robberies under his nose, which isn’t shocking considering it was. the circus of crime. and also clint’s betrayal track record

schooling:

no one asked for this but i feel obligated to mention that although clint is a high-school dropout, he did attend some school while in the circus. maybe he went during off-seasons

deafness?

a recent development to clint’s childhood backstory, hawkeye v4 #19 retconned it so that clint was temporarily deafened as a child as a result of physical trauma from his father’s abuse

which is used to explain why barney and clint know ASL as adults in the issue, since clint hadn’t ever been shown using it before: they learned it as kids

[winterhawkkisses]

989.

King Steven had made many changes since his return from the war, and amongst the first of those were the changes that prevented the criminalisation of any kind of love. That was how he’d put it, at least; Bucky insisted on saying that Steve wanted everyone to fuck how they and their partners pleased, and made sure to thank him most effusively in exactly those terms. Especially when the court was gathered and in their finest clothes. 

He knew that there had been complaints about him. Steve liked to gather them and read him the choicest passages, threatened to write them into a letter of recommendation for him if he ever dared to leave. Bucky had long since resigned himself to spending his life protecting the idiot, so the threat held very little weight. 

What it all meant was that the masks that were worn in the houses of assignation were now a sop to anonymity for the illicit thrill of it, rather than against the threat of arrest. Many men had now dispensed with them all together, and Bucky couldn’t help feeling some curling warmth at the happiness on some of their faces now that they met there out of habit rather than necessity, now that they could openly touch and be touched. 

Bucky kept the mask. He had no desire to make anything more complex than the scratching of a persistent itch, and it was rare indeed that he did so more than once with the same man. 

Rare - but not impossible. 

The first time he had been half-cut, unsteady on his feet, and his main memory of the night had been amused blue eyes, laughter interrupting kisses, and the way the man had halted wandering hands and stroked Bucky’s hair until he fell asleep. It was a half-remembered confusion of gentle images that Bucky hadn’t known how to react to; mostly he had dealt with the unaccustomed sweetness by dropping to his knees the next time he saw that mischievous smile, sucking him off in a room full of men like he was getting paid for it. It was safer doing that than the way he had felt to wake up tangled in the ribbons of his mask, unsatisfied but somehow content in spite of his pounding head. 

They had fucked a number of ways since then, long and slow and torturous, and fast and hard and painfully good. And every time Bucky maintained the fiction that they were strangers - because they were, in actuality, no matter that Bucky was starting to know exactly how to touch him. No matter that Bucky no longer kissed anyone else. 

Bucky was grateful that the man was not a member of the court, at least. He had started avoiding going out into the town when he could, for fear that he would start looking for the particular curve of a smile. 

What this all meant was that when the carriage came to an abrupt stop in the forest, when there were threats of violence against the driver and footmen that rendered Bucky helpless, when the treasury box was stolen right from under Bucky’s nose… 

He knew exactly how the highwayman’s mouth would taste. 

[8ami]

I love this. Idk why, but I do.

[winterhawkkisses]

992.

The dog is still doped up from whatever the vet had had to do to him, grinning up at them and lazily thumping his tail. Clint hasn’t quit looking stressed, though, bordering on scared out of his mind, and Bucky hopes the universe appreciates the effort he’s expending, not going over there to grab one of his grime-caked hands. 

He clears his throat instead. Tries not to scowl too hard when Clint, startled, looks over to meet his eyes. 

“Hey,” Bucky says, “you did good.” 

The vet comes in then, saves the both of them from whatever was gonna fall out of Clint’s idiot mouth. 

“He’s going to be fine,” she says. “He’ll make a full recovery in time, given time and care.” She looks between them, her mouth curled into a rueful grin. “Who do I give the instructions to?” 

The slight apology in the hunch of her shoulders reminds them that it’s the bill, too - that whoever takes on responsibility for the dog takes that on too. Clint looks bowled over backwards. 

“I can’t -” he says. “My dad’ll kill me if I come home with a goddamn dog.” 

Bucky can read too much fear in his eyes to think that’s anywhere close to metaphorical. Clint chews on his lip. 

“What happens if he’s not our dog?” he asks. “What do you do with him then?” 

“We’ll keep him until he’s healed up,” she says. “And then he’ll go to a shelter where hopefully he’ll be adopted.”

“And if he’s not?” Clint asks, but her apologetic smile says it all. 

“Fuck,” Clint says. “Fuck.” 

“I can take him,” Bucky says impulsively, idiotically. “I can - you could visit him.” 

And fuck if he wouldn’t do a lot worse than that to see Clint smile.

It’ll be fine. Steve won’t mind so much, and their room is on the ground floor; smuggling him in and out shouldn’t be too much of a trial. 

He squares his shoulders and takes the paperwork, and the string of numbers at the bottom makes him flinch. 

“I can’t - Clint, there’s no way I can pay this,” he says. 

Clint steels his jaw. 

“I can,” he says. “I’ll sell my bow.”  

[winterhawkkisses]

995.

Bucky doesn’t bother getting dressed, just goes to open the front door in his boxers, enjoying the flare of heat in darkened blue eyes. He leans against the door frame, hand resting on the opposite shoulder, and although there’s a moment’s hesitation before the guy stoops to kiss him it doesn’t stop it from feeling insanely good. His mouth is hot and lush and insistent, and Bucky relishes the slight ache in his neck. He’d never thought he’d have a thing for taller guys, but it seems like he’s ruined now. 

It had been such a bad idea - three beers down, lonely, Grindr open on his phone - but it’s a little hard to remember why as he’s crowded against the door frame with rough fingers tangled into his hair. Bucky swears at the gentle tug, tipping his head back further into it, and then there’s heat against his neck, soft lips and the shiver of stubble. 

“No marks,” he says, and there’s a moment of tense stillness. 

“You got somebody?” 

It’s none of his business, and Bucky doesn’t owe him anything, but he shivers at the hot breath of relief when Bucky tells him no. 

“Just a best friend I don’t wanna have to defend myself to,” he says, and there’s a bitter but understanding laugh. 

Bucky likes that there’s no pretence about this. Simple, straightforward, a direct route to the bedroom, no small talk over beer. He presses up as soon as the guy’s weight is on him, and there’s a thrill to the way that he doesn’t give way. Doesn’t hold him down, though, and that’s important too; Bucky wouldn’t say he always needs to be in charge, but he’s no so great at taking orders, either. 

It’s quicker than he’d like. Kicking off clothes to get lost in the darkness, hot breath and sure hands, more kisses than he would’ve expected. He finds himself making soft sounds but he bites his tongue to stop it shaping any names, and kissing has that advantage too. The man on top of him swears against Bucky’s temple when he comes, short sharp fricatives bitten out against his skin, a rush of hot breath and hot come against his belly, and a tongue trails through it before there’s the enveloping heat of a mouth around him. 

“Condom,” Bucky pants out. 

“Why, you been with anyone lately?”

It’s a fair point. He arches his back and runs his fingers through short tousled hair and bites and bites and bites his tongue. 

Bucky knows better than to expect any kind of afterglow, but the light going on immediately so they can find their clothes feels harsh against places he should’ve known would feel raw. 

“I miss you.” The words slip out against his will, low and almost angry, and Clint looks at him with no expression on his face and something hard behind his eyes. 

“Yeah, well I wasn’t the one who said we were done, Buck,” he says, and almost walks into the doorframe ‘cos he’s in such a rush to leave he’s still pulling his shirt on on his way out of the door. 

[winterhawkkisses]

999.

Another explosion rocked the building, and the concrete around Bucky groaned. The pressure on his leg was excruciating, and until they could get Thor down to where he was, or the Hulk, he was gonna be useless. 

There was the scrape of a rubber-soled boot against a hard surface, and a shower of dust and fragments of concrete hit Bucky directly in the face. 

“Steve?” he said hopefully, but it was somehow both better and worse. 

Clint looked a wreck. His hair was plastered to his forehead with a mixture of blood and sweat, and there was a rip in the shoulder of his uniform that had a nasty graze underneath. Even as he scrambled down to where Bucky was lying it was clear from the awkwardness of his movement that he was in a lot of pain, and Bucky snarled and shoved up uselessly against the weight that covered him if only so he could smack the idiot around the back of the head. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” he snarled, and Clint’s lip cracked when he grinned. 

“Saving your life,” he said, and Bucky swore viciously. 

“You can’t shift this, idiot,” he snapped. “And none of your arrows are gonna be any use. Any explosives that will get rid of this concrete will take me right out with it.” 

“Yeah,” Clint said, “and so will the bomb they’re setting up in the next building, so I’m gonna go stop that.” 

“What?” 

“The others have got a lot to deal with right now but Thor’s got you on his to-do list,” Clint said, only the speed of his voice letting on about how he felt. “You’re probably gonna be pinned down here a little longer, but the fighting’s moved away some so provided I can -” 

“How many of them are there, Clint?” Bucky asked, and he was shoving at the concrete as he spoke, his voice breaking under the strain and the knowledge that it wasn’t gonna do any good. 

“Probably too many?” Clint said, and his smile wasn’t reaching his eyes. “But it’s okay, I have a plan, I’m pretty sure I can stop it before they take me out, and -”

“Clint -” 

“And there’s no way I’m letting you die.” Clint reached down with shaking fingers and brushed concrete dust away from the corner of Bucky’s mouth, and if an expression is worth a thousand words then Clint’s face was a novel that Bucky never wanted to read. 

“No,” Bucky said fiercely, but Clint just patted his cheek and shoved up to his feet, scaling the jagged remnants of the floor that Bucky had been blasted through. “Clint.” 

Clint glanced back over his shoulder, and Bucky struggled, and hated him, and would never get to him in time. 

“Hey, you know that thing we’ve never said?” Clint asked, his voice unsteady. “Well I’m sayin’ it. Good luck, asshole.” 

And he was gone.

[houseofjonn]

[impatient14]

Golden Girls was more progressive decades ago than half of America now.

[8ami]

Watch this story by by Humankind on Instagram before it disappears.

88.4k Followers, 517 Following, 147 Posts

These field notes, especially the one about the moral that is made out of pollution eating paint.

[8ami]

How the fuck do people say the American government isn't the bad guy? This is fucking eugenics and there is nothing good about this. You can't spin this into a positive light. This is wrong. End stop. This has to stop.

[mimibtsghost]

H-HOLD ON!! YOONGI IS NOT EVEN INTO FISHING BUT HE DOES IT JUST TO KEEP JIN COMPANY. WHY IS THIS MAN SO PERFECT?!! 

[writing-prompt-s]

You are an anonymous professional assassin with a perfect reputation. You lead an ordinary life outside of your work. You’ve just been hired to kill yourself.

[caffeinewitchcraft]

My first thought is that the middle man I use–calls himself ‘Leader’, real name Brett Thompson, 46, balding, lives in PA–has uncovered my identity. Why else would I be staring down at a picture of my own face? I think it’s a warning, that he knows about the Sanchez job, and I nearly reach for my go bag.

Then I see the client’s name.

Vi Larson, the file tells me, male, 32, computer analyst.

I close the manila folder, tossing it away from me. The whiskey sour’s gone warm in my hand, but I drink it down anyway, eyes distant. I don’t need to read any more of the file. I can fill in the gaps well enough.

Funnily enough, this betrayal is just as sharp and unpleasant as the first one, the one that got me into this business in the first place.

“You at least owe me a crime of passion, you bastard,” I mutter into my drink. I close my eyes and sigh, willing away the stinging in my heart. I knew that my relationship was in trouble, but this is just cold. 

 In a way, I can’t believe it. Is a divorce really that hard?  But, no, I know Vi. He’s methodical, analytical, and competent. If anything, hiring an assassin with a reputation like mine is right in line with his personality. Nothing but the best, even in the murder game.

I should be flattered, really. My rates aren’t cheap. Whatever I did to make him send this in–and he did, there’s his social security, his fingerprint, everything–it must have been killer.

I set my glass down on the counter and tuck the folder under my arm. I need to think and I do my best thinking in the tub. Vi won’t be back from his “business” trip for another three days, during which I’m supposed to kill myself.

As I head up the stairs, I can’t help but laugh. Finally, after three years of marriage, my husband does something interesting. And it breaks my fucking heart.

——————————————

He wants me to make it painless but horrific. There’s a script in the document, something that’s more common than people think, and it’s hard to read it, even surrounded by bubbles and soothing music.

“Your husband sent me. Said he needed to shed some dead weight.” I snort at the pun and close my eyes, resting the file against my face so it doesn’t get wet. Unfortunately, the tears do that anyway.

“Fuck,” I say. “You bastard.”

Keep reading

[itscolossal]

WATCH: Ingenious Hack for Sketching with Two Point Perspective Using an Elastic String [video]

[lunariagold-deactivated20230802]

Oh look… MORE AWESOME SHIT NOBODY TOLD ME IN ART SCHOOL

[teaboot]

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

[itscolossal]

WATCH: Ingenious Hack for Sketching with Two Point Perspective Using an Elastic String [video]

[lunariagold-deactivated20230802]

Oh look… MORE AWESOME SHIT NOBODY TOLD ME IN ART SCHOOL

[teaboot]

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

[ferrousferrule]

I collected a bunch of "haha I don't have 2020 vision" "oh God not like that" posts

[atmosfer-deactivated20241016]

[bouncyirwin]

I wouldn’t mind a sequel to this post 🤣

[oldtvandcomics]

I have kept coming back to this post to see the reblogs, so I can give you the ones other people collected all in one place:

This one I actually found myself!

And I don’t think that this counts, but it still has the beautiful “Ah, fuck” vibes the rest of the post does:

And let’s not forget the cursed “Supernatural GIF Perfectly Describes 2020″ one:

@ferrousferrule:  You said you were looking for more and going through the reblogs, right? In which case this isn’t going to be of much use to you, but still. Just in case it is. :)

[filmnoirsbian]

Its time.

[filmnoirsbian]

Off to a good start

[filmnoirsbian]

Hello i have a new favorite movie

[filmnoirsbian]

The heavy metal guitar solo intro music just petered off into the jurassic park theme sjsnsjejwkms

[filmnoirsbian]

Oh this man is a himbo. Excellent.

[filmnoirsbian]

Wait is this man a priest or a pastor 🤔 if he's a priest then the title is false advertising

[filmnoirsbian]

I'm speechless

[filmnoirsbian]

[gun fire]

[raptor screeches]

[filmnoirsbian]

She's talking abt how he turned into a dinosaur and ate the guy who was trying to rob her

[filmnoirsbian]

"I don't believe you! Dinosaurs never existed, and even if they did, I didn't turn into one!"

[filmnoirsbian]

Solidarity

[filmnoirsbian]

Me: bro they better keep this shit platonic

[Carol and Priest looking at each other, smiling lightly after sharing an embrace, tension building]

Me: 😒

[Carol and Priest share a massive high five]

Me: oh??? 😏😌

[filmnoirsbian]

He's literally reading a book called Crime

[filmnoirsbian]

Velocifather: father stewart, what if i told you i was...different

Father Stewart: you're not THAT different. they're are plenty of people like that in the church

[filmnoirsbian]

Bro i can't even describe this vietnam war flashback.....there's 5 guys in jeans and thrifted military jackets in what is clearly someone's backyard......a bloody helmet on a garden fence is meant to symbolize how many brothers in arms they've lost.....they just stuck a blond wig on the old priest to show how young he was back then.......his gf just showed up and stepped on a land mine and died....which is why he joined the priesthood...the editing feels like a fever dream

[avogadro-toast]

How can you talk about this movie without showing the fucking dinosaur