ksenia

22, she/her

[911n234]

arthur morgan’s death fucked me up fr

i have two jokes and I can’t decide which one i like best so now you’ll read two:

- rockstar games said “grieve, bitch” and I said “ok bet”

- lost: one cowboy. gained: one tattoo

[911n234]

Calling Peeta “useless”? Let’s take a moment.

Ask yourselves why some of you label him that.

1. He’s kind (…and why the fuck is that even on the list?)

2. He doesn’t embody traditional “masculine” traits — like aggression, dominance, visible rage. Meanwhile, Katniss does.

And yet, what so many of you fail to realize is this: Peeta does have anger. He’s always had it.

It’s the same tired narrative over and over:

“Oh, he was just a sweet little cupcake — then he got hijacked — now he’s angry and scary! Poor Katniss never got her real Peeta back!”

Jesus Christ. Haven’t we had enough of that?

He grew up in an abusive household. His mother verbally and physically mistreated him. What do you think that does to a person? You think he came out of that all soft and cuddly with no rage simmering under the surface? Please.

He’s sassy as hell throughout the books — and that’s what we acknowledge.

But anger? Oh no. That’s out of his reach.

Let’s go back to canon:

— Remember in District 11, when he exploded after learning Snow had gone to Katniss’s house? He was furious.

— Now as for the hijacking. It didn’t create anger in him. It amplified the fear and confusion that were already inside. It twisted what was already there.

— Peeta wasn’t rewritten — he was traumatized. And his trauma came out as rage.

Hmmm, but why we don’t really see it before the hijacking?

HE ✍️ DOESN’T ✍️ TAKE ✍️ IT ✍️ OUT ✍️ ON✍️ KATNISS

She’s the narrator — we only know what she sees (and what she allows us to see). Peeta doesn’t lash out at her, doesn’t weaponize his pain against her, doesn’t make her pay for what he’s been through.

That’s not weakness. That’s control. That’s love.

Write that down.

[tryingssss]

and when i say that detail about haymitch losing his unborn twin sisters foreshadows him being a mentor and losing two kids each year in the hunger games

[911n234]

and then saving two at once

[whenthewallfell]

I'll add it to the list of words I use to try to figure you out

[911n234]

this wrecks me in the best way possible

[911n234]

i was already having a shit day and something made me to open the comments under this video

guys i can’t— you realise you’re making yourself hurt because you refuse to see past ‘peeta-choked-katniss-and-called-her-a-mutt-holy-shit-hijacking-made-him-hate-her’

NO it didn’t!

like if i were you — which meant believing Katniss lost Peeta in some way — i’d never fucking recover. but that’s the thing: after loosing so much, after her heart breaking so many times, she never lost Peeta. she got him back — and he got her.

THAT’S the whole point: LOVE WILL WIN

[911n234]

sotr spoilers and me crashing out

No, because I’m livid with some of you. What do you mean it’s “creepy” that Haymitch can’t let go of Lenore Dove? Do you realize that what he felt for her wasn’t just a crush? Their relationship wasn’t a summer fling — it was the love of Haymitch’s life, for fuck’s sake. He worshiped that girl. He was blinded by how much he adored her. She was the center of his entire universe.

And then she FUCKING DIES — because of his actions (well, and because Snow is a petty little bitch.)

Now, let’s get serious for a second.

Snow? Snow is a bitter piece of shit who can’t let go of Covey girl he was seeing for 2 (?) months — and that’s fucking weird. In my opinion, he didn’t even truly love Lucy Gray. He was obsessed with the idea of them being together. He wanted to own her. And once he crossed the Capitol-appropriate-line, he needed some kind of excuse, justification — like, why did he feed her? Why did he meet her, help her, risk shit for her?

Because throughout the book, he’s desperate to believe he’s a good person. He needs other people to see him a certain way. And yeah, sure, “she’s not really District” works as a surface-level justification — but it’s so much easier, and cleaner, to convince everyone (and himself) that he did it all out of love.

Oh, how noble of him. To care for his “beloved.” To choose to go to her District. To follow her.

HELLO? He’s a manipulative little bitch who did it because it served him — not because he was head over heels. Lucy Gray was his little pet. A pet he liked to keep around. A pet who made him feel good about himself. If he could frame it all as love, then suddenly, everything he did had a pure reason. He could jerk off to the thought of how noble he was.

But deep down? He fucking hates her.

☑️ He hates her lifestyle.

☑️ He hates that she has something he never will.

☑️ He hates that she’s a real person with her own thoughts, her own dreams, her own direction.

Again, she’s a pet to him. “oh damn you’re so cute, omg — but don’t you dare leave me.”

Now contrast that with Haymitch.

Haymitch adores Lenore Dove.

Yeah, of course it stings when she doesn’t include him in every plan. Yeah, maybe he wants to know what’s going on inside her head. OF COURSE it fucking stings. Have you ever been in love? Then I don’t need to explain why.

But at the end of the day — he wants what’s best for her. If she wanted to go, he would let her. Period. Meanwhile, Snow’s idea of loving someone is pulling a pew-pew on them the second they show independence. Charming.

Haymitch sees Lenore Dove as a whole person. He loves her as a whole person. He’s the true lover boy — and he fucking LOSES her. Because of himself.

IMAGINE being him. Would you be able to let go? After losing the love of your life, and being left with no one? FUCKING NO ONE.

☑️ No friends.

☑️ No family.

☑️ No lover to help you heal.

You are slowly loosing your mind, drinking yourself into the oblivion and the ghosts of everyone you’ve ever loved haunt you every day. The only people around you are kids who are going to DIE — and you have to coach them knowing that. You have to embrace the probability of their immanent death . There’s no light left, nothing going for you, except the one thing keeping you breathing: the promise you made to the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE seconds before they died. Not so easy to let go now, huh?

At this point, I think some of you seriously lack compassion and empathy.

Like, okay — I get it. Not everyone has to like the book. That’s your prerogative. But calling Haymitch a creep? Wanting him to cheat on Lenore Dove with Maysilee and saying, “Well, it would fit the OG trilogy better” — no the fuck it wouldn’t. Haymitch bonding with Maysilee actually proves what Everlark stans have been trying to tell you this whole time: there was never any competition when it came to Peeta. I’ll tell you more, the was no real love triangle!

Have you noticed how Haymitch doesn’t even entertain the idea of Maysilee being anything more than an ally, a comrade — a sister BECAUSE HE ALREADY HAS A LOVER BACK HOME. Yeah. Just the opposite of Katniss. Suzanne did brilliant work with that — proving that K&P were the endgame.

i’m sorry for the amount of cursing here, but i feel like a rabid dog when i see this bs. stop pissing me off for real

[911n234]

sotr spoilers!

no, but seriously — the apogee of the Haymitch and Katniss parallel hits so hard because she did what he couldn’t. He saw the generator, right there in front of him, but it was out of his reach. He was staring straight at his chance to bring freedom to the country, but it was impossible. He couldn’t break the force field — the window to freedom.

But Katniss did.

[911n234]

if i were Haymitch, i’d just shoot heroin. like sorry buddy that’s the only advice i have for you

[911n234]

Sooo, I just recently finished TBOSAS, and I have things to say:

1. I get it now — why so many people fell for Snow after only watching the movie. You don’t fully understand what kind of evil Coriolanus is unless you read it.

2. Just a warm thought to help you sleep a little better — one of the first things we learn about Snow is that he eats cabbage broth a lot. If you boil cabbage juuuuust a tiny bit longer than you should, it smells like dead rats (don’t ask how I know this. I just do).

3. Snow doesn’t actually dwell on his love for Lucy Gray. He spends time with her (for his own benefit), they kiss, and the people around him feed him the idea that they’re such a sweet couple. He never stops to think if he loves her — he just eats up someone else’s opinion and goes with the flow.

4. If we learn anything about the Hunger Games and how they affect people, it’s that Snow gets so much worse after them. This might be a hot take, but he didn’t repulse me as much in the beginning as he did after the Games.

5. Sejanus = Peeta. Katniss = a collective image of multiple characters. There’s no person exactly like her, but certain traits are scattered across different characters. I think the closest we get to Katniss in TBOSAS is Tigris.

6. A round of applause for the movie adaptation for the last scene, where Tigris tells Coryo that he looks just like his father. I was giddy to get to that part in the book — but, well… there is none.

7. And remember: Snow’s beloved apartment smelled like dead rats.

8. Overall, Snow is a fucking maniac. and his apartment smelled like dead rats.

That’s all for today. Thank you for your consideration. (A deep bow.)

[911n234]

my favourite thing about Everlark?

yes, I love how they are not only willing to sacrifice themselves for each other in a heartbeat but also to live for each other. yes, I will die on that hill, believing they were destined to be together from the start. yes, I adore the fact that they bring out the best in each other, even in the darkest times.

but the best part of their relationship, for me, is how we, as readers, were never meant to learn that Peeta never takes sugar in his tea, that he sleeps with the windows open, and other small, domestically intimate things that Katniss discovers on her own—and never wants to share with anyone. I like to think of it as her little secret, that information about Peeta is hers alone. Peeta might be partly right that she didn’t pay attention before, but she does now

[911n234]

You could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve that boy.

Apparently, some of you bitches just ate that up and completely agreed with Haymitch. One question—what makes you do that if Katniss’s self-imposed guilt doesn’t count?

Don’t get me wrong, I loooove Peeta. But why does that mean some of you have to act like Katniss was a bad person? Girl, let’s be for real. Imagine you were Katniss — volunteering instead of your twelve year old sister (who is the centre of your universe) to fight for your life in the HUNGER GAMES (!!!), terrified not just for yourself but for your sister, trying to mentally prepare to kill random kids.

Then, out of nowhere, this boy who once saved your life confesses he’s liked you for a long time — even though you’ve never had a real conversation. And since he saved your life before, you want to do the same for him — because, suddenly, there’s actually a chance you both could survive. How do you make that happen? Oh, that’s right — by convincing the audience (including your fucked-up government) that you love him too.

Then you win. And now, at sixteen, you’re so deeply traumatized that all you can do is try to keep your family safe and not lose your mind. How the hell are you supposed to process the fact that you’re actually falling for the guy who is ALSO a target? Because if you do let yourself love him, you’re giving your fucked-up government one of the easiest ways to hurt and control you.

And then, just after you were literally sentenced to death, an old drunk who doesn’t even like you that much tells you that you don’t deserve the boy. Oh, and by the way — you think it’s all your fault, because you couldn’t just fall in love on command. (i said it before and i’ll say it again: imo Haymitch was projecting his own feeling of unworthiness of somebody onto Katniss)

So yeah. Next time you want to shit on Katniss and say she didn’t deserve Peeta… just think of this post.

[911n234]

The Author Is Always Right

As we all know now, Suzanne Collins originally intended for Katniss and Gale to be cousins, but since that wouldn’t be great for sales, they convinced her to change it and allow a love triangle to form.

I still love everything about The Hunger Games, and the finished product is one of the best books ever. However (and this might be a hot take), Suzanne was right to want Gale to be our girl’s cousin. I feel like if that had been the case, the story would have been perceived more maturely.

When I read The Hunger Games for the first time, I was 10 or 11, so of course I was rooting for Peeta. I even made some posts about how Gale sucked, and one of my main worries was, “Omg, what if Katniss ends up with that guy and not my precious sweet Peeta??!!?” And like, a valid fear for a ten-year-old, lol.

But if I had been older when I read the books for the first time and had a better understanding of war, my biggest worry would have been, “What if Katniss ends up all alone?” Because that’s what happens in and after war — it takes away everyone you love. It drains you so much that the idea of love, of letting yourself bloom again after losing the most important person in your life, feels impossible. If there had been no love triangle, readers would have feared that Katniss might never find the strength or the will to heal.

And meanwhile, there are people who think it was wrong for Suzanne to have Katniss end up with Peeta, to have babies, to find some kind of domestic bliss… sorry, but do you understand the concept of these books?

I wouldn’t change a thing about The Hunger Games. I love it with all my heart. It’s just that the author is always right.

[911n234]

kay, thg fandom, assemble!

i’m in desperate need of some new everlark fanfiction, so, please, share your faves in the comments! 💚🧡

[911n234]

every time i listen to Mitski’s songs, i feel like it’s sooo everlark-coded, and you cannot convince me otherwise. like, girl, look at these lyrics, wtf 😭😭😭

[911n234]

Why do we believe Katniss was bad?

Okay, the title might feel a little misleading — and I did that on purpose ;)

Let’s be real: no one outright thinks Katniss was evil or a bad person. But not everyone fully understands her personality, and this often leads to unfair comparisons, especially with Peeta. Why is Peeta placed on a pedestal while Katniss gets labeled as “unworthy”?

1. Katniss is an unreliable narrator

We all know Katniss is her own harshest critic. She relentlessly picks at her flaws, second-guesses her decisions, and downplays her achievements. And let’s not forget: she’s a teenager. Who on Earth actually likes themselves at sixteen? That age is a messy cocktail of insecurity, identity crises, and, for Katniss, literal survival.

Her narration reflects her tendency to diminish herself. She assumes her bravery, self-sacrifice, and quick thinking are things anyone would do in her position. This self-effacing perspective shapes how readers perceive her — because we see her through the lens of her own insecurities.

2. Haymitch’s role in the misconception

Let’s talk about Haymitch. He’s a big factor in how people interpret Katniss. His straightforwardness and willingness to call her out, while often helpful, also feed into this narrative of her supposed unworthiness.

The infamous line — “You could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve that boy” — is a prime example. Many fans took it at face value, interpreting it as a comparison: Peeta is a saint, and Katniss just isn’t good enough. But hold on — what’s Haymitch really saying here?

Haymitch and Katniss are deeply similar, and Katniss acknowledges this herself. Both are survivors shaped by trauma, guilt, and a desperate need to protect the people they love. Haymitch likely projects his own feelings of unworthiness onto Katniss. Maybe he’s reflecting on someone he thought he didn’t deserve. His comment isn’t about Peeta being a perfect angel and Katniss being “less than” — it’s about his own baggage, and Katniss internalizes it the same way she internalizes everything else critical of her (can’t wait for Sunrise on the Reaping!!)

I can’t emphasise enough how much Haymitch affected our perception of Katniss and probably will never find words to describe how perfect it is. I think it was a beautiful way (in the literal sense) to show how deeply they are connected.

3. Katniss puts Peeta on the pedestal first

It’s worth remembering that Katniss is the one who idealizes Peeta before anyone else does. She sees him as her dandelion — a symbol of hope and light. She’s constantly comparing his warmth and kindness to her own pragmatic, survivalist nature.

And, again, she’s a teenager. While Katniss doesn’t seem overly preoccupied with her self-esteem (she has more pressing concerns, like not dying), it’s clear in the way she thinks about herself that she doesn’t feel “enough.” Of course she buys into Haymitch’s comment — it aligns with the narrative she already believes about herself and about Peeta.

4. Neither Katniss nor Peeta are perfect — and that’s why they’re perfect together

Here’s the thing: neither Katniss nor Peeta are saints. They’re flawed, traumatized, and deeply human. And that’s what makes their relationship so compelling.

Katniss is resourceful, fiercely loyal, and willing to do what needs to be done — qualities Peeta admires and needs. Peeta, in turn, is empathetic, kind, and an anchor for Katniss when she’s consumed by fear, despair or anger. Together, they balance each other. They’re partners in every sense, not because one is inherently better or more deserving, but because they make everything work — either it’s their flaws that make them human, demons that haunt them or their best qualities.

So, no, Katniss isn’t “bad,” and she isn’t “unworthy.” She’s just a girl trying to survive, navigate an impossible situation, and protect the people she loves. And for that, we owe her a lot more credit.

[911n234]

suzanne collins, your work will always be appreciated

Suzanne really had the nerve to make us fall in love with Peeta—sweet, gentle, good Peeta—when everyone was obsessing over emotionally unavailable and mysterious dudes. And honestly, it makes me love Peeta even more now. His character was ahead of his time: a caring, loving partner, the kind of standard we only started to appreciate more recently.

I swear to God, I start tweaking every time I see a TikTok comment about how Peeta will never be able to love Katniss the same way he did before the war. It’s his love for her—and his inner strength—that pulled him out of the trap his own mind set for him. He came back to Katniss because he loves her. But, on some level, these commenters are right. They’ll never have the same love they had before the revolution.

They’ll have a better one.

The love of solitude and peace. The love of understanding. The love forged through war, one that carried them through every torture, every loss, every tear they had to shed. It’s the love that’s stable and strong. The love that’ll make every bad thing bearable. The love that helps you heal. The love that never runs out.

But honestly, you can’t really blame people who fell into the narrative of Peeta “hating” Katniss. We all understand where that idea came from. The older you get, the more you realize how good Peeta’s hijacking arc is. No, he doesn’t hate her. No, it’s not some twisted awakening of sexual desire. And no, Peeta is not a “bad boy.”

He’s a terrified boy. A boy who lost everyone, including himself.

My Roman Empire? It’s Peeta not only being scared of Katniss but also of his own mind. Can you imagine waking up and having no idea who you are? It makes my heart ache for him, honestly.

Suzanne not turning Peeta into a “bad boy” tells us so much about the story. Yes, it’s about love—partially. But on so many levels, it’s a deep exploration of society and the people in it. Katniss, confused by her own emotions, Peeta, terrified of his own mind.

So yeah, miss Suzanne Collins definitely had the nerve.

[911n234]

What would happen if Katniss chose Gale over Peeta?

I think the one and only way this could ever happen is if Peeta died. But even in that case, Katniss wouldn’t really choose Gale. She would always find her way back to Peeta, even if she didn’t admit it (because, bffr, our girl is a pro at avoiding her emotions and desires).

So, let’s imagine our favorite boy with bread didn’t survive the revolution. Katniss might have seemed to give up on him in Mockingjay (but not truly! she was always waiting for him, and we know it) so she could try to “comfort” herself with thoughts that there was no Peeta already. Gale, however, would still be partly responsible for Prim’s death, so Katniss would resent him for a long time. Without Peeta to help her heal, it would take her much longer to forgive Gale, but eventually, she would.

In this universe, where Peeta is gone, Gale would linger in the background, checking on her from a distance. Knowing there’s no Peeta to “compete” for Katniss’s love and affection, Gale would come home and stay nearby, giving her time and space to process the idea that he is back in her life. He knows she values stability—she’s a creature of habit—and he’d use that to his advantage. Slowly but surely, he’d inch his way back into her life, being patient until one day he lays it all on the line: “Katniss, I have a career to pursue, so make your decision—are we doing this or not?” (toxic shit! Peeta would never!) But I think it fits perfectly: Katniss acts on impulse in stress situations, much like a prey. Gale would set her a deadline, something along the lines “there is a train in two days which will take me to 2, so, that’s how much time you have”. He is a hunter and he knows how to put a snare.

Katniss, terrified of losing the only person she has left, agrees to be with Gale. As for their living situation—whether they’d stay in District 12 or move to 2 or elsewhere — I have no idea, so I won’t speculate.

They’d be together, yes, but Katniss would never truly let go of Peeta. In Catching Fire, there’s a moment where she tries to think of love and what it would mean to see Gale in that context. But the first thing she says afterward is, “Where is Peeta?” That’s the perfect way to describe the dynamic of Katniss and Gale’s relationship in this scenario.

Katniss would never acknowledge (to anyone, or even to herself) how much she wishes it was Peeta holding her instead of Gale. But deep down, in the back of her mind, she’d know: she wants, needs is always Peeta.

And Gale would know it, too. He would see it in her eyes when she sees a beautiful sunset, wake up in the middle of the night from her screaming for Peeta, witness it in a way she looks at first dandelions. Maybe it’s OOC of me to think this way, but I believe that he would never voice his disappointment, his sadness. Gale would swallow his pride and keep his mouth shut, never bringing up the fact that Katniss loves Peeta. Perhaps Gale would see it as a consequence of pursuing after her, falling for his own dreams, when all that time it was painfully obvious how much Katniss needs her boy with bread.

P.S. Oh my god, I’m back after being blocked for more than four months, and it feels freaking AMAZING!