Professional Bisexual

Aka a fucking mess just shit I find funny Nothing special :)

[niqabisinparis]

if my husband doesn’t cry when he sees me on our wedding day I will softly kick him in the shin until he sheds a tear 

[nouveauartpunk]

[tiktokarchive]

[cockyroaches]

(gentle, calm purring)

(incoherent heavy breathing followed by just some Crazy licking to taste that shit)

(purring, again, but a little bit more curious this time)

[sofarawaytae]

[emoji-mashup-bot]

🌞 sun + 😡 extremely-angry

From Twitter

[soapiewaltened-deactivated20220]

I have no idea what emotion this is conveying but I feel it in my soul

[mothstardust]

thats called the customer service smile

[countingthecars]

I’m no fan of Cristiano Ronaldo but him wiping $4 billion off the market value of Coca Cola overnight by refusing to drink it at the press conference, moving the bottles away from him, holding up a bottle of water and telling people to drink that instead is the most hilarious and iconic thing I’ve ever heard and I’ve never had more respect for him than I do right now

[busket]

consider this officially considered

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

Thank u for considering my pigeon

[disc80s]

biting is a love language. no i will not elaborate.

[piss-stained-jorts]

[fanficmemes]

Babygirl I know fandom history that you wouldn’t even care about

[mikkeneko]

i know fandom history that even I don’t care about

[funny-tik-toks]

[alylovesfilms]

[socialcasualtxy]

[moviebee]

[she-volution-deactivated2022052]

[bmblb-fanatic]

It checks out

[sunshine-tattoo]

early 00s media was the era of the boring girl protagonist and her heavily lesbian-coded bff

[twilightown]

CAUSE EVERY TIME WE TOUCH I GET THIS FEELING

EVERY TIME WE KISS I SWEAR I COULD FLY

CAN’T U FEEL MY HEART BEAT FAST, I WANT THIS TO LAST

NEED YOU BY MY SIDE

[the-husbando]

This is the closest gif that can really capture the utter chaotic energy that is released when people hear this song

[positivity-in-recovery]

[arinashitabun]

Art by Hector aka shitty watercolor

[skylowalker]

[transparentgentlemenmarker]

Back to school

[volumenviridis]

[biglawbear]

Better than most Hollywood movies

[theoppositeofadults]

i’m………

[tideartist-deactivated20171102]

Needed this to cheer up–

[disgustinganimals]

please watch with sound on

[leatherjacketsupervillain]

That’s Cumlord! You can find his page on Facebook!!

[leaf-jelly]

that’s what

[mexicanine]

WHOMST

[dreamsequencer]

Good news guys

[beesmygod]

THAT’S WHY HE’S CALLED CUMLORD???

[byjove]

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is…evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The spiritual successor to Miette

[manicgoblinnightmarewoman]

Might I also add

[shydestinybread]

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

[unyanizedcatboys]

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

[explorerrowan]

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from “i can has”. Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they’re talking about.

[dualclock]

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she’s been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

[notcaycepollard]

[callmebliss]

Can haz snackytreat

[ladyshinga]

(source)

[paininmyheart-imalive]

THERES MORE THIS POST JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER 😂😂😂

[st4lker-deactivated20200823]

[aphextwinselectedambientworks]

[the-quasar-hero]

Me: what could be so bad that it warrants the use of that image?

The end: *happens *

Me:

[sleepy-sphinx-deactivated202012]

im begging you watch the whole thing

[sokka-with-his-hair-down]