Everything we know about the mistreatment of Scar at his oldest brother's wedding.
All information in this post is compiled from the following 2 vods:
[Etho Lore Stream 5/9/25 | 27:30 - 35:30]
[Hermit Hangout and Bank Interior! 6/3/26 | 2:59:50]
Skizz: "Who hurt you?!" Scar: "My brother's ex-wife..."
Before the wedding, Scar's brother told him to get fitted for a tux and that he would pay for it, but at the last minute he changed his mind, and Scar (who was broke at the time) had to pay $400.
Scar wasn’t able to fly at the time, so they had to to drive from California, to Washington, to Minnesota (4-5 day long trip) on a longer route to avoid elevation to keep his breathing stable.
Scar was a big introvert, especially back then, and when he got to the rehearsal wedding before the rest of his family, the bride’s family questioned him in an accusing manner about where the others were. He said "I think they're in traffic," and the bride got mad and proceeded to yell at him (which apparently happened to several other people throughout the wedding).
The rehearsal dinner was held at a family member’s house (from the bride’s side) and the bride’s family were apparently big smokers and loved cigars. His brother told them specifically not to light up their cigars since Scar was only 2 years off a ventilator, saying, “You’re gonna suffocate him.”
Everyone in the wedding party went downstairs into the basement to do gifts, completely forgetting about Scar and leaving him to awkwardly sit in the corner with his parents and his aunt.
About an hour in, a waft of cigar smoke hit Scar all at once and gassed him out of the house. Scar’s dad went “and with that, we're going back to the hotel." His brother tried to convince them to come back inside, saying, “Well, come back, it's ok, they’ll put them out!” but Scar’s dad said “Look at him, does he look like he can stay?” It took Scar an hour to get his breathing somewhat under control again.
Scar was supposed to be the best man, but his brother's ex-wife didn’t want him to because “it would mess up with the wheelchair” and Scar was moved to the bottom because “they didn’t want to change something.” It’s unclear exactly what Scar means here, but I’m assuming he’s talking about the couple, bridesmaids, and groomsmen being on a platform of some kind that wasn’t accessible, so he had to be on the ground floor.
Scar was paired with the bride’s sister who “absolutely did not want to be associated with the wheelchair person.” He said she complained, “Why did I have to be the one that goes down the aisle with the wheelchair person?” And she was apparently so upset she literally never said a word to him, and refused to push him down the aisle (his arms were too weak to roll himself down the carpet at the time) so his uncle had to step in and do it.
Scar could eat to a small extent at the time, but after they were seated at the reception, everyone got up to get food and left him behind. The carpet in the room was very plush, and his arms were very weak at the time, so he couldn’t push himself anywhere in that room. After half an hour his aunt noticed he didn’t have any food and got him some.
Scar’s brother hyped up the photo-booth they were going to have at the reception, and he was really excited and looking forward to it, until he got there and saw it was up 3 stairs and there was no way to fit a wheelchair inside.
This next bit has slightly different accounts. In the first stream, Scar says that when he wheeled over to the "party bus" and saw it was inaccessible, someone (it's unclear who) looked at it and went, “...yeah he's not gonna be able to get in there, it's ok, he'll find another ride.”
But in the most recent stream, Scar describes the exchange as his brother’s ex-wife saying, “Sorry, no wheelchairs can get in this bus,” his brother adding, “Don’t worry, he’s not coming anyway,” and his grandma saying, “it's ok, you can come with us.”
Scar says there was only 1 photo of the wedding party that included him, all the other photos were taken in a place he physically couldn't get to. He has a feeling this may have been deliberate, but he tries not to think about it.
There was one person in the wedding party that had spent time in a wheelchair for a few years after hurting their back, and Scar said they looked out for him and always tried to keep him included and made sure he wasn't left behind. He said they were super nice, "There's always a good person somewhere in the mix of a bunch of fools."
Scar describes this experience as feeling insulted the whole time, being made to feel lesser, like trash, and that he was an inconvenience being in a wheelchair.
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