I love three year olds because they’ll never say it to your face but it’s clear in every fibre of their being that they’re certain that their communications skills are perfect, and any adults who can’t understand what they want are just a little bit stupid.
Oh to have the confidence of a 3 year old insisting they’re called “pig newtons”
When I was four, my class teacher told me that smoking kills. So when I went back home, I went up to my uncle and told him ‘you’re gonna die soon’ . For the next week, I’d repeat it whenever I see him.
When my sister was three, my grandfather somehow ‘annoyed’ her, and she was found that day spilling oil on the floor outside his door so that he would slip and fall.
When my brother was three, he carried around snakes in his pockets and showed them to people he liked (my mom).
When my cousin was three, she made me write the names of everyone in the family on chits of paper and carried them around which I found adorable; until someone told her no, at which point she will take their paper and tear it in front of them.
When I was three, I decided that I am the supplier of divine justice, so whenever someone said something might happen, I made it my mission to have it happen. For example my aunt told my cousin to not leave her bottle open because she’ll spill water on the floor, the next time I saw the bottle open I poured the water on the floor. My mom told my cousin to wear slippers while walking outside or she’d get pricked by thorns, I’d prick her with thorns if she didn’t wear slippers. My mom told my aunt to be careful or she might trip and fall, I tripped her so that she fell.
Three year olds know exactly what is going on around them and they are not bound by the laws of this universe. The only reason they don’t run the world is because they are two feet tall and have -10 accuracy.
