searching for a landing place

For pictures ONLY, look here ! an artist you say?! yea, sure. Where's the start of the story? Right here!

[a-landing-place]

mijn migratie verhaal

never knew i'd write a text like this someday. but so, here it goes. in dutch no less. i think it's important for me to remember this.

-

Ik kwam aan in Brussel in 2011, voor een korte vakantie. Ik was in Amsterdam, Nederland vooreen stage bij het Nederlands Instituut voor Mediakunst en een Belgische ex-professor van mij vroeg of ik naar Brussel wou langskomen. Ik dacht dat het een goed idee was. Mijn eerste indruk van Belgïe was het vroeger vuile Brussel Zuid station. Er stond veel rommel en enge mensen in het station. Het was in de laat avond en ik was gelukkig om iemand die ik ken weer te zien.

 Dat weekend bezocht ik ook Gent waar mijn ex-professor werkte. Ik was onder de indruk van de historische gebouwen en kathedralen. Ik hou echt van Amsterdam dus Gent lijkt op een kleinere versie van Amsterdam met de kanalen en smalle straten van kasseien. Brussel was natuurlijk drukker en lawaaieriger. Ondanks dit, vond ik het ook levendiger en dus een spannende stad. Mijn ex-professor had niet zo veel vrije tijd om met me in de stad rond te wandelen omdat zij zich ook bezighield met haar lessen. Dus zoekte ik naar iemand op de website couchsurfing die mij Brussel kon voorstellen en met mij plaatsen kon ontdekken. Het was een toeval dat ik J ontmoette.

 J houdt ook van graphic novels en de tv series Doctor Who, dus ik besloot om met hem contact op te nemen. Hij was een PhD filosofie student en ik herinner me dat het superleuk was om met hem Brussel te verkennen. Hij wees mij de beroemde Grote plaats en een enkele andere bezienswaardigheden, maar de diepste herinneringen waren onze interessante conversaties. Ik schoot goed op met hem en ik geloof dat we een band hadden. Na dat weekend, kwam J ook op bezoek naar Amsterdam en we besteedden veel tijd samen de volgende weekenden. Het was geen verrassing dat ik op hem verliefd werd. Jammer genoeg, moest ik in de winter terug naar Singapore gaan.

 In 2013 reisde ik weer naar Belgïe om een master opleiding bij KASK gent te volgen. Ik zat in een vliegtuig voor 14 uren en uiteindelijk kwam ik terug naar Belgïe. Aan de ene kant verteld ik aan anderen dat ik terug naar Belgïe kwam omdat ik wil studeren en het dichtbij Amsterdam mijn lievelingsstad is, maar aan de andere kant vroeg ik me af of mijn reden echt eerlijk en eenvoudig was. Ik wist dat J nog in Brussel woonde en ik verlangde echt naar de dag die ik hem weer kon zien. Hoewel ik goede bedoelingen had, zijn we later uit elkaar gegaan. Hij werd een vreemde persoon en ik besefte eindelijk dat onze relatie me alleen pijn deed.

 Mijn eerste dagen in 2013 na de relatie was lastig omdat ik me echt alleen voelde. Het sombre Belgisch weer hielp mijn slechte humor niet. Ik moest ook wennen aan de Nederlandse taal. Ik herinner me dat in meeste klas discussies ik absoluut niets verstond. Ik moest na de discussies altijd aan mijn professors vragen om alles weer in Engels uit te leggen. Het is zeker niet zo praktisch. Er waren ook een paar gewoontes waaraan ik me moest aanpassen zoals ik moest altijd de slechtste verwachting hebben van het weer, en ik moest niet zo eerlijk en oprecht spreken omdat Belgen dat niet zo aangenaam vonden.

 Ondanks deze aanpassingen, kwam ik overeen met enkele heel goede belgische vrienden die dezelfde interessen hebben. Gelukkig vond ik vrienden die me ook heel veel steunden. Ik bracht veel tijd door met school activiteiten en mijn thesis waardoor ik me in de volgende maanden beter voelde. Tijdens de lente werd ik gevoelsmatig sterker. De straat buiten mijn school werd door bloeiende kerselaaren omzoomd. Het was een heel mooi uitzicht en ik voelde me hoopvol.

 Ik werd uitgenodigd voor feestjes en kwam met mijn vrienden samen om van concerten en lekker avondseten te genieten. Ze stelden me voor om traditonele Belgische gerechten zoals waterzooi, stoemp, stoverij en witloof te proeven. Volgens mijn chineze cultuur is samen eten belangrijk om vriendschap te sluiten en ook een cultuur te leren kennen. Dus ben ik heel dankbaar voor de aanvaarding, openheid en gezelligheid dat ik heb meegemaakt. Ik kon ook op hen rekenen wanneer ik me eenzaam voelde of moeite had met mijn huisgenoten. Mijn vrienden hebben ervoor gezorgd dat Belgïe een warmere plaats is voor me. Door deze vrienden voel ik me thuis in Belgie.

 Nu ik een Belgische partner, twee Belgische katten en een leuke appartement heb, zie ik de toekomst hoopvol in. Inderdaad zijn er veel dingen over Belgïe dat ik wil veranderen zoals de inefficiënte en soms heel stomme bureaucratie en het wisselvallige depressieve weer maar net zoals alle andere landen, zijn er altijd voordelen en nadelen aan een land en als ik altijd klaag, zal er geen oplossing zijn! Ik wens dat ik ook een illustratie job kan vinden maar het is heel frustrerend om iets te vinden of in de maatschaapij te integreren. Maar hopelijk zal alles uiteindelijk in orde komen.

 Ik heb nooit heimwee omdat ik me nooit thuisgevoeld heb in mijn land Singapore. Het was te druk voor mij en ik voelde me altijd een beetje vreemd. Volgens mij is Singapore een stad die geen gevoelens of medelijden heeft voor mensen die niet in het maatschappelijke keurslijf passen. Misschien mis ik de echte aziatische gerechten en de vrienden met wie ik opgroeide maar de wereld is nu heel klein en met het internet of Skype kunnen we nog contact hebben met elkaar. Het is niet hetzelfde maar dit is mijn keuze om hier in Belgïe te blijven dus ik wil geen spijt hebben.

[a-landing-place]

Prep for New Home (part 2)

It's been awhile since I wrote here. Since it's been raining all day since yesterday and I'm incredibly slothful, I shall finally update something. I promised pictures of the apartment, so here they are!

And some of the DIY projects we did...

This nifty moveable coffee table. I really liked something similar I saw on Pinterest so a quick trip to Brico (the belgian DIY store) found us some nice slab of wood, though ideally I wanted a raw edged wood, like a cutting from a tree.. Sig just glued the wheels underneath. We wanted to nail them initially, but without nails, it looked so much more minimal.. So easy!

Aaaand the bear table, completed! Previously it was a lurid green but Sig allowed me to get it on a bargain of 40euros. ("Don't worry Sig! It's gonna be aaaamaazing if it's all black! It will be a conversation piece!") Found out recently that this bear is also uncanny to something sold on Urban Outfitters for like 500+euros. A spray paint job, major cleaning, and fixing up the back of the bear (which was covered by a hideous vinyl with a flower painting on it) did the trick.

Not going to post any pictures of the bedroom yet because there are still missing furniture that Sig has to construct for me, haha.

Recently it was also Sig's birthday. I wanted to surprise him so I was checking out bunting decoration ideas online. A lot of them were loud and kind of kitsch, which is amazing and fantastic for parties of course. But I really wanted something that Sig would actually like. Since he's an architect and all, it's gotta be classy and we both like minimalism.. a google search on "architect party ideas" was total shit. Until I chanced upon a very simple tutorial for geometric buntings. 

I spray painted some paper. There are random black blotches with wetter paint, and the paint would also seep through to the other side, but it's completely okay. It actually gives a 3 dimensional and marbled look later.

Cutting up strips of paper and folding them into squares. Easy peasy.

When the black ones are dried. Nice texture behind!

Sig really liked them and now they're a semi permanent fixture/decoration in our home. Haha.

[a-landing-place]

self-doubts and panopticons

Recently I read this article about Walt Disney buying lots of land in Florida with plans to build a "utopian" city for experimentation of new technologies. The city plan was circular with a tall tower in the middle where Walt Disney himself pointed to the topmost balcony and said that his wife and him will be enjoying the view when the whole city is built. He actually managed to obtain his own governance for this huge plot of land, the mayor wouldn't be able to interfere in the running of his utopia. There would be no land ownership and democratic rights. It was incredibly creepy because I remembered reading about Bentham's Panopticon which he believed would be a rational and efficient way of surveillance with the least manpower, especially adequate for prison infrastructure.

Something seemingly innocent was interpreted in the most subversive sense by Foucault, where the panopticon is the metaphor for the power of mind over mind, of control and oppression and the feeling that one has to govern their own actions all the time, not knowing when they are being watched.

Sig and I were fascinated with this discussion last evening in the midst of the most boring gaggle of conversations from his colleagues. It was super weird. When we arrived, everyone stared. They all stood at the entrance of the VIP lounge to this festival (his boss was one of the sponsors), in a huge circle and refused to acknowledge or even let Sig and I into the circle of sparse conversation. Sig seemed to look on like a puppy dog and I realised he didn't really have anyone at work he really could click with. When finally we managed to join some sort of non-conversation, the topics were mainly about their boss (all snide insults and criticisms) or other colleagues (also snide things).

It was utterly utterly the most boring company get-together I've ever been to. Even the guy sitting beside me on the dinner table responded with the most awkward shock when I struck up casual talk with him (mainly about how everything sounded like a foreign movie without subtitles). It reminded me of how my belgian schoolmate was also utterly inadequate in responding when I made friendly conversation. God. People here are COLD indeed. 

Anyway so the graduation show opening went by a few days ago. It was also frankly pretty dreadful to be surrounded by so many hopefuls and watching people getting duly rewarded (or not) while my work seemed to pass under the radar. I felt really really small and unappreciated indeed. I wish I don't have to sound totally whiny and insecure but some sort of.. positive results of it all would be nice. I kept wondering if perhaps I'm not good enough, but that's always the same shit whether with past abusive non-relationships, or when I was under this draconian oppressive school system where grades and awards JUSTIFY your worth as an artist. Fuck that.

I'm tired and tired and tired of being down just because no one pays attention to my work. So I wonder, if this world were a huge panopticon and I'm in one of those tiny cells, jumping and yelling and trying to get noticed, but then realising, suddenly, there's actually no one in the tower watching. 

How strange then, it must feel incredibly lonely, to NOT be watched.

[a-landing-place]

MAJOR STRESS !!!!!!!

STRESS I'M STRESSED I'M STRESSED.

I can't believe every graduations bring this sort of existential crises. 

I love work but I can't survive without much money.

I need more press & publicity I need to start making something out of my illustrations. 

focus. focus. focus. focus. focus. focus.  

[a-landing-place]

Perspectives

A few things have been happening, and haven't been happening.

What's happening 1. I had my jury the day before for my final masters project. I was confident but indeed I did visit the toilet twice before the jury. It went pretty okay I think. There were a few questions regarding the possibility of publishing due to how "expensive" my materials were and the format of my book, and the general layout of the stories. However I felt like those questions wouldn't really be asked should the jury have time to actually read through the stories and understand the intention behind the different page sizes (I made use of page inserts), and the need to put in the various elements of background story, artwork, comic.

That said, I had a few positive responses too. Mainly about my drawing skill. Of course, very cursory and superficial due to the quick judging, so I'm truly curious about their feelings and thoughts AFTER having time to read it. Still no news about these comments though, but because of how outspoken I was during jury, making everyone introduce themselves (it's only fair right? I had no idea who they were or what they did…), the nature of my project… and the answer to a question where someone from the jury asked, "is this ex flemish?" to which I replied, "erm.. yes but I hope this doesn't affect my grades.. my new boyfriend is flemish too!", it seemed like they had fun gossiping about me behind closed doors about this new boyfriend. Ha ha! funny.

My mentors left the room beaming though, one even gave me a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. So I'm assuming, it went fairly well. STILL, I NEED/WANT TO BE PUBLISHED. More important than grades man...

2. Reviews are starting to appear on the interwebs about Liquid City Vol. 3, a comic anthology I'm published in. Today's review I noticed a mention about my work, and it compared me to Rutu Modan… I'm extremely.. bowled over. To be singled out from a 24-artists (or so) anthology, and to be compared to one of my heroes… MMmmm this is kind of better than schoolmates that used to tell me I paint like Cezanne (ackkk). Sounds like I'm boasting (hahaha), I don't think I paint ANYTHING vaguely like him at all. And I'm not very good at painting, technically. I paint with heart, though. ;)

3. Finally booked the moving van and it'll be goodbye Brussels for now and hello fashion capital Antwerp and shopping-everyday-Antwerp and I-probably-shouldn't-live-in-Antwerp Antwerp. Mixed feelings. I really am going to miss Brussels. Quite a lot happened here, I must say! Well, I'm still technically in Belgium… Maybe it's time for some stories about Brussels mm? A new idea for a graphic novel? ;)

WHAT'S NOT HAPPENING 1. A Proper Job. So Important. I'm still working freelance for a meagre amount and I want so many things… for a career in graphic novels, but also to work fully in fashion, etc. I really need things happening on this front… as I foresee myself shopping "a lot" (subjective) out of boredom and then spiralling into guilt and self-hate and existential feelings.

2. My sketchbook has been very empty and recently I finished another mini comic which is very different from what I usually do… it's fantasy-related but other than that, there's no new plans or ideas for new projects and sometimes this worry me. My dramatic life has fed the fuel for Liquid City 3 and for my Masters project but now it's approaching stability in the love field and to be honest, I'm not sure how to grapple with it. Sig made a quip that perhaps J is the "best thing that happened" to me and it's horrifying to think about because NO!!! I DO NOT agree with the mantra that only pain induces art, though there is of course a high inclination for pain-fuelled art to be more empathetic and comprehensive of the human condition...

So I need to let Sig's ~love~ inspire me to make warm-hearted stories this time (enough hate!), and perhaps to do something crazy again.. meet new strangers etc, for some sort of inspiration… No problem I think. New City, New People. Here we go.

[fridawhereareyou]

My graduation is coming up! 

http://www.schoolofarts.be/graduation2014/student/shuxian_lee

[a-landing-place]

Fashion week is approaching… been so busy again. And my jury for my final masters project is next week! 

[a-landing-place]

Prep for the New Home

Been busy cleaning and scrubbing and fixing up the new apartment in Antwerp with Sig. Not many people know this, but I have some sort of dirt phobia going on which is suppressed over time. It is this irrational fear of corners since they collect dust (I once wished I lived in a hot air balloon or blimp with all rounded corners and rounded furniture so there's no corners to deal with). I also hated jewellery and spectacles because they seem to get mouldy over time and have all these tiny catchment possibilities for dirt and dust. I know, paranoia and dirt phobia.

It got better when I got older but after having to clean up the layer of dirt and dust the previous renter left (a bachelor, surprise surprise), I was traumatised. Actually it's probably not THAT bad but when you try to be meticulous… UGH!! Especially the bathroom, which is the tiniest part of the house, yet the grossest. Sig kindly took it upon himself to make it clean and nice so I wouldn't vomit just thinking about it. There's still this strange pervasive smell near the entrance of the apartment, but hopefully it will disappear sooner or later.

We also have been looking out for weird quirky gems in flea markets. I begged Sig to get that ugly bear table, which we did and I'm going to repaint. My parents had a similar but with lurid dolphins surfing greenish blue waves under the glass, so when I saw this one, I really thought, BINGO! I HAD to have it. 

I guess these pictures don't look that bad. We really scrubbed, and I mopped the floor TWICE. There's still a bedroom space but I'll continue posting more pictures when there's furniture and more decoration...

[a-landing-place]

Searching for Mosasaurus (part 2)

We headed to Maastricht to catch the opening of KUNSTTOUR NU, a city-wide exposition that involved several galleries and art spaces that opened up to public. We went for the main one at the Timmerfabriek. I was truly quite disappointed at the works that were on show. They were mostly either sorely lacking in technique or were questionably (too) conceptual. Still, it was nice to see what was going on contemporary art-wise, and I spotted several german and dutch post-expressionist painting trends. (Marrying the low with the high, a penchant for angry graffiti-like scribbles, usage of lots of spray paint, epoxy, various textures, naive-looking art…)

We stayed at this amazing kasteel somewhere on the fringes of maastricht. It was the first time Sig and I were in a proper Hotel, so that was a nice change and probably superficial milestone in our pragmatic relationship (hahah, kidding). There was this steam-punk inspired, tim burton looking sculpture on the kasteel grounds. It looked like a cross between the loch ness monster and the Mosasaurus...

Anyway the kasteel was situated in the midst of farmland and small forests and it was so lovely to be wandering around with the smell of fresh dewy grass and leaves and tree bark in the morning.

After saying our goodbyes to Lennart and Ron, we finally got to go for a tour of one of the limestone quarries! We got to see the Grotten Zonneberg, a man-made "cave" or rather, now disused limestone quarry. This was one of the quarries where they found Mosasaurus fossils and other various fossils and bones from the Cretaceous period. Europe used to be under a body of water during this era. So there were tons of deposits of Cretaceous sea flora and fauna that were probably buried under layers and layers of earth on this part of the world. And since this was a quarry, a lot of these fossils were discovered during the 18th-19th century. After the use of these quarries became obsolete, they started holding tours, and that was how these charcoal paintings on the walls came about. 

Something really interesting in the history of these man-made tunnels was that during the war, there were discussions to build a whole underground city for the refuge of the people of Maastricht. There were ovens for baking bread, and even a church altar in one of these tunnels. Fortunately they did not get to utilise the quarry for this purpose as they forgot to consider the problem of sanitation for thousands of people should they be living underground!

The charcoal drawings were aesthetically very pretty and in the context of these pitch dark limestone caves, all the more fun to experience. Kind of a gimmick maybe, but it was like discovering something prehistoric (except they weren't). The infamous Mosasaurus bones that were found were apparently in the Natural History museum, so off we went!

Alas, we found out that the bones were already taken by the french several centuries ago, and what was left in the museum was a cast of the original. Still, very interesting. In scale, very very scary. What I really loved about the museum was a room preserved to look like what it did in the 19th century. It really reminded me of the amazing Musée de la Chasse et de la Nature in Paris which I actually accidentally stumbled into. There were taxidermies and strange creatures in flasks displayed in cabinets.

There was also a small garden at the back of the museum and the most beautiful grotesque main door, which apparently had casted fish heads for the creatures poking out of the façade...

So the journey in search of the history and presence of the Mosasaurus ends here. 

[a-landing-place]

Searching for Mosasaurus (part 1)

Friday started out bright and sunny, perfect for the beginning of some sort of adventure. Sig and I drove to Bassenge, the walloonian side of Belgium not too far from Maastricht, the Netherlands. According to ale and carlos, there was this strange crazy castle with the most amazing sculptures built by an artist there. I definitely had to see it for myself. As the car rolled into the narrower dirt roads, this incredible sight greeted us. A castle with four huge mythical beasts perched sinisterly on its four corners. 

We had to wait for ron and lennart to show up as this was our designated meeting spot before heading to Maastricht together. While waiting, Sig and I spotted cherry trees and… well we drove the car close to them so Sig could climb onto the roof of the car and pluck some for us to eat. You can't get 'em any fresher. Finally they arrived and prior to entering, the woman in charged warned us about posting any pictures of the castle interiors on the internet, "For personal use only" she said in Dutch. Well. I'm here to mystify you more about the insides of the Tower of Eben-Ezer.

The inside had a few floors, one with a permanent exhibition, the rest with rotating exhibitions. Only the second floor (the permanent part) was particularly intriguing. It had walls covered with drawings and sculptures of battle scenes, both biblical and political. There were scenes of hell and war and a huge godzilla-like beast thrashing through. The middle of the room was held up by four strange creatures with huge wings, back to back, facing in the four directions. They had animal heads that resembled esoteric religions and myths. There was also random paraphernalia around, like skulls, fossils, bones, limestones, and scientific paper documents contributing to the whole mystique of the Tower. There were also lots of biblical references in the symbolism used in the wall frescoes and sculptures, but apparently according to the lady in charged, the sculptor was not religious at all.

Further up on the peak, there were stranger symbols and also a distant view of a quarry. This was really somewhat ominous as later, Sig and I would be going underground in a quarry to discover more incredible things. I will write about that later.

Around the castle grounds, there was also a small forest, where there were tons of art and random sculpture by various artists littered around. Some built with metal and cement, some were with wood, and they were all in little corners between trees. A lot of them were also somewhat sinister-looking, almost like magical beings or apparitions in the forest. We also spotted abandoned huts, bonfire wood and teepees, which were used for visiting workshops. 

There was a lot of history and war time resistance attached to this tower, especially in the name. Eben-ezer was supposed to be counteracting the fort of Eben emael, the first frontier to the german attack on Belgium back in world war II. Eben-ezer also referred to the biblical location of a battle between Israelites and Philistines. I guess this explained the tragic violent imagery within the castle, though the real reasoning behind Eben-ezer was not so clear. He seemed like a really eccentric dude with a penchant for mythology and darker biblical apocalyptic tales. Still, a really intriguing place to visit and some of the drawings on the walls were indeed quite inspiring for me. 

One of the exhibitions within the tower also spoke about the mosasaurus being found in nearby quarries. The mosasaurus was a reptile-like sea creature from the Cretaceous period, and its first discovery was in Maastricht. You can imagine this triggered even more excitement for me in finding out more about this beast as its presence seems to be silently prevalent in these places around and within Maastricht.

[a-landing-place]

Book Binding Business

A second meeting with my bookbinder gregoire in the beautiful bohemian neighbourhood of st gilles turned out to be a really intriguing affair.. We discussed about old buildings in Brussels with secret undiscovered spaces disused and forgotten with time, only to be found accidentally again by new owners and restored to arthouse cinemas, "you know, things we don't understand" (self awareness about artyness is always hilariously appreciated). He also recommended me new places to uncover in this city that, I swear, is like a labyrinth which continually unveils new corners. Another discovery is that gregoire is one of the first cohort of belgians released from the responsibility of compulsory military service. Instead he could choose to be posted to do voluntary cultural work. He was sent to this english town called Chester, where he worked for the custodian of a painfully meticulously preserved 19th century mansion (with all the interior and furniture and appliances also preserved )! He told me about special vacuum cleaners used which had an extra bucket around the nozzle so you could check that you were not sucking in "history". 

Importantly, he experimented with printing my book cover (which is covered by illustrations) on fabric (not usual). The test piece is absolutely beautiful and i'm super glad the fate of my book rests on his hands. This book is gonna be fucking brilliant!

[a-landing-place]

Parental visit (ack!)

Recently my parents visited, made a huge fuss about the cleanliness of the apartment (oh please blame my housemate), made a huge fuss everywhere, and frankly, I was glad the visit was over!

Parents being here also meant copious amounts of asian food, including a pre-roasted whole duck from the asian supermarket and lots of frozen fish in my freezer. The angmoh boyfriend also had his first taste of asian hospitality and my dad and mom's cooking (they insisted) and then rounds of "you're so fat", "he's so fat", "you're so thin", volleying across the room and table.  Biting into the roast duck strangely came with the image of my maternal late grandparents' home with the slightly sticky mosaic tiled floors and smell of old dusty furniture, joss sticks and medicated oil. My mom's stir fried bak choy were slightly overcooked and limp and drenched in way too much sauce. They tasted of hasty cooking from a working mom. My dad's more optimistic fried snapper in japanese soy sauce, spring onions and ginger was aromatically sweet, not too salty and very tender. It reminded me of his happier moods in the kitchen. Sigurd devoured it all and with that came the innocuous yet subversive question, "What's your plan for the future? What are you doing with shu? Don't you know living together means.. you know.. you have to Make a Committment." Sigurd answered perfectly with, "I want to spend my life with shu." After that mom kept insinuating there was a deadline to tying the knot "because of her grandma's values". We secretly agreed after my parents were gone that we didn't want the pressure, and after all like how my fried noodles, according to my dad, tasted "Western", I'm only a "bad" asian girl. Sig did agree though, to grant me my Wedding Party someday because what are weddings if only for the party. Essentially.

[a-landing-place]

Sig and I at the Grand Place.

[a-landing-place]

ALL IS GRIM

Other than feeling incredibly unmotivated and uninspired, I re-looked at work permits again and I can almost see why all the places I'm applying to are rejecting me without blinking an eye. OR they actually saw me and suddenly went missing… Like a date that promises you a second date and  then out of the blue, tells you he's in love with someone else. Or he just disappears without a trace. Finding a job here seems like courting a cold belgian uptight guy. Well, I actually managed to charm a belgian with my amazing uncouthness and brashness and profuse sentiments so does this mean better days would come in terms of my gloomy employment prospects? 

Really, with this in mind, HOW am I supposed to be creative? HOW am I supposed to be able to keep drawing knowing that soon I will starve if I don't do something about getting some Proper Work. Godverdomme. 

[a-landing-place]

ART BRUSSELS / BBQ VOGUE

Went to Art Brussels this year with invitations from Ale. I love opening parties for art shows, always full of people to watch, the chi-chi rich, the faux rich and then the pretentious norm-core artists. I'm really surprised by the standard of Art Brussels though. I've been to a few art fairs, namely the affordable art fair in Amsterdam and the one in Singapore and I am always overwhelmed by the sheer kitschiness of the majority of the exhibits. Well, no surprise there I guess, art fairs tend to be to slightly controversial due to the incredibly obvious commercial and consumerist aspects to them. However, Art Brussels has a fair share of interesting and thought-provoking works too! They're mostly still very pretty aesthetically of course, perfect mantlepieces for the bourgeoisie living room, but there are a few visually arresting works.

I especially liked the one from The Old Boy's Club. She had a mesh of video installations and animations amidst stunning japanese-inspired pop illustrations. She used old calculators and clocks and replaced the screen with an animated one where she had cute little figures morphing in and out of numbers. So clever and funny! 

The Cinema installation looked really cool too. It was this retro-future looking round structure, where you could enter by crouching under it. Inside there was a double sided screen with chairs circled on both sides. There was also a small outdoor area where a dj was spinning and people standing around looking cool and drinking while I was busting some moves as usual. I think it was Sig's old round glasses and poofy hair and me being the only Asian (or something) that made us such an interesting pair that caught the eye of a random french photographer who took a picture of us with her iphone.

This struck up a conversation and she offered us fries because she was afraid of being fat. And that ended my experience at Art Brussels. Good art and very kind strangers. haha!

The weekend was also very nice as Banana invited us for a housewarming vegetarian/vegan BBQ. It was EXTREMELY DELICIOUS! I had no idea peanut butter goes super well with tofu. I guess everything over a barbecue is great. 

Sig also recently got a job (yay!) and now comes the part where we stress over finding an apartment (but in Brussels! wooo!) as my housemate is getting incredibly annoying (wait what's new). It's strange because Sig hardly hogs the living room or makes much noise but the housemate claims he couldn't concentrate and is displeased with an additional person in the house. I say, it's just a male thing where there's a competition of being alpha and.. my housemate REALLY needs to chill out. (ps, he needs a girlfriend.)

[a-landing-place]

Yamato review

I've been to Yamato before, this tiny authentic joint with a line of people waiting near the door. The restaurant is an open kitchen concept, where customers would eat around the kitchen on a counter. Not so much a place for idling or socialising, it's really almost like a fast food ramen joint since they don't seem too happy with anyone hogging the counter more than necessary. With that said, I have no idea what the bookshelf of mangas are for, perhaps for the line of people waiting for their turn, except the wait isn't that long if you're going solo or just as a duo. 

The menu is sparse but focused on their tcha shu ramens and katsudons. The only side available is their amazing gyozas with slippery smooth skin and juicy pork inside. Almost everyone would order gyozas. And I can totally understand why! I think the gyozas are the best on the menu. For the mains, the tenderness of the pork in their tcha shu ramen is incredibly disappointing. It's funny because I actually ordered the same thing on my first trip, the tcha shu miso ramen, and I mentally told myself that as much as their miso broth is delicious (not too salty), NEVER to order the tcha shu again. Instead of the fatty layers of pork, I'm presented with the tough side, overcooked and leathery in texture. It's so tough to chew that strands of it would stick to your teeth. ACK. But of course, the broth makes up for it so I completely forget and ordered the same thing again, and got disappointed with the pork again. 

Sig ordered the katsu (crispy fried skin on the outside) ramen, which is much better. At least the pork is softer, but for a joint that only sells pork (or vegetarian) ramen and dons, you would expect the pork to be exceptional. The ramen noodles itself are slightly chewy in texture, done perfectly. Price wise is very reasonable for the huge portion… But I think if I ever come to Yamato again, it would just be for the gyozas or the vegetarian ramen. 

Lots of locals and expats seem to love this joint, perhaps because of the convenient location and the recommendation stickers on the window. However, I feel like the place is a bit overhyped. So far it seems to be the best option in Brussels though, unfortunately.

Yamato is located at Matonge.

[a-landing-place]

another world

Recently went to the Royal Greenhouses in Laeken which was seldom opened to public. Never thought I'm one for flowers or lots of green, but surprisingly it was a nice breather from all the city I've been ingesting.

The amount of frustration in the apartment with the antagonising housemate and the restlessness from the last lap of my Masters thesis is building up. I'm almost done with school, and yet still no hopes of a Proper Job. My part-time stint.. well I'm not sure if it'll carry me through and so it seems like I'm headed for another bout of quarter-life existential crisis that comes with graduations and uncertainties for the future.. and no government supported unemployment benefits. (ha!)

The boyfriend is doing slightly better, at least there's some hope. He went for a couple of interviews and there was one job he really wanted. We're crossing our fingers for that one. I'm starting to adore Brussels but I really do want my own space (with him), no pesky housemate, privacy and some sort of knowledge that I wouldn't have to keep packing up and moving all the time. So this will probably follow once he gets a job, we move in together, and probably out of brussels. Kind of strange for me to want this now, when the nomadic life or the thought of exploring new things and putting myself in awkward situations used to seem so desirable.. 

Anyway, after a nice easter weekend jumping on a trampoline and eating homemade pizza at Ale's, it suddenly filled both Sig and I an urge to have a garden. Living close to the green especially in Spring (a good spring, not the usually dreary belgian ones), would be rejuvenating and maybe somewhat stress relieving. Adding on to the visit at the greenhouses, it really is going to make me re-think living on the city outskirts (but conveniently located near public transport of course, I'm not all out pro-suburbs.)

Also finally caught Frida (the one staring Salma Hayek) that reduced me to an embarrassing blubbery mess of tears. No idea why. I used to name my cat after Frida Kahlo, thinking I want a cat that could understand and withstand pain. The cat got lost while I was wandering in Amsterdam. The film was visually spectacular and the accents were weird but I loved how alive it made Frida seem in my mind. I think I could almost understand now how destructive and passionate the love is between Frida and Diego. The ending part at Frida's retrospective in Mexico where Diego gave a speech about Frida, how he didn't want to speak of her as her husband, but as a fellow artist, really hit some spot. I think this was the part where I couldn't hide my tears anymore.