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bannock-and-biopolitics-deactiv

A lot of adulthood is shouting “AUGH MY LAUNDRY” hours after you put it in the washer/dryer and running to go fetch it

curlicuecal

oh shit my laundry

mishafletcher

reblog to save someone’s laundry

wanksclub-deactivated20141104

did you make your dad proud when you said “same” on that post

paintmix

View this post on Instagram

maralie-deactivated20211111

i really love our generation’s joke trend of like, very calm but incredibly inflated hyperbole. like nobody says “oh she’s pretty” anymore we say “i would willingly let her murder me” and everyone is just like “lol same”

i think “same” is also great and “me,” i love when somebody reblogs a picture of like, a lizard, and just says “me” and we all know exactly what they mean. the current online Humor Discourse is remarkable because we trade exclusively in metaphors and implications and nobody ever, ever says anything outright and yet EVERYBODY understands each other perfectly

Hamilton: Rules are made to be broken.

Burr: Rules are made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Laurens: uh, Piñatas.

Mulligan: glow sticks

Angelica: karate boards

Lafayette: spaghetti when you have a small pot

Hamilton: rules

kimpossibooty

Things That Happened On My First Day At Target

-Sold lingerie to an eighty year old woman

-Got a free salted caramel frappacino from the suspectedly gay barista, Parker

-Sold a bra to the mom of a sixteen year old girl who was cringing the entire time

-Had a very engaging conversation with a three year old boy about colors. We both like blue.

-Served an old woman who I thought had an impressive mustache, but it was just nose hair

-Watched her and two other women with her get trapped between two sets of automatic doors because they did not understand how to open them. How they got through the first set, I still do not know.

-Sold fifteen gallons of kitty litter to a soccer mom who refused to break eye contact

-Got a second free starbucks drink. This one was a pumpkin pie one that wasn’t even on the menu. I like this barista man.

-Gave dozens of children stickers. Several of them squealed when they got them. This is the best part of my job.

-Sold an old man $200 of furniture and got him to sign up for a Target credit card. Before he finished the last step, he turned and walked away with his cart without a word.

-He still hadn’t paid. I called him back and he apologized, saying “sorry, sometimes my diabetes makes me do that.” He didn’t finish getting the card.

-A woman came up with $220 of items. After a wad of coupons and a stack of free gift cards from other promotions, her total went down to $55. I want her to teach me.

-Saw a girl skipping down the aisle in what can only be described as a pink princess fairy wedding dress. She was filled with happiness and if I hadn’t been on the clock I would have taken her. At the very least, I want that outfit for my own.

-Got approached by a large man named Jason. He told me not to steal. I will take this advice to heart.

-Met a woman referred to only as The Cat Lady. She asked if I wanted her to buy me a keychain from Ross. I told her I had no keys. She nodded solemnly and walked away, whispering their exact location inside Ross, just in case.

-Got called into the HR Head’s office at the end of my shift. I was expecting to be yelled at for some reason. She and another lead showered me in compliments for ten minutes straight, saying a lot of managers had been saying great things about me all day. Not what I expected, but I’ll take it.

kimpossibooty

Day Two:

-Intimidating farmer man in overalls and pigtails came through my checkout. He bought a bucket. He spoke no words. He made no eye contact. He left me with questions.

-Three college boys came through, each buying spandex and makeup wipes. They spoke no words. They made too much eye contact. They left me with more questions. I question when this job will provide answers.

-A three year old came through, pushed by his personal chauffeur. He bought one small Spider-Man onesie. He carried out the entire transaction on his own. He was the most polite customer I have had so far.

-Three people walked away without their change. Only two returned.

-A man bought thirty light bulbs with a coupon. He told me he did not need thirty light bulbs. He just likes coupons.

-He then walked to customer service, claiming to have returned several things he did not mean to. He then walked a lap around the store and left. He did not leave the store with his light bulbs. They were nowhere to be found.

-A customer came through looking nervous. She leaned over the counter. She whispered to me. Someone had pooped in the baby supplies aisle. All evidence pointed to it not being a baby.

kimpossibooty

Day Three:

-Two children came through the line. They were chanting to their mom through heavy streams of tears. “WE WANT STICKERS MOMMY.” There were no stickers at any of the registers. They continued crying. I failed my people.

-An old woman bought five bottles of wine and a large bottle of vodka. Her license told me she had lived through World War II. Her smile told me she was still living.

-I sorted through the candy in the checkout lanes. I was meant to set aside candy that had expired in the last month. A box of Kit Kats was found that had expired in February of 2015. One was missing. I hope the poor sap is okay.

-Clearance school supplies have arrived. A man bought 71 spiral notebooks for $6. A woman bought 110 folders for $4. I hope they meet each other. I would like to see the child of two math problem characters.

-A bearded man named Rusty came through. I sold him a bottle of Crystal Light powder and a gallon of water. The powder was empty. The water jug had an inch of pink water left in it. How long has he been inside the store already. His beard intimidated me too much to ask.

-An elderly man in a fedora pushed two full carts into my lane. They were both filled to the brim. He bought 52 12-packs of Mountain Dew. 12 were diet. He repeatedly told me he was 80 years old. As I handed him his receipt, he leaned in and whispered, “I’m going to get DRUNK.” He pointed at his carts, smiled at me, and scurried away with his definitively alcoholic purchase. I wonder if he knows. I wonder if he cares.

Uhm I posted a sad then cute Lams fic anyone wanna read it? archiveofourown.org/works/7887055

#hamilton #lams #alexander hamilton #john laurens

John Laurens in Peggy's dress as drawn by my best friend whose tumblr I cannot remember to save my own life .

#hamilton

slutshame-alexanderhamilton

Reblog if you are also a Bastard Brat of a Scotch Peddler

coltre

I feel so stupid sometimes because I fantasize too much about the people I like; I invent stories with them, I imagine entire days with them and how nice the future will be with pictures and letters and other tender things that makes a lot of sense in my mind. then the reality turn to be so much different and meaner and maybe the reason why it’s so difficult for me to accept it and letting people go it’s because I just want my future to be happy. in all my stories and castles I build inside of my mind, sadness just does not exist

theselflessbeggar

My Favorite Moments in Early US History

Alexander Hamilton fucking misspelled Pennsylvania on the Deceleration of Independence

Congress mocked John Adams when they read his personal diary aloud

Aaron Burr once ate ice cream too quickly, got a brain freeze, and then thought he was dying

Thomas Jefferson had a ram that he called “this abominable animal”, the ram attacked and hospitalized some pedestrians and killed a small boy. The ram was killed only after it killed some of Jefferson’s other rams

George Washington literally started the French and Indian War

Thomas Jefferson designed a macaroni machine and invented the first swivel chair

George Washington was given the highest rank in the US military. When he died, he was only a two star general. Over the years after his death, more stars were added to his title; he now has six stars. By law, no one can ever outrank him

Marquis de Lafayette was convinced to join the American Revolution by King George III’s brother

John Adams died on the 4th of July, 1826. His last words were, “Thomas Jefferson still survives.” He was sooo wrong, Jefferson died around 5 hours before Adams on exactly the same day

Aaron Burr tried to light a candle with gunpowder. He failed, caught himself on fire, then tried again. Burr was literally a human disaster

Alexander Hamilton had a pay book during the Revolutionary War. In the pay book, he wrote about “how in ancient Rome…naked young noblemen whipped young, married women during the celebration of Lupercalia” to help conception, and how orgies helped make “married women more robust and capable of vigorous offspring” To say he was busy during the war is an understatement

Both of James Madison’s Vice-Presidents died during his presidency

Marie Antoinette, knowing that Lafayette was clumsy, invited him to dance. Nervous, he tripped and she laughed at him in front of everyone

rannellstan

^ i don’t know if i’m more marie antoinette or lafayette

lunarviolets

some moments from history i really like:

that time a bunch of pissed hamilton worshipers drew a cartoon where napolean’s head was drawn on a bee, and he is stinging the butt of a dog with thomas jefferson’s head on it, as said thomas jefferson’s head pukes coins. the jeffy-dog hybrid has a very clearly drawn dog penis.

ben franklin was “indiscreetly talktative” when he was an old dude and so ppl literally paid to have someone accompany him places to make sure he didn’t say weird shit

how the american citizens all tolerated john adams as president with “respectful irritation”

john adams was so proud of himself for not getting the usa fucked in a global war that he wanted “here lies john adams, who took it upon himself the responsibility of peace with france in the year 1800″ on his tombstone. this did not happen.

thomas jefferson, while president, was apparently notorious for always recieving callers in rlly sloppy clothes. he would answer the door to important political figures in his nightgown and lil slippies. for realsies.

witchofeindor

So I found this cool website for learning ancient languages

go wild

hot-firebender-archive

holy fuck

twilight-blossom

I just did a quick perusal of the Coptic resources on this site, and it has all the resources I’ve personally found worthwhile and then some. These are resources that took me months, if not years, to discover and compile. I am thoroughly impressed. The other languages featured on the site are:

Akkadian

Arabic

Aramaic

Church Slavonic

Egyptian (hieroglyphics and Demotic)

Elamite

Ethiopic (Ge’ez)

Etruscan

Gaulish

Georgian

Gothic

Greek