coughing artist vs hydrogen phd work

main blog with multifandom musings (currently: fallout, the pitt) | 23 | queer | autistic | she/they | NONSHARING selfshipper!!! | extremely disgruntled PhD student | writer and artist | 18+ to follow!! pokemon blog: @definitely-not-outlet

[a-power-outlet]

The Directory

Blog Info:

Intro Post / About Me

pokemon sideblog: @definitely-not-outlet

Sharing Boundaries

technically Minors DNF (do not follow)

TAG DIRECTORY!!

my personal/selfship strawpage

Ao3, where my fics are posted first!

Fallout Selfship Masterpost

[twiceasbright]

celebrating you

Pairing: Ryland Grace x Reader

Words: 3.9k

Summary: Ryland doesn’t know it’s his birthday, but you do. And you’re not going to let this opportunity go to waste.

Tags: no use of y/n, gender neutral reader, fluff, birthday shenanigans, love confessions (sorta), first kiss, ryland is a crybaby, some mentions of it being a suicide mission, but mostly just lots of fluff

A/N: my first ryland fic!!! i’ve seen the movie 5 times now AND read the book so it’s safe to say i’m hooked lol. this is just smth soft to get my writing juices flowing, but i’ve got lots of inspo :) if there is anything you’d like me to write for him, any suggestions or requests, please feel free to ask! my inbox is open and i’d love to see what ideas yall have <3

The day starts like any other. Ryland wakes up in his just-slightly-too-uncomfortable bed aboard the Hail Mary, and Rocky’s there. Watching him sleep. Like always. The weirdness of the arrangement has long since worn off, and the sight of the alien brings a smile to his face. 

“Hello, Grace. Sleep well, question?” The computerized voice rings out through the room, Rocky’s melodic tones a beautiful accompaniment.

“Hey, pal,” he grunts, the effects of sleep still lingering in his voice. Pushing himself to a sitting position, he lets out a yawn and stretches his arms up above his head. The satisfying pops of his back make him sigh. “Not too bad. Better than usual. Maybe this is a sign that things are turning around for us.”

Ryland turns to where your bed is, only a foot or so from his, to see if his joke made you laugh. It’s embarrassing how often this happens. How many times he’s said something stupid for the sole purpose of seeing you smile. It’s turned into an epidemic these last few months—he can’t stop doing things just to make you happy. He’s pretty sure there’s nothing he wouldn’t do, honestly.

Your bed is empty, and that’s the first sign that something’s off.

The little crew of the Hail Mary had fallen into a routine these past few weeks. You and Ryland sleep at the same time, beds pushed close together, while Rocky watches. It’s just smart to do it that way. Saves time, keeps everyone together and protected, allows for optimal productivity time. Plus, he’s pretty sure you both sleep better knowing the other is close by.

You usually wake up before him, but you always stay until he’s up. You read or talk to Rocky or scribble in a notepad. No matter what it is, you stay. And then Ryland wakes, and everyone gets ready to start their day.

It’s not like you can’t start the day without him. He’s not controlling or needy like that. You’re a grown person who can do whatever you want. And that’s totally fine! He respects that!

It’s just… the principle of the thing. The throwing off of his entire routine by this small deviation.

And maybe he likes waking up to you, but that’s besides the point!

His brows furrow, and his arms drop to his sides like dead weight. “Where’s [____]?”

Rocky’s claws click and clack together, similar to a human wringing their hands. He shifts from one foot to another, thunking against the Xenonite. “Mm. [____]... busy. Very busy. Grace Rocky stay here and wait for [____].”

That makes him pause. He’s been around this guy long enough to pick up on his behavior, and right now he seems pretty flustered. It’s not normal. None of this is normal. It’s kind of starting to freak him out.

“What are you talking about?” He reaches for his glasses resting on the makeshift nightstand and slips them on. “Busy with what? What’s going on, Rock?”

“Nothing going on! Normal day here. Everything normal,” He tilts his carapace up and down slowly, like emphasizing something you’re explaining to a small child. Ryland presses his lips into a thin line. “Grace tired, question? Sleep more, question?”

He shoves the blankets off his body and throws his legs over the side of the bed. Something suspicious is afoot, and he’s going to get to the bottom of it. “No sleep more, statement. I’m gonna figure out why you’re being weird.”

The moment he stands and heads towards the door, Rocky clamors after him through his tunnel. “Rocky not weird! Rocky normal. Grace stay here!”

Ryland ignores him and continues on towards the main area of the ship. The Eridian follows him the whole way, spewing a concoction of musical notes and computerized speech. It all goes in one ear and out the other. He’s got investigating to do.

He’s a middle school teacher, for Pete’s sake. He knows when something’s fishy.

He turns the corner, walks through the doorway, and freezes.

You’re in there—as he thought you would be—and you’re in the middle of hanging up a… banner? It’s homemade, based on the scribbled handwriting and the uneven way it’s been cut out. It looks like it might be—yep. It’s pages from one of the old manuals stapled together. He’s gotta give you points for resourcefulness.

It’s only after he’s made these observations that he decides to actually read what the banner says. His heart instantly leaps into his throat.

‘Happy Birthday, Ryland!’

The words are written in your beautifully familiar handwriting, decorated with the three (3) different colored pens that are on the ship. 

His name. On the banner that you made. With your own hands. He can’t stop staring at the way you’ve curled the ‘y’. Is it crazy to describe it as exquisite?

You glance over then, finally noticing that you’ve got company. As soon as you spot Ryland, your eyes go wide. And then they shift to the alien, standing oddly still in his tunnel.

“Rocky!” You exclaim, resting your hands on your hips. “You said you could keep him occupied until I was done!”

“Rocky tried! Grace no listen, too stubborn. Grace ruin big surprise, ruin Grace birthday. Bad bad bad.”

The comment makes a pretty smile form around your lips. Shaking your head, you turn your attention back to Ryland. He doesn’t have anything to say. He’s still trying to recover from the banner, and—wait. It’s his birthday?

“Welp. I guess the cat’s out of the bag,” you sigh. Your arms spread out, making a giant V towards the banner. “Happy birthday, Ryland!”

“Happy birthday, Grace! We celebrate you today!” Rocky echoes the sentiment, doing his jazz hands, and it feels like Ryland’s getting the biggest, warmest metaphorical group hug.

“You- wait-” he huffs, half smiling and half still-confused, “how do you know what day my birthday is? How do you know it’s today? I don’t even know what day today is.”

That makes you turn sheepish, pursing your lips and dropping your gaze. You shrug, and he swears he can see a tinge of pink on your cheeks. It turns his stomach into jelly. You’re so gosh darn pretty.

“It’s in the records, the stuff they have about you. And then I… I did the math, with some help from Rocky and Mary. It’s today, I promise,” you explain. You look up at him again, and put the final nail in his coffin. “I’ve been counting down for weeks.”

His heart feels like it’s going to lurch out of his chest. It’s a familiar sensation, but one that only you can elicit from him. The effect you have on him could be studied, he’s sure. He’s thought about doing it himself.

He wants to kiss you. He wants to marry you. He wants to sweep you up in his arms and carry you off to happily ever after. But he doesn’t do any of these things, because you’re just friends. Friends in the middle of space, currently on a suicide mission, but still.

Just friends.

His vision blurs then, and it takes him an embarrassingly long time to realize it’s tears welling in his eyes. He sheds his glasses, scrubs at his face, but it’s too late. He can feel wet tracks down his cheeks. How embarrassing. The last thing he wants to do is blubber like a baby in front of you. Of course, that’s exactly what he does.

“Grace face leaking. Not like surprise, question?” Rocky asks.

“No, bud. I like it. I like it a lot,” he responds. “It’s just-”

He stops again, a wet laugh escaping his throat. He’s always been a crier. It’s something he’s not very happy about at the moment. Not when he can feel your eyes on him, boring into his very soul.

Ryland clears his throat and tries again. “This is just so nice. Probably the- the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

“You deserve nice things.” Your voice draws his attention back to you. You’re smiling at him, something small and warm. Your hands wring the bottom of your t-shirt over and over. “Especially on your birthday. We want to celebrate you.”

“Yes. [____] explain human birthday custom. Rocky like. Want to celebrate Grace friend birth.”

“Aw, shucks, guys,” he chuckles, swiping the tears away. “You’re the sweetest crewmates a guy could ask for. Thank you. Really, thank you so much.”

You move towards him, arms open for a hug. There’s not a single world in which he would turn that down. He pulls you to him, wrapping you in his embrace and holding tight. Your warmth envelops him instantly; your scent fills his nose and turns his brain to static. He seriously can’t fathom the things you do to him without even trying.

“Happy Birthday, Ry,” you say, burying your face in his neck. It sends shivers across his skin.

“Thank you, [____],” he murmurs. Neither of you moves to let go. There’s a scuttling, surely Rocky in his tunnel, and then it’s gone. It’s just the two of you now. “I can’t believe you made me a banner.”

“There’s party hats, too.”

That makes him laugh. A loud, full-body laugh. It rumbles in his chest and vibrates between you. “Of course there is.”

Rocky appears again, rolling across the white floor in his ball. He stops in front of the two of you. “Rocky join birthday hug, question?”

You finally pull away to look at the Eridian, and Ryland follows suit. He pretends not to miss your warmth. Pretends like he doesn’t want to tug you back into the embrace. Instead, he smiles.

“Of course. Get in here, pal!”

He chitters excitedly and rolls his ball into Ryland’s leg. You both chuckle and crouch down to be at his level. It becomes a group hug, then. You, Ryland, and a big Xenonite ball. It’s awkward, but you make it work.

And Ryland wouldn’t want it any other way.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

The birthday festivities continue. True to your word, there are party hats. One for each of you, and all uniquely decorated for its owner. He almost keels over when he sees you in yours. This whole thing is all too much for his poor heart.

The three of you play games. There’s trivia, with Ryland-centric questions, which you win by a landslide. It does things to him to see how much you know about him. He’s so flustered that he can barely get a word out the entire game. You and Rocky don’t seem to mind, though.

Neither does he. He’s just fine watching you two have fun.

He tears up again when you give him his presents. 

Rocky made a very tasteful model of the three of you out of Xenonite. You and Ryland pose with Rocky between you, standing tall and proud. There’s no ball in the figure, just him. You’re all pressed together as tight as you can be. It’s immediately one of Ryland’s prized possessions.

Once he’s gotten past the lump in his throat and has stopped hugging Rocky, you give him your gift. Which just brings on another round of trying not to bawl his eyes out in front of his friends.

You’ve given him a little handmade book, and the cover proudly states ‘Top 10 Ryland Grace In Space Moments.’ He wastes no time in flipping it open. It’s exactly what he thought it would be, and better than he could have ever imagined. Each page details something he’s done while on the ship, while the adjacent page shows an insanely detailed drawing of the event.

They are, unfortunately, not the moments in space he’d like to be remembered by. They’re all varying degrees of embarrassing. From tripping over his own feet and faceplanting on the lab floor to solving an equation wrong and ruining the compound he’d been working on via (mini) explosion. It’s all his worst moments right before his eyes, but every pen stroke emanates fondness.

This isn’t someone making fun of him or being cruel. This is someone appreciating him, down to even his most stupid mistakes.

He cries, because of course he does. And it gets worse once he turns to the last page.

‘Moment #1’, the page states. And directly under that, you’ve written: ‘giving us hope that this will all be worth it.’ The drawing paired with it is simple and overwhelmingly sweet. It’s just him, caught in the middle of a laugh with a hand on his stomach. His eyes are scrunched shut, mouth agape, and he looks so happy.

It doesn’t feel genuine, but he knows that it is. This is how you see him. This is who he is to you. He doesn’t deserve it. You have no idea how much he doesn’t deserve any of this.

“This is…” he looks up to meet your gaze, hating that he has to blink away tears in the process. “[____], this is too much. How did you do this?”

You shrug one shoulder, the movement illuminating the glittering of your own eyes. Guess he’s not the only emotional one, then. “I went back through all the video logs until I found the moment I was looking for. Traced the frame I wanted onto the page. It’s not the most creative, but I think it gets the point across.”

A smart idea, and one that would require a tremendous amount of work. Ryland can’t believe you’ve put so much effort into this, into celebrating him. No one’s ever done anything remotely close in his entire life.

He sets the book down and pulls you into another hug. You melt against him instantly, and he’s pretty sure he can feel you shaking a bit. You’re both crying. You keep accidentally sniffling in sync. It’d be funny if he weren’t so unbelievably touched right now.

“Thank you,” he whispers against your hair. He doesn’t know what else he can say. None of the words coming to mind will get the point across. But he has to try, regardless. “You give me hope. It’s the only reason I keep going.”

Something almost like a whimper leaves your throat, and you hold tighter to him. He doesn’t mind one bit.

“Grace like gifts! Birthday celebration successful, question?” Rocky’s voice slices through the moment, and Ryland feels like he’s been dunked in cold water.

You both pull away and wipe at your faces. The air is thick and heavy between the two of you, although that’s indiscernible to the alien. Not to Ryland, though. His heart is hammering in his chest and he can’t seem to look back over at you.

He nods, unable to keep the smile off his face. “Very successful. This is the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

It’s true. Despite everything, this is his favorite birthday memory. How fitting that it’ll probably be his last.

Rocky shifts excitedly and chirps. “Happy happy happy.”

“We did an awesome job, bud,” you compliment him, patting the Xenonite ball right over his carapace. “Thank you for your help.”

“Rocky happy to help. [____] doesn’t need to thank.”

“Well, I’m doing it anyway,” you argue, and both Ryland and Rocky know there’s no point in trying to change your mind. The alien just lets out a grunt.

Ryland smiles at his little makeshift family. There’s nobody else in the world universe that he’d rather be with.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

Rocky announces that he needs to sleep a few hours later, and the group migrates to the bedroom. Someone has to keep watch, after all. He falls asleep quickly, going stone-still (pun intended), and you and Ryland sit squashed together on his bed. Your legs hang off the side, knee knocking softly into his. It’s a familiar touch—comfortable.

It still makes him feel like he’s having heart palpitations. At least Rocky’s not awake to comment on his ‘elevated heart rate.’

“So, you had a good birthday?” You ask after a few minutes of silence. It’s ridiculous that you even feel the need to ask. 

He gives you a deadpan look. “You know I did.”

“Okay, well, I just wanted to make sure,” you shoot back, raising your hands in surrender. A teasing glimmer lights up your eyes. “I know it’s not the most extravagant, but I tried my best.”

“You did more than that,” he murmurs. He hates how serious he sounds. How clear it is what you mean to him. “You’ve given me everything.”

Your cheeks tinge pink, and you drop your gaze. He almost takes it back out of sheer panic, terrified that he crossed the line between ‘friend’ and ‘more than a friend’ you two have been toeing. But you speak up before he has the chance to make himself an even bigger fool.

“Is it okay if I give you one more thing, on top of the everything?”

Ryland’s stomach somersaults. What more could you possibly have to give? He’s torn between being curious and terrified. It’s usually how he feels around you. Like he’s being torn apart in the best, most uncontrollable way.

“Depends on what it is,” he tries to joke. It doesn’t come out right. You’re nice enough not to tease him about it.

Fishing around in your pocket for a moment, you produce a single unlit birthday candle. Where or how you got it, he has no idea. But he can’t say he’s surprised. You’re capable enough to get anything you want. Always willing to put in the work for it.

You hold it up for him, smiling in that kinda shy way that leaves him speechless. “You can’t have a birthday without making a birthday wish.”

He opens his mouth to speak, and then shuts it. He has no idea what to say. Hence the ‘speechless.’

You pretend to light it, holding an invisible lighter to the wick. It’s astoundingly adorable to watch. “Go on, Ryland. Make your wish.”

A million possibilities flash through his mind. A million things he could ask for. To go home, to not die, to save Earth and Erid, to find the solution to their problem. They’re all good options; all things he could (and should) wish for. But he doesn’t.

Because you’re looking at him, eyes bright and big, and you’re smiling. And you’re in space on a suicide mission, and you made him a banner for his birthday. You have every reason to be miserable, but you aren’t. You make him smile every single day. That’s enough for him.

He closes his eyes, makes his wish, and pretends to blow out the flame. When his eyes open again, it’s to meet your gaze.

“What’d you wish for?” You ask, squirming excitedly next to him.

Ryland chuckles, “Well, I can’t tell you, or it won’t come true.”

“Come onnnnn. You’re no fun.” Rolling your eyes, you knock his shoulder with your own. “Can I tell you what I wished for, then?”

“What you wished for?” He questions, raising an eyebrow. “How come you get a wish on my birthday?”

“Because I’m special.”

Well. He can’t argue with that. “Fine. Go ahead.”

“I wished…” You begin, letting out a breath. You keep your eyes on your lap, picking at the skin around your nails, “to spend the rest of my life by your side. Even if that looks like floating through space all by ourselves until we run out of food. I’ll take it. As long as we’re together.”

The words settle between the two of you like a heavy blanket. Ryland’s breath catches in his throat.

I love you. I love you so much. More than anything. All I need is you.

He wants to say it. He wants to say anything, but it feels like he’s frozen in place. His body’s lost all function, leaving him a useless shell. All he can do is stare at you. Because he’s an idiot.

“That’s not- I hope that wasn’t too much,” you speak again. His silence is making you antsy, worried you’d gone too far. “I just, I don’t know. I think I’m just feeling sappy because it’s your birthday. I didn’t mean to get all poetic. Sorry.”

“Can I-” his voice dies mid-sentence, fear making him silent. He shakes his head, swallows, and tries again. He needs to do this. He can’t keep letting the time pass him by. “Can I kiss you? Please.”

You look at him like he’s the sun. As if he were something to be admired, someone meaningful. No one’s ever looked at him like that. No one’s ever cared like that. Not until you.

He’s not worthy of you, but he’s too selfish to let you go. Let that be his curse. He’ll gladly walk into Hell if that’s what it takes to keep you in his life. He’s always been a coward; this is something he won’t back down from.

“You can do whatever you want, Ryland,” you whisper. All of the air leaves his lungs.

He will never, as long as he lives, get enough of you. And he doesn’t want to.

Ryland grabs his glasses from where they hang off his right ear and drops them onto his nightstand. Then he takes your face in his hands, thumbs stroking your cheeks, and kisses you. You return the kiss, thank goodness, and your lips are so soft against his.

It’s amazing. More than he could have ever thought possible. The feeling of you against him, the way his stomach twists as you scoot closer. Your warmth, your taste, your skin. It envelops him and takes him far, far away.

He didn’t know it could be like this. He had no idea this feeling—the euphoria, the desire, the joy—existed. It shouldn’t have been possible to experience such a thrill.

It’s because it’s you. He knows that. Only you could do something like this.

The two of you finally break apart when your lungs begin to burn, but you don’t go far. He rests his forehead against yours, the tips of your noses brushing. Every graze of skin is just shy of too much. His body is burning. His heart beats erratically against his ribcage.

“I want to give you your wish,” Ryland finally says, once he’s decided he can trust his voice. His hands are still on your face. They rest against your jaw, light and comforting. “I want you with me. Always. Please stay with me.”

He can feel you move as you nod. “I’ll stay. Always. There’s nowhere else for me.”

It overwhelms him. All of it—he’s so grateful that he can hardly breathe. He pulls you into his arms, into his lap, and holds you as close as he can. His head tucks into the crook of your neck, nose against your clavicle. He’s probably going to cry again. You don’t seem to mind, though.

Your hands card through his hair. Your chest moves against him as you breathe. He can hear the beat of your heart. It feels like home. It feels like this is where Ryland was always meant to be.

A smile spreads across his lips. Who’d have thought the happiest day of his life would be like this?

[alexxuun]

Biblically accurate Ryland Grace from Ryan Gosling himself.

[altorinaart]

«A Patchwork of Hope» 👎

[emziess]

Lab Partners Project Hail Mary (2026) dir. Phil Lord, Chris Miller

[halethleia]

everybody: hello ryland you are now the Main Character ryland: Yikes!! No Thanks!

[carmahnart]

Hey y’all I have an announcement! My web app that I’ve been working on, Afro Index, is now live! It’s a visual reference library of Black hairstyles, for artist, animators, writers, and anyone who wants to learn more about them!

Check it out at afroindex.org! 💛✨

Afro Index – Black Hairstyle Reference Library

A reference library for Black hairstyles with accurate naming, structured filtering, and curated reference images.

[a-power-outlet]

realizing i'm not meant to write canon rewrites and instead i can only write increasingly distant AUs such as dude ranch AU

[a-power-outlet]

sadly i don't think i will actually go ahead with the canon rewrite bc i'm utterly sucked into my AU for the vaults where the experiment is completely different. aka i'm recycling the experiment idea i had from The Great Experiment for use in this. it's a good idea, it can't go to waste!!

[a-power-outlet]

realizing i'm not meant to write canon rewrites and instead i can only write increasingly distant AUs such as dude ranch AU

[scarletjohansson]

Taylor Dearden as DR. MELISSA KING

THE PITT | 2.10 4:00 P.M.

[boasamishipper]

becca king who has an active sex life and a boyfriend and wants to be independent and not infantilized and known first and foremost as 'becca' and not 'mel's sister'...............mel king who has structured her entire life around becca's needs and care and being 'becca's sister', even moving to pittsburgh specifically because becca got into an independent living center there, now not knowing what to do or who she is if becca is keeping secrets from her and no longer needs her..............pitt writers you are cooking with gas

[bubscreations]

Fallout (TV) Characters If they Had Pokémon!

Lucy Maclean & Pikachu:

Maximus & Eevee:

The Ghoul/Cooper Howard & Shiny Mightyena (Which is supposed to be Dogmeat!):

Thaddeus & Trubbish:

Dane & Houndoom:

Norm & Shinx:

Closeups:

[a-power-outlet]

inhales deeply so i got sidetracked and wrote a self indulgent fic about ronnie. but i'm still chipping away at my prequel and s2 rewrite fic. i dunno if i want to post them simultaneously? maybe? i don't know. lol. we'll see?

[a-power-outlet]

from my perspective i honestly think that in the fallout space (especially the show) we need to realize that everyone sucks. and then use this realization to not disproportionally punish the POC in the show for being human and flawed like the other (white) characters.

maximus is hated for a lot of reasons. "he is so boring and things just happen to him" "he's lied to lucy, therefore he is an awful terrible person and should die alone" "he's terrible for lucy and she's so uncomfortable with him!" the ghoul has cut her finger off. the ghoul has also lied about far worse things. the ghoul's omission of truth had lucy walking into a legion camp. maximus is disproportionally hated because of race.

so then people call this out, but in the same breath call ronnie a predator. "he's an aggressive assertive predator that trounces over people's boundaries", "he deserved to die in that room because he assaulted norm". but, have we considered norm woke 40 people up and got them killed (dubiously, but still) for his own selfish desire (to stay alive)? how does norm not suck, but ronnie does?

tbh, i think it's fair to say that all fallout characters suck and it's what makes them interesting humans. they all have backstories and lives outside of the show's plotline. some things are not explicitly told, but shown by other parts of the show.

in the case of ronnie and norm, we have to flip the scripts. imagine being a worker before the war and thinking you're safe, only to be woken up by a random man 200 years later and told you're trapped underground. you're told your boss, who promised safety, is dead. you're now on an aimless mission to try and fulfill the few scraps of details you were given.

ronnie is reasonably upset at norm for compromising the lives of ~30 people. he's scared of living in this world he didn't sign up for, and was manipulated into. in trying to protect himself and the others, he attacks norm. he tries to exclude norm and gets everyone attacked.

that's not great, sure. but why can't he get the same sympathy as other characters who have done far worse than trying to protect their own? why do people not recognize the fear in his eyes at everything they'd planned falling apart? is it because the show didn't explicitly tell you his motivation? is it because he, too, is a man of color?

i don't know, to be honest. i think a huge part is that the final cut just doesn't have the time/space to give you backstory on the 31s. they did too much with too little time. or maybe we're not meant to give a shit about the 31s. but then why wasn't ronnie shown to be dead? why was clark missing? these are characters they're keeping open ended and god i hope they get the redemption that steph did, just a glimpse at what made them who they are. if that's what it takes to humanize these characters, then so be it.

but then again, the sexism towards steph and other morally dubious women (which is compounded with racism in the case of barb and betty) is a whole different topic.

i just hope that people realize that the show's characters are complex. characters we see as evil, we become sympathetic towards (moldaver). they haven't shown us anyone truly evil, but i think that will come with the enclave...

[a-power-outlet]

would u guys make fun of me if i admitted i have a real (romatic) soft spot for ronnie mccurtry bc i think he's genuinely misunderstood by fandom rn and he deserves better.....

[a-power-outlet]

if you think of ronnie from an unbiased (NOT NORM'S) POV, he's the assistant of the guy running this whole program and therefore the only one who knows what's going on and what's supposed to go on.

the way that clark reacts has me thinking that they all know the basics (one of them thaws every 30 ish years to marry a dweller in the vault, and maybe that the whole thing is an aim at making genetically engineered humans). however, ronnie knows an extra layer, and ronnie feels responsible to keep that in line. his boss is DEAD and ronnie is the failsafe.

there's something also to be said about their families all being dead. the 31s don't have anyone but each other. they watched the bombs drop and woke up 200 years later scared and confused. ronnie, to me, is protecting the only people he has left, the only people he knows and can trust.

when you aren't biased by the perspective of norm, which i was and still sorta am, ronnie's actions make sense and even become a little sympathetic. he isn't a predator, he isn't out to get norm specifically. he wants to protect the only friends he has left. norm clearly doesn't trust him and wants to stay in control himself, but he was actively lying to 40 ish people like obviously he is going to get caught. norm, too, is not this unflawed man, he's just the main character of this POV.

and tbh, when you think about norm deceiving the 31s and possibly compromising their lives (aka getting them killed), i can understand wanting to take him down. norm being around them is a risk. do they even know he's from 33, or did he steal the suit? imo the normplot is really a "ESH/Everyone Sucks Here", norm is just the main character so people think he can't do anything wrong.

before anyone says it, i'm not trying to justify anyone's actions. i just think norm and ronnie both suck. i'd be mad too if someone lied to me and woke me up before i was supposed to, probably getting me killed in the process.

imo, if ronnie was in a situation outside of.... this, i genuinely think he'd be like the first time we see him. overly friendly, maybe a little intimidating because of his stature, but not malicious. he winks at norm, he thinks norm is in on the experiment. he's shady to a viewer, yeah, but we're always biased. in actuality he's just a friendly and outgoing guy. he only snaps in the radio scene, because ronnie realizes norm's not in on it, and that they may be compromised. their lives, now, are in danger.

ronnie does not care about claudia, except that she's not able to be trusted. he is not jealous of norm and claudia, he is scared they will compromise everything. if you were frozen for 200 years, wouldn't you be scared? he was prepared for one thing to happen, one plan. and now the plan is off the rails and he's struggling to keep everyone together.

i genuinely hope he comes back in some capacity, but i don't trust anyone to understand him correctly. right now he's just the big scary guy who beat up poor defenseless norm, but if you actually stop and think, he's more than that. still morally dubious, yes, but making him downright evil and stupid is just slander of his character.

ronnie is cunning, yes. ronnie is also manipulative, yes. he definitely made up that you can kill someone impersonating a manager. so ronnie can, in fact, be some sort of villain figure in the story. NO ONE in fallout is a good person. people just don't get that right now, he's trying to do his job, which he was told would keep him alive. that's what motivates him, staying alive and keeping the 31s alive. his friends, the only people he knows by name.

and if keeping them alive meant subduing norm, i can't really blame him.

i sincerely hope he didn't fully fail at this mission. his body was never shown, so i have a little bit of hope. clark was also straight up missing. there's so much opportunity here that they can miss by sidelining this plot. and they have missed it, i think.

[goldleafer]

[houseofpurplestars]

Hoping for maximus content on tumblr like when the fridge is empty but you're so desperate you just keep opening it and staring like food might appear