Hanniballs

If we dont know eachother call me Freddie - Old enough to have lived through the change of millenium, young enough to have no memory of it - Usually iel / they (Careful, there's Hannibal stuff here, don't hesitate to ask me to tag !)

[spookberry]

Was reminded of my old monster Cinderella x Snow White story and felt like redesigning them a bit

[perlukafarinn]

my sister's garden 🥰🌺🍃

[transgambit]

what is the truth

[comedyke-deactivated20171209]

they’re married you asshole

[transgambit]

u right, my bad

[h0odierich-deactivated20170708]

[what-ever-what-ever-what-ever]

thats their lesbian daughter

[the-tired-opossum]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[flower-seeks-the-moon]

my favorite ao3 writers be like this

[brostateexam]

[sisterreisaid]

[kipzkitsch]

Guy on tiktok who got 300 likes on their last post voice: ugh my video flopped

Guy on tumblr who just got 2 likes and 1 reblog voice: I'm da king of da highway babey

[doubleca5t]

Supermassive Black Hole lends itself to soundtracking one thing and one thing alone and that is a strip club. Supermassive Black Hole is the most perfect strip club rock song I've ever heard. I've heard rock songs *about* strip clubs that feel less suited to a strip club than Supermassive Black Hole. I have heard songs where sex is explicitly described in the lyrics that feel less sexy than Supermassive Black Hole. Supermassive Black Hole is a song so disgustingly, flagrantly, enticingly slutty that I sometimes feel legitimately shocked that it was made by a band that most people make fun of for sounding like if Radiohead sold out after their first album. It is a crowning achievement in stripper music that may never be topped in our lifetime. It is best known for soundtracking the scene in the first Twilight movie where they play baseball.

[kowabungadoodles]

This came on my work playlist the other day and a teen immediately asked me why I was playing "The Twilight Music".

[electionsmistertumbler]

FINALE — Lequel mérite le titre de Mister Tumblr ? (Propagande juste en dessous)

Obélix (Astérix et Obélix)

Gaston Lagaffe (Gaston Lagaffe)

Remaining time: 19 hours 37 minutes

Propagande Obélix : Il est grand il est fort il est généreux il est doux avec les animaux et violent avec les romains et surtout surtout il ferait n'importe quoi pour son Astérix

Propagande Gaston :

d'âge indéfini, éternel stagiaire et inventeur de génie, il est à la fois un loser et suffisament compétent pour capturer le coeur des utilisateurices de tumblr. en plus son pull trop court fait un peu comme un crop top jsp ce que vous voulez de plus.

Amoureux de la nature, des animaux aux cactus, mélomane qui a inventé son propre instrument, cuisinier au talents variés, travailleur qui fait respecter ses droits, chimiste révolutionnaire et inventeur incompris, et il est gentleman !

Gaston sait passer un bon moment avec sa petite amie, voyez donc son sourire :) Pensez donc, une relation où ils sont tous les deux heureux parce qu'il fait un scoubidou dans ses cheveux, si c'est pas beau ça (page complète ici sur @daily-gaston)

[decarabiat]

n'oublie jamais : love wins

[marcusrashforddefender]

ideal ending to this wc:

argentina are leading 2-0 vs england. at 83’, kobbie mainoo and marcus rashford are subbed on. rashford sinks two in before 90’, and kobbie wins the game with a banger in stoppage time.

france annihilate spain 5-0. mbappe hatty, dembele and doue each score one. olise gets a hatty of assists.

france and england meet in the final. donald trump is at the game. harry kane gets sent off in the second minute. another mbappe hatty. england are goalless. trump has to hand the trophy to woke kylian mbappe, who refuses to shake trump’s wrinkly decaying hand.

woke wins.

[muttsandmustelidae]

[k-wame]

unserious gossip account 😭

[almightaylor]

I think i’ve seen this film before

[almightaylor]

I think i’ve seen this film before

[ellie-andthemachine]

My heart is so fucking broken right now 😭

Sam Neill passed today 7/13. FML.

[noob-handler]

Gooseworx didn't deactivate, she was banned

Recently, you cannot access Gooseworx's blog anymore, and people thought she deactivated her Tumblr. However, she was actually banned. When someone deactivates their main blog, a string of numbers and letters is attached to their username: "-deactivated[year][month][day]"

When you look at posts made by Gooseworx, there's no "deactivated" and no numbers

Some speculate that this might have been a sideblog, since there's no "deactivated" string if you delete a sideblog, but it was her main blog. You can't use sideblogs to like posts. If you search "Gooseworx liked this" on google, you will find proof ithat she liked multiple Tumblr posts.

All of this adds up to one thing: Gooseworx was banned from Tumblr. And why? Gooseworx is a trans woman, and Tumblr staff hates trans women and bans them for no reason, and also, there is an ongoing harassment campaign against Gooseworx, so I bet they must have mass-reported her blog and gotten her banned. Fuck the "tadc critical" community, anyone in the "anti tadc" or "anti gooseworx" tags is NOT to be trusted!!!!!! They weaponized staff's transmisogyny to ban a successful trans woman off the platform all because the show didn't end the way they wanted it to.

[json-derulo]

the past three weeks in a row, partner has gone to chipotle and been served by the same employee who, in bold defiance of the testimony of his own eyes and ears, ardently refuses to believe carnitas exist

[json-derulo]

partner: “Hi, could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and carnitas?”

employee (completely blank expression): “No.”

partner (autistic) (socialscript.exe encountered an unhandled exception) : “…Uh. Um. Sorry?”

employee: “We don’t have that.”

partner (wondering if perhaps he put too much of the authentic accent on the word and that’s what’s throwing the guy): “You don’t have…(pronouncing it whiter) carnitas?”

employee (face still unreadable): “No.”

partner (looking at the near-full hotel pan of perfectly normal carnitas in its usual place on the other side of the glass) (noticing this employee looks unfamiliar) (maybe he’s a new guy that just started five minutes ago with no training?) : “The…pork?” (pointing at it)

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (beginning to wonder if he’s the one that’s losing it) (desperately looks to the menu on the wall behind the employee) (the menu lists carnitas as a protein option) (the word “carnitas” is not crossed out or taped over or otherwise adulterated) (carnitas have been on the standard menu since at least 2016) : “Okay. Um. Are you…sure?”

other employee working the toppings part of the line (familiar) (have seen her before) (she has cool earrings): *gives the new guy a strange look, nudges him aside, and scoops the carnitas onto partner’s bowl before continuing with the other toppings*

Repeat conversation again the next week. And the next. Same guy. If it’s a bit, no one is laughing, including the employee.

[json-derulo]

theories I’ve considered:

- the employee keeps very strictly kosher/halal/vegan and refuses to handle pork (understandable, I respect that, but if you’re gonna work at a place that serves pork I do kinda feel like when someone orders it you’ve just gotta tap in a coworker to do it for you)

- someone did something gross to the carnitas and the employee is trying to warn people not to order it (??? throw it out then? also, three weeks in a row???)

- the employee is a space alien who views humans as so similar to pigs that for us to eat them is tantamount to cannibalism

[json-derulo]

- the employee is the lead in a kdrama romance about a pampered, clueless chaebol heir who is sent by his father to work in the company’s restaurants for a year in order to prove he’s ready to take over as CEO. he’s dumb as rocks but they can’t fire him or even correct him that harshly due to the power gradient. partner is just a minor reoccurring character, and the interaction is kept the same from week to week to highlight the development of the relationship between the employee and his love interest with the cool earrings (even if the restaurant is literally a fully-branded Chipotle, that’s somehow still not enough product placement for me to believe this is a real kdrama)

[json-derulo]

After reviewing again with partner, evidently I forgot a detail that set this week’s carnitas denial dance apart from the others.

partner (well aware of what he’s getting into with this guy now): “Hi. Could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and pork?”

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (demonstrating a level of patience only a public school teacher could have): *points at the pan of carnitas* “Could I please just have some of that?”

employee (after several slow, confused blinks): *points at the same pan* “That’s steak.”

partner (looking at the hotel pan they’re both pointing at) (it is filled with shredded meat of a pale beige color) (at the other end of the row of pans is another pan containing dark brown, lightly charred meat chopped into small pieces): “Okay.” *deciding he’s willing to play in this fantasy space if it gets the job done, he points at the first pan again* Then could I please have the steak?”

employee: *starts to reach for the pan at the other end containing the actual steak*

partner: "Oh—no, sorry, this one please?" *points at the first pan containing the carnitas*

employee: *blinks, then just walks away and starts helping the next customer in line, leaving partner's bowl unfinished*

other employee with cool earrings: *rolls her eyes at new employee, takes partner’s bowl, and fills it with carnitas herself*

new theories:

- the employee is a bridge troll who will only dole out his delectable carnitas to those who prove themselves worthy by correctly answering his riddles three

- the employee is stoned out of his mind at all times on a specific strain of weed that totally erases the concept of pork from his memory and awareness

[audhdspacewizard]

My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “pork eraser” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw some steak in the hotel pan

My buddy Phillip pacing: Chipotle upper management is lying to us