22, aquarius, intp, A POET, artist, so obviously mentally unstable...
also a pharmaceautical sciences student,
Obsession? dark academia aesthetic,
BTS, Tortured poets department, books
Just a blog where I rrant about everything or some idea i write without any commitments cause i got issues, I might ghost
and come back when i feel like it.
When I hear the adults or family members talk in their so called intellectual convo and they all think how I know nothing because I don't engage with them but if I truly come in, I could eat them all like breakfast, because of all the work i do in growing myself for the better, ideally raising myself differently. The thing they talk about are what I've already been through ages ago, and honestly it's great they are learning, the thing that irks me how they hate and demean what I know. Which I'm like ??? YOU ARE THE ADULT ??
And somehow I have to take the higher road which is fine honestly in some fucked up way it could lead to my own personal growth.
yesterday I said fuck it and engaged in the convo
And my grandmother said .. huh you think u are superior and we are just trash.
Mind you I wasn't sarcastic, my tone was respectable and was simply giving my own thoughts in the matter, just a general debate.
And I'M THE BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY JuST BECAUSE I THINK AND RAISED MYSELF FOR THE BETTER
And after that I realised WHY I don't engage in their conversations because I'm treated like trash. And I went away in my burrow, didn't let it falter me tho, It's fine not the first time I've been demeaned in my own house.
Pairings: OT7 x Fem Reader, Human CEO Reader, Human Assistant Yoongi, Wolf Hybrids Joon, Jin, Hobi, Jimin, Tae, and Kook.
Basic premise: You and your assistant end up rescuing six wolf hybrids. No part of the process is easy.
Part 1 > Part 2 >Β Part 3 >Β Part 4 > Part 5 >Β Part 6 > Part 7 > Part 8 > Part 9 > Part 10
General Warnings: Hybrid abuse and lab experimentation, hybrids as second-class citizens/owned property (Minors DNI, 18+ content)
Specific Warnings: injury involving blood, toxic workplace conversations, one nonsexual bathing scene, very brief conversation around Hoseok's eating habits
____
Jungkook wakes up in the middle of the night, jolted out of sleep by the figure trembling against his body. He looks down at Taehyung, whose face is etched in terror. Distressed whimpers spill from his lips, quiet pleas of βplease noβ as his nightmares get more and more intense. The wolf tries to pull his packmate closer, tightening his grip to stop the shaking, but it doesnβt do much. He switches tactics, opting to whisper calming words in the manβs ear instead.
βYouβre alright hyung. Iβm here.β
He keeps repeating the last part, feeling powerless as his hyungβs whimpers turn into full-on sobbing. Itβs Jimin who wakes up next, followed soon by the other two. All of them stare with wide, worry-filled eyes as Taehyung struggles against Jungkookβs chest.
Namjoon turns on the lamp, looking around when he sees one less person in bed.
The oldest wolf is nowhere in sight, and the bathroom light isnβt on either.
But thereβs no time to wonder about Jinβnot when Taehyungβs claws shoot out of from his fingertips, scratching frantically until heβs fully out of Jungkookβs grasp. The feeling of real skin underneath his nails is enough to drag him back to consciousness, eyes now open and processing his surroundings.
Blood.
Claw marks.
His Koo with a pained expression.
It all comes into focus one by one.
βKooβ¦Iβm so sorryβ¦I-I didnβt meanββ
βShh, itβs okay hyung, itβs alright.β Heβs flinching as the wounds sting against his skin.
Jimin swiftly acts, digging through the bedside drawers until he finds the first-aid kit. He carefully peels the bloody shirt off of Jungkook before working on the wounds, holding the pupβs hands as the iodine burns hot against broken flesh.
Namjoon and Hoseok focus on calming Taehyung down, turning him away from the stressful scene to look at them instead.
βBad dream, huh pup?β
Taehyung nods, tears still pooling around his eyes, βYes Alpha.β
Hoseok pulls him in close, βYou donβt need to tell us about it if you donβt want to.β
Taehyung nods meekly.
Most of the nightmare is a blur, but there are parts he remembers clear as day: the researchers laughing with each strike on his heelsβ¦Jimin on the side laughing with them, delighted to see him mess up his duties once again.
Hit him harder. Heβs just slowing the pack down. Useless mutt.
Taehyung cringes as Jiminβs voice rings in his ear, so crisp as if it happened in real life.
βIβm so sorry Koo.β He still doesnβt look back, facing Hoseok while apologizing.
βItβs okay hyung, it happens.β
βAre you okay? Should I help?β
Jimin interjects, βIβve got this Tae, just focus on calming down for now.β
Itβs an innocent statement, but anything out of the other caretakerβs mouth is enough to irk Taehyung at the moment.
βI am calm.β He snaps.
The cold front between the two wolves is still as icy as ever, and only Namjoon has it in him to say something.
βThatβs not the tone we use to talk to our packmates, Tae.β
βSorry Alpha.β
βApologize to Jimin too.β
The wolf bites the inside of his cheek, reluctantly looking back and forcing an apology through gritted teeth.
βSorry Jimin hyung.β
βItβs okay. Youβre just tired.β
Everyone knows thatβs a lie.
___
The wolves finally find their oldest the next morning, curled up on the living room sofa with an open book as his pillow. He stirs awake at the sound of feet shuffling in, looking up and realizing he fell asleep while reading.
βYou look adorableβ Hoseok smiles, βDid you come out here because you couldnβt sleep again?β
Jin nods, getting up and stretching out, body a little stiff after being contorted on the sofa.
βCame out to read, didnβt realize I fell asleep.β
βLooks like it worked, you look cozy snuggled up in that blanket.β
The remark brings the blanket to Jinβs attention. He doesnβt remember ever grabbing it last night, but here he is, wrapped around in the dark blue fabric.
βDonβt freak out, but there was a little accident.β Namjoon recounts what happened, watching Jinβs worried gaze go back and forth between Taehyung and Jungkook.
βI shouldnβt have left. I shouldβve helped take care of them.β He groans in frustration.
βItβs okay hyung. We got it handled, and Iβm sure weβre all glad you got some sleep.β
The rest nod in agreement, but Jin still holds a bit of guilt in his eyes.
βIs the wound really deep?β
Jungkook shakes his head, βNo, it wasnβt even a lot of blood. It was my fault, I shouldβve given him space instead of holding him closer.β
βItβs not your fault Koo, I lost control. Itβs all me.β
βItβs no oneβs fault. Now we know to give Tae his space if it ever happens again.β
βExactly, thank you Jinnieβ Namjoon holds out his hand to ruffle the older wolfβs head, glad to have someone like Jin help lead the pack. Jin tilts his head back, leaning into the touch. Itβs instinctive when the Alpha dips down, meeting his packmateβs lips for a chaste peck on the lips.
The moment isnβt lost on anyone in the room. Such a simple, domestic peck that screams βI love you.β Itβs a gesture that the two havenβt shared in over three months, but still feels as natural as ever now.
The sight has hope wriggling its way into Jiminβs heart.
Things are slowly going back to normal. Taehyung and I will go back too. Everything will be alright.
Itβs the first time since theyβve entered the house that the hybrids slept in late, and the first time breakfast is already waiting for them. The caretaker hybrids canβt help but profusely apologize, which you dismiss immediately, telling them youβre glad theyβre getting more rest. Namjoon almost tells you about how little they actually slept, but decides it better to keep your good mood intact.
Jin canβt help but glance over at Yoongi throughout breakfast, but thankfully no one, not even Yoongi, notices. No matter how hard he tries, he just canβt understand why the man would bring him a blanket. Heβs not his packmate, and heβs not someone Jinβs on the best terms with, so why?
Itβs even more puzzling when the two of them reach for the last rolled omelet at the same time, and Yoongi retracts his chopsticks immediately.
βNo please, take it. Humans first.β Jin says, pushing the plate towards the man.
The phrase causes a stare from both you and Yoongi, making Jin feel small.
βThatβs not a thing here Jin.β You speak up.
βS-sorry.β He timidly takes the piece, watching to make sure Yoongi isnβt pissed off.
Yoongiβs response isnβt one Jin is prepared for,
βDo you like it?β
The hybrid nods.
Yoongi flashes the smallest smile, βItβs one of the few things I make well.β
Jin doesnβt know why, but his cheeks heat up as he bites into the omelet under Yoongiβs gaze.
___
βIβm really okay hyung.β Jungkook assures, holding his hands above his head as his packmate lifts his shirt off, stripping each piece of clothing until the youngest is fully bare.
βBut I still feel bad, so let me take care of you pup.β
Jungkook doesnβt protest any further, getting into the bath and watching fondly as his packmate shakes off his clothes to do the same. He makes room as Taehyung sinks into the water behind him, pulling the younger oneβs back flush against his chest.
Jungkookβs eyes flutter as Taehyung runs his fingers through his hair, carefully massaging his scalp with a decent amount of shampoo.
βFeel good Koo?β
βMhmm, really good.β
Taehyung smiles at the way Jungkook gets lost in his touch, letting out low hums of contentment on occasion.
βHyungβ
βYes Koo?β
βWas the nightmare really scary?β
Taehyung stiffens at the memory,
βIt was.β
βWas it about the lab?β
βYeah.β
βWell then no one in that nightmare can hurt you anymore. Weβre far away from them, so donβt worry.β
Taehyung doesnβt answer, giving Jungkookβs hair a slight tug to get the boy lost back into the sensationβdesperate to escape the conversation. It works, as Jungkook all but dozes off.
___
βYouβve been doing really well with eating Hobi, looking a lot healthierβ you smile, curling up on the opposite side of the couch as him.
His face beams at the compliment, βThank you!β
βIβm sure itβs been hard.β
βSometimes,β he chuckles nervously, βit feels wrong to eat as much as everyone else. But Iβm learning itβs not.β
βIβm really glad. Is there anything you need from me? Iβm happy to help with anything.β
βUmβ¦there is one thingβ¦do you think you could take me out somewhere? I know you and Namjoon went for a walk, and he said it was really nice. But itβs okay if youβre too busy!β Your heart swells at the nervous request. If thereβs one thing youβve learned, itβs that Hoseok is the worst when it comes to asking you for things, so this is a big win in your book. Youβre finally getting somewhere with him.
βIβm actually taking Taehyung to an art store after he washes up. If you want to tag along, weβd be more than happy to have you.β
βYes yes yes!β
His enthusiasm has you almost laughing, but you catch yourself, not wanting him to think heβs being laughed at for saying something wrong.
βCan everyone go? It can be a group trip!β
Youβre smile falters for a second, βAs much as Iβd like that, I donβt think I can take all six of you there at the same time.β
Hoseok understands, people wouldnβt exactly be happy at the sight of six wolf hybrids out and aboutβeven if leashed.
βI get it.β
βSorry sweetheart.β
βNo no, itβs okay. Thank you for inviting me. Are you sure itβs okay, though? Even two wolves are enough to scare people.β
βTwo should be fine, you leave worrying about all of that to me.β
As if on cue, Taehyung walks in, all giddy and ready to go out.
βHobiβs joining us.β
Taehyung jumps in excitement, urging his hyung to go get ready quick so they can get there sooner.
The store is everything Taehyung could dream of and more, with every type of paint in every color imaginable lining the shelves. Heβs like a kid in a candy store with the way he bounces around from aisle to aisle, and youβre sure that you wouldβve lost him three seconds in if not for the leash.
βHeβs really in his elementβ you laugh.
βPainting used to be his favorite thing in the world. There werenβt a lot of places that sold paint to us though, so we couldnβt indulge him like this. Heβs in paradise right now.β
The statement makes you wonder how exactly they lived before all of this. Youβve seen news segments on hybrid communities, how they had their own currencies and hierarchies. Lower percentage hybrids were captured by humans and sold off pretty quickly, but the higher percentage ones found a way to create their own society.
Hoseok thinks back to those days too, reminiscing how good everything used to be. They were thankful everyday for the genetic lottery they had wonβbeing not only wolf hybrids, but a high enough percentage for no human to ever try to capture them. His pack was truly the apex of their society, until humanityβs greed ripped it all from their hands. Now heβs here, on a leash with a head full of trauma that he canβt escape.
The cart fills up quick, partly because you tell him βget bothβ every time Taehyung asks you to choose between art supplies.
Everythingβs going well until Taehyungβs excitement gets the better of him, accidentally knocking over a little boy in the canvas aisle. Itβs a soft bump, but it does cause the boy, looking no older than twelve, to fall back. Heβs shaking in fear as the wolf reaches out to give him a hand. Taehyung quickly realizes heβs not making the situation better and steps back, making himself small as he interlocks fingers with Hoseok. You step up to the front and offer your hand instead, pulling the boy up while making sure thereβs no bruises or scrapes anywhere.
βSo sorry about that, heβs just excited. Are you hurt?β
βItβs o-okay. Iβm not h-hurt.β
βExcuse me, what the hell is going on?β A shrill voice asks, new figure emerging from the aisle over and yanking you away from the boy instantly.
Itβs obvious sheβs his mother, and youβre quick to explain the situation.
βIf you canβt control your hybrids in public then you should leave them at home. My kid got hurt because of you.β
You put on your fake smile once again, trying to resolve this as quickly and quietly as to not make the hybrids anxious.
βHe doesnβt look hurt anywhere Maβam. Iβve apologized to him already, so I think itβs best we all continue with our shopping.β
She eyes you up and down, gaze lingering on your Prada purse and Gucci belt.
βNonsense, your unruly wolf pushed my baby down. Itβs only fair you compensate us.β
Β Taehyung grips Hoseokβs hand tighter, unable to believe he messed up again.
You scoff, understanding exactly what kind of person this mother was.
βCompensate? For a small incident where no one got hurt? Youβre not making sense Maβam.β
βIf I say my kid is hurt, then he is. Unless you want a complaint sent to Hybrid Control, I would find a good amount to make it up to us.β
Both the hybrids lose color at the mention of Hybrid Controlβ¦Hybrid Control complaints gave the government authority to take away hybrids deemed βdangerous to society.β Itβs a case by case situation, but a complaint against a 40% wolf would no doubt lead Taehyung to being caged up.
Youβre aware of this too, as you quickly open your banking app at the mention of the authorities. It takes a second after the woman puts her information in your phone for you to recognize it.
βGong Hye Sunβ¦youβre not, by chance, wife of Ha-jun, are you?β
She raises a brow, βYou know my husband?β
Your mouth twists into a different smile this time, going from fake nice to condescending in a second.
βIβm his boss. Shin Y/N, nice to meet you.β
That changes the conversation entirely. Hye Sun steps back, heart racing at realizing who sheβs talking to. Shin Y/N. The name sheβs heard a thousand times from her husbandβs lipsβthe name that determined when his next bonus was, if he was on the newest projects, if he had a promotion lined up, and everything else that their family aspired for. She takes back her words at the speed of light.
βI didnβt mean toββ
βSure you didnβt,β you roll your eyes βI hope you donβt carelessly threaten Hybrid Control in the future. Itβs not cute. Transferred some pocket money because Iβm feeling nice. Get the boy some ice cream or something. Now, if youβll excuse us.β
You brush past her, Taehyung and Hoseok trailing with relieved expressions.
βWhy do I always mess things up?β Taehyung sighs, locking his seatbelt in as you start the car.
βIt was just an accident, Tae.β Hoseok assures, giving his hand a squeeze.
βIt doesnβt matter if itβs an accident or not. Iβm always the one causing trouble.β
βRelax darling, youβre a lot better than I was at twenty-three.β
βYouβre just saying that to make me feel better.β
βIβm not! You can google it once you get home. I was a real piece of work before I inherited the company. Thereβs probably five hundred articles of me embarrassing myself at parties or events. If you ever feel like a fuck-up, read those and youβll feel better in no time.β
You spend the rest of the ride telling them about your past, prompting the youngest into bouts of laughter every time you mention a drunk partying fiasco. Taehyung doesnβt even realize that heβs too busy laughing to do his usual routine of mental degradation after a mistake.
___
The day goes by with everyone shuffling in and out of the study, watching in awe as Taehyung works in his element. Heβs got all the reference pictures of your grandmother in front of him, doing rough sketches and beginning the underpainting process. Itβs mesmerizing, seeing a new layer on the canvas every time you peek your head in. You do drag him out for lunch and dinner this time, telling him he canβt eat while painting.
It's when Jin is wiping down the dining table does Yoongi speak to him again.
βHope you werenβt too cold last night. It was the only blanket I could find.β
Jin looks around paranoid, making sure his pack is too preoccupied to overhear Yoongiβs words. The man catches on quickly.
βYou donβt want them to know?β
Jin keeps his eyes at the table, avoiding eye contact. All the hybrids had agreed to keep a united front, making sure to let you know that theyβre on your side when it comes to you and Yoongi. Itβs not much, but just keeping him company made Jin feel guiltyβ¦maybe because of just how much he liked it. It was nice to have a reading buddy. The only other packmate who likes to read is Namjoon, and he prefers to do it alone. Itβs a simple thing, reading with someone else present, knowing youβre both immersed in your own worlds while sitting next to each otherβsimple yet so nice.
Yoongi leans in, βIt can be our secret, donβt worry.β
He walks away nonchalantly, not knowing that itβs the second time heβs made Jinβs cheeks burn today.
Itβs 11pm when all the hybrids in their roomβeven Taehyung, who Namjoon had to pry away from his paints. The wolves are getting ready to tuck themselves in for the night, leaving you and Yoongi alone in the living room. You watch as he sets up his laptop in a corner, getting ready for an emergency meeting. Heβd asked you to stay and listen in from the side, making it one less thing he has to write in a recap email. It feels odd, though, being alone with him for this amount of time. The awkwardness weighs heavily on both of you.
The meeting starts in a frenzy, as much as any other emergency meeting. Itβs not uncommon in the field youβre in, not even when itβs 11pm on a Sunday. In the world of venture capitalism, the work doesnβt sleep, and neither do the workers. You listen in closely as your COO, Minhyun talks through the screen, calmly addressing everyoneβs concerns and weighing in on the best course of action. It makes you more jealous than you care to admit, the way he commands a room with such a level-headed demeanor. Yoongiβs words creep back into your brain, reminding you of how much better the office is without your presence. You wonder if Shin Investments would perform better under someone like Minhyunβif youβre just not competent enough.
Itβs 2am when a course of action is determined, the call full of tired businessmen all ready to hang up. All except one of the board members, whose voice you recognize as Mr. Yoo, whoβs still somehow in the mood to gossip after a three hour meeting.
βIt must be nice to be Miss Shin right now, going on vacation with six hybrids while the rest of us are here working long nights on a weekend.β
Yoongi looks over, telling you to be calm with his gaze alone. He knows youβre itching to give some biting remark and put Yoo back in his place, but the last thing either you or him need right now is people finding out youβre living together. Thankfully, youβre on the same page, biting back your tongue and remaining silent off-screen.
βMiss Shin hasnβt taken a vacation day off since she started here. Iβm sure sheβs earned to sleep through a couple more nights.β
Yoongi watches as Yooβs facial expressions change, clearly not expecting anyone to defend you.
βSure, sure. Just a little obnoxious to use it this way, isnβt it? I mean, itβs not like she has a family trip or emergency. Three whole weeks to have an orgy with wolf hybridsβ¦β His smirk is especially sleazy at that part, causing other bursts of laughter to erupt from the meeting, βitβs just not very ladylike.β
Your knuckles are paper-white as you clutch the side of your chair, using every ounce of restraint in your body to not berate the man through the camera. Yoongi seems equally upset, as his response comes across even more annoyed than before.
βIf I recall, Mr. Yoo, youβve taken three vacations for honeymoons in the past two years alone. Three honeymoons in two yearsβ¦I wonder how long the newest marriage will last. Why donβt we bet on it?β
βMr. Min! Watch it.β
βMy bad, I thought it was open floor to comment on our coworkersβ personal lives today.β
That one gets a laugh out of Minhyun.
βAlright alright, thatβs enough. Mr. Yoo, just because Y/N isnβt here doesnβt mean Iβll tolerate such remarks towards her. Iβll give you a warning this time, but any further instances will land you straight to HR. And Mr. Min, letβs refrain from personal comments as well. Now, itβs been a long day and we should all get some sleep. Goodnight everyone.β
Itβs only when Yoongi closes his laptop do you talk again,
βThank youβ¦for speaking up for me.β
βAlways.β
Itβs silent as he packs up his bag. Your expression is sour, and itβs clear youβre still bothered. He almost doesnβt say anythingβfearing youβre not in a place to have proper conversations with him yetβbut he canβt let you spiral in your thoughts alone.
βYou canβt let sleazy comments like that get to you, Y/N.β
βItβs not Yooβs comment that Iβm thinking about.β
βThen what is it?β
You hang your head in resignation. βMinhyun would make a better CEO than me.β
βThatβs not true.β
βYes it is. Heβs excellent.β
Itβs reflexive the way Yoongiβs at your side at the first sign of you doubting yourself.
βShin Y/N, ever since youβve taken over the company, profit margin has increased by 15% and stock value by 6%. There is no reason for you to be doubting or comparing your abilities.β
βItβs not just about numbers, though, is it? Heβs also kind and everyone seems to like and respect him.β
βAnd who says you canβt be kind?β
You look at him with a questioning brow raise, βYou did. Very clearly when you told me how much happier the office is without me.β
He takes one of your hands, clasping it between his own to pull you face-to-face. You expect him to let go, but he doesnβt, and you donβt try to get away either.
βI never said you canβt be. I just said you need to try harder, and Iβm standing by that statement.β
You scoff, βThatβs easier said than done, you know?β
βSince when has something being too hard ever stopped you from trying?β
You hold his gaze, realizing he does have a point. Itβs the first time youβre not getting fully defensive about the subject, and Yoongi takes that as a win in itself.
βTheyβll call me a weak little girl the second I start, Yoongi.β The vulnerability is clear in your voice.
βMaybe they will, but we both know youβre not. Thereβs not one thing those men can do or say to take away from how competent you areβbut, as long as they can make you insecure like this, theyβll be the ones who have all the power.β
You look down, words taking a moment to soak into your brain. The way heβs holding your hand feels strangeβ¦intimate in a way itβs never felt before.
βWill you really stay by my side through everything?β
βI will. I promise.β
____
A/N: Do you guys like the way things are progressing? Let me know! Comments and reblogs make me happy :)
I hate it here, so I usually fade away to places, I escape all the time more than 80% of the time I escape in a day, I don't know why, maybe it could be depression, anxiety or adhd. I can't seem to live in my own life, that exists I live in the places in my head and I forget the important things in my life and regret later.
This maladaptive daydreaming is getting so much to the point I don't know where the whole day went.
another thing i wrote ages ago just sitting in my draft
MEMORIES
Its a funny thing. youβre just living your life doing what you are supposed to do, working, eating, walking, talking, dreaming. and at one point out of nowhere, that particular food reminds you of a person who made you fall in love with that taste. and you fall into the pit of their words, their smile all the things you used to do together. Everything keeps coming back to you. and that once peaceful moment of your life turns melancholic, haunted by nostalgia. isnt mind a weird thing?
you never know what it will take you next. I guess thats what it is to be a human, all the unexpected things makes it a life. but despite being unpredictable, it all somehow does fall back into place. everything is where its supposed to be with all its connections, crossroads, complicated streets, it all falls into the right place.
The memory, that haunted you for 3-4 years continuously disappeared, and now it returns from time to time, to check on you. its always gonna be there. memories are alive, they breathe through your emotions, live through youβre thoughts and return because they are youβre soul. it will all live and die with you. but turn it into poetry and they become immortal.
the most powerful things in the world.
we are not really us? right? Iβm not really me, I am everything i once loved and still do, every place i loved all the books and verses i love. we are just mixture of everything our soul is made of. and everything stored in a huge chest called memories.
what is it to be a human? what is it to be alive? what is it to be who you are?
questions we may never be able to answer. maybe they are not meant to be answered at all. unpredictability is life. and if it goes away, what is life?
we would not know where we would end up being but its not about the end line is it? its about the journey. but what do I know? Iβve barely lived. thinking is the only thing i can do, wondering about everything and nothing. the only privilege we have as humans.
I genuinely suffer from expensive taste, it should be categorised as a disease at this point and the classification of the medications should be like -
Hundred dollars worth ( hundermycin)
Thousand dollars worth ( thousandmycin)
Million dollars worth ( millionapril)
Etc-
(brackets are the name of the drugs I invented )
You have to have a background in pharmacology to understand the naming system.
okay if i write it okay i may turn it into a proper book but so far just a glimpse,
a yoongi ff, he is a warrior and female lead is the youngest princess, king and queen died and crown prince is the one and only kim seokjin who is famous af because he is changing the monarch with new innovative ways which seems completely futuristic and old people set in their ways hate him and tries to manipulate him but his right hand man kim namjoon is just as savage and breaths fire, so an UNSTOPPABLE TEAM. anyways onto the story - part 1
.
playlist song - So high school, Alchemy - taylor swift.
.
I woke up with the sound of jimin practically screaming and going back and forth like all the worries of the world are on his shoulders.
"your highness please wake up we have tons of things to do!!!! we are going to be LATE!"
"oh my god!! for fucks sake relax, im up, and we are only going to meet jinnie for breakfast."
"He is the king, Im nervous..."
"Take deep breaths okay?"
"okay and dont curse your highness."
"i won't in front of other people as long as you stop calling me that i swear to god chim we have been together since babies, call me Lizzie."
"alright, just go get ready the maids have kept everything, your bath is ready and -"
"I got this chim go, you do what you want."
ughhh he really needs to chill, jimin, tae ad I have known each other since we were kids and they are my personal helpers, but more than that we are best friends, i can share absolutely anything with them well with tae, jimin is more like a mother, he always worries 24/7 and how everything could go wrong and how i should make good choices.
As i got ready and opened my door and their they were, My best friends, as I sling my arms on their shoulders, tae laughed while chim glared. as to silently saying thats not what royals do.
I can practically hear his voice in my head.
And we link arms and went to the royal dinning hall for breakfast. and we arrived to see a pretty entertaining site,
we see Kim Seokjin, the future king of this empire teaching the royal chefs how to cook that particular food to perfection as he calls, the jin way, while they are scared to death.
"Yes now you flip this when its that color, you dont add the salt before, it gets all crazy and-"
"Oh hey !! lizzie! tae and chim how are you ? Ah havn't seen you in ages with all the work that I'm surrounded by, I have got tons of gossip I need to tell you !"
we sat down and had the most amazing breakfast, obviously because it was supervised by my brother. while jin told us everyhting that happened to that old bastard who tried to manipulate him into doing something horrible and how he exposed so much of secrets that his wife left him with his kids and with all the estate and money which jin helped her getting and now he is alone with nothing. Classic.
chim is just there sitting absolutely horrified and tae and I are so freaking proud. after breakfast we met joon for tea until they both went to their office because they are planning something big, I am excited they are so amazing, ever since jinnie went to become the crown prince and handling everything he has done so much and his morals remain the same, helping everyone in need without being apologetic and never backing down, he deserves to be the king of this empire and i just know he is so loved by all the people.
and now its the time for the best part of day,
watching warriors practice,
tae, chim and I have this time in our day where from this window in the library you get the perfect view of the field where the royal warriors train and do practise fights, My personal favourite, general min yoongi, he trains the warriors, the first in line in every war, the most strangest and bravest warrior, every war he led, we never lost, also one of the best friends of my brother.
from 1 to 3 they fight and practice in the sun sometimes without shirts, where we three just die.
"This is the best time of the day, the sun is hitting perfectly on my future husband's chest" sighs tae.
"I know right"
"what which one was yours again tae?" asked chim
"The fiercest and new warrior jeon."
"Oh yea he has got the best upper body." i couldnt help but exclaim.
"ya! you got yours dont look at MINE!"
"What ? Im just appreciating beauty and dont worry I only got love for yoongi"
"both of you are wrong the crown prince have the best shoulders." whispered chim. but we heard and couldnt help but stare at him in bewilderment.
"W-What? I - I'm just saying...."
we spend the whole afternoon watching from the window and went down to "only drink tea" while sitting just beside where they were taking a break from the hard practice.
"oh my god oh my god oh my god!!!!!!! did THE jeon jungkook just looked at me and SMILED !!" tae exclaimed
"oh my god i think i saw that too!!!! he totally likes you tae!!"
i said while we hugged each other in our delusions.
"you guys support each others delusions way to much its not healthy."
"thats what friend ship is chim ."
"yea we should support yours too, jin thinks your are cute too!"
"YA WHEN TF DID I SAID THAT !!!"
chim screamed a little too loud as the warriors turned to look at us for real this time, while he sank in his seat with red cheeks in embaressment. while tae and I were trying to stifle our laughs.
after sometime we were just about to go inside when general jeon came out of nowhwere, and greeted us and asked me if he could take to tae, I agreed instantly as tae was uncharacteristically quiet with complete red face, they talked and chim and I tried to listen what was going on and I heard a clearing of a throat.
"Your highness"
"shut up chim I'm trying to listen !!"
i felt a tap on my shoulder and saw chim looking at me and I looked behind him and saw general yoongi LOOKING AT ME!! he called me !!
"Oh oh . um... .. general min."
"i dont think its nice to listen like this, others private conversations , your highness."
"oh no its fine tae is my friend."
"ah your highness i remembered something i need to go" jimin bowed an practically ran away.
"nice evening right ? general min"
"Yea its pretty nice we had a great practice"
"yea i saw......I -I mean i barely noticed but like you know I um I was coming down and i saw a glimpse of you know the swords and yea.."
"oh yea ohkay." said yoongi okay i might be delusional but i think he is shy,
What if death is not a scary pitchfork carrying dark cloak demonic skeleton?
When I saw him, I didn't even realize who I was meeting. He came in unexpected, the one I was waiting for, counting on to take me away from this hell of a life, and no, not praying for a knight in shining armor but death.
The only worth of a choice.
He wasn't wearing a huge black cloak with shadows and black smoke around him, He was actually wearing pretty normal casual but classy clothes, jeans, black turtleneck and a coat. He had flowers, and he smiled like he was meeting me as one does to a long lost friend.
His handsome face almost made me glad i died, So I could witness that devilish but somehow the kind of grin which makes you feel giddy inside, that makes you want to squeal but can't because he is right there. the one that poets write about.
I dont know if he has a soul or if he is real or just my imagination as I am dying, but if it is my imagination, well done me i guess.
another thing i wrote ages ago just sitting in my draft
MEMORIES
Its a funny thing. youβre just living your life doing what you are supposed to do, working, eating, walking, talking, dreaming. and at one point out of nowhere, that particular food reminds you of a person who made you fall in love with that taste. and you fall into the pit of their words, their smile all the things you used to do together. Everything keeps coming back to you. and that once peaceful moment of your life turns melancholic, haunted by nostalgia. isnt mind a weird thing?
you never know what it will take you next. I guess thats what it is to be a human, all the unexpected things makes it a life. but despite being unpredictable, it all somehow does fall back into place. everything is where its supposed to be with all its connections, crossroads, complicated streets, it all falls into the right place.
The memory, that haunted you for 3-4 years continuously disappeared, and now it returns from time to time, to check on you. its always gonna be there. memories are alive, they breathe through your emotions, live through youβre thoughts and return because they are youβre soul. it will all live and die with you. but turn it into poetry and they become immortal.
the most powerful things in the world.
we are not really us? right? Iβm not really me, I am everything i once loved and still do, every place i loved all the books and verses i love. we are just mixture of everything our soul is made of. and everything stored in a huge chest called memories.
what is it to be a human? what is it to be alive? what is it to be who you are?
questions we may never be able to answer. maybe they are not meant to be answered at all. unpredictability is life. and if it goes away, what is life?
we would not know where we would end up being but its not about the end line is it? its about the journey. but what do I know? Iβve barely lived. thinking is the only thing i can do, wondering about everything and nothing. the only privilege we have as humans.
Doesnβt it all feel scary sometimes, Everything is just too much. You feel fine at one point but when you look around and actually think about this world, nothing makes sense, I donβt even know what Iβm writing about, i just know that itβs not right. This world is not the same anymore, we were told the world is ours to conquer, but have you seen what the world has become? we have become slaves it the word instead. we dont know anything anymore and happiness is when you live in ignorance, the minute you get out of that shell there is nothing governing your happiness, nothing makes sense anymore, and ding feel like such a better option, cause somehow nothing is worth it. People are killing eachother for nothing, like a game, deceiving, manipulating, we are surrounded by toxicity, we have romanticized life too much that it seems fictional, at this point living seems fictional.
the only time you are okay is when you are living in ignorance, when you dont think about what is going on around you an you live in that little bubble you let go of things because you canβt do anything and you prioritize your mental protection, but at the end where does that get you, you cant live in ignorance forever,.
I JUST WANT TO DIE THIS WORLD SUCKSSSSSSSS,
I WANT TO GO INTO MY FCITIONAL WORLDS FOR REA NOT JUST IN MY HEAD IS THAT TOO MUCHHHH
