Venerdì 4 Gennaio 2020
Here we are at the turning point.
The SC is ended and maybe you will end the university too.
Trying to visualize what to do with your life now seam you still need time to think and do nothing or do everything just in case you don’t miss something, and by the way, you surround yourself with people you call friends, still don’t have the guts to tell them about your problems and you mask them like daily task.
It brings you here talking with yourself trying to see the complexity of the picture speaking with your internal English voice so you can distort the reality on the board of your mind... so your thought will be caged in an imaginary room where they can't hurt the real world.
One or two years ago you decided that graphic design wasn't your work, you cant do it, you don't have the mind to do it, and every person in your goddam class was better than you in every way.
You need to be a natural talent to become a designer o to aspire at a creative work position. I can't get it, I tried to learn it but I didn’t, it’s seams that failure has no place in this branch, you just have to be good at it or none would like you, teacher, coworkers, agency...
So what I’m capable to do right now? Nothing? Not enough?Â
And what can I do? ...Choosing a path.
But how?
That is the point of this sort of monologue.
Nord
Since you did some web design, and it catches your attention that could be a road, avoiding the fact that you screwed the decisions of the course in the third year and didn't do software design when it was available. But there’s a lot of things that interest you about it... At the same time, you are asking yourselves: Becoming a web Developer (cause I cut my bridge with design)? Is this my road? Is this what I want to do? Do I want to spend most of my time trying to improve myself over this? Am I rushing like I did back then with the university? Would I regret this decision? Will this Unsolid Work be my Solid Work? Don't know......
Ovest
Find a job, whatever, you will see what to do forward... Is this procrastinating?
Est
Is really totally over with graphic and design? what about working in typography? or trying to make the most of what you learn from the classes and your fucked up experiences?
Sud
This is the forbidden road... cartoon animation. Did you surely dream about it? or was just the amusing creative team working that you were pointing at? But you are not able to work in a group, you are terrible, you suck, you did awful things and every time it ended in the worst possible scenario with the most exaggerated afford ... and you absolutely don't know nothing about, from every point of view! Still, in your total ignorance, you desire to spend most of your time trying to learn to do it in the best way possible... and you desire to be the best at it, and mentally you do plans without knowing what to do.
what a limboÂ
Are Nord and Sud really so polar? Could it be Nord-est? Or Sud- ovest? Trying to take advantage of the time spent learning to earn something to invest in my dreams and future projects? Are there directions that I’m not considering? I know anyone can help me to do such decisions but me, I should find something that can help me doing it outside a youtube video and blogs.Â
That’s up to you Future me.
