I only go here when I really feel like typing stuff, and today is that kind of that day. Well as of right now, life is going pretty good. This past year has been pretty crazy. A lot of lessons learned, a lot of growing up and finding myself. I hate to tie this in with my break-up of last year but the truth is, that is when I really started pushing to become a better me. The first few months were rough because I had to deal with getting over the whole relationship and etc, but now, it’s not even about that anymore. I’m happy me and my ex are still friends, and there is nothing more than I can ask from that.
So why do I always bring that situation up? Well like I said earlier, that was the catalyst in my life. To make it a short story, these past few years have been plagued with a lot of issues surrounding myself. Most notably my health has been complete crap (very long story), I was in a relationship where I wasn’t exactly happy, and I was also just kind of very unmotivated in school (at De Anza). But fast-foward a year later and man oh man has the game changed. I’m still working on my health, but I am in a much better place compared to where I was last year. I’m really happy about that. This is part of the reason why I am writing this blog. Like seriously, I don’t know who will ever read this blog, because I don’t have a lot of followers, and the people who do follow me probably rarely ever check their tumblr now. Anyways, right now, my health is the most important shit I am trying to get right. More than girls. More than going out and partying. More than fucking money! I spent the last six months unemployed, not because I am a lazy sack of shit, but because I took that time to do A LOT of fucking research on how to get better. I would love to explain my health debacle, but that probably requires a YouTube video or something, just because it is a really long story. Don’t worry people, I don’t have cancer. At least, I’m pretty damn sure I don’t. Lol. But yeah, back to the whole health thing and how it relates back to last years event. So basically I was so caught up in my relationship, not knowing where it was going, and that itself right there....is a damn killer. I’m telling you, that level of uncertainty and confusion really fucked me up on a daily basis. Like it really brought my state of mind and overall mentality to a low. Now that I am single, I am able to focus on myself and really just pursue every damn goal that I ever wanted. It sound so cheesy and cliche, but I really do feel like life is about working on yourself, and really trying to become the best you can be. Like every damn morning when I don’t want to get out of bed, or every time I am feeling sad, I always tell myself - “Dude, what happens if you die today? What do you have to lose? What kind of legacy and attitude will you leave this earth with?” That mentality is what drives me. Knowing that any damn day can be my last, Ima just go out there and be the best person I can be. I don’t care if I get embarrassed, I don’t care if a girl doesn’t like me...at the end of the day it is about who I am, and am I happy with myself? That is what drives me.
Overall, 2015 is now coming to a close with two months left in the tank. It’s been a good year, a really good one. And like I said, as much I hate to talk about it, my life really changed when me and rita broke up. It really did. I am so happy for her and what she has going on in life, which really just means that this whole thing is meant to be. Being single is tough sometimes because I do get lonely. But at at the end of the day, I am here to improve myself and become the best person I can be. I don’t know where this so called “drive” came from, but damn, I am so determined to succeed. And no one is going to tell me otherwise. Deuceees.
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