Mayflower... Cums?

[lemon-labia]

polyamory is awesome you can tell your girlfriend about your crush

[swagophile]

Back in y2k I used to have so much fun throwing empty beer cans at dogs. Yeah. Those were the days. Sometimes I would throw full beer cans at dogs. Sometimes lit matches. Sometimes I'd just throw other dogs at dogs. That was probably the closest I've ever been to being happy. Do you remember what that was like? Y2k. Sorta fruitger aero. Nah. That came later. Web 1.0, you remember? It was before your time. Wanna go throw beer cans at dogs with me? It's okay, I am an "age regressor"

[pixelguzzler]

im so furry pilled i often forget some people still think it's weird to be a furry, furry's just my normal day to day

[turing-tested]

guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way

[vraska-theunseen]

wait what’s the difference?

[turing-tested]

one you can use in the oven safely and the other you can also use in the oven if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire

[swagophile]

how the fuck did i play work at a pizza place for 3 uninterrupted hours howd that happen

[swagophile]

that game is so strange because its one of thw few games on roblox with an extremely active playerbase that gemuinely has not changed at all in over a decade. its crazy. roblox is such an evil malicious platform and every game that charts now feels like some kind of soulless slop product trying to suck the robux out of you but work at a pizza place is completely unchanged. its exactly how its always been. its kind of comforting in that way. and somehow its always active. people STILL play it exactly the way they used to before. i honestly genuinely dont know how its possible. its a nice respite though

[ajihaew]

yumpy!!!!

[the-big-mood]

At Toba aquarium in Japan, after closing time, some clever little otter pups help their grandpa tidy up their toys. As a reward, he gives them ice cubes

[joy-and-whimsy-official]

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

[milfsagainstroadhead-deactivate]

Really hate how “mommy and daddy issues” just a jab at the child and not the parent

[tiffanarchyforever]

Oh, so your parent(s) traumatized you when you were vulnerable and defenseless, and they let you down when you were reliant on them for your emotional needs? Lol idiot.

[phinarei]

My ENTIRE world just shifted to the left a bit. Thanks.

[segamascott]

[bleekay]

its so shiddy when u have to convince yourself to do your hobbies. like, its fun, you like it, why cant you just do it. do it. do it. but what if.... mindless media consumption instead....

[bleekay]

im so sorry to the seven thousand of you so far who relate

[g1sunstreaker]

upset at the accuracy of these tags

[swagophile]

Ended up before the king cus my joke was kind of weird and made everyone uncomfortable and the king said "Foolish Jester. What say you for your grave offense?" and i look around the room, bead of sweat trailing down my porcelain mask, arms bound and head in stocks and i said, i said. "Weeeeeelllll.. This just got awkward reaal fast didnt it?" And I gave a big grin and the king ordered the knight to behead me for being annoying after which i was promptly executed. but its fine cus i was actually a small fox so i just hopped out of the jester suit and ran away

[swagophile]

Moral Of The Story: The Jester Is A Small Fox

[windowsloth]

former enemy mech pilot did not expect to get this far

[transparent-plastic-robotgirl]

my wife stooe my phone

[cheaphalloweencostume]

horrible fucking partner just said apropos of nothing “and i’ll SUCK, and i’ll FUCK, and i’ll BLOW YOUR BACK OUT” like the big bad wolf.

[mothgirlcyborg]

I think the proper way to greet an Affini (esp if r terran shaped) is to stand on your tippie toes and press your face into their crotch! (Or the closest thing they have to a crotch)

This style of greeting instantly shows you're not a feralist! And the Affini find it rlly cute too... so make sure to lean in and nuzzle your face into the pretty lady's crotch!!!

I did this with my owner and it worked!! Before I even knew it I was HAPPILY collared and in mama's vines, i still don't know why I peed my pants after....

[esthermika]

pro tip for getting a trans girl to fall in love with you: treat her like a plushie. like a soft and delicate thing that is so soft to hold and touch.

she doesn't often get to feel that way. if you offer that to her, she'll love you forever

[swagophile]

I keep thinking theres a bug crawling on my skin and freaking out only to realizw that its actual physical beads of sweat. I didnt really know they did that like that. This heat is driving me insane