What?

what the fuck am i

[reallifeishorror]

[meladoodle]

i wanna take your clothes off… ;) and then replace them with something else because that outfit is ugly as hell

[lordmeowdemort]

Hello my baby hello my honey hello darkness my old friend

[purplethebunny]

How dare you make me hear this with my own internal monologue.

[racefaker]

So Captain Underpants explores the friendship between a gay boy and a black bisexual boy and y’all wanna say Beauty and the Beast was the pinnacle of gay representation in children’s films huh

[racefaker]

Captain Underpants comes out on Pride Month. Coincidence? I think the fuck NOT.

[evil-little-princess-from-hell]

Excuse but Harold and George aint gay.

[dykelliewilliams]

You miss the book where Harold has a husband?

[evil-little-princess-from-hell]

Fanfiction aint canon

[heartandstride-deactivated20190]

It’s in the official books written by the actual author, so it is canon. Pilkey wrote it, so it’s canon. 

[evil-little-princess-from-hell]

I refuse to believe he willingly inserted a political agenda into a popular, established children series

[heartandstride-deactivated20190]

Oh look, stuff from the book! The actual canon book. 

Look at Harold with his husband and kids. Very small but super poignant. 

[darkwingsnark]

LOL @ ‘wouldn’t put political agendas in children’s books’. 

[vaporize-employers]

[aph-lithuania]

[politicalsci]

[simonalkenmayer]

Your death is a preexisting condition and we cannot afford to cover every resurrection. I already have mine scheduled. Die mad about it.

[gothcostco]

i would kill to live in a small home with no financial worries

[gothcostco]

grow my own vegetables. some medicinal herbs. what more do you need

[creativityflows]

A cat

[gothcostco]

a cat.

[gif87a-com]

The Book of Names lists each person murdered at Auschwitz

[squishymamasboy]

#and you have to remember how many names are most likely missing#from rushed trains and burned lists#from rushed transports and people who died on the death marchs#what about the names from people who died after their liberation#and then…#this is only Auschwitz#this was the biggest camp yes#but just one of many#and then remember sobibor and belsec#and try not to feel sick

[stokerbramwell]

This is why we punch Nazis. This is why this vile ideology must be stamped out viciously every time it tries to come out of its hole.

Never. Again.

[retrogamingblog]

[xtremecaffeine-deactivated20181]

but why do you need both a fan and kirby?

[jas720]

To keep Kirby cool

[xtremecaffeine-deactivated20181]

that is fair and makes perfect sense

[tozbraks-deactivated20180212]

everybody: hugh, bring your big ass muscles over here and punch this guy on screen hugh jackman, quietly: i just want to sing

[machetelanding]

[bonitapplebumb]

Feeling heavily attacked rn

[pukicho]

If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that’d be a neat noise 

[luteyandthemermaid]

i beg to differ 

[pukicho]

Then Beg

[xplodingunicorn]

[taviacw]

My upstairs neighbor is having really loud sex at 10:25am. And, while this feels like retaliation, I can only hope it mellows her out and she stops stomping around all the goddamn time

[taviacw]

Wow in the time it took me to type up and tag this post, the sex started and ended…… she’ll prolly be vacuuming soon. 🙁

[taviacw]

It’s 10:29 and the sex has ended. I am v sad for her

[taviacw]

I feel like I jinxed her. Like her nigga follows me on here and saw this post, mid thrust, and got performance anxiety. I’m sorry, Upstairs Stomping Bitch.

[taviacw]

There’s stomping. She’s up and moving around. And you know what….. I can’t even be mad anymore. If I was only getting fucked for seven minutes at a time, I’d stomp around too.

[taviacw]

Y’all she’s showing tf out. She’s really up there like

[taviacw]

Damn I just heard her door close and then footsteps coming down the stairs. He left 😭😭😭 he’s not even gonna try again.

[taviacw]

I’m gonna need ear plugs for the level of stomping this is bound to cause. When her feet inevitably crash through my ceiling ima just look through the hole and be like “hi…. sorry you didn’t get fucked down this morning. Even tho you filed a noise complaint on me that one time, I was rooting for you.”

[taviacw]

Update y’all: it’s 3:10pm and she is vacuuming THE FUCK out of the hardwood flooring

[taviacw]

But then like, that really does sound like something ppl that are in need of orgasm do. Just extremely unnecessary cleaning, to take their mind off the lack of sexual release.

[taviacw]

I can see the text conversation now.

“I heard Aaron came over last nightttt. Whatd you guys get up to???👀👀👀😏”

“Not much. Oh! But, I did finally get a chance to mop my bathtub tho!!🤗 It was a mess in there, so thank god.”

“😬😔”

[taviacw]

It’s 12:26am and she is getting her back blown tf outttt. Cannot be the same nigga from earlier.

[taviacw]

I have the strong urge to knock the broom against the ceiling and holler out “yaaas bitch get some bomb ass dick” but I don’t wanna fuck up the vibe

[taviacw]

Nvm. It lasted from 12:20-12:28. It’s the same nigga.

[taviacw]

She better not start stomping or cleaning. I’ll file a noise complaint so fucking fast. Imagine getting a noise complaint for shitty sex. Don’t do it, Stomping Upstairs Bitch

[adorn88]

what a ride

[taviacw]

Not for her, apparently.

[machetelanding]

[bonitapplebumb]

Feeling heavily attacked rn

[machetelanding]

[bonitapplebumb]

Feeling heavily attacked rn

[torracat]

talkin to ur crush like

[sexyleftistsantaclause]

the father, the son, and the holy ghost

[wereralph]

The fourth horseman