I spoke to my guy friend today (let’s call him “Matt”), and he told me something my fellow feminists (and everyone, really) should hear.
For New Year’s this year he hung out with a mutual friend of ours (let’s call her “Ellie”) and some friends of hers.
Backstory! Ellie has had feelings for Matt for about a year now. This summer/fall she told him about her crush, he told her that while he liked her as a friend, he really wasn’t interested in more.
Back to New Year’s Eve...
Ellie, Matt, and Ellie’s friends were getting incredibly fucked up. Matt told me Ellie was “pretty out of it.” and he was as well. Ellie’s friend tried to get Matt to make out with her (Ellie). He said he “almost did it, too.” because he didn’t really know what was going on. But he “doesn’t find her attractive like that.”
I’m not sure he even realized what his story meant, but please imagine with me for a moment that Ellie and Matt’s rolls were reversed. Imagine you heard that Matt, despite having been kindly rejected by Ellie, continued to pursue her, took her to a party, got her very fucked up and his friends tried to pressure her to make out with him. Sounds pretty shitty, eh?
I think what Ellie’s friends did is pretty shitty too. I think we need to remember that guys don’t want sex at all costs, that they aren’t mindlessly in the pursuit of pussy, and that getting them drunk/high and trying to take advantage of them makes you a shitty fucking person.
