What I need in a person - 160106.1959
After coming out last year, I tried to look for someone to spend time with. Maybe it wouldn’t be long term, but I wanted the experience as I had never dated prior to confessing about my sexuality.
I am finding that the Internet is really the only way for me to actually meet other guys because it is rather hard to find them out in the open. It’s not like that there are signs over people’s heads labeling their sexuality. The Internet makes it easier and this way I can find people who are interested in many of the things I am, too.
I have had expressed interest in a few guys. The first one felt right to me, but that unfortunately did not end very well. After talking and sharing a lot of personal things for about 4 months, he decided that he wanted to go out with some other guy and then blocked me completely from his life like nothing happened. I admit that I was rather sad about that, but I guess it just was not meant to be, so it was time for me to move on.
Two (I guess, technically, three) of them were from Tinder. I ended up meeting one in person, but it just did not feel right to me. I texted the second one a bunch, but nothing really came out of it. I did not feel much effort was being put towards our initial friendship and that is something that is important to me. It takes two to build any kind of relationship and I do not think that many people realize that.
I was talking to a friend the other day and he told me that soulmates are not something that are just found or given to you. Soulmates are made. He said to imagine a diamond. When you polish and cut it enough, it can become a diamond ring (which is pretty much a metaphor for marriage).
The fourth guy, who I am currently talking to, is also kind of from Tinder, but I had followed him prior on here and Instagram. We did not actually start talking until, strangely, I discovered that we matched on Tinder. I sent him a message on Instagram stating what happened and we have not stopped talking since then. I really really really like him and I think something could come out of it if we keep this up. We like many of the same things, we think pretty similarly, and he’s so cute whether that concerns his looks or how he reacts to things. I haven’t felt quite as happy as I am right now talking to him and it just feels so right. We still have a lot to learn about each other and it’s important that we actually know each other before jumping into a relationship. I’ve already hung out with him two times and we’re planning to see more of each other. We’ve also exchanged some movies and video games, so I guess it’s serious.
With that said, the point of this is for me to think about what I need in a person. This someone should share many of the same interests, and, if not, they need to be open to experiencing and sharing new things with me. It’s important that they’re always honest no matter if what they say might hurt me. This someone needs to know how to communicate. They need to be able to play video games with me hours on end and also like exploring outside. I want them to make me feel accepted and loved. They can’t treat me like I’m weak because I have a disease, but believe that I’m strong because of it. Simply put, I want someone who loves me for me.
