...dili man jud mawala ang PRESSURE, pero dili nako makaya iyahang style na mag sige’g adjust para sa iyaha. EVERYDAY ADJUST. Na toxic ‘ko n’ya, dili sya healthy for me. Mao to biskan ganahan ko sa’kuang work, I chose to give up that day. Kay grabe jud sya ka PUSHY. Kahit gaano ka organize lahat ng gawin mo, wala gyapon. Pangitaan niya ug mali. I was telling myself everyday, “Go lang, until sa kaya mo pa, at the end of the day may sweldo ka gurl, bay-e sya mag ugtas sa mga walang kwentang problema nya na mabigyan man ng solusyon na pinapalaki pa nya 🤣.” Unya kay mental health na man nakasalalay. Dili nako gusto mag buang-buang, two to three years? All because of one person na who doesn't even care? Nah to the ah to the NO. I deserved to be treated right kay nanarbaho ko’g tarong, if there are some lapses sa’kuang work, mao nang time na panic sya na magsige’g panugo na wala sa timing ba then malimtan nako akuang ginabuhat na di na mabalikan. Like wala pakabalik lingkod tawagon napud. There was that time na she ask me to assist her 30 minutes before the event, and pinagawa nya ako ng re-report nya. I was like, okay, kasi this is one of my duty and responsibility, to help the management run smoothly. When the time came, I was situated at the center of the event hall, para mag pipi-pindot sa laptop ng PPT Slides. Hindi kasi sya techy, so hindi marunong gamitin ang pointer. Ayaw nya rin na gamitin ko ang pointer, gusto nya pindutin ko talaga manually sa laptop. So, okay, no problem. So, I was there at the front while all the DEPARTMENT HEADS are discussing. Long story short, dahil sa mahina ang boses ng ibang dept heads, gusto nya iikot ko ang microphone while magpipi-pindot ako sa laptop. Like how? Elastic yan? Flexible yan? Infront ha, sinabi nyang, “Bigay mo ang mic doon, THIS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY HA, TANDAAN mo yan.” She said that while naka on ang mic, and walking towards me. Sa harapan. She was so palak that time and I was like KALMADO pa days. And I said, “ah, okay ma’am.” Kinuha ko ang mic, walk, pindot, libot, fairies wheel. Any many more, she would also bend rules, na kesyo ganito kasi ganyan. She would also fly away like a langaw, she would never stand strong sa mga kasama nya sa office. She will always make you feel incompetent. She likes to bring down people. She likes to downgrade people. I’ve seen how she talks and handles situations poorly. I always pray to God to give those employees strength and motivation na makapunta and matapos ang work nila accordingly. She also likes to bend management system. This, I won’t tell, I always practice privacy and confidentiality. God will do the rest. She would never listen first... Then and there. I always cry at night. Actually, pasulod pa lang ko sa doorway buhos na agad luha ko. I was crying my heart out infront of my mom. Here pa yung time na, strong pa ako, lalaban lang kasi ganto naman talaga daw kapag una mong work, according sa ibang tao. Pero bakit madalas? Bakit ako kinakabahan ni hindi pa ako nakaalis ng bahay? Bakit hindi na ako excited pumasok? So, naa koy choice. And I chose to resign biskan unsa pa ka big help mga Officemate nako sa’kua, dili jud ka nila pasagdan, one for all for one jud mi ana sa office. However I typically able to make it through a bad Monday, survive a challenging week, and learn valuable lessons from a disappointing quarter, I just can’t stay there anymore. I need to get back up again. All I want is peace of mind. There are moments na naga struggle ko even sa small things. There’s this upsetting emotions and anxiety that won’t go away. Dili sya healthy for me. Relentless stress. Toxic management system. Erase. It typically follows me home. Steal away much-needed sleep, and generally cause worry and stress at that time. THOSE DAYS. Seconds. It lead myself to stress, burnout, anxiety, damage to my self-esteem, and serious disruptions sa akuang normal life. I was being professional but SHE WAS NOT. I don’t know. I can’t really express my self well. It’s just that, I love the job but I just really can’t stay. I just can’t.
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