becoming who ive always been @abetterrne - Tumblr Blog

had something bad happen to me so rn i'm feeling particularly vulnerable and rn i'm fixated on my body. if i were smaller i could hide in clothes but no matter how much i upsize i will never be able to hide all my insecurities. i poke out and i can't hide it , i can't hide from it. i can't hide

chibird

I couldn't fit all my thoughts in the comic without being a wall of text, but I did want to expand a little more! If a thought isn't serving you, sometimes labeling it as "unhelpful" can encourage you to pay less attention to it. Maybe you still believe it, but knowing it's unhelpful can help you push it aside. I also find labeling a helpful tool for organizing my thoughts, instead of letting them all swirl together. I hope this can help you too! ❤️

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Instagram

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glowcowboy

we’re gonna be ok btw

glowcowboy

it’s ok if you’re scared. or tired. or unsure. or one million billion other complicated emotions at once. but i’ve decided things are going to be ok anyway. and i will hold that belief close to my heart no matter how scared or tired or lonely or depressed or one million billion other things i am. i will hold onto that. and if you’re scared, you can hold onto me. we can carry each other through

islyingtoyou

sitting quietly next to my inner grieving child so she knows that home is where grief can mourn safely

i'm grieving the loss of my childhood. i'm officially an adult.

everyone talks about how hard it is for a mom when her kids move out but no one talks about how hard it is to move out. i just want to hold my mom and have her pet my hair as i fall asleep. i want to be a child in her arms again. i feel like i can't relax here i haven't slept well in so long. i miss her so much. i love my mom so much

my mom was telling me about how she was reading something about how a mom was thinking about the last time she washed her daughters hair. how she didn't know at the time it would be the last time and i'm crying so hard thinking about it.

i feel my heart breaking every time i hear that song. i don't want to be here anymore i want to go home with my mom i want to be warm in my childhood bed i want to sleep on the couch and i want to hear my mom get ready for work and hear the coffee pot going off i want to see my sisters and dad and mom i want to hold my mom so long as i cry and i want to lay in bed w her again there was a time i slept w her every night i didn't know that the last time was even the last time.

at my moms house for the first time since moving out and i'm bawling my fucking eyes out. i just want to lay down in my old bed and pretend everything is the same i'm so happy i got to move out but i'm so sad for what i lost. i miss my sisters and my dad and mom and the dogs and cats i miss it all so much i feel like i could cry until i have no tears to cry then i'd just cry w/o em. i feel physically ill at the thought of walking out the door . there is such comfort here i miss my mom above all. i miss hugging her and talking to her before we go to bed. i miss sitting on the couch watching tv until i fell asleep . i miss everything so much i don't think i'll ever stop missing it. my childhood is officially over and i'm mourning the loss. i'm grieving

"I am freeing myself of worry, stress, pain, and any other negative feelings. I am walking this life with God and I leave my sorrows at the beginning on the path. I leave my hurt with this razor. I will never, ever, harm myself on purpose again. It is not a good thing. When I am done writing this, I will be a new me. I don't know where life will take me but hopefully it will be beautiful. Life is too full of chances... I want to take them. I'm not ending my story here, I'm turning the page. It will be hard, and there will be pain, but that's okay. Let this note be a ticket to a new me. Things are gonna change. This is not the end. I will be okay. Everything will be alright. WISH ME LUCK!!"

I wrote this note when I decided to stop self harming when I was 13 (February 18th, 2018) I intended to bury it but never got to it and it sat in a box... I'm moving now (19) and decided that it's time. I'm going to bury this note along with the razors I used and put it to rest. I have always been depressed... always since I could remember... but I've always wanted to live. That is for certain.

yeah sure u can have this. no it's ok some thought ran through my head and now i'm no longer comfortable in my own skin

so tired of trying to make myself take up smaller space in the world as if i don't have a place here just like everyone else

unfortunately i haven't done shit since i last posted LMFAO 😐👎 but i got a job and hopefully now i can buy my own groceries and not worry abt my mom doing it .i've been feeling so insecure recently like i do my makeup for work and stuff but it doesn't help that much. i shower and i wear clean clothes. atp it's just my weight that's holding me back. from everything. i feel like i'm not even worth being pursued or loved yk? obviously ik i am worth it and then some but it's a devastating feeling when you see someone cute and think abt asking for their number or talking w them and you shut it down bc you just don't wanna be looked at and rejected and you're so tired of feeling like a fool for thinking you could be with someone. idk it's just that i'm so insecure. i lowkey like this guy at work he's so cute and his voice is hot and blah blah blah but every time he's around me i feel incredibly aware of my weight. the way i just can't seem to get back on track. i feel as if i'm waiting for something to happen or like there's a deadline to losing weight. idk idk idk but i need to lose the weight bc it's effecting my mental health again so bad . i dream of running and jumping and being able to fit in smaller places . idk

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