Ableist Shit My Mom Says

I'm Autistic. These are things I've heard my mom say. More often than not, she's said these things to me.

[wizardhecker]

white people do not get to say what’s racist and whats not

when a person of color tells you something you’re doing is racist, you fucking listen and stop doing it

i don’t care if it seems unreasonable or if south park told you it’s okay, it is not that hard to stop doing it

[ableistshit]

"I was having problems in university. I went to see the disability office and the counselor. They referred me to each other."

[ableistshit]

I am not a child. (TW: Infantilizing autistic people)

I don't know, I need to vent and this seemed appropriate.  Its going to get long and go on about online conversations, so if you find that petty it may be best to skip this.

Months ago, my friend was ableist.  It was only after rereading the conversation that it struck me that 'holy shit this is ableist she thinks I'm a child'.  For an idea of how bad it was, the conversation included her telling me I have autism and giving a loose definition in brackets.  Because I don't know what autism is or what I have, right?

Now I know I can personally be immature as hell.  But...I'm 20.  I'm autistic.  I do not want to be called a child, that's ableist.  Think I'm immature or not quite properly adult yet all you want, I personally still feel like a teenager, but argue for seeing me like a little kid and I will see red.

So, I figured "well this is ableist, I better call them out on it, I don't want them thinking this about me".  I do and...She repeatedly argues in favour of treating me like a child.  "i am finding it rather hard to not treat you like a child. when im out with you you like to wander off to see anything that walks on 4 legs" "liane even when i was childminding in york the kids wernt as bad as you for wandering off" Yeah, because going out somewhere with me means I'm not fucking allowed to walk where I please and pet dogs.  Because oh nooo she might have to wait a minute when we're just walking home and can't just ask me 'faster pls'.  Nope, I'm basically this little burden she has to watch over when we consisted of two friends fucking going outside or walking home with no 'must get back by x deadline'.

"but back to the point if you want me to stop treating you like a child then you need to start acting like an adult, if you wana pet everything fine but im gonna walk away because i am sick of waiting" Adults never pet dogs ever okay now we know we aren't allowed to fawn over dogs in public or we forfeit our grown-up licence.

"You apologised then went 'not really' and kept on with annoying shit and reminding me how you think I'm a child"

"well yes"

"liane if youre an adult dye your hair blue" Great idea, I'll do something that will piss off my mum whilst living under her roof that involves either stealing money from her or obtaining money for it via lying and then frustrate myself trying to come up with an alibi for why I totally wasn't at the hairdressers or bought a cheap packet of hair dye and suddenly enjoy wearing hats all the time.  Oh and then I'll deal with the fall-out when she notices, great idea.  This will go down well if I decide to get a job with no real qualifications and not possibly limit my opportunities at all (Sad but true, the lady at my work experience thing pretty much said 'ask the employer first').

I wasn't feeling happy about this so I pretty much told her to not get me a Christmas present because I'm sick of burdening her.  If just us going outside together is a burden for her then I don't fancy throwing her off to the mall in Scottish weather.

When I repeated it later outside of the argument so that it wasn't missed she accused me of speaking to her in a 'high and mighty' tone, said I don't know what anyone is thinking, called me a little girl and blocked/removed me.

This might seem daft because it took place online, but...She was my best friend.  Since Primary.  Since I was nine.  She lives a short walk away from my house.  She's been pretty awful at handling my issues at times, but its not like I wanted to cut her off.

All it took was confronting her on her ableism for the friendship to end.  All it took was asking her 'do not treat me like a child'.  We've gone from 'we could totally be room-mates someday' to...This.

So...Ableists?  Don't be ableist.  You ruin more than you realize.  You could lose your best friend.  So much for "but I have minority group friends I can't be a bigot".  And because of a fall-out with someone else being a bag of dicks, I have no best friends for this Christmas.  This is going to fucking suck.

[ableistshit]

Given your alleged disability, you are unqualified to contest my post. Without your affliction, perhaps you would see it as I do.

-said by someone trying to legitimise racism, ableism and eugenics

[ableistshit]

TRIGGER WARNING: mention of abuse, equating mental disabilities with abusive behavior on a Facebook support group [poster explains domestic violence story, with graphic details of physical, sexual, verbal and psychological abuse] First response: I have read enough and since you said be nice - I will tell you - he has a disease call Bipolar 11 people like this BIPOLAR DOES NOT EXPLAIN OR EXCUSE ABUSE Bipolar people are much more likely to be on the victim side of abuse Mentalism much???? I CAN’T EVEN BE PART OF A SUPPORT GROUP FOR SURVIVORS WITHOUT ENCOUNTERING ABLEISM (for the record I’m a survivor myself and was severely abused by someone whose long list of psychiatric diagnoses included bipolar disorder and the thought process of abusive = mentally ill is just wrong and ableist)

From a friend

[ableistshit]

"I just don't let those things bother me"

-my allistic mom when I said I wished A$ was a person so I could punch them in the mouth. GEE I WONDER WHY I CAN'T JUST ~NOT GET UPSET~ ABOUT THEM. Could it be that I have a vested interest in those who advocate eugenics against me? =o

[ableistshit]

Just a note

Hi people 

Just want to let people know that I'm irregular and inconsistent in updating this page

I don't often remember to check my dashboard

If I don't reply to your ask right away

Go ahead and email me at [email protected]

I'll notice that a lot faster than an ask box thing

It's not that I hate you or am trying to ignore you

I just don't remember to check the dashboard til I've got something to queue

Thanks

[ableistshit]

I just wanted to say, about the guns/ableist stuff... I have a few different mental health disorders, including BPD and depression, and if I had been in a possession of a gun this year, I would be dead. It really ISN'T safe to let someone who's prone to suicidality own a gun. It's seen as a very quick and therefore relatively painless death. At my worst, I would have looked forward to the self inflicted gunshot and release from this life (and I don't even believe in an afterlife).

Firstly, let me say that I am VERY GLAD you're still here.

Secondly, let me say that there's a really, really important difference between "people in danger of committing suicide" and "people with mental health disabilities." Not everyone in danger of committing suicide has a mental health disability, and not everyone with a mental health disability is prone to committing suicide. It's not that everyone (mental health disability or not) should HAVE a gun, but that if non-disabled people (generally) have the right to own a gun, so should disabled people (generally.) Laws prohibiting firearm possession against people convicted of violent crime? Good thing, because these are people who have already demonstrated violent tendencies. Should people in danger of committing suicide be permitted to own guns? Of course that's not a good idea. But we have to be careful and not jump to the next step of "but enough people in danger of committing suicide have mental health disabilities, so ALL people with mental health disabilities should be banned from owning guns." 

Does that make any sense?

[ableistshit]

Trigger Warning: R-word (ableist slur)

--

This happened on my World of Warcraft Battletag broadcasts:

Broadcast: Person A: Moorwhelp [RP Character] just went full-blown gnostic, good times!

Broadcast: Person B: Full retard? [Person A], you never go full retard.

Me: Bye bitch.

I CAN'T EVEN PLAY A FUCKING VIDEO GAME WITHOUT ABLEISM.

Optional extra tag: ableist shit people in a video game say

[ableistshit]

I don't see the problem with the viewpoint of "All blacks should be kicked out of the country." What's wrong with that?

I don't see the problem with the viewpoint of "All bigoted assholes should be kicked off the internet." What's wrong with that?

[ableistshit]

Because it's a different point of view and needs to be respected. That's what makes America great, that we have different points of view.

There is such a thing as an invalid "point of view"

Ex. "all Blacks should be kicked out of the country"

"gays should all die"

Invalid points of view

Your argument is invalid

[ableistshit]

But I can't say that or else they'll put me in a straitjacket and take me away to a mental hospital

Renowned democratic activist who led a movement that toppled a totalitarian regime

SO BASICALLY I CAN'T EVEN GO AND HEAR SPEECHES FROM PEOPLE WHO SHOULD BE ADMIRABLE AND RESPECTABLE WITHOUT ABLEISM AS PEOPLE SIT THERE AND MAKE FUN OF INSTITUTIONS AND THE HORRIBLE ABUSES THAT HAPPEN THERE WTF ARE YOU SERIOUS

[ableistshit]

See? I was right. Deaf people are incapable of acting like adults.

See? I was right. Ableist assholes are incapable of acting like decent human beings.

[ableistshit]

I can't hire you cause you're blind. You need to be able to see to know what the perfumes are!

ORLLYNAO 

Do I need to be able to see to know how to kick you in the genitals?

[ableistshit]

"How do you know if someone has autism or aspergers? Like is there a list somewhere?...Can't we force them to register themselves somewhere on campus so that we know?"

I CAN'T EVEN COMPLETE AN RA TRAINING SESSION ABOUT DISABILITY SERVICES WITHOUT ABLEISM (and nazi ideals)?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WTF?

(it wouldn't let me submit a quote, hope this is okay)

[ableistshit]

Trigger Warning: Extreme ableism I'm pro-life, except I would have an abortion if I found out my baby was disabled.

Oh right because disabled people aren't really people

(for the record, I'm pro-life, and you are a hypocritical, ableist piece of shit asshole)

[ableistshit]

I don't think having a fear or discomfort around other people with disabilities is necessarily ableist. Personally, it's always been an issue of sensory stimulation; most people I've met who are on the spectrum are incredibly loud, talk at me a lot when I don't want to talk, and don't pick up on my signals that I'm uncomfortable. I'm guilty of the same things, and I relate to them. But because of my autism, interaction with other autistics is pretty uncomfortable outside of Tumblr.

If the discomfort is because the person is disabled, then that's ableist. If the discomfort is because the particular person does X thing that creates an access issue for you, then no, that's not ableist. It's just conflicting access needs.