I ended up having a really interesting conversation with some people at the bus stop today. They were getting out of some sort of āclean and soberā meeting and had starting saying how they were so bored because they didnāt have anything to do, and had to stay at home because all their old friends would pull them back. So I said something like, āSo this is the time to do all the stuff your parents told you they didnāt have money/time for!ā āWhatcha mean?ā āYou know, like when you were five and you REALLY wanted to have that toy or do that thing and you were like, āPlease mom please I gotta have this I gotta go do thisā and they went āHell no you think Iām paying for that do you want to goddamn EAT?ā ā And this light went on in their eyes. The lady is going to go check thrift stores for an Easybake Oven and I told her about Wilton cake decorating classes. The dude is going to Griffith Park and ride horses, because, āI always wanted to be a cowboy, and you canāt drink when youāre on a horse ācause youāll fucking die!ā Fuck it. This is what being an adult is. Sure itās bills and work and relationships, but damn it, itās also time to do the things you LIKE. I signed up for a free class/lecture on Water Gardens. Iām going. Itās time.
Jill. Jill you are wonderful.
no joke, this is such an important aspect of overcoming trauma. I mean the trauma of abusive parents, the trauma of broke ass parents who got toxic because of it, the trauma of capitalism. Like fuck it. Go to Wrestlemania. Build a shit ton of terrariums.
This was such a big moment in getting sober for me. Something I was terrified of when I was still an alcoholic about getting sober is not knowing who I was if I wasnāt this. In the end, I did it scared and fully believing that i wouldnāt be anything on the others idea, only to realise that I could finally do everything Iād dreamed of as a child because I wasnāt broke and drunk anymore.


















