Not sure what to dress up as this Halloween? Here are some costume ideas for each sign!
Aries – Pennywise (1990): dress up as Tim Curry’s Pennywise and whisper to each Bill Skarsgård Pennywise, “How dare you.” If you’re a woman, Sexy Pennywise.
Taurus – Costco Sample: sit in a giant paper sample cup and keep shouting, “Try me!” If you’re a woman, Sexy Costco Sample.
Gemini – Face: be naked so your nips are the eyes, your belly button is the surprised mouth, and your dick swinging in the wind is your chin. If you’re a woman, Sexy Dick Swinging in the Wind.
Cancer – Sloth: just stay at home and hang off of your bedpost. If you’re a woman, Sexy Bedpost.
Leo – Cat Toy: dress as something fuzzy that squeaks or jingles and have a friend that is dressed as a cat intermittently mess with you and ignore you completely. If you’re a woman, Sexy Cat Toy.
Virgo – Taco: fill yourself up with meat, cheese, lettuce, and tomatoes and then tell everyone your butt is a taco shell. If you’re a woman, Sexy Butt Taco Shell.
Libra – Diarrhea: wear camouflage and carry around Gatorade. If you’re a woman, Sexy Diarrhea.
Scorpio – Instagram Story: dress however you want but limit your interactions to 15 seconds each. If you’re a woman, Sexy Instagram Story.
Sagittarius – Hair extension: wear a bodysuit in one colour and try to attach yourself to someone whose hair is that colour. If you’re a woman, Sexy Hair Extension.
Capricorn – Stray Hair: kind of like the hair extension but dress in black and have a friend follow you around with a comically large pair of tweezers that they squeeze on you every time you touch someone. If you’re a woman, Sexy Stray Hair or Sexy Pair of Tweezers.
Aquarius – CVS Receipt: this will be a group effort of you and every single acquaintance you can wrangle into wearing white and forming basically a human centipede. If you’re a woman, Sexy Human Centipede.
Pisces – Ovulation: carry a giant sack of balls and occasionally throw one out. Bonus: occasionally toss out two balls and yell out, “Twins!” Bonus Bonus: occasionally when tossing out one ball, yell out, “Surprise! Identical twins!” Bonus Bonus Bonus: throw out a bunch of balls and yell out, “Puppies!” If you’re a woman, Sexy Ovulation.