pairing: dick grayson x reader
summary: your highschool sweetheart aka your first love shows up at your doorstep on the night of your birthday.
content: ex boyfriend!dick grayson, romantic tension, bittersweet, reader’s birthday, kinda sappy :(
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sometimes you catch yourself thinking about how strange it is that you can co-exist with someone from your past in the same, worn out city that appears to be huge (that is in essence pretty small) and yet never run into each other — not at the grocery store, not even at the park. it’s like they’ve gone poof.
tonight, however, held no space for such mundane thoughts. it was your 21st birthday, a special one to say the least — yet here you were scraping mac and cheese remains off the inside of your bowl with a mismatched plastic spoon, splayed over the couch during what is probably your third rewatch of after sunrise. what’s so special about bar hopping and drinking your guts out on birthdays anyway, when you could just be spending quality time with yourself? perhaps you were just salty your birthday plans got rescheduled to the day after because most of your friends were busy.
screw that, you were having a blast either way, because nothing could dull the ache of being alone on your birthday night than the warm gooey goodness of instant mac and cheese. you’d die on that hill, you gaslight yourself.
your eyes dart to the door as the bell suddenly rings. the digital clock on the side table by your couch reads 12:27 am.
you’re blank, yet intrigued. your friends are spending the holidays with their families, so it’s pretty unlikely for any of them to show up at your doorstep at this ungodly hour.
you scramble out of the comfort of your warm lounge sofa, opening the door to reveal the tall, lean figure of a familiar dark haired man you haven’t seen in god knows how many years.
his piercing blue gaze settles onto you causing the hair on your skin to grow erect and your pulse shoot up like it used to once before.
instead of your heart sinking, you feel it rise to your throat and your body freezes as the familiar, musky and clean scent of his curls into your senses. it’s fresh, like detergent and aquatic cologne — just slightly mature and woodsy this time but it still makes you feel ditsy like it always did.
you gulp, frozen in your stance as he stands there, dick grayson, your high school sweetheart holding a small bouquet of flowers in one hand and a box of what seems to be baked goods in the other.
and from what it looks like, he’s pretty nervous himself given that butterfly inducing crooked half-smile on his face and the ticking of his jaw.
“happy birthday, pumpkin,” he managed, with a small shrug.
you feel your lips curve into a smile before you fully process his presence. the sense of nostalgia and hesitation collectively overwhelms you, but it’s not enough to hold you back from gravitating towards him.
you pause, swallowing the hesitation as you automatically lean into a hug, like it’s muscle memory.
“thank you, dick, wha-“ you shake your head,
pulling apart as you realise you embraced him a little too long, “what are you doing here?”
“i.. well, i wasn’t sure you’d be home. i’m glad you are though, it was a long walk,” he smiled, handing you the flowers.
you hesitate a little before you reach out to accept the gifts he got you, a dozen baby breaths and light pink carnations. he remembers.
“yeah, of course,” he interrupts, as you gesture for him to come in.
“blueberry cream cheese, your favourite,” he mentions, setting down the box of cupcakes on your coffee table as the two of you settle down on the carpeted floor, backs against the couch.
“this is really sweet, dick — gosh. but i don’t understand, why?” you’re confused as much as you’re amazed, because for your ex who you had to go into no contact with to be able to even move on from back then, to show up tonight with your favourite things, wishing you a happy birthday felt nothing short of a warm and silly dream.
“i just happened to remember,” he smiled, possibly deflecting your question, “i hope you like the flowers, i remember you used to hate on roses.”
“i do, of course i do,” you lift the bouquet and take a deep whiff at the fragrance of the carnations, noticing a small note almost buried within the flowers.
“oh,” you coo, he tenses a little as you unfold the note.
happy 21st, pumpkin. i appreciate you so much for giving me some of the best years of my life, hell, i don’t think i’d be the person i am if i never met you. people always say you’ll miss the memories more than the person but you’re someone i’ll always miss.
you feel warmth ooze out of your heart as you go over the last line, tracing a finger along the curves of his lettering — his handwriting hadn’t quite changed one bit. a laugh slips out before you can stop yourself, you feel.. giddy. his words buzz inside your head for a moment, feeling loaded and sincere.
throughout your relationship the two of you were operating on the same wavelength — two best friends who just happened to be foolishly in love. dick always put you on the highest pedestal. he saw you as someone who could do no wrong, and every wrong that you did he’d justify, in fact, he’d defend you and cherish you till the ends of the earth and each time you fucked up he’d always forgive you.
things were perfect — too perfect, and all perfect things come to an end. so did your relationship with him eventually as you both went off to different colleges and to be fair, you weren’t the most stable partner. still, somehow, despite the petty arguments the two of you had and all the rough patches you went through, each time you look back at it you can only think of the good times.
dick fidgets against the rug, eagerness flickers across his face as to how you might react to his note.
“i really appreciate you too, dick,” you breathily chuckle, looking up at him. relief washes over his face as he relaxes into the couch.
“i hope i didn’t come off too strong,” he says, rubbing the back off his neck.
“you ask me that now? what about when you first confessed to liking me?” you joke, an attempt to lightening the tension between you two.
“you weren’t exactly subtle about your feelings either,” he adds, flashing his signature grin. the one that gave you raging butterflies in your gut every single time.
you laugh involuntarily, because that’s all you can do to ground yourself in the moment, to let out the entrapped giddiness out of your body.
“hey,” he retorts, fake offended, “why do you keep laughing at me?”
“it’s just.. it’s crazy, that’s all,” you smile, looking at him again, “i really thought you hated me dick.”
your confession hangs between the two of you for a beat as you hear him sigh.
you did believe he hated you, because the minute you two broke up he never looked back. part of you knew he wouldn’t, and maybe it was simply because he had way too much discipline to do that to himself or to you.
“i never hated you,” he half-whispered, like a revelation.
your eyebrows furrow, something short of relief washing over your face.
“i was just.. confused,” he admits, “i was trying to heal when everything felt unfair. the way we abruptly ended, the way you tried to stay friends but i just couldn’t. i never saw you as just a friend. you knew i always wanted you as way more than that.”
the corner of your mouth straightens, almost into a smile, fiddling with the lid of the box of cupcakes, pulling one out and tearing off the wrapper. the scent of blueberries and warm vanilla cake curls up into the room.
“i’m sorry for trying to play it off like that in the end,” you say, licking excess frosting off of your index finger, “i guess i was just trying to damage control?”
“some damage control,” he chuckles.
“shut up,” you grin back.
the room goes quiet again for a beat as you both wallow in the confessions that were made, ease spreading through your minds knowing there wasn’t, and isn’t any ill-will between the two of you.
“i did get your email last year,” dick breaks the short lived silence, also digging into one of the cupcakes.
“what email-“ you swallow the last of the bit of cake down, “wait.”
dick simple nods, raising his eyebrows, waiting for it to click.
“you did not!” you yell, your face heating up from the embarrassment rushing through your nerves.
“i did,” he shrugs, “gotta say i was touched. you could’ve called, texted, but you chose email.”
“for the record, i was crashing out that day and i was very much drunk,” you scramble to justify yourself, “so don’t go there okay?”
“fine, i won’t,” almost choking as he laughs, throwing his head back against the couch, “but it was pretty endearing. for a moment i thought you wanted me back.”
“hey, don’t get ahead of yourself,” you joked, “i was just in a tough place and needed someone. and i missed you.”
your voice dips on the last part, as you look down.
his expression shifts from teasing to understanding. dick inches closer to you, unconsciously tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear, “well if it weren’t for the girl i was seeing at the time, i would’ve totally emailed you back.”
“a girl huh? what happened to ‘i’ll never fall for anyone after you’?” you teasingly snap.
“when did i say i was in love with her? besides, what happened to ‘i’ll never leave you dick’?” he just as immediately snaps back.
“okay, low blow,” you almost choke on cream cheese frosting, punching his side.
he pats your back, as you cough, half-laughing at your silly little banter that took you right back to the old days. when you’d talk too much while eating and end up choking, and he’d end up having to rub your back as you chugged down some water.
“you good now?” he asks, and you can’t help but admire the slight creases around his cobalt eyes and his heaven sent dimples that form when he’s smiles like that — like he’s amused, almost mesmerised.
tingles and heat emerge in your chest at the familiar warmth of his touch, against your back as he’s almost cradling you now, your faces inches apart. and for a second it feels like he’s going to kiss you, hell, you almost find yourself leaning in.
but that’s just muscle memory, so you stop yourself in time.
you lightly pull away, taking a mental note of how funny it is that there was a time keeping your hands off of each other for longer than a minute felt like war. and now here you were, the two of you, sitting with enough distance between yourselves it could fit a good pile of memories the two of you share.
and what’s sick if that he kissed you right then, you would’ve probably let him.
you quickly brush the thought away, tearing the wrapper off another cupcake, scooping up a mound of frosting off of it and straight into your mouth.
“still got a sweet tooth, huh?” he comments, breaking a piece off from your cupcake and chucking it in his mouth.
“take your own!” you retort, shielding it.
“always so stingy,” dick pokes your side and you flinch.
“don’t make me recall all the times you stole my fries despite ordering your own,” you roll your eyes.
laughter settles between the two of you as you reminisce. you talk about everything — from the times you’d call him late at night and he’d wake up from his sleep to help you study for some stupid test, to the times you two would sneak out to meet past curfew and get dessert and make out in his car.
the air grows less cold and punishing, and more pleasant and warm — within it mixed the fresh aquatic scent of him, sugar and nostalgia.
for a moment it feels like you’re seventeen again, eating cupcakes on your apartment floor like it’s the most casual occurrence, like it’s routine.
but it’s not, it’s something out of a dream you probably had during the nights you fell asleep weeping in bed, clinging to his t-shirt after the two of you broke up.
you don’t notice the hands of your clock tick, the passing of each hour as the two of you talk and resurface every memory to the point you’ve probably relived your entire teenage in one night.
and when you’re almost out of instances to recall, dick shifts closer. his stare is intense, yet soft. almost like he’s saying he doesn’t want to leave, not yet, but he must because otherwise he might not be able to.
his eyes flicker down to your mouth briefly. your heart does a somersault and your breath hitches as he lifts his hand, only for you to exhale when he brings his fingers towards your mouth to wipe away frosting from the corner of your lips.
“i better get going,” he says, after a pause.
“yeah,” your voice rises an octave, as you quickly glance over to the clock, seeing as it is almost dawn, “um, it’s late.”
he opens his mouth to say something but decides otherwise.
“i’m glad you came, dick,” you exhale, turning towards him again, “it was spontaneous, but i appreciate it. i appreciate you.”
“i know. i just.. i was contemplating whether i should or shouldn’t, so alfred pushed me to show up. i was nervous as shit,” he lets out a huff, looking back at you.
“yeah, he said it’s been a while and it’d be alright by now to take a step like that,” he adds, “and well, i wanted to.”
“thank you, dick,” you smile, lifting your hand to place it above his on the floor.
you walk him to the door, and for a moment you two linger at the frame.
“happy birthday, love,” he says, — the mention of your old pet name gnawing at your chest just a little.
and before you know it, the night’s over, streaks of light from the sunrise peaks through your curtains with dick now long gone. and you — you’re still on the floor, head resting against the couch, staring at the cake crumbs across the coffee table and the empty spot beside you. and somewhere along your mental debrief of what just happened — you fall asleep, his scent still clinging to the air around you, wishing it didn’t.
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a/n: can y’all tell how self indulgent this is (based on what happened on my birthday last month btw ❤️) i could’ve poured my SOUL into this but i’ve gotten so busy cause of uni <\3