Birthmother Story

Being a Birthmother and a Mother is hard. My children are my world even though one is not with me I wish to God he was.

[abrokenlostsoul]

Its been a long time tumbler...my boy will be 2 in december and tomorrow i have a 3 month old. Where has the time gone

[abrokenlostsoul]

An Open Letter To The Family I Picked

To the family that I picked to raise my son is would like to start off by saying thank you for taking my son in and loving him. Though I will always love him more than you ever will I just want to thank you for being there for him. On the other hand I want you to finally understand something. You make me feel used and like I am some kind of trash. You cut me off from seeing pictures of him and won't update me on how he is doing. You lied to me and made all these promises that you are not keeping. You have taken an already broken and hurt girl and completely crushed her. I gave you my flesh and blood. I carried him for 9 months and I pushed him out. I did all of this and so much more for him and yet you sit on your made up thrown taking all the praise in the world. No he doesn't look anything like you he looks just like me! He's beautiful because of me and his father not you! You don't see what you are doing. You get told "your son's so cute" "he looks just like you" and I get told what a waste I am. How I'm trash because I picked YOU! You don't respond to my emails and I'm not stupid I know you get them and read them. You cut out my son's true family and don't even think about how me feel or how this is going to look later on to him. You make me feel used. Remember when you where younger and that boy used you or a friend did? That is how you make me feel. You told me everything I wanted to hear you lied to me and then when it had been just 1 year you cut me out. YOUR A BITCH AND HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE PUTTING ME THROUGH! If you truly love and care about MY SON you will let his REAL FAMILY be apart of his life and you let him get to know HIS BABY SISTER!

[abrokenlostsoul]

Hard times

Seems my son's adoptive family is cutting us out for good so I may never be posting again. I can't take the thought of after I was never told that by giving him health insurance I would never be able to see him. I am sick and depressed by the way they all lied to me. If he asks me years later why I didn't try to be there is will make damn sure that he knows this was not my wish. He will know that my parents are taking his adoptive family to court and that I am moving to Montana to start a new life where I don't look around and feel depressed because of this. I can't stay sad forever and with my boyfriend on deployment it is hard but when he gets back we will be heading out to his home town and starting our life and family. We both have been through hell and this is where I draw the line and say I'm done with this fight. So if I never post again just know that I am trying to be a better person and that I am putting my family first. I may never get to see you now Hunter but I will ALWAYS love you! Screw your so called parents and everything they stand for they are fake and I dislike them with all my being right now because they refuse to let me see you. I'm sorry you will never meet your little brother or sister blame them not me.

[abrokenlostsoul]

Feeling weird tonight. I feel empty yet I'm happy. My bestfriend/boyfriend is finally home and he's making me happy as ever but still I feel like I am missing something. I am missing something I'm missing Hunter in my life and I want nothing more than to hold my son. I'm just....it's not my night tonight.

[abrokenlostsoul]

It's been a wild first year for my son. I can't wait to see what else is in store for his life

[abrokenlostsoul]

Hard choice at hand

I have been thinking it over hard and I think I want to get my family together soon and tell them everything. I'm not sure though because I don't want to deal with the judgment and the million questions and the wanting to go see him. It would break my heart. I just have no idea and the fact I want to say something scares me....

[confessionsofbirthmothers]

Trigger Warning near the end of this short video.  The next time you wonder what it is like.  What it feels like to be a birthmom…  Here it is.  This is what it feels like.  

[afth-org]

Understand what it feels like to be a birthmother through this process.

[abrokenlostsoul]

This...I feel this everyday of my life

[abrokenlostsoul]

A year later...

It has been a year already. I can't believe that just a year ago I started this new chapter in my life and became a birthmother. It has been one crazy stressful yet exciting year. I know in the years to come things could get harder or things could change but as of now with my amazing boyfriend by my side I feel like I could take on the world. Happy one year to my baby boy Hunter Edward. Momma loves you and wishes you the best in years to come!!

[abrokenlostsoul]

11 months my baby is almost 1year old!! I have no idea how fast time flues tell I see a new picture of him. With the mess of a life I have been in this update really brought me to tears. I got into a big fight with a bunch of ladies on facebook because they said that what I did was wrong and that I am evil and made me feel worthless. The whole time I am dealing with my boyfriend being on deployment and he is the only one that I want to speak with yet I couldn't. It was a really hard 2 weeks without him here to help me through it all. The night he came home I got the update and I broke down in tears in his arms. I havent been able to get myself to email my sons parents because of the things ive been going through I dont think they would understand that some of the things they have kept me out of and not answered me on has made me feel that way....I dont want them to get mad at me. I just dont know.

[abrokenlostsoul]

10 months! My baby is so cute!! I just wish is Amom and Adad would keep to there word and send me updates. 2months without one and I am so upset. I was all important to them tell everything was final in papers that he is theres. I hate this but I love him.

[karrieshell]

[confessionsofbirthmothers]

I have found this to be true.

[ptork66]

Ergh. Can we please stop putting people who had nothing to do with the creation of the child on the birth certificate? Please? And stop bloody using the damn thing as a parental rights documents. AALKD;JFS Granted, having ALL on instead of straight up lying is a half step forward, but still. So obnoxious. I just hope the BIRTH certificate makes it very clear who did and didn’t have actual involvement with the creation and birth of the child.

And while those sorts of laws may be sort of progressive, adoption laws are still in the fucking dark ages. APs can STILL change the adoptee’s name even without consent, the law STILL has disclosure vetoes, and adoptees’ birth certificates are STILL falsified and sealed.

So until you “progressives” become progressive on all fronts (and fix your I MUST BE ON THE BC EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BIRTH OF MY CHILD obsession), screw you all.

[brandx]

It’s always a bit of a mindjob, knowing that people who had NOTHING to do with my birth are listed on my legal birth certificate

meanwhile the people I was actually born to are erased from it entirely (even though the adoption agencies knew exactly who they were at the time of my adoption) and relegated to a birth certificate that for all intents/purposes is ‘illegitimate’. X

[abrokenlostsoul]

This has me in between a rock and a hard place. I hate that I am taken from my aons birth certificate. Blood he is mine I carried him I gave birth to him I felt him in me I had the pains the cravings not his parents. Yet looking at it from my cousins place (who are both adopted 1 closed the other open) I understand why. I also understand someone wanting to be on the birth certificate my father being one that would only marry my mother if he was placed as the father on my sisters birth certificate. I dont truly know where I stand. Where do you stand? Please share with me I am so confused and torn...

[abrokenlostsoul]

2 days away from 10months and I am a mess. I cant seem to keep it together anymore and it is driving me nuts. I wish things wouldnt be this hard this fast. I dont like it one bit...

[abrokenlostsoul]

Sad days have hit

I have gone awall for sometime because of things doing down hill in my life. I havent really been happy tell about a minth ago when my BestFriend came back into my life. I now live with my BestFriend and I couldnt be happier. He makes sure that I am never sad and he fully understands what I am going through. He is the one person I can truly open up to about all of this and how it makes me feel. I dont have a boyfrirnd because he decided that how this effected me in my day to day life wasnt something he wanted to deal with. I have been through yet again way to much in to little time but I am proud to say that with my BestFriend always by my side I am never alone or sad. I dont thing he fully knows how much that means to me and how much I love him for it.

[confessions-of-an-adoptee]

#398. What pisses me off is anti-abortion people who say, “If you can’t raise the baby put it up for adoption.” Bitch you don’t know shit about adoption. It isn’t that simple. It causes lifelong issues to both birth parent and adoptee.

Anonymous (via confessions-of-an-adoptee)

[abrokenlostsoul]

It hit me today...

As I was leaving my second job today I was thinking about how this whole situation hasnt gottwn me depressed like I thought it would, then it hit me. 2 months after everything happened I met my now boyfriend. He hasnt let me be sad or anything like that. Though he has no idea about all of this he makes it a point to be there for me when I need him no matter if I talk about it or not. Yes at times I do get sad but hes the first person I turn to when I am. I havent had a break down with him around. Sure there was that one time I cried but as far as he knew I was upset over family matters to which I was but the fact that he made me feel better about this as well without knowing he did makes me smile. My boyfriend is my rock right now he keeps me grounded and keeps me from going to a really dark place and I love that. Hes my Captain America my own super hero and he has no idea

[abrokenlostsoul]

Sad to say that on such a lovely day I feel like crap. My first mothers day as a birth mom and im not gonna lie I wanna cry my eyes out right now. I dont get enjoy anything about this day just be reminded of what I am going through. After the last update I got I dont even want to wish my sons adoptive mother a happy mothers day. More than anything I just want to curl up and cry or cuddle with my teddy bear and watch sad movies all day. I might be sad but all birth mothers shouldnt be. A big happy mothers day to all birth moms out there