in some ways I think the whole "the sub is really the one in control" thing that goes around on here sometimes is like. just another way of being uncomfortable with someone desiring and finding pleasure in having power over someone else (or, in the case of sadism/masochism, causing someone pain).
because if the sub is really in control then, well. the dom is still just in service of the sub. it's not about the control/power that they want.

















