english-major-in-progress

This is not a study motivation blog. This is occasional alcoholism and regular depression blog. And now, also KEBAB! Thank you.

[academic-victim]

Me and my roommate are a very good friends. Very good friends.

We live in a one room apartment, on one bed. Purely platonic of course.

But, we also work late hours so we decided on a system. Every week, each of us gets two "smell free" passes. Doesn't matter how bad you smell, you've got two passes to not shower and just pass out.

Does it bother us that the other one smells like shit? Yeah, sometimes.

Do we have to clean our sheets more often? Of course.

But this is what friendship is about. To smell like shit and have a roommate that doesn't care because you are both chronically tired and smell like said shit.

[academic-victim]

If I had any amount of talent, I would already be a tyrannical poet.

But I am useless, so whiny backstabbing second in command it is.

...

Any recommendations for single warlords in my area?

[academic-victim]

Working at the Kebab means showing up near your flat between 3 and 6am, wearing black wife-beater, saying goodbyes to 3 grown fucking giant Turks (and one Kazach) as if you just financially ruined Kadir two streets away and plan going after Osman, city's most famous kebab seller and the sworn enemy of every other kebab owner.

I am also very white, very non-threatening, Eastern European girly, so thats that.

[academic-victim]

Good people, please, in those hard times, remember your favourite kebab workers. Remember how you needed them, wasted, at 3am. Remember as they gave you will to live after a mental breakdown in nearby bar.

Remember, that if you're suffering in this horrendous heatwave, they've already been to hell and came back with spicy sauce and cucumbers.

Please, for the love of everything holly, be kind to them.

Thank ou for coming to my plea talk.

[academic-victim]

I'll probably cry myself to sleep today.

As a form or mental cleansing or whatever.

[academic-victim]

Tried to infiltrate a motorbike club (for intel and so I have friends after I finish my licence) and it went a bit too well?

I think one of them is trying to wife me up?

His friends call me sis-in-law? (In my language)

What is my life?!

[academic-victim]

I'm in a state of life when I can't write anything in my flat.

> The dishes are cleaned but there's this one cup that I should clean.

> I know I've reorganised my closet like 3 time but what's one more?

> The shelfs could be dusted again.

> Maybe I can rearrange my transformers collection?

I NEED TO SIT IN SOME RANDOM CAFE TO DO THINGS OR I'M PRODUCTIVE IN ALL THE WRONG WAYS!!!

Plus, I bought a new Kayou Tranaformers cards as a motivation and spent 45 minutes rearranging them in my folder... a lost case, that's what I am.

[academic-victim]

Casually took some time off from the page/app I'm helping moderating and stuff, Bossly almost presumed me dead.

No worries, he knows I'm alive, good guy, told me to take some time off and live a life.

Bold of him to assume I have a life...

[academic-victim]

She fell asleep drunk.

Now I am drunk too.

She puked her guts out, now calm.

I'm drunk on my own. Late. Calm.

It's time for sleep.

[academic-victim]

The long patrol is here

I know you're asleep

Dreaming

I can hear you from afar

When you move

Unfeeling

I can hear your breath

You're restless

Squirming

And so I check on you

Still awake

Listening

My Long patrol is here

Until your guts finally calm

Resting

(You're) Sleeping

(I'm) Watching

(We're) still living

[academic-victim]

Tw: vomit, heaving, drinking, ...

You drunk too much

Bowed over the toilet bowl

And I sit sober, eyes wide

Silently, by your side

A friend in need

I know I needed you

When last time our places were switched

I know you, before this I never was ditched

The sink is filthy

The bucket full

You lay there heaving

Tomorrow, I will be one teasing

I sit besides you

Smiling

I know how bad it is to be a drunk looser

And so I move the bucket a bit closer.

[academic-victim]

I was a human of earth.

I was a person of dirt.

I was a creature of clay,

Now to a monster I revert.

[academic-victim]

I can handle hunger.

The gnawing on my insides.

The emptiness begging to cease.

The deep deep sence of wrongness and void.

I can stomach it all with ease.

What I can't handle is boredom.

The nagging inside my head.

The want of my fingers, seeking to hand

something to my mouth.

My tongue craving the taste of something new.

The boredom is welding my wraith.

And there's nothing for me to do.

[academic-victim]

My coworker is so sweet. He made himself a pizza for dinner and he left half of it without chilli just so I can take a piece. 💙

[academic-victim]

I take back everything good I've ever said about him. He just called me BOSS in front of the customers.

I'm not his boss.

This counts as a great insult in our job.

Unforgivable...

[academic-victim]

My coworker is so sweet. He made himself a pizza for dinner and he left half of it without chilli just so I can take a piece. 💙

[academic-victim]

Why do people always come at ass o'clock before closing and request stuff like I like to move it?

I'm not sane enough to move it move it right now, let me close and go to sleep. Please.

[academic-victim]

I just decided that after a 10 hour long night shift, a singular beer is what is going to fuel me for the rest of the day.

The fridge us full.