english-major-in-progress

This is not a study motivation blog. This is occasional alcoholism and regular depression blog. Thank you.

[academic-victim]

I'll probably cry myself to sleep today.

As a form or mental cleansing or whatever.

[academic-victim]

Tried to infiltrate a motorbike club (for intel and so I have friends after I finish my licence) and it went a bit too well?

I think one of them is trying to wife me up?

His friends call me sis-in-law? (In my language)

What is my life?!

[academic-victim]

I'm in a state of life when I can't write anything in my flat.

> The dishes are cleaned but there's this one cup that I should clean.

> I know I've reorganised my closet like 3 time but what's one more?

> The shelfs could be dusted again.

> Maybe I can rearrange my transformers collection?

I NEED TO SIT IN SOME RANDOM CAFE TO DO THINGS OR I'M PRODUCTIVE IN ALL THE WRONG WAYS!!!

Plus, I bought a new Kayou Tranaformers cards as a motivation and spent 45 minutes rearranging them in my folder... a lost case, that's what I am.

[academic-victim]

Casually took some time off from the page/app I'm helping moderating and stuff, Bossly almost presumed me dead.

No worries, he knows I'm alive, good guy, told me to take some time off and live a life.

Bold of him to assume I have a life...

[academic-victim]

She fell asleep drunk.

Now I am drunk too.

She puked her guts out, now calm.

I'm drunk on my own. Late. Calm.

It's time for sleep.

[academic-victim]

The long patrol is here

I know you're asleep

Dreaming

I can hear you from afar

When you move

Unfeeling

I can hear your breath

You're restless

Squirming

And so I check on you

Still awake

Listening

My Long patrol is here

Until your guts finally calm

Resting

(You're) Sleeping

(I'm) Watching

(We're) still living

[academic-victim]

Tw: vomit, heaving, drinking, ...

You drunk too much

Bowed over the toilet bowl

And I sit sober, eyes wide

Silently, by your side

A friend in need

I know I needed you

When last time our places were switched

I know you, before this I never was ditched

The sink is filthy

The bucket full

You lay there heaving

Tomorrow, I will be one teasing

I sit besides you

Smiling

I know how bad it is to be a drunk looser

And so I move the bucket a bit closer.

[academic-victim]

I was a human of earth.

I was a person of dirt.

I was a creature of clay,

Now to a monster I revert.

[academic-victim]

I can handle hunger.

The gnawing on my insides.

The emptiness begging to cease.

The deep deep sence of wrongness and void.

I can stomach it all with ease.

What I can't handle is boredom.

The nagging inside my head.

The want of my fingers, seeking to hand

something to my mouth.

My tongue craving the taste of something new.

The boredom is welding my wraith.

And there's nothing for me to do.

[academic-victim]

My coworker is so sweet. He made himself a pizza for dinner and he left half of it without chilli just so I can take a piece. 💙

[academic-victim]

I take back everything good I've ever said about him. He just called me BOSS in front of the customers.

I'm not his boss.

This counts as a great insult in our job.

Unforgivable...

[academic-victim]

My coworker is so sweet. He made himself a pizza for dinner and he left half of it without chilli just so I can take a piece. 💙

[academic-victim]

Why do people always come at ass o'clock before closing and request stuff like I like to move it?

I'm not sane enough to move it move it right now, let me close and go to sleep. Please.

[academic-victim]

I just decided that after a 10 hour long night shift, a singular beer is what is going to fuel me for the rest of the day.

The fridge us full.

[academic-victim]

Pros and cons of studing with your Emotional Support Starscream.

Pros:

- you're not "alone",

- you want to be more,

- you want people to see how great you became,

- you strive to show them you can overcome all the obstacles either life or them put in front of you,

- you want to survive this,

Cons:

- you take a look at the first exam question and all you can think of is:

[academic-victim]

Time? 3am

Back? Hurts

Energy drinks? Finished

Head? Empty

Resolve? None

Hotel? Trivago

...

Tomorrows exam? Probably a failure

[geraniumnecromancer]

So it turns out if you sit in a bad position for too long, all of your bones revolt against you. PArticularlywatch out for knees. Knees are the evil ringleaders. Viva la ow.

[transformingintoafan]

Babygirl is gonna live forever