yikes

lily, 17 // sometimes I say things and people laugh 

[accidentalcomedy-blog]

concept: me, in bed at a reasonable hour, waking up and going to bed according to my own, very regular sleep schedule. i have homework that is about things i am very interested in and it does not take an abnormally long time to do. the american government is very functional. 

[accidentalcomedy-blog]

can we trade donald trump for david bowie and alan rickman? he’s also 69 but unlike those guys, he really shouldn’t be on the planet

[accidentalcomedy-blog]

paul ryan’s facial expressions during the state of the union brought me back to my time suffering in various math classes

[accidentalcomedy-blog]

republicans keep saying political correctness is killing us 

you know what else is killing us, friends? those guns you guys don’t want to regulate.

[accidentalcomedy-blog]

my hatred for donald trump is one of the strongest forces in the universe, second only to love

[accidentalcomedy-blog]

“minion quotes” is one of the first results that comes up when you search comedy on this website and that’s just really offensive to me

[accidentalcomedy-blog]

having this blog makes me feel like a stand up comedian who’s screaming into the void

[accidentalcomedy-blog]

in more recent news:

republicans in congress have been working to pass a piece of legislature that would expand second amendment rights to fetuses. when asked for comment, the freedom caucus explained that “if fetuses had guns, there wouldn’t be as many abortions”. the fetuses, many of which were not viable, were unavailable for comment. 

[accidentalcomedy-blog]

some marine bio reading i had described the eye of a plankton as “single and light sensitive” which sounds a lot like me 

[accidentalcomedy-blog]

i do sketch comedy, and one of the main things we’re told is that even if a joke is really funny at first, eventually, people stop laughing

donald trump, take note