breathe

I tried to bake a pineapple upside down cake once and it ended up being right side up. It was the first time I did something right and it was wrong.

[anglelica]

smashmouth was right… so much to do, so much to see

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[yuripink]

i feel like im in the sims where it takes 5 hours to make pasta and then u have to immediately go to bed

[spectrealenko]

me: accidentally hits my lock screen button while watching youtube

youtube: you wanna get youtube red?? you fucking dumbass?? you really think you can play videos in the background without youtube red?? you fucking useless bastard.

[gobblechopstv]

[childhoodruiner]

[popularcultures]

Britney Spears Oops!…I Did It Again (2000)

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

This continues to be the single greatest piece of staged dialogue ever created

[flirtytwink]

[viralthings]

The woman I’m planning to marry showed me this pebble that looks like a guitar pick and with an entirely straight face said “it’s for rock music.”

[sheepkind]

marry her faster

[woolfpuppy]

don’t take her for granite

[jewghoul]

When you work at Lush and customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese

[bransidhe-deactivated20201122]

this happens way more frequently than you think, i assure you

[stygianzinogre]

Well if you frickers stopped literally presenting soap as deli food maybe it wouldnt happen?

[jewghoul]

who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese

[one-million-cats]

who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese

[literallyaflame]

I wanna destroy the culture of “women have to wear makeup to be considered presentable” and replace it with “makeup is a fun accessory that allows u to have horribly fake purple lips and green eyelids if u want yee haw who wants some glitter on their nose” who’s with me on this

[toddreu-deactivated20191220]

Skin is a built in onesie

[inferioristtx]

[meanplastic-deactivated20140215]

it’s past tents

[foodless]

dont listen gorgeous

[devsbian]

tumblr: these 7 people liked your post

me: cool, which post?

tumblr: these 7 people right here

me: okay i just want to see which post they liked

tumblr: it was the textpost :)

me: which. textpost.

tumblr: and these 7 people liked it :)

[bob-belcher]

[ruinedchildhood]

[spite]

when he texts you first