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RMH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Keni
styofa doing anything
One Nice Bug Per Day
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KIROKAZE
occasionally subtle
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
h

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
AnasAbdin
hello vonnie

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TVSTRANGERTHINGS

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@accioxmarauders
OOops wooops woops oopksdfj Get em here
mr. padfoot
midnight wolfstar smooch, anyone?
airport-related aus tho:
i fell asleep on your shoulder and you were too polite to move or wake me up au
we have the same luggage and didn’t check the tags before we left so i’m calling you to exchange suitcases (and you also had some interesting things in your bag so i’m excited to meet you) au
author of book gets seated next to someone reading their book and making entertaining faces at each scene au
bonding solely via eye contact over that annoying person on our plane that we’re both slowly becoming more and more exasperated about au
you fell asleep and i started making funny faces at your kid to keep them amused and the steward mistook us for a couple au
actually, any mistaken for a couple au
i’m afraid of flying and you were incredibly helpful and tolerant and sweet about it au
i made a horrible first impression at the gate or in line for airport food but now we’re sitting next to each other au
I Remember
For @goodboylupin’s Candy Hearts Challenge. My candy heart was Cuddle Me.
••••••••••
I remember the moment that we met,
September first nineteen seventy-one
And the moment that I saw you die,
June eighteenth nineteen ninety-six
And I remember everything in between.
I remember the color of your robes,
Deep green before they turned to red and gold
I remember the look on your face,
More shocked than all of the Great Hall…
…but less than my own as I watched you fall through the veil a lifetime later.
I remember late nights and laughter,
Stolen kisses and hugs
Awkward fumblings of our limbs still growing beneath the tangle of the sheets,
And later once we’d accepted and deigned to understand our desires
More urgent grabs and thrusts and full claims of each other.
I remember telling our friends,
And how not surprised they were
How we had the support of everyone around us,
Until we didn’t…
…and you went away.
I remember when I saw you again that second first time,
Long gone was your smile, your perfect hair, and skin
But you were radiant just the same,
Standing across from me, arms open waiting to welcome me home
Not knowing if I’d willingly wander back to you.
And I did and I remember,
The feeling of that warm embrace despite us both being so cold.
Cold from years away from each other,
Years spent fretting over all that we had done wrong
Lingering occasionally on the things that we had done oh so right.
I remember you now even though you are gone,
And I will take you with me everywhere until my dying breath.
I will smell you on my clothes, our sheets, in the dog hair still clinging to the rug
I will see you in every photograph and hear you in every song
And if I think and wish hard enough
I will feel you…
…as you cuddle me in my sleep.
Marlene: Wait, I thought you were in a throuple with Sirius AND James.
Remus: Oh, no no no. Sirius is my Sugar Daddy, and James is my Sugar Buddy.
Marlene: …what the fuck.
Remus: It’s really not that complicated. They both give me money cuz they inherited too much, and in return I give them things they can’t get elsewhere. I give Sirius sex and cuddles and I give James the opportunity to buy me books, food, and candy.
Marlene: Why would James want to do that?
Remus: I don’t know, but it’s not my place to kink shame him.
Sirius: Harry just asked where babies come from.
Remus: He’s too young! Tell him the stork.
[ later ]
Sirius: Your mom fucked a stork.
Proposal Mountain
A Credit No Credit sequel, 2.7k words, rated Teen
A few years out of grad school, and with a successful relationship between them, Sirius and Remus are both thinking about marriage. They’re also thinking about the proper way to drive, park, cut tomatoes, and annoy the hell out of each other (out of love, of course).
Sneak attack! I wrote a short sequel to Credit No Credit and just posted it on AO3 with no preamble. Gotta keep them on their toes somehow…
Read it here on AO3
Sirius tattooing Remus’ name somewhere on him is my new kink.
Sirius Black is emotionally and academically intelligent
To celebrate the start of Scorpio season and in honour of our bestie, I have planned 3 metas about what I think are common misconceptions around his character. And here is number 2.
A common mischaracterisation of him is that he’s not very clever and when at school he needs to copy homework from other people.
1.0 Sirius at school
When recounting Sirius’s school days, several characters mention how clever/brilliant he was. In particular, queen Mcgonagall says:
‘ Precisely,” said Professor McGonagall. “Black and Potter. Ringleaders of their little gang. Both very bright, of course — exceptionally bright, in fact.’ PoA
McGonagall never gives praise lightly and in fact at this moment she thinks Sirius is a mass murderer. Even when she appears to be fond of a student, she’s very realistic about their academic ability and in HBP she says the following to Neville,
‘“But the problem is Transfiguration. I’m sorry, Longbottom, but an Acceptable’ really isn’t good enough to continue to N.E.W.T level. I just don’t think you’d be able to cope with the coursework.” HBP
So calling Sirius and James, ‘exceptionally bright,' is not Hyperbole.
Furthermore, during the fire-call Remus says,
“Look, Harry, what you’ve got to understand is that your father and Sirius were the best in the school at whatever they did — everyone thought they were the height of cool — if they sometimes got a bit carried away . ” OoTP
Yes Remus is a biased source, but it can be strongly inferred that Sirius was indeed a very high-achieving student, even if his behavioural record had much to be desired.
Also quick note- these dorks enjoyed amateur cartography ‘height of cool,’ is a little strong.
2.0 Sirius is arrogant about his intellect
This view of his intellect is also held by Sirius himself and this is demonstrated by several things during Snape’s Worst Memory:
He’s long finished his OWL exam and is just sitting there looking hot.
“Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake,” he heard Sirius say. “I’ll be surprised if I don’t get Outstanding on it at least.” - homeboy is so confident that he thinks the exam board might make a new grade for him
He doesn’t need to read the transfiguration book, not because he’s barely literature and only cares about his hair, but because,
“I don’t need to look at that rubbish, I know it all.”
Indeed, Sirius is so sure of his own intelligence that he attempts to outsmart Voldemort and James trusts him to do that. I know some of this trust is rooted in their bond as brothers, but James must have had to greatly respect Sirius’s intelligence to risk the lives of his wife and child.
3.0 Sirius Post-Azkaban
Sirius is still very clever, despite having been in prison for 12 years and being in various states of starvation and mental ill health:
In PoA He conjures manacles with another wizard’s wand, despite being 13 years out of practice.
In GoF he immediately recognises that Harry’s scar hurting is a bad sign,
‘ I’m flying north immediately. This news about your scar is the latest in a series of strange rumors that have reached me here. If it hurts again.’ GoF (this quote also ties in with my previous meta about him being a mature guardian).
He remembers how to deal with dragons, despite having probably not opened a book during his 12 years in Azkaban and one year living rough,
‘I was going to suggest a Conjunctivitis Curse, as a dragon’s eyes are its weakest point.’ GoF
He pieces the majority of the plot together, while half-starved in a cave and scrounging newspapers. Indeed, he is frustrated at himself for not being able to fully figure it out:
‘Sirius stared at the cave wall, then made a grimace of frustration.’ GoF
He understands Priori Incantatem immediately,
‘.....The Reverse Spell effect?” said Sirius sharply.’ GoF
In OoTP he studies his hand with interest (which is a nice nod to his curiosity) when he gets bitten by something and immediately fixes it,
‘ Sirius sustained a bad bite from a silver snuffbox; within seconds, his bitten hand had developed an unpleasant crusty covering like a tough brown glove.
“It’s okay,” he said, examining the hand with interest before tapping it lightly with his wand and restoring its skin to normal, “must be Wartcap powder in there.' OoTP
He heals the injury that Kreacher inflicts on Buckbeak
Despite being 13-14 years out of practice, he easily matches with some of the ‘best’ death eaters,
‘Now Sirius and Dolohov were dueling, their wands flashing like swords, sparks flying from their wand tips. ’ OoTP
Dumbledore describes him as,
' A brave, energetic and clever man.’
4.0 Sirius is also emotionally intelligent
Sirius understands emotions and is able to verbalise them. One of the key scenes that demonstrate both his emotional and intellectual intelligence, is the scene in the Shrieking shack where he is describing how he survived Azkaban,
‘ I don’t know how I did it,” he said slowly. “I think the only reason I never lost my mind is that I knew I was innocent. That wasn’t a happy thought, so the dementors couldn’t suck it out of me’
In this quote, he is demonstrating an understanding of the nuances of his emotions. Because yes he is innocent, but it’s not a happy thought because James, Lilly and 12 muggles are dead. So he understands that it’s not a thought that can bring him joy or hope, but a thought that has enough nuance to also not be bad.
' so when it all became . . . too much ... I could transform in my cell . . . become a dog.’
In this quote, he’s showing awareness of his mental limits and he also shows this during OoTP when he withdraws during his more intense periods.
‘ Dementors can’t see, you know. ...” He swallowed. “They feel their way toward people by feeding off their emotions. ... ‘
Here he is showing his intellect and how well he understands how Dementors work. And both types of intelligent merge in the next part of the quote,
‘ They could tell that my feelings were less — less human, less complex when I was a dog.’
He clearly understands the nuance and degrees of feelings and how some feelings are more surface level whereas others have caveats.
During the rest of the series, he shows his emotional intelligence in numerous ways,
By providing Harry the Hogsmeade slip and allowing Harry to feel like a normal child who has a guardian who cares for him.
During GoF, he allows Harry to talk despite having broken into a house and needing to talk to Harry about the task,
‘ I’m — ” For a second, Harry tried to say “fine” — but he couldn’t do it. Before he could stop himself, he was talking more than he’d talked in days. ’ GoF
And to be a good listener, you have to be emotionally intelligent.
3. He sends Harry a muddy pawprint as a good luck gift for the last task as he understands that Harry appreciates knowing that he’s thinking of him.
4.On the dark side of this, he’s able to deliver such cutting insults because he understands people so well. This is demonstrated by IMO is the only time he’s a bad godfather and I will never defend him for this,
‘You’re less like your father than I thought,’ He said finally, a definite coolness in his voice. ‘ The risk would’ve been what made it fun for James.’ OoTP
Here Sirius is demonstrating his understanding of how much Harry’s masculinity is rooted in his idealisation of James, so he goes for it.
In conclusion, Sirius Black is cannonically very emotionally and intellectually intelligent.
Note: I am happy to have a debate about this, but any ranting/abuse will be ignored :D
James: What's with the long face?
Sirius: Remus texted me back "yeah" instead of "yeah babe". I think he doesn't love me anymore.
The Corpse Husband
A Corpse Bride AU
I don't know if this is a morbid take but I saw a girl on Tik Tok do Emily makeup and I thought Remus would make an excellent Corpse Husband. I mean, huge Tim Burton-style eyes belong on that pretty face!
Sirius is engaged to Marlene McKinnon. They both come from prominent wealthy families but have no attraction for each other aside from friendship.
During the wedding rehearsal, Sirius can't force himself to make the vows. He steps outside to talk himself into it, and practices using a tree branch...
Imagine his terror when Remus pops out of the dirt, embraces him, and pulls him down to the underworld.
Sirius is initially frightened but softens once he hears Remus's story: Known for his beauty, Remus was seduced by the conman Fenrir Greyback. The night they were set to secretly wed, Greyback stole Remus' gold and jewels and murdered him. Remus woke up in the underworld, then vowed to always wait for his true love to come and find him.
Remus is beloved by all and Sirius can't help but be captivated by how truly beautiful he is. (Let's imagine Remus as more of a ghostly figure than a literal corpse.) Just think of him in that scene where the Bride dances under the moonlight. Remus is full of pure love and kindness. He reunites Sirius with his childhood dog Padfoot as a wedding gift.
So, Sirius falls a little bit in love but is conflicted because how do you date a dead person? He panics, manages to escape, and runs directly to Marlene to recount the events. But Remus catches them and heartbrokenly returns to the underworld alone, leaving Sirius guilty and regretting his decision.
In the time that Sirius has been away, Marlene's family has promised her to Greyback, who no one knows but conveniently claims to be a wealthy Lord in need of a wife.
When Sirius connects the dots, he challenges Greyback to a duel to avenge Remus. Sirius manages to defeat Greyback, but as he celebrates his victory, the dying Greyback gets in one strike straight through Sirius' heart.
Sirius is not disappointed, however. As the world around him slowly fades to white, he is greeted by Remus, who is more golden and ethereal than ever. Finally at peace, they are able to ascend into the true afterlife together.
Meanwhile, Greyback is dragged screaming into the underworld by all of Remus' friends, where you know he will be tortured for eternity.
Marlene runs away with her lover Dorcas!
Sirius: *carrying Remus' library books with both arms*
Remus: *reaches out with one hand, wanting to help them*
Sirius: *switches all books to one arm to hold Remus' hand*
Remus:
Remus: that's not what i—
Remus: okay
There’s this headcannon that when the boys become animagus’s, they start out as the kid equivalent of their animal, can you draw prongs bring all sad that he doesn’t have his antlers in or Padfoot being grumpy cuz he’s just a small puppy with Remus making fun of them for it?
Remus: …hey James, just remember, Lily loves cute animals!
(ask box is open - I love this headcannon, I will have to draw more)
This is the cutest head cannon I’ve ever seen 🥺🥺🥺🥺
I love this head cannon!!!
Sirius: wyd
Remus: I’m laying in bed, what’re you doing?
Sirius: shrimping for you 😍
Remus: You’re what?
Sirius: shrimping, lusting after you since you posted that thirst trap
Remus: Shrimping???? For me????
Sirius: what?
Remus: LMAO IT’S SIMPING
Remus: Purebloods are hilarious omg I gotta text Lily
Sirius: of course I don’t have a crush on Remus
Sirius: He’s just someone I like to stare at and when he’s not there it ruins my day