According to Jefferson

Thoughts on life with a cool kid.

[accordingtojefferson]

“I friggin’ LOVE curry.” 🍛

[accordingtojefferson]

“When I was a child I used to think that cicadas buzzing was the sound of the sun being hot.”

[accordingtojefferson]

SIMP.

- Lando Calrissian kissing Leia’s hand on meeting her in The Empire Strikes Back, according to Jefferson

[accordingtojefferson]

According to Jefferson, “Bag fries are W” is an ok thing for J to say but I can’t reply “W in the chat, fam” because I’m uncool. Apparently.

[accordingtojefferson]

[Our dog Ty is allergic to chicken.]

Jefferson: Mom, is Ty a Chicken McNugget?

Me: no he can’t be, because then he’d be allergic to himself.

Jefferson, deadpan: PLANT-BASED Chicken McNugget.

[accordingtojefferson]

Me, fed up with trying to get Jefferson to go to bed, calling to them as they finally cave and go upstairs: “I love you, spoiled child”

Jefferson, deadpan: “I love you too, exasperated mother.”

[accordingtojefferson]

Me: Trump says he’s 6’3 now so I guess he’s grown since his last presidency?

Jefferson, without missing a beat: On the X or Y axis?

[accordingtojefferson]

“It’s such a wholesome movie, even though it’s not. Everyone’s frantic, and then they get beat up, and then everyone’s happy.”

- watching the scene in Home Alone 2 where Kevin gives the turtledove to the pigeon woman

[accordingtojefferson]

“Is that Jack from Titanic?!?!”

… I was watching Heartstopper. It was Nick / Kit Connor. Same hair different generation I guess?

[accordingtojefferson]

“PIP and NUT?? Alvin & the Chipmunks from WISH?!!”

- British food items, according to Jefferson

[accordingtojefferson]

“I feel bad for everyone that’s been murdered.”

- Random thoughts from Jefferson

[accordingtojefferson]

Ad on tv: 🎶 Take your turkey higher 🎶

Jefferson: But I don’t WANT turkey that’s been injected with drugs!

Me: ……

Jefferson: You know, drugs?? Higher??

[accordingtojefferson]

These controls are ABSOLUTE DOO-DOO FARTS.

- commentary on Roblox gameplay, by Jefferson, age 11.

[accordingtojefferson]

🎶 “I’m a koala para-a-a-ade” 🎶

- Omobolasire, according to Jefferson

[accordingtojefferson]

“These people’s voices are, like, my childhood”

- Jefferson, age 11, re: Buck Martinez and Dan Shulman calling the Blue Jays game

[accordingtojefferson]

And I was like, COLON CAPITAL O.

- what? I’m speaking in like, text speak.

[accordingtojefferson]

‘All that walking through walls for nothing”

- Jefferson after Gronk missed his field goal kick again this year.