RCL 🐾

'In case you haven't notice, I'm weird, I'm a weirdo.' Tweets by acellenm

[acellemendoza]

stranger

i saw a stranger yesterday, how odd, i thought, i know her name, her birthday, her work, her friends… i know her but she was just a stranger.

[amargedom]

Daily Reminder.

[acellemendoza]

i hate that i have to heal from things that were not my fault

It really sucks having to deal with the aftermath of stuff that wasn’t even your fault, right? Like, you’re left picking up the pieces from…

[acellemendoza]

i can feel u’r a little distant, my friend. did i do something wrong?

6.20.2025

[acellemendoza]

6.24.25

It's my birthday!

There’s no grand celebration, no dramatic revelation, just me, quietly wondering if I’ve “made it” or not. Truth is, I don’t even know what “made it” means anymore.

There is no recognition for surviving twenties, there is absolutely no award for securing a job and achieving stable living conditions, not to mention the fact that surviving the last decade does not come with a receipt stamped “success”, proving my existence has a purpose.

Sometimes I feel okay, like I’m on track. But most days, I wonder if I’ve done enough, or if I’m just floating through life trying to figure it all out.

But one thing’s clear: I still want to improve. Gusto ko pa ring ayusin sarili ko, not just for success, pero for peace of mind. For growth. For healing.

One of the things I really want to learn this year is how to stop caring about people who don’t really care about me.

It sounds cold, but it’s something I need. Nakakapagod din kasi mag-exert ng effort sa mga taong hindi ka naman talaga iniisip. I'm learning that not everyone deserves my energy. And that’s okay. Hindi ko na kailangan pilitin yung mga one-sided relationship.

This year, I want to be more mindful. Gusto ko piliin kung saan ako mag-iinvest ng time, energy, at puso. I want to protect my peace, to be okay with walking away from things and people that no longer serve me.

Maybe I haven’t “made it” yet, and maybe I never will, not in the way society defines it. Pero I’m still here. Still showing up. Still trying.

I think, for now, that’s more than enough. And hey, I just turned 32.

[remanence-of-love]

[remanence-of-love]

[proseify]

If I reblog from you, I think you have a beautiful taste.

[vexheart]

[thoughtkick]

“Apologize to your body. Maybe that is where the healing begins.”

— Nayyirah Waheed

[vexheart]

[vexheart]

[vexheart]

[vexheart]

[vexheart]

[radical-revolution]

[enterdreamland]

9/12/17

My psychiatrist says there’s a line between sanity and insanity, and she says I’m right on that line. She says I’m taking steps towards the right and that it’s not a good thing, she doesn’t think the meds are working. Of course the meds aren’t working because I’m not fucking taking them because if I take one, I will take another and another and another. I would rather go off the deep end then wake up after taking a bottle of pills and realise that it didn’t work, again. I can’t ever do anything right, I don’t think. Tonight I cannot even write right, my head is too jumbled and I keep having flashes of stabbing the corner of a razor into my wrist and tearing my arm open. I want to feel myself open and I want the demons to come out. They have been following me, consuming me for so long, I want to let them free. I want to be free. Am I on the edge? Probably. I’m sorry doctor but I’m not taking your pills, I am not failing again. I am going to open myself up and give myself to the universe.

I am sorry I am not making more sense but nothing really does anymore.