Aces Over 20

Advice, Support, and Community for Ace & Ace Spectrum People Over the Age of Twenty

[acesovertwenty]

is it okay to, if you don't know where you fall on the ace spectrum yet, to just refer to yourself as "ace", period, when asked or talking about it? or, another way to phrase it, do you believe that demisexuals, greysexuals or anyone else on the ace spectrum, other than just asexual itself, can refer to themselves simply as "ace" too? i just have heard it different ways...hopefully that made sense, haha, sorry.

yes it is super okay to refer to yourself as "ace" no matter where you fall on the ace spectrum! you can also use "ace-spec" as an identity if you feel it suits you best

- mod austyn

[acesovertwenty]

I'm turning 20 next year but I'll just follow now

thanks for the follow!

- mod austyn

[acesovertwenty]

Being ace and having hypersexuality. Opinions?

super valid

- mod austyn

[aroacejokes]

↖ This user is not watching "Riverdale" unless Jughead is confirmed as aroace

[herefortheace]

If u encounter anyone calling asexuality a “TMI” orientation that should not be talked about or not unless it’s under Very Specific Circumstances (= with a partner™ ), they r 100% a piece of shit and what they r doing is incredibly toxic and harmful

We deserve better than that

[veeranger]

Aphobes are so scummy

[apatheticasexual]

In my opinion, asexuality that is caused by trauma and/or mental illness(es) isn’t more or less valid. Even if you are able to work through whatever you’re struggling with and say “You know what, I don’t think ‘asexual’ fits me anymore” it doesn’t me you were a “fake asexual”. If you don’t have sexual feelings/desires then you’re asexual, if you manage to work past some of the struggles in your life and realize “Hey, this term might not fit me so well anymore” then that’s really great for you. And same for being aromantic. 

[blaqueer]

additionally, regardless of whether you have sexual feelings / desires (whatever that even means to you) or not, you are asexual if you feel that you are and / or you find “asexual” useful to you. as OP said, if at any point in time and for any reason you find that something has changed for you and you begin to feel differently, that does not make how you felt in the past any less real or true.

the same can be said of being aromantic (or anything else).

[deanandcastrash]

reblog if youre asexual and you have a messy room

[theasexualityblog-deactivated20]

Wait you pay more if you file as "single"?? I just turned 19 today and school never taught me about taxes so I'm low key going into adulthood clueless about everything lol

Yes. In the USA, married people and those with children get tax breaks that single people do not get simply because they’re married/have children. Single people are essentially penalized for not getting married and procreating. 

Here are the current tax brackets for the US:

This is why the meme of ace/aros marrying for tax benefits exist. Because being single literally costs us more money. In actuality, single people carry the tax burden for the entire country.

[goodpositivitylgbt]

If coming out about your romantic or sexual orientation would put you in danger, then rest assured that you are in no way obligated to come out. You are not less valid because you can’t be out. You are tough and strong and powerful for surviving and making do. Keep being excellent.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

You’re not too old to start identifying as asexual or aromantic.

[the-real-ted-cruz]

↖️ this blog loves their ace and aro followers very much

[being-demisexual]

You know who doesn’t get enough love? Ace boys. So here’s to the demi or grey-ace or ace boys. Here’s to the boys who get told by society that they should be all about sex but who don’t feel the same way. Here’s to the aro boys who get told they’re jerks for not wanting a relationship. It’s ok, you’re ok! You and your feelings are valid.

[acesovertwenty]

I've identified as ace for years. I've also been extremely depressed and heavily medicated for even longer. Recently I've been taken off quite a few of the meds I was on ever since then my libido has been through the roof (1/2)

(2/2) it’s been very stressful. I’m feel like I’m off balance. Identifying as ace was one of the very few things I was sure of. And now I don’t have that. I just feel like I’m losing myself a little bit

I’ve had a somewhat similar experience. I’m a trans girl and recently I went on HRT and my libido spiked and I was questioning whether I was ace or not. It was pretty scary because I felt like I didn’t know who I was anymore.

As for advice, I found it helpful to remember all the things about me that haven’t changed. While sexual orientation is definitely a pretty significant part of who you are, it’s not the only thing. I thought that even though I might become bisexual, I’d still have my old hobbies, largely the same personality, and the same career.

Lately, my libido has stabilized somewhat and I currently consider myself ace. In retrospect, I was probably still ace even during that spike in libido because I wasn't attracted to anybody. Things will sort themselves out in time, and if you still consider yourself ace, that’s great, and if you don’t, that’s also great.

-Mod Fiona

[1ugh2345]

Shoutout to all the asexual boys who are told that ‘Sex is the only thing boys want and think about’. You matter. You are important.

[acesovertwenty]

hi! i was the anon asking advice about coming out to a crush u just answered to and i wanna say i came out to him a while back and his reaction was good (considering he's cishet lol) and he even kept flirting with me afterwards hahaha anyway thanks for the advice (even if it came too late) and i just wanted to say things worked out fine :)

I’m so glad this worked out for you!!

(Ask being referenced here)

-Mod Austyn

[acesovertwenty]

i've been questioning my sexuality lately... i've never wanted to have sex with anyone before, i feel like i could do without it and i'd be happy never having it.. but i do want kids someday. i was recently dating this guy and the prospect of having sex with him one day scared me (but idk if that's bc i'm inexperienced) but overall sex just isn't something that i want.. idk if i just haven't met the right person but i can't see myself wanting to have sex with anyone ever.. (1/2)

We didn’t receive the second part to this! (We all know how tumblr loves to eat asks).

But from what I have here I can say that it’s totally okay to not want to have sex with anyone, and it’s totally okay to change your mind later if that happens. Be sure to communicate your needs with your partner and listen to their needs as well. Sometimes needs are incompatible, and that’s okay and you can move on from that relationship.

If you have more info you want taken into account please resend the second part of that ask!

-Mod Austyn