Give me a break

[hapalopus]

The only acceptable ads should be shit like "groceries on sale" and "free event at the local library"

[bruisepoking-archive]

every day i wake up and i have to come up with foods to eat

[toritheestallion-deactivated201]

me at Olive Garden at 11:02 am staring down the elderly people impatiently waiting outside knowing we should’ve opened 2 minutes ago but my boss is in the back cheating on his wife with the girl who makes the salads and he has the key to unlock the doors

[mosticonicposts]

certified iconic post

[satyriconmp3]

[mrfylke2001]

[crazy-brazilian]

[chungledown-bimothy]

[unfortunatesal]

personality test came back negative

[valtsv]

woman in a victorian novel: *develops a fever from worrying too much*

me, shivering and sweating with stress-induced anxiety: wtf that’s so unrealistic lol

[bakwaaas]

people swearing they’re a burnt out gifted kid child prodigy has the same energy as men saying they could’ve gone pro if they didn’t get some injury

[3000s]

who the hell has me blocked on pinterest

[3000s]

a pinterest block is actually the worst thing you can do to a person

[cannibalchicken]

[tittled]

my brother just prank called the auto parts store he works at asking if they had fallopian tubes and the guy spent like 20 minutes looking lmao 

[discreetwithabellyring-deactiva]

celebs need to start thinking out of the box. no more makeup. ariana pc antivirus program, the gaga humidifier, fenty rice

[egberts]

*keeps my cards close to my chest but they're all facing the wrong way so everyone can see them anyway*

[awaytoloseyourhead-deactivated2]

asking myself “could i feasibly parkour in this?” before buying an article of clothing. 

[awaytoloseyourhead-deactivated2]

[beauty-kills]

I’m ready to get spoiled endlessly & loved on obsessively

[evilvillain123456789]

for a man to have a peanut allergy is inexcusable. how are you going to protect and provide for a family if you can barely survive an encounter with a legume? it's fine for girls though, maybe even kinda cute.

[consistent-sincerity]

[dogwoodbite]

[id: graffiti on the base of a concrete overpass where previous grafiti has been covered over with gray paint multiple times. In black all-caps handwriting, it reads: "What kind of paint are you using to paint over this? Because if it is latex, its probably way too cold for it, you want good adhesion, you need like at least 40°-45°. Maybe wait till it warms up a little, I mean what's the big rush? Like, I'm in a rush now but our situations are different" /end id]