GG's #1 Lovely

💗 Hi I'm Zezzy 💗 Cute Cat Girl ^w^ 💗 She/Her 💗 ACTUALLY ACE 💗 I love Game Grumps!!! 💗 Danny is my fav 💗 TERFs, transmeds, anti-antis dni!!! 💗 Ace Separationist! 💗 Discourse Sideblog 💗

[acey-lovely]

I apologize that my anon came off as offensive. My goal was not to belittle you or just blatantly attack you, just to hear your take on the aromantic community.

i rlly havent been in the ace discourse loop in a while bc im more focused on. yknow. the real world. so idk all the popular opinions or theories or whatnot. and idk why people are sending asks to an inactive ace discourse blog that doesnt give a shit abt what mogai ppl think.

but i just dont get it lol. whats “romantic attraction”? how do u define that. How is it different from stuff you want to do with friends. How is it a functional label that unites people. u have a lack of romantic attraction yet you still want relationships? Do you only want relationships after you’ve bonded with someone? Do you need a label to say that? How many different definitions ARE there? How many conflict with one another?

Like... how is it a tangible label. Lesbian, bisexual, and gay have tangible labels. Lesbians are women who love other women. Gay ppl are men who love other men. Bisexuals r people who love regardless of gender. (All are inclusive of nonbinary people.) They have actual, tangible definitions that are based in the real world and have a real effect on who they are, who they love, and how society treats them.

The fuck does “aromantic” mean? In the real world? It’s too vague. Nebulous. It doesn’t mean anything. And i dont rlly give a shit what aros have to say about it. I just want you to think about WHY you think its necessary to ID as aromantic when it doesnt actually have any tangible effect on your life past mogai tumblr positivity posts.

[acey-lovely]

someone’s big mad <3

[brittlebonesart]

oh word?

[acey-lovely]

Playing with the DANKEST Resin - 10 Minute Power Hour

[acey-lovely]

when i see other ace people say "im ace and i have sex but im still ace!" I honestly want to ask them: Why are you ace?

And its not a trick question or an insult or anything! I'm honestly seriously confused. Why is it important that you call yourself ace? What are you communicating by telling others you're ace?

When i say im ace, I'm communicating the fact that I have no desire for a relationship. I do not experience attraction to anyone.

But I've had ace people, especially on my discourse posts, say things like "im ace and i love having sex!" or "you can be ace and still want sex" and to those people I want to ask: What does "ace" mean to you? Why identify as ace if you want sex? How do you define "sexual attraction" if its not the desire to have sex with someone?

[ashengem]

Hi! I'm ace, and I'll take a crack at this...

So, asexual means that you are physically attracted to no one. One way to put this is if allos fall somewhere on the Kinsey scale, it doesn't apply to aces, because we're not attracted to anyone physically. Physical attraction is based on pheromones and weird Science stuff I learned about in HS, but have since forgotten.

I don't never have sex. I mean, it's okay, but I prefer macaroni and cheese. I also have, like, super low libido. And I think this is where shit gets twisted, because your libido is not dependent on your sexuality. I can see where someone who's ace could have a high sex drive. In that case, they may enjoy sex. They may also just masturbate. After all, if someone who's allo can have a low libido and still not be ace, than someone could have high libido and be ace. Does that make sense?

[acey-lovely]

You're right in a few ways, but I take issue with a few things here.

First of all, you're right that asexuality means that you're not attracted to anyone. Period. And you're right that sex drive/libido =\= sexuality, and having a low or high libido has nothing to do with being ace, just like it has nothing to do with being straight, gay, or bi.

However... "Physical attraction is based on science stuff from high school" is... a bad explanation. High school science also taught us that there were only two sexes, XX and XY. It was incomplete and outdated. Also, I don't want to base sexuality on scientific factors. You kind of get into the eugenics area where, if you find what "causes" people to be attracted (or not) to other people, then you can "fix" it.

The simple explanation of attraction is, you experience sexual attraction if you consciously want to have sex with a person.

In the case of ace people who have a high libido, I've seen people argue that they'll use sex to relieve themselves when they don't experience sexual attraction.

Which, in my book, isn't good. Think about it this way: if a gay man with a high libido has sex with women and says he enjoys it, but says he's not attracted to those women, how does that work out? Either he's not gay, or he's using those women as sex toys to relieve himself. Its the same thing with aces who have sex and say they enjoy it/want it. Either you're not ace, or you're using your partner like a toy.

It doesn't make sense to me to say "I'm ace, i don't experience sexual attraction, but I'm horny, so I'll have sex with someone because I like it."

What does ace mean to them, then? Why call yourself ace if you want sex—aka sexual attraction?

As a note, its totally ok and healthy for ace people to masturbate/use sex toys, that doesnt make them any less ace.

[acey-lovely]

when i see other ace people say "im ace and i have sex but im still ace!" I honestly want to ask them: Why are you ace?

And its not a trick question or an insult or anything! I'm honestly seriously confused. Why is it important that you call yourself ace? What are you communicating by telling others you're ace?

When i say im ace, I'm communicating the fact that I have no desire for a relationship. I do not experience attraction to anyone.

But I've had ace people, especially on my discourse posts, say things like "im ace and i love having sex!" or "you can be ace and still want sex" and to those people I want to ask: What does "ace" mean to you? Why identify as ace if you want sex? How do you define "sexual attraction" if its not the desire to have sex with someone?

[yaboitransmeds]

I am not ace myself so I can’t really speak for everyone, but there are certain ace people that want to have children but can’t/don’t want to adopt. Some ace people have sex just to reproduce and I think that’s valid as fuck, but if someone is out here being like “I’m ace but sex is fun and I love it” then that completely contradicts what ace means. The base definition for ace means to have no sexual attraction, so you can’t say you are ace while you like having sex cause that would be sexual attraction.

[coincaster]

Not OP obviously but I have heard SO MANY ace people say that they like/want sex. Like, every ace person I’ve ever personally known has been “sex positive” to the point of having kinks and generally talking about how they enjoy sex and demonstrating that they think about it as frequently as anyone else and I honestly don’t understand what makes them feel asexual if they’re obviously sexual people. I don’t think anyone is arguing that sex for procreation invalidates asexuality. 

[acey-lovely]

Yeah! I've experienced that too. Aces in relationships where they have sex and say they enjoy it, or aces with kinks, or aces who draw/partake in a lot of porn (not including sex workers) and it's like.

Why are you ace, then? Because you don't want to fuck EVERYONE you meet the moment you see them? Because you aren't horny all the time? Because it took you a while to find someone you trust with your body? Congrats! Those are all normal things people of any sexuality can experience! You don't have to be ace just bc u have a complicated relationship to sex.

[acey-lovely]

when i see other ace people say "im ace and i have sex but im still ace!" I honestly want to ask them: Why are you ace?

And its not a trick question or an insult or anything! I'm honestly seriously confused. Why is it important that you call yourself ace? What are you communicating by telling others you're ace?

When i say im ace, I'm communicating the fact that I have no desire for a relationship. I do not experience attraction to anyone.

But I've had ace people, especially on my discourse posts, say things like "im ace and i love having sex!" or "you can be ace and still want sex" and to those people I want to ask: What does "ace" mean to you? Why identify as ace if you want sex? How do you define "sexual attraction" if its not the desire to have sex with someone?

[yaboitransmeds]

I am not ace myself so I can’t really speak for everyone, but there are certain ace people that want to have children but can’t/don’t want to adopt. Some ace people have sex just to reproduce and I think that’s valid as fuck, but if someone is out here being like “I’m ace but sex is fun and I love it” then that completely contradicts what ace means. The base definition for ace means to have no sexual attraction, so you can’t say you are ace while you like having sex cause that would be sexual attraction.

[acey-lovely]

I've heard the reproduction argument before, n while I understand it and it makes sense, I have to ask. How many ace people are actually like that? How many aces are having sex solely for reproduction? Or is it just a hypothetical reason ppl give so that they can push their "aces can still have sex!" arguments?

(i don't expect u to have an exact answer, this is purely just speculation/discussion topics!)

[miauisara]

the ace community really doesnt want to listen to other aces that have different opinions huh

[acey-lovely]

Honestly, i wish asexuality was its own thing, and not a modifier. I know there's other people like myself who identify as ace and that's it (sexuality-wise), but there's also way too many people using it as an add-on to their "actual" sexuality to signify that they don't want sex.

Like, I understand! People can still be attracted to other people without wanting sex. And you can be any sexuality. Straight people may not want sex. Gay people may not want sex. And those people exist and they're valid—i just wish they didn't use the word ace to describe their aversion to sex.

No other sexuality has two definitions! Ace can either mean "Attracted to no genders" or "Does not experience sexual attraction(ie does not want sex)" which are two different things. No other sexuality has two distinct definitions like that. Definitions may vary depending on who you ask but they always mean the same thing. Ace doesn't get that same treatment, bc tons of ace people say they still experience attraction, which I don't think is right.

I really think ace should fall in line with the rest of the sexualities, which determine what GENDER you're attracted to. Gay=same/similar, bi=all, straight=opposite/different, and ace would equal "No genders" or "none"—and people who experience attraction but don't want sex should find a different word to use.

[acey-lovely]

when i see other ace people say "im ace and i have sex but im still ace!" I honestly want to ask them: Why are you ace?

And its not a trick question or an insult or anything! I'm honestly seriously confused. Why is it important that you call yourself ace? What are you communicating by telling others you're ace?

When i say im ace, I'm communicating the fact that I have no desire for a relationship. I do not experience attraction to anyone.

But I've had ace people, especially on my discourse posts, say things like "im ace and i love having sex!" or "you can be ace and still want sex" and to those people I want to ask: What does "ace" mean to you? Why identify as ace if you want sex? How do you define "sexual attraction" if its not the desire to have sex with someone?

[acey-lovely]

thats a good idea, i think im gonna do that too 😊 im not an Exclusionist, im an ace separationist!

[acearokomaeda]

Ace Seperatism

Asexuality is it’s own orientation. It is not inherently cishet, it is not inherently lgbt. We can be either, and thus our asexuality in itself doesn’t determine these things.

Asexuality is not a spectrum. If you feel a small amount of sexual attraction, you feel sexual attraction and thus you are not asexual.

To be an ace separatist, you must be ace yourself.

If you have similar views but you are not personally ace, you can still be an ally to us.

[ihategingfreecss-deactivated202]

“Don’t force yourself into sexual situation just to satisfy your partner” should never be a radical statement

[ihategingfreecss-deactivated202]

This isn’t a matter of discourse. If you don’t like sex or are meh about it, then don’t force yourself to do it just for your partner. Sex isn’t a task. Sex isn’t a requirement for a relationship. If you are afraid not wanting sex is a dealbreaker for your partner, talk with them about it.

Sit down and have an actual honest talk about the matter. If your partner prefers to be with someone who is into sex while you aren’t then it’s more fair for both of you if you split up, than to try to keep together a relationship that wouldn’t work. A person who is sex repulsed/uninterested in sex deserves a partner that will respect that, and a person who likes sex deserves a partner who will respect that. Stop perpetrating bad sex rethoric for fuck’s sake

[drpepperbi]

idk if this was done before but it just popped into my head hjskbm

[explody-blog2]

“aro/ace people can have sex they just dont do it with everyone” oh so you’re a human? you’re a human being? like the rest of us? fasincating

[aberrate]

one thing that frustrates me about ace dialogue is the lack of introspection around sex and trauma. like ok, if you don't want to have sex for no particular reason but that it's not your style, then cool. if you wanna have sex because it's fun and that's it, also cool. but so many people will look at someone who's hypersexual and having sex with people they aren't attracted to and going "that's normal you can be sexual and ace" and Not Looking Any Deeper into how it could be hurting that person. so many people will look at someone who's sex repulsed because of trauma and saying "that's ok that's just asexuality" without considering that maybe that person wants to work on their fears. there's so many people who are shockingly willing to assign strangers ace based on how they navigate sex even though sex has nothing to do with being ace

sometimes sex can be self harm. sometimes sex can be viscerally upsetting for reasons other than a lack of attraction. it doesn't INHERENTLY mean someone is ace, and if they are, a) it's not your business and b) it doesn't make it magically ok because of that

[acey-lovely]

inclus aces: aces aren't oppressed?? oh YEAH?? (detailed explanation of a traumatic event that happened to them specifically, proving that they dont know what oppression means)