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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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shark vs the universe
we're not kids anymore.
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Love Begins
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@achakaitlin
The Money Tubbs only comes around every 5628 seconds. Reblog the Money Tubbs and youāll find money!
Bitttchhh the last time I reblogged some bullshit like this I booked a 2k 30minute shoot lmao
Alright money Tubbs hook me up!
KPOP WTS
Hello I am selling all of these items which include BTS, VIXX, Seo In Guk, Up10tion
Photos are attached, please contact me on twitter @ bunkook to send me an offer on an item. I do not have prices listed am just hoping to get some offers and sell them to whoever offers highest. I am sad to part with them but I need the money more.
- BTS NOW
- BTS NOW 2
- BTS MEMORIES 2014
- VIXX HADES HAKYEON SIGNED
- UP10TION ALL MEMBERS SIGNED
- SEO IN GUK SIGNED
-VIXX LR ALBUM
*namjoonās voice* jungkookās english is so cute!!!!! (trans)
this is too real though
SNL has pretty much never given any fucks but lately theyāre at the point of giving negative fucks
You can tell the audience is struggling to not aknowledge accurate this is since the accuracy is the funny part.
I know youāre worried, but you can do this. You will get through this. You will survive.
The Money Tubbs only comes around every 5628 seconds. Reblog the Money Tubbs and youāll find money!
Bitttchhh the last time I reblogged some bullshit like this I booked a 2k 30minute shoot lmao
Alright money Tubbs hook me up!
iāve had a realization and iām sure itās been done before but-
millennial depression:
vs
gen z depression:
that weird group of teens who were born 1999-2003 all experienced millennial depression around age 12 and then currently experience gen z depression
hobi: jungkook will take care of it [laundry]
An old and homely grandmother accidentally summons a demon. She mistakes him for her gothic-phase teenage grandson and takes care of him. The demon decides to stay at his new home.
It isnāt uncommon for this particular demon to be summonedāfrom exhausting Halloween party pranks in abandoned barns to more legitimate (more exhausting) ceremonies in forestsābut it has to admit, this is the first time itās been called forth from its realm into a claustrophobic living room bathed in the dull orange-pink glow of old glass lamps and a multitude of wide-eyed, creepy antique porcelain dolls that could give Chucky a run for his money with all of their silent, seething stares combined. Accompanying those oddities are tea cup and saucer sets on shelves atop frilly doilies crocheted with the utmost care, and cross-stitched, colorful āHome Sweet Homeās hung across the wood-paneled walls.
Itās a mistakeāa wrong number, per se. No witch itās ever known has lived in such an, ah, dated, home. Furthermore, no practitioner that ever summoned it has been absent, as if theyād up and ding-dong ditched it. No, it didnāt work that way. Not at all. Not if they want to survive the encounter.
It hears the clinking of movement in the room adjacentāthe kitchen, going by the pungent, bitter scent of cooled coffee and soggy, sweet sponge cakes, but more jarring is the smell of blood. It movesāfeels something slip beneath its clawed foot as it does, and sees a crocheted blanket of whites and greys and deep black yarn, wound intricately, perfectly, into a summoning circle. Its summoning circle. There is a small splash of bright scarlet and sharp, jagged bits of a broken curio scattered on top, as if someone had dropped it, attempted to pick it up the pieces and pricked their finger. It would explain the blood. And it would explain the demon being brought into this strange place.
As it connects these pieces in its mind, the inhabitant of the house rounds the corner and exits the kitchen, holding a damp, white dish towel close to her hand and fumbling with the beaded bifocals hanging from her neck by a crocheted lanyard before stopping dead in her tracks.
Now, to be fair, the demon wouldnāt ordinarily second guess being face-to-face with a hunchbacked crone with a beaked nose, beady eyes and a peculiar lack of teeth, or a spidery shawl and ankle-length black dress, but there is definitely something amiss here. Especially when the old biddy lets her spectacles fall slack on her bosom and erupts into a wide, toothy (toothless) grin, eyes squinting and crinkling from the sheer effort of it.
āTodd! Todd, dear, I didnāt know you were visiting this year! You didnāt call, you didnāt writeābut, oh, Iām so happy youāre here, dear! Would it have been too much to ask you to ring the doorbell? I almost had a heart attack. And donāt worry about the blood, hereāI had an accident. My favorite figure toppled off of the table and cleanup didnāt go as expected. But I seem to recall you are quite into the bloodshed and āedgyā stuff these days, so I donāt suppose you mind.ā She releases a hearty, kind laugh, but it isnāt mocking, itās sweet. Grandmotherly. The demon is by no means sentimental or maudlin, but the kindness, the familiarity, the genuine fondness, does pull a few dusty old nostalgic heartstrings. āImagine if it leaves a scar! Itād be a bit ābadass,ā as you teenagers say, wouldnāt it?ā
She is as blind as a bat without her glasses, it would appear, because the demon is by no means a āToddā or a human at all, though humanoid, shrouded in sleek, black skin and hard spikes and sharp claws. But the demon humors her, if only because it had been caught off guard.
The old woman smiles still, before turning on her heel and shuffling into the hallway with a stiff gait revealing a poor hip. āBe a dear and make some more coffee, would you please? Iāll be back in a jiffy.ā
Yes, this is most definitely a mistake. One for the record books, for certain. For late-night trips to bars and conversations with colleagues, while others discuss how many souls theyād swindled in exchange for peanuts, or how many first-borns theyād been pledged for things idiot humans could have gained without divine intervention. Ugh. Sometimes it all just became so pedantic that little detours like this were a blessingāhappy accidents, as the humans would say.
Thatās why the demon does as asked, and plods slowly into the kitchen, careful to duck low and avoid the top of the doorframe. Thatās why it gingerly takes the small glass pot and empties it of old, stale coffee and carefully, so carefully, takes a measuring scoop between its claws and fills the machine with fresh grounds. Itās as the hot water is percolating that the old woman returns, her index finger wrapped tight in a series of beige bandages.
āIām surprised youāre so tall, Todd! I havenāt seen you since you were at my hip! But your mother mails photos all the timeāyou do love wearing all black, donāt you?ā She takes a seat at the small round table in the corner and taps the glass lid of the cake plate with quaking, unsteady, aged hands. āI was starting to think youād never visit. Your father and I have had our disagreements, butā¦I am glad youāre here, dear. Would you like some cake?ā Before the demon has a chance to decline, she lifts the lid and cuts a generous slice from the near-complete circle that has scarcely been touched. It smells of citrus and cream and is, as assumed earlier, soggy, oversaturated with icing.
It was made for a special occasion, for guests, but it doesnāt seem this old woman receives much company in this musty, stagnant house that smells like an antique garage that hadnāt had its dust stirred in years.
Especially not from her absentee grandson, Todd.
The demon waits until the coffee pot is full, and takes two small mugs from the counter, filling them until steam is frothing over the rims. Then, and only then, does it accept the cake and sit, with some difficulty, in a small chair at the small table. It warbles out a polite āthank you,ā but it doesnāt suppose the woman understands. Manners are manners regardless.
āOh, dear, I can hardly understand. Your voice has gotten so deep, just like your grandfatherās was. That, and I do recall you have an affinity for that gravelly, screaming music. Did your voice get strained? Itās alright, dear, Iāll do the talking. You just rest up. The coffee will help soothe.ā
The demon merely nodsāsome communication can be understood without failāand drinks the coffee and eats the cake with a too-small fork. Itās ordinary, mushy, but delicious because of the intent behind it and the love that must have gone into its creation.
āI hope you enjoyed all of the presents I sent you. You never write backābut I am aware most people use that fancy E-mail these days. I just canāt wrap my head around it. I do wish your mom and dad would visit sometime. I know of a wonderful little cafĆ© down the street we can go to. I havenāt been; I wanted to visit it with Charles, before heā¦well.ā She falls silent in her rambling, staring into her coffee with a small, melancholy smile. āI canāt believe itās been ten years. You never had the chance to meet him. But never mind that.ā Suddenly, and with surprising speed that has the demon concerned for her well being, she moves to her feet, bracing her hands on the edge of the table. āI may as well give you your birthday present, since youāre here. What timing! I only finished it this morning. Iāll be right back.ā
When she returns, the white, grey and black crocheted work with the summoning circle is bundled in her arms. Ā
āI found these designs in an occult book I borrowed from the library. I thought youād like them on a nice, warm blanket to fight off the winter chillāI hope you do like it.ā With gentle hands, she spreads the blanket over the demonās broad, spiky back like a shawl, smoothing it over craggy shoulders and patting its arms affectionately. āHappy birthday, Todd, dear.ā
Well, that settles it. Whoever, wherever, Todd is, heās clearly missing out. The demon will just have to be her grandson from now on.
this is so sweet. it made me want to hug someone.
i had to
I WOULD WATCH SIX SEASONS AND A MOVIE
Okay but she takes him to the little cafe and all of the people in her town are like āWhat is that thing, what the hell, Anette?ā and sheās like āDonāt you remember my grandson Todd?ā and the entire town just has to play along because no one will tell little old Nettie that her grandson is an actual demon because this is the happiest sheās been since her husband died.
Bonus: In season 4 she makes him run for mayor and he wins
I just want to watchĀ āToddā help her with groceries, and help her with cooking, and help her clean up the dust around the house and air it out, and fill it with spring flowers because Anette mentioned she loved hyacinth and daffodils. Ā Over the seasons her eyesight worsens, soĀ āToddā brings a hellhound into the house to act as her seeing eye dog, and people in town are kinda terrified of this massive black brute with fur that drips like thick oil, and a mouth that can open all the way back to its chest, butĀ āHoneyā likes her hard candies, and doesnāt get oil on the carpet, and whenĀ āToddā has to go back to Hell for errands, Honey will snuggle up to Anette and rest his giant head on her lap, and whuff at her pockets for butterscotch.Ā Anette never givesĀ āToddā her soul, but she gives him her heart
In season six, Anette gets sick. She spends most of the season bedridden and it becomes obvious by about midway through the season that sheās not going to make it to the end of the season. Todd spends the season travelling back and forth between the human realm and his home plane, trying hard to find something, anything that will help Anette get better, to prolong her life. Heās tried getting her to sell him her soul, but sheās just laughed, told him that he shouldnāt talk like that. With only a few episodes left in the season Anette passes away, Todd is by her side. When the reaper comes for her Todd asks about the fate of her soul. In a dispassionate voice the reaper informs Todd that Anette spent the last few years of her life cavorting with creatures of darkness, that there can be only one fate for her. Todd refuses to accept this and he fights the reaper, eventually injuring the creature and driving it off. Knowing that Anette cannot stay in the Human Realm, and refusing to allow her spirit to be taken by another reaper, so he takes her soul in his arms. Heās done this before, when mortals have sold themselves to him. This time the soul cradled against his chest does not snuggle and fight. This time the soul held tight against him reaches out, pats him on the cheek tells him he was a good boy, and so handsome, just like his grandfather.Ā Todd takes Anette back to the demon realm, holding her tight against him as he travels across the bleak and forebidding landscape; such a sharp contrast to the rosy warmth of Anetteās home. Eventually, in a far corner of his home plane, Todd finds what he is looking for. It is a place where other demons do not tread; a large boulder cracked and broken, with a gap just barely large enough for Todd to fit through. This crack, of all things, gives him pause, but Anetteās soul makes a comment about needing to get home in time to feed Honey, and Todd forces himself to pass through it. He travels in darkness for a while, before he emerges into into a light so bright that itās blinding. His eyes adjust slowly, and he finds himself face to face with two creatures, each of them at least twice his size one of them has six wings and the head of a lion, one of them is an amorphous creature within several rings. The lion-headed one snarls at Todd, and demands that he turn back, that he has no business here.Ā Todd looks down, holding Anetteās soul against his chest, he takes a deep breath, and speaks a single word,Ā āPlease.ā The two larger beings are taken aback by this. They are too used to Toddās kind being belligerent, they consult with each other, they argue. The amorphous one seems to want to be lenient, the lion-headed one insists on being stricter. While theyāre arguing Todd sneaks by them and runs as fast as he can, deeper into the brightly lit expanse. The path on which he travels begins to slope upwards, and eventually becomes a staircase. It becomes evident that each step further up the stair is more and more difficult for Todd, that itās physically paining him to climb these stairs, but he keeps going.
They dedicate a full episode to this climb; interspersing the climb with scenes they werenāt able to show in previous seasons, Anette and Honey coming to visit Todd in the Mayorās office, Anette and Todd playing bingo together for the first time, Anette and Todd watching their stories together in the mid afternoon, Anette falling asleep in her chair and Todd gently carrying her to bed. Anette making Todd lemonade in the summer while heās up on the roof fixing that leak and cleaning out the rain gutters. Eventually Todd reaches the top, and all but collapses, he falls to a knee and for the first time his grip on Anetteās soul slips, and she falls away from him. Landing on the ground. He reaches out for her, but someone gets there first. Another hand reaches out, and helps this elderly woman off the ground, helps her get to her feet. Anette gasps, itās Charles. The pair of them throw their arms around each other. Anette tells Charles that sheās missed him so much, and she has so much to tell him. Charles nods. Todd watches a soft smile on his face. A delicate hand touches Toddās shoulder, and pulls him easily to his feet. A figure; we never see exactly what it looks like, leans down, whispering in Toddās ear that heās done well, and that Anette will be well taken care of here. That she will spend an eternity with her loved ones. Todd looks back over to her, sheās surrounded by a sea of people. Todd nods, and smiles. The figure behind him tells him that while he has done good in bringing Anette here, this is not his place, and he must leave. Todd nods, he knew this would be the case. Todd gets about six steps down the stairway before he is stopped by someone grabbing his shoulder again. He turns around, and Anette is standing behind him. She gives him a big hug and leads him back up the stairs, he should stay, she says. Get to know the family. Todd tries to tell her that he canāt stay, but she wonāt hear it. She leads him up into the crowd of people and begins introducing him to long dead relatives of hers, all of whom give him skeptical looks when she introduces him as her grandson. The mysterious figure appears next to Todd again and tells him once more he must leave, Todd opens his mouth to answer but Anette cuts him off. Nonsense, she tells the figure. IF sheās gonna stay here forever her grandson will be welcome to visit her. She and the figure stare at each other for a moment. The figure eventually sighs and looks away, the figure asks Todd if sheās always like this. Todd just shrugs and smiles, allowing Anette to lead him through a pair of pearly gates, sheās already talking about how much cake theyāll need to feed all of these relatives.Ā
P.S. Honey is a Good Dog and gets to go, too.
the last lines of the show:
demon: youāre not blind here ā but youāre not surprised. whenā¦?
anette: oh, toddy, donāt be silly, my biological grandsonās not twelve feet tall and doesnāt scorch the furniture when he sneezes. iāve known for ages.
demon: then why?
anette: you wouldnāt have stayed if you werenāt lonely too.
demon: youā¦ you donāt have to keep calling me your grandson.
anette: nonsense! adopted children are just as real. now quit sniffling, you silly boy, and letās go bake a cake. honey, heel!
honey: WĢ½ĢĢæĶĶĢOĢĶ¦Ģ£Ģ®Ģ¹Ķ Ģ²ĢŖOĶĢøĢĶĢ¬FĢĶ«ĶĶĢĢ«ĶĢĶĶĢ
that addition is a+ :)
THE ONLY ENDING I WILL EVER ACCEPT FOR THIS
Every time this post shows up on my dash, it gets better (and more heart wrenching. Yāall! Stop cutting the onions okay?!).
If ever donāt reblogging this, Iām either dead, dying, or buried under cat.
74-79/āĀ Chan in SKZ-Talker teaser
this dosh money making thing is bs. im calling it now, stop trying to scam your followers for money im sick of it
If itās really all bullshit then explain this screenshot. Iāve had the app for under a month and iāve already brought in all this cash.
For those of you who donāt know, dosh is an app where you can get cashback at so many stores by linking your card (it does NOT charge you anything, iāve had it for a month already and did all my research its so safe).
I get a lot of my cash this way, but you also get money by referring friends (rn itās $8/referral but its usually $5). once they link their card you they money, and if they feel unsafe/donāt want the app after trying it, they can just unlink it after.
Idk why youāre getting so mad because Iām trying to help you out. just take a look at this, iāve already deposited it into my paypal (u can also deposit it straight into ur bank account). no fees. if this doesnāt convince u, i donāt know what will tbh. try it out here
dude whut. how
this is not a joke.
i just did this. referred 4 friends and now i have 32 bucksā¦
literlly
free
money. fuck the haters
the whites are at it again
i dont even know what youāre referring to and youāre 100% right
Sing me the song of your people SOUP! meow! Sing me the song of your friends SOUP! meow! Sing me a song for the good times SOUP! meow! Sing me a song, a song. HEY SOUP! meeeeoooow!
