Rosy Maple Moth !!!

Call me Toby or Achilles or Rosy i don't really mind whatever | Uhhh I do art sometimes | Any pronouns | minor!! Don't be a freak!! | I LOVE THE MECHANISMS WOOOOO

[thisiswhymomworries]

writing smut like

how many synonyms for “penis” do I actually know?

[3tno-moved-deactivated20190902]

and how many of those synonyms am I actually willing to use

[thisiswhymomworries]

tier 1 (most accepted, considered sexy): cock, dick

tier 2 (generally accepted): length, manhood, member, shaft

tier 3 (clinical, too formal, but not cheesy): groin, penis, phallus

tier 4 (cheesy, barely acceptable): [insert name] Jr., dong, junk, knob, prick, rod, tool, wand, wood

tier 5 (ridiculous, unacceptable, pls don’t): anything to do with beer cans, baby-maker, bishop, choad, donger, dragon, fuck wand, fun stick, hog, johnson, jimmy, lap rocket, little [insert name], love muscle/rod/stick, meat stick, one-eyed [anything], piston, private eye, schlong, trouser snake, wiener, winkie

tier 6 (you’re literally a fourth grader): baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, luigi, mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king kong dong, pig skin bus, piss weasle, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollock, spawn hammer, steamin’ semen truck, tan banana, thundersword, wang doodle, whoopie stick, wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun 

[the-haiku-bot]

tier 3 (clinical,

too formal, but not cheesy):

groin, penis, phallus

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[gayfour]

[rottingjam]

gays help me out, also leave your answer + your orientation in the tags

which is best

cowboys

pirates

wizards

Voting ended onAug 24, 2023

[slimetony]

hey guys im making french toast sticks in the oven. I’m gonna take a quick nap wake me up in 5 minutes so i can flip them over

[guddram-deactivated20180109]

Randy its been five minutes flip your sticks

[slimetony]

snnnnzzzzz

[guddram-deactivated20180109]

[billspreston-esq]

an incomplete collection of tweets i consider to be short poems

[billspreston-esq]

[deathliker]

i have some too

[femchef]

Risu just sent me this and I am SO DELIGHTED

World's oldest string of yarn found in French cave

Archeologists say they have found the world's oldest piece of yarn or cord, making it the earliest known evidence of textile and cord making

Ahhhhhhh!!! Go read it! Go read it!! The cording was plied by Neanderthals!!! The article talks about how we can’t keep thinking about them as being stupid it’s so delightful! In these trying times, let’s read about some joyful anthropological and archaeological discoveries!!!

[needsmoreresearch]

Read it!  The fact that it’s plied is so exciting!  For plied cord, you first spin your fibers in one direction (they did it clockwise) and then take that collection of singles and twist them in the opposite direction (in this case counterclockwise).  So it’s a process that requires planning and experience.  You spin your first bit, you set it aside, you spin your second and third, you ply them.  You can’t do it all in one go.   And unless this piece happens to be the work of the very first person to spin fibers, and that person was a super genius who not only invented the idea of spinning but the technique for plying, it shows that the Neanderthals were communicating technological skills amongst each other.  Which I mean isn’t news in and of itself, but this is just one more piece of evidence.

[systlin]

FERAL FROTHING IN FIBER ARTS THIS SHIT IS SO COOL

[spin-measure-cut]

Holy shit this is incredible! The puts textile technology at 40,000 - 50,000 years old; the earliest previous evidence we had was 20,000 - 25,000 years.

And also, like the poster above said, this is evidence of *planning*. I was going into the article thinking “hmmm, extremely cool but probably thigh-spun two ply which is a single stage process…?” but no! This is three ply cord! I guess it might be possible to do thigh-spun three ply (be bloody tricky though which would be evidence of skill in itself), but more likely this was a highly skilled multi-stage process.

Holy shit.

[fractangle]

@dancingalongthestars

[roadhogsbigbelly]

[write-it-motherfuckers]

Person A: "You... have a guest."

Person B: "...That's impossible."

Person A: "They said their name was... (Person C)?"

Person B: "...Fuck."

[animentality]

[lunarlagomorph]

I think ive said it before but you really gotta feel bad for oedipus that wanting to fuck your mother got named after him. He really did not want to do that . It is central to oedipus rex how badly he didnt want to do that. Dick move by freud

[afloweroutofstone]

I saw that picture of Joe Biden finding two coins on the ground again today. His face in it is so haunting man I have no idea what emotion he’s experiencing

Just pure rapture

[mr-ribbit]

what now, son? what are you going to do now? im here to tell you that ive taken your tokens. i have both of your tokens, boy, and you know where im going to take them? two words: skee ball. you don’t even know how powerful i am, you don’t even know the powers i possess with this two piece of silver. ancient magic, son. ancient magic- don’t mess with ancient magic, or you’ll get the horns. just an old phrase from back in scranton. jill get in the car

[loving-parasite-moved]

every time i post about this album it progressively gets less funny

[strawberrycircuits]

tip: you can associate fictional characters with favorite songs. but watch out

[sp1resong]

i've connected the two dots

[sreegs]

gonna start making snopes-style responses to urban legends about tumblr

[sreegs]

"this how we lost post editing and it was still worth it"

❌ False

The John Green Cock Monologue, while one of the most egregious examples of post editing, was not why the ability to edit posts was taken away. This feature was removed because scammers would edit posts with huge note counts to try to make their scams look legit.

[sreegs]

"those are his hooves, bitch."

✅ True

Those are his hooves, bitch.

[fuckmaster-unlimited]

sends you a single moth in the mail

[low-poly-yuri]

[fuckmaster-unlimited]

yeah okay

[rigil-kentauris]

*me, getting ready to hit you with a sick-ass keyboard smash*:

[deadddeviant]

I see your Palm keyboard and raise an IBM Butterfly keyboard. 

[jennifire]

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE

[hyratel]

it’s called “the late 90s/early 00s was a WILD time in consumer electronics”

[lakevida]

fully sober and lucid walking down the street googling "is it normal to get a haircut" "am i allowed to get a haircut" "is the guy at the barber shop going to be mad at me when i go in there"