P. PETTIGREW ╱ peterpettigrcw
“i bloody knew it.” he says with his own snort, shaking his head, watching his friend light his cigarette and hold out a hand for one for himself. “bastard, you are.” he says with his own cheeky smile. he would never admit it, but it was nice being able just to talk like this out in the open and not behind closed doors and in the quiet. it was easier, he thinks it might be the same for sirius. most of their conversations were held in the dark and in the quiet. he never minded it, in some ways peter was always a little secretive, not for his own benefit but for the benefit of others. he thinks maybe that’s why his teachers often found him untrustworthy, but he didn’t know if they just had projected what he should be because of people like james, sirius, remus, even lily were all brilliant and there was just something about peter that lacked what they had. he never cheated when it came to tests, he had decent marks, but he was just more cunning than he needed to be, held back bits of information because he wanted to see the whole thing before he could make up his mind. he reaches out to touch his friends shoulder and smile, “i think adulthood is a scam, but if you ever want somewhere to breathe a little you can always come to my home for a bit. mum’s been wondering where you lot have been.” he lets him go now. he wouldn’t understand what it meant to live in a world like this, looking back briefly at the black estate, but he could certainly be there for his friends that needed him. peter wasn’t good at a lot of things, but he did love his friends more than anything and would do just about whatever for them.
he doesn’t know how else to explain the last bit, he couldn’t exactly divulge what really happened, he had tried to keep it close to his chest, maybe afraid that if he said something then it would ruin whatever was left of it. he never liked secrets—but he had so many of them. “it’s complicated,” he says shaking his head. “you know after i got attacked by mj i didn’t go home for a day, just couldn’t bring myself to do that knowing how my mum is,” always worried about peter flying off the handle. “i still feel the bind if i think about it hard enough,” he didn’t know if it was the aftermath of what happened or some kind of anxiety but he shakes his head as if he’s clearing it out of his mind for good. “sure, but we have to take in the fact that my body is small.” he says with another laugh shaking his head. “i feel like that would just weigh me down for good. maybe that’s what you want.” he teases, hitting his shoulder.
❛ 𝑢𝑛𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑦 , how i ever even got you is a wonder , ❜ sirius grins , shaking his head as he moves to tap of his smoke . he turns to give peter a softer smile at the offer , the reassurance needed even if he knows it’s foolish to ever doubt . he’d honestly place bets on pete’s mom beating his own if it ever came to proving affection . but . he still isn’t her son , wouldn’t dream of taking that title away from peter , even if brothers exist he feels it’s almost not the same — having someone come in and receive what should be yours . and maybe that’s his own upbringing speaking , whispers of rights and power ; but he can’t shake it enough to feel any more than the mere comfort at the possibility . so he says , ❛ i’ll keep that in mind , ❜ and leaves it at that . sirius has been doing better , after all , when it comes to playing his cards . he can see his parents are almost skittish with how fine he’s been . how present . the look gets almost smug on walburga , too . as if she thinks that’s her doing , when sirius is honestly just tired of it all , and would take utter quiet over anything else , lest it lead to the real repercussion of losing what he has — like he almost did . lessons learned , he supposes , from taking more than a few things one step too far . so . he shouldn’t really need the help , or comfort . hopefully . if things keep going the way they are . ideally , his parents never ask too much and he inherits what he does and abolishes the line on his name . regulus can keep doing whatever the hell he wants — and maybe that is for the best . isn’t that what he’s always wanted , anyways ? but that exact train of thought barely helps calm his next one - peter’s answer about it being complicated - the snippets coming together in a way he didn’t find nearly as enjoyable . ❛ when you say attack , ❜ he begins , slower . ❛ pete , ❜ sirius narrows his eyes . ❛ what exactly did crabbe do to you ? ❜ still , however — sirius is quick to shift at the quip wormtail throws him , lips quirking in humour before his eyes dart over pete’s form . ❛ are we still talking about the rat ? ❜ he prods , coming into a full grin now . he refuses to budge at the hit on his shoulder , coming in closer instead . ❛ only if you ask . ❜
