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[acutevisionin21]

Me on Sunday:

"This week will be different." ✨

Monday morning:

My motivation left faster than the Avatar. 💀

[acutevisionin21]

Spider-Man can save New York before breakfast... 🕷️

Meanwhile me:

"I replied to one email today. I'm basically a superhero." 🫡☕

[acutevisionin21]

Society: "You need to have everything figured out."

Me: "I still Google how to write a professional email." 😭💻

[acutevisionin21]

Life really said:

"Choose your career at 18."

Meanwhile my brain at 18:

"Should I have cereal or instant noodles?" 💀🥣

[acutevisionin21]

Everyone: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

Me: "Honestly? Hoping the plot starts making sense." 😭📖

[acutevisionin21]

My career plan at 18: “I know exactly what I’m doing.” 😎✨

My career plan now:

“Let’s see what happens.” 🧍‍♂️💀

[acutevisionin21]

Printer: “Paper jam.” 🖨️

Me: “Where?”

Printer: “That’s between me and God.” 😭💀

[acutevisionin21]

Maybe I should email the recruiter, call the company, and send a carrier pigeon.” 🐦💀

Me after applying for a job: “I’ll patiently wait.” 😌

Also me 12 minutes later:

[acutevisionin21]

Me: “I’m just updating one line on my resume.” 📝

Also me 3 hours later:

“Should I completely change my career?” 😭💼

[acutevisionin21]

First day at a new job:

“I’m going to be professional, productive, and mysterious.” 😎

Also me after 3 hours:

“So… where do you guys get lunch?” 😂🍕

[acutevisionin21]

Recruiter: “Can we have a quick call?” 📞

Me: “Sure!” 😊

Also me: spends 45 minutes preparing answers for a 7-minute call 💀

[acutevisionin21]

Company: “We believe in work-life balance.” ⚖️✨

Also company at 6:01 PM:

“Quick question...” 📩💀

[acutevisionin21]

Job application: “Tell us why you want to work here.” 📝

Me: “Because I enjoy your company.” 😌

Also me: “I need money to survive.” 💀💸

[acutevisionin21]

Recruiter: “What are your salary expectations?” 💼

Me: “Something reasonable.” 😌

Also me internally: “Enough to afford a house, a car, and emotional stability.” 😭💰

[acutevisionin21]

Phone rings... 📞

Unknown Number:

Me: "Please be a recruiter..." 🤞

Reality:

"Hello, we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty." 😭

[acutevisionin21]

Job Post: Entry-Level Position 😊

Requirements:

• 5 years of experience

• Master's degree

• 12 certifications

Me: "...So who is this entry-level for?" 🤨

[acutevisionin21]

LinkedIn Notification:

"Someone viewed your profile." 👀

Me:

"Recruiter... please be a recruiter..." 🤞😂

Turns out...

It's me checking my own profile.