Adama vShamayim

orthodox bt, new mom, nature lover, coder.

[adamavshamayim]

#notkiruv #justagirltryingtoeat

[adamavshamayim]

When there are family events and my kosher food has to be fancy enough for people who aren't eating it. And somewhere where I could easily order Uber eats and be done with it. But instead I have to go back and forth with my family and a caterer. And then when we have to double check with other people that they don't want the kosher option. I am not running a kiruv operation, I am simply trying to eat! If we will be ordering in for the rest of the time we're there why is the event different? If I want a fancy meal I will figure that out at a kosher restaurant for myself. My cousin who's like 'im not sure yet how I hold can you please wait for me' and it's like......this one meal does not need to be held up for that....

[adamavshamayim]

Oh and we also have to double check with every family friend coming who anyone might describe as conservadox when if they wanted a kosher option they would've indicated that a while ago

[adamavshamayim]

When there are family events and my kosher food has to be fancy enough for people who aren't eating it. And somewhere where I could easily order Uber eats and be done with it. But instead I have to go back and forth with my family and a caterer. And then when we have to double check with other people that they don't want the kosher option. I am not running a kiruv operation, I am simply trying to eat! If we will be ordering in for the rest of the time we're there why is the event different? If I want a fancy meal I will figure that out at a kosher restaurant for myself. My cousin who's like 'im not sure yet how I hold can you please wait for me' and it's like......this one meal does not need to be held up for that....

[adamavshamayim]

I don't understand kid free weddings. Arent weddings a celebration of life?

[adamavshamayim]

You can tell from how much chocolate I buy on the way back from daycare first thing in the morning just how frustrated and stressed I am that someone invited us to shabbos lunch and then just now told me they meant dinner and now I have no plans for either because bedtime

[adamavshamayim]

Thoughts around having a second kid.

Whatever, people who know me irl, it's fine, I guess. Nothing here is super shocking.

I do imagine the future with more kiddos. And bh pregnancy was fine and kid has always been a great sleeper and a happy guy all around. I spend a lot of my time thinking about a second and whether or not I want one. I do think I/we probably want to start trying soon. I just ... I'm not as excited as I want to be. I'm worried I won't be present enough for a new kiddo, be able to enjoy time with them. I'm looking at families with two where theyre always sick, or it's harder to leave the house, or there's always some kind of chaos. I do think I want that chaos but what if I can't handle it? If I can't see myself handling it on a perfect day how will I handle it on a hard day? What kinds of emotional nonsense will a second pregnancy put me through? Two daycare bills? That chaos does seem like the meaning of life.

But I feel like I'm going to need a better reason to want another than 'thats just what we do' or 'he could use a sibling' or 'i love seeing him happy and wouldn't it be great seeing another kid happy too' because bad days exist, or even 'we don't have any reasons not to so why not?'

Does anyone wake up and go "I'm awesome at this, I want another!" I feel like many people do, people with first kiddos or pregnancies or births that were more difficult than mine.

My kid is the best. I don't know if I can get this lucky again.

[adamavshamayim]

My family gave me an incredible mother's day and I don't feel like I deserve it. # depression

[soberqueerinthewild]

Shel Silverstein predicting ChatGPT in 1981

[ace-sailor-uranus]

tbh i think this poem is better served with the *whole* picture, don't you?

[lynati]

...Oh yeah.

[adamavshamayim]

One day I will laugh about how I did all of the following just to make a family engagement party on a Sunday afternoon:

- Planned to leave on Wednesday and stay with family

- Was told Wednesday morning that due to the latest daycare disease our kid had that they didn't want us staying there that night

- Scrambled and found a place to stay nearby while also trying to work and pack to leave

- Parented a screaming toddler during a 5-6 hour trip

- Arrived at an Airbnb at 1030pm and took 20m convincing the host that they didn't give us the right code (at least they were responsive at that hour)

- once the Airbnb reservation ran out and couldn't extend, spent shabbos hiding in the family's basement quarantining

[adamavshamayim]

I'm folding 2T clothes that I got on fb marketplace and washed. 2T!! Not fair!! I do feel proud of myself for preparing in advance, but I'm also ... he will be 2 in less than a year. And it'll be fast. And....he's my baby. He can't be wearing a two year olds clothes!

[adamavshamayim]

I've got a sick toddler and a house that we are turning upside down to get painted

[adamavshamayim]

I just think that if you're a young able bodied male traveling alone you shouldn't collapse into the accessible seat and throw your coffee around and not offer to move so that the couple with a baby who are split across the aisle can sit together

[adamavshamayim]

It's a nice fall day and I've got my little one sleeping in the stroller. I just closed the laptop on a temporary, stop gap job, and I know I'm heading somewhere better next week. I'm walking a route I took with him all the time on maternity leave all the time a year ago. If he wakes up, we'll play in the leaves. Everything feels peaceful.

[adamavshamayim]

2 more days at this job. Then Thanksgiving. Then I start my dream job a week from today (hopefully I still think of it as my dream job as time goes on)

[adamavshamayim]

And yet my stomach is a nervous mess. Life transitions are so hard!

[adamavshamayim]

2 more days at this job. Then Thanksgiving. Then I start my dream job a week from today (hopefully I still think of it as my dream job as time goes on)

[adamavshamayim]

I swear this daycare is going to ask about our college plans next. Really, you want to know if we're signing up for fall 2026 to summer 2027? And we've only been sending a few months? And for those few months I signed up before he was born to start when he was 12 months? Unreal

[adamavshamayim]

I'm transitioning between roles and while this is all around the right decision in many many ways, transitions are hard. End of job conversations are hard.

So when I try to comment something supportive on FB and the author basically nicely tells me to shut up, that does not help.

[adamavshamayim]

For context orange is my friend with a lot of useful travel information and yellow is OP and I don't know them