ADRIFT / ADDICTED.

𝐢'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠.

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          i’m moving all my blogs ( aside from one ) to a multi as it’ll help me organise things better when everything’s in one place !  nick’s moving there, as is peter ( spdysense ), rick ( shrffgrimes ), ezekiel ( kngezekiel ), d’art ( mousquetair ) & i’m adding klaus from ua as a muse. if you’d like the url of this blog when it’s set up, like this post & i’ll message you it !  

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          i’m moving all my blogs ( aside from one ) to a multi as it’ll help me organise things better when everything’s in one place !  nick’s moving there, as is peter ( spdysense ), rick ( shrffgrimes ), ezekiel ( kngezekiel ), d’art ( mousquetair ) & i’m adding klaus from ua as a muse. if you’d like the url of this blog when it’s set up, like this post & i’ll message you it !  

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i’ve nearly finished ua nd i may have… already saved a url for klaus : )

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i’ve nearly finished ua nd i may have... already saved a url for klaus : )

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          i’m on s2ep10 on my rewatch & the notes i’m making about nick are at just over 1000 words..... no going back now

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          i  never  knew  where  i  was  going.   it’s  like  i’ve  been  living  this  for  a  long  time   —   𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞.

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“thanks for not blowin’ my head off.” / omg.... jake post-bite

          GUILT  RIDDEN   /   POSTURE  SHARP.   the  words  are  unexpected  given  the  nature  of  the  other’s  wound  &  reasoning  for  it,  cause  of  fight  standing  just  out  of  earshot.   there’s  been  time  for  contemplation,  time  for  scenario  to  replay  on  loop  in  mind’s  eye  now  ranch  has  been  lost  to  undead  foe.   night’s  companionship  brings  with  it  doubts  of  both  actions  taken  &  his  own  inaction   —   were  situation  to  repeat  he’d  still  choose  to  knock  the  gun  from  deadly  path,  adamant  on  saving  jake  from  bearing  such  weight  as  murder  brings   (   he’s  familiar  with  his  own  burden,  those  killed  by  his  hand  impossible  to  forget   ). 

          perhaps,  instead,  he’d  have  pulled  the  trigger  himself.

          ❛   shit,  man,  it’s  the  least  i  can  do  for   —   y’know              ❜   harsh  huff  of  air,  shoulders  deflating,   ❛   how’re  you  holding  up   ?   ❜

                                        *   MEME  (  ACCEPTING.  )   /   @rabbitscream.

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“i guess we’re both disappointed with each other, then.”

          TRUTH  UNDENIABLE   /   WRY  SMILE.   disappointment  was  their  family  motto,  written  in  the  cycle  of  rehab,  of  relapse,  of  regret.   expectation  was  too  heavy  a  weight  to  bear  alone,  &  hers  was  heavier  than  most   —   he,  once  golden,  forever  tarnished  by  past  mistakes  driven  by  a  desire  to  rid  self  of  others’  impending  disappointment. 

          bluntness  a  familiarity,  neither  one  prone  to  tread  on  eggshells  where  the  other  is  concerned   —   shoulders  rise  &  fall,  forcing  bitter  taste  back  down  the  slope  of  throat  in  response,  tone  nonchalant,   ❛                 guess we are.   ❜ 

                                         *   MEME  (  ACCEPTING.  )   /   @tophct.

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          HE,  PAINTED  RED   /   HE,  DEAD  DISGUISED.   miles  whittled  down  beneath  blistered  soles,  no  end  in  mind   —   nothing  but  the  desire  to  move,  to  keep  one  step  ahead  of  death’s  tempting  embrace.   ADDICTED  TO  SURVIVAL,  to  carry  on  despite  the  odds   (   nick,  you  could’ve  died   —   yeah,  coulda,  woulda,  shoulda   ),  echoes  of  a  time  long  past  still  relevant.   months  pass  in  a  haze,  no  company  but  those  with  rattling  breath  whispering  their  secrets  to  those  that  would  heed  their  words   —   he  lends  an  ear,  ever  the  good  listener,  &  in  return  they  grant  him  safe  passage,  blood  concealing  humanity  to  allow  for  free  movement  within  their  ranks.

                    until  now.   trapped,  no  longer  safe  within  undead  numbers,  group  felled  by  bullets  that  carve  mercilessly  into  skulls  with  aim  unwavering.   culprit  stands  ahead,  barbed  bat  weapon  of  choice   —   still,  defiance  laces  brittle  tone,  voice  heavily  disused  testament  to  how  long  since  path  had  crossed  with  those  that  required  actual  speech.

          ‘   i  can  handle  myself.   ’   he  was  BORN  for  this  world,  birthed  in  uncertainty  throughout  formative  years,  thriving  on  chaos.   no  matter  how  pallid  skin  appeared  beneath  crimson  mask,  how  chapped  lips  spoke  of  dehydration’s  ebb,  the  breath  that  billowed  resolute  in  air  between  was  testament  to  stubborn  will  that  had  allowed  survival  thus  far.   solitude  was  preferable,  connection  to  the  living  a  long  forgotten  desire.

          but  even  he  fearless  knows  danger,  can  hear  warning  in  sharp  syllables  that  resonate  with  bold  threat.   SURRENDER  comes  in  raised  reddened  hands,  palm  lines  encrusted  with  dirt  &  blood   ;   weight  shifts  to  knees,  sodden  ground  soaking  through  jeans  in  an  instant.   eyes  still  bore  unblinkingly  into  leader’s  gaze,  jaw  set,  undaunted,   ❛               let  me  go,  now,  &  you’ll  never  see  me  again.   that’s  a  PROMISE.   ❜ 

                                 *   CONTINUED  FROM  ( X )   /   @ne-gan

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    i’m learning to live, i’m tryna be better, i’m learning to give, but i don’t know if i’m a giver

[lucifer-morningstar]

              I never knew where I was going. It’s like I’ve been living this for a long time.                                             And now everyone is catching up with me.

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i have.... three 13+ hour days in a row starting tmrw so i’m gunna peace out xoxo

[lazarusarchived-deactivated2017]

“the last of us” inspired sentence starters

[xbunii-arc-blog]

change pronouns/ect if necessary

“we need help.”

“you’re gonna be okay.”

“believe in the fireflies.”

“got enough ration cards to last us a few months.”

“be careful.”

“i am the romantic type.”

“don’t leave me to turn.”

“it’s gettin’ close to curfew.”

“going outside the wall is suicide.”

“you mumble in your sleep.”

“i hate bad dreams.”

“it’s called luck—and it’s gonna run out.”

“are you still breathing?”

“we’re shitty people.”

“our luck had to run out sooner or later.”

“don’t touch me.”

“she’s infected.”

“just fucking go.”

“i can’t swim.”

“does it sound like i know how to whistle?”

“i’m a pretty good shot with that thing.”

“let’s get the hell outta here.”

“goddammit—i’m clean!”

“i owe you nothin’.”

“there’s one inside.”

“it’s the normal people that scare me.”

“you of all people should understand that.”

“i can handle myself.”

“once upon a time, i had somebody i had to look after.”

“you don’t need to worry about me.”

“fuckin’ hunters.”

“i’ve been on both sides.”

“so–you kill a lot of innocent people?”

“you sacrifice the few to save the many.”

“i don’t think they saw us.”

“trust me, it ain’t easy.”

“damn it—spores.”

“somethin’ on your mind?”

“you make every shot count.”

“just so we’re clear… it was either him or me.”

“how’d i do?”

“yeah, well, i was tryin’ to kill you.”

“you’re bleeding.”

“we can help each other.”

“i saved you!”

“you wanna hear a joke about pizza? …never mind, it was too cheesy.”

“how is it you’re never scared?”

“what are you scared of?”

“i’m scared of ending up alone.”

“it’s all your fault!”

“thanks for not blowin’ my head off.”

“you survived because of me.”

“you lay your hands on me again, it won’t end well for you.”

“you still remember how to kill, right?”

“hey, hey—are you hurt?”

“i guess we’re both disappointed with each other, then.”

“what do you want from me?”

“i can’t get infected!”

“you are treading on some mighty thin ice here.”

“i’ve lost people, too.”

“you have no idea what loss is.”

“everyone i’ve ever cared for has either died or left me.”

“sounds like runners.”

“can you walk?”

“stay the fuck back!”

“i think we’re safe.”

“you’re a better shot with that thing than i am.”

“don’t sound so disappointed.”

“you handled yourself pretty nice back there.”

“i believe that everything happens for a reason.”

“you’re just a kid.”

“i can protect you.”

“i’ll come back for you.”

“you’re a fucking animal.”

“you have no idea what i’m capable of.”

“i’m gonna teach you how to play guitar.”

“another city, another abandoned quarantine zone.”

“is this everything you were hoping for?”

“we don’t have to do this.”

“i ain’t leavin’ without you.”

“i guess you can’t escape your past.”

“hands in the fucking air!”

“i pretty much lost everything.”

“no matter what, you keep finding something to fight for.”

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hey u lil shit. love u don't do drugs <3

          but  mom.….  what  if  i  wanted  to  get  high……

          on  LIFE  hahahaha  got  ya  !

[the-book-diaries]

There’s a loss of personality; Or rather, you’ve lost touch with the person You thought you were. You no longer feel quite human.

T.S. Eliot, The Cocktail Party (via the-book-diaries)

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          i  never  knew  where  i  was  going.   it’s  like  i’ve  been  living  this  for  a  long  time   —   𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞.

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          first  post  on  this  blog  &  the  most  important :  steer  clear  if  you  condone  anything  tray  ottoman  says  /  does,  especially  if  you  gd  ship  him  with  nick.   yes,  he’s  a  mirror  of  nick’s  darker  side  (  with  jake  being  his  lighter...  smth  for  another  post  ),  &  he  does  cause  undeniable  character  growth  in  how  nick  sees  himself  /  the  world  around  him,  but  that  doesn’t  mean  either  of  them  get  a  free  pass.  nick  himself  has  said  /  done  some shitty  things,  &  you  won’t  find  me  condoning  /  ignoring  that  fact.