rita-lin @adhdamnn - Tumblr Blog

why doesn’t it work for me !!

people with adhd after following a completely fucking unhinged impulse for short term satisfaction and negatively impacting their long term goals

stuckinapril

i’ve come to the realization that i can’t perform even the simplest of tasks without music in my ears. i need it in the background or life is unbearable

thenightgaunt

Fuck this one hits home.

whydidisavethistomyphone

Really wishing I didn’t have ADHD so I could read all this

ruffboi-mags

tl;dr - stop telling ADHD kids how much 'potential' we have and pushing us like neurotypical kids.

our inability to reach this purported 'potential' due to ADHD leads to us eventually being treated like we must not WANT to do better and then we internalize it and are traumatized by it well into adulthood.

(there's more but this is the "can't read that much today" version)

pixelameart

clintbeifong

Or idk, at least that’s how it feels to me sometimes.

thatadhdfeel

i made a what adhd stereotype are you quiz

warning it will roast you

abcsofadhd

Self check check list

ADHD can make it difficult to figure out how we are feeling physically, mentally and emotionally. Commonly it is due to difficulty with self awareness caused by our executive dysfunction.

This is a checklist I go through mentally to try and figure out why I might be feeling off. Referring to it helps speed up the process.

I feel off..

Am I sitting funny/ have I been sitting in this position for a period of time?

Am I mentally drained?

Have I been working on this task for a long time?

Have I eaten/ drank anything recently?

Have I been eating properly? Am I craving something specific?

Have I gotten enough sleep recently?

If not, am I being kept up by any specific thoughts/ worry?

Have I socialized recently?

Have I forgotten to hang out with my friends?

Have I spent time with my family?

Is how I’m feeling positive or negative?

If negative, have I experienced anything recently that I haven’t processed?

Have I fought/ argued/ had disagreements with people close to me?

Is there anything coming up that I am worried about?

Have I been making a lot of small mistakes recently?

Have I felt that I lot of things have been happening to me that I can’t control?

If positive, have I let myself enjoy the feeling?

If don’t know, has anything happened recently out of the usual?

Have there been any changes in my life, big or small?

Have I done my usual relaxing activities/ hobbies?

Have I been unable to follow my normal schedule due to any reason?

Have I exercised recently?

so1987-deactivated20230102

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

so1987-deactivated20230102

okay

these are the executive functions. impairment of these functions is executive dysfunction

dr-dendritic-trees

In light of some stunningly Bad Takes I’ve seen about this post, and posts like it, here’s a clarification I would personally like to add.

Yes, executive dysfunction does frequently result in people wanting to do stuff, but not doing that stuff. That’s why people use the term that way.

IT ALSO MEANS A LOT OF OTHER THINGS. Including but not limited to: trouble remembering facts, trouble monitoring time, trouble stopping of finishing things you have started, struggling to regulate emotions (ex. getting very upset by minor setbacks)

And that matters. It matters that we have an umbrella term for this group of functions because they are related, and it matters that people not spread misinformation, even if they mean well.

humunanunga

europa51

Stromboli (1950), directed by Roberto Rossellini

autismandstuff

blogbunnyrabbit

decabus

this meme made me realise that other people apparently know how to show empathy without personal anecdotes

some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat

… how…. please teach me

idontknowanymoreaaaaaa

I’m pretty sure none of us will get answers but please…if someone knows the secrets to showing empathy without personal anecdotes please speak up. We need answers

lil-tumbles

(Me (adhd + autism) can show empathy, but not sympathy. For me, it’s like I do the exact same thing, but as well as showing empathy through anecdotes I show sympathy through empathy).

dragoninhumanskin

@decabus @some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat @messynogenderpotato

I have somethin I guess? I’ve been the Support Friend for most of my life so I managed to get it down to a formula. TW: dog death

1. Ask Questions

This is mainly to keep them talking, that way a) they feel like they have a confidante in you, and b) the pressure is less on you to Say Things. In fact it shouldn’t be about you Saying Things at all, it should be you figuring out where they’re at and trying to understand. E.g. “My dog died, I miss him.” Ask questions, and when they start talking, let them talk. “What was his name?” “How and when did he die?” “Tell me about him.” “What was he like?” “What’s your favourite memory of him?” “When did you first meet him?” “Did you teach him any tricks?” Again the point is to keep them talking, the questions are just to get them on a roll. If you’re worrying about what to say next, listen to what they’re saying and ask details of what they’re currently talking about, or mentally prepare your next question.

2. Listen

Let them talk. The more you listen to them talk, the more they feel like it’s okay to talk to you. If they dwindle off, ask them something else to get them talking again. Upset people usually have a lot to say.

Every now and again you can throw in little sentences like “Wow, what a bitch!” “Aw, so sad.” “What the fuck? Why?” just to prove you’re still listening and following, and haven’t wandered off into space.

3. When they’re done, give it back to them

It’s a technique called mirroring. Sum up whatever you heard in short form - if they’ve talked for half an hour about the little details of their deceased pet, say something like “It sounds like he was a very good boy/sounds like he meant a lot to you/sounds like you will miss him.” It’s been known to make people dissolve into a sobbing mess, because this is the part where you prove you’ve done your homework, you listened, you care, you get it.

4. If you really want to offer a solution, ask first. You can just skip this step altogether tbh.

Only when someone has finished talking about whatever is upsetting them, ask if you can help. “Can I offer some advice?” Now is the time for SHORT anecdotes. Short. It’s not about you sharing your story, it’s about them getting advice. Remember they don’t have to take your advice, again it’s about them and their emotions, and they know themselves best. “When my dog died, I did this. Would that help?” “I read somewhere about doing this. Maybe try that and see how it goes?”

Hope this helps y’all. The TL;DR of all this is basically listen, and prove you’re listening.

idontknowanymoreaaaaaa

Thank you!!!

sgo-resources

That explanation really is so good!

aidans-husband

as someone with ADHD: this has saved me

noc10-moved

executive dysfunction

keepthekettleon

I'm just putting this out there hoping it's gonna help someone else too.

Ever since I got tested for ADHD, I've been trying to find a way to explain my executive dysfunction to doctors, especially doctors who are hell bent on believing I'm just lacking the 'drive' or the motivation.

So I came up with a little analogy.

For other people, starting a new task is like getting up and going into another room. Takes some effort, but it's manageable. For me, the door to the other room is locked. I'm trying my hardest to ram my shoulder against the door over and over again, trying to break through. Some days I have more energy and can break through multiple doors. Sometimes I fail trying to break one.

Telling me I'm just lacking the 'drive' feels like telling someone who's chained up in the basement that they just don't wanna go outside badly enough.

And that's not even taking into consideration that my ADHD makes me easily distractable. Sometimes I get distracted while trying to ram in a door and three hours later I remember "Oh, wasn't I planning on breaking down that door?"

And the whole ordeal is incredibly frustrating when everyone else tells you to 'just do it'. Because believe me, I'm fucking trying.