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@adriana-limabeann
Cats eating corn on the cob.
Via Cats, Beavers & Ducks
wow millennials are glued to their i-phones and laptops so much they cant even be bothered robbing in person anymore!!! maybe these trust fund babies should stop phishing credit cards while sitting on their butts and go out there and put some elbow grease into their thievery!
I know exactly what happened. Because it happened to me.
I trained for years to be a con artist. I told my friends and family that I wanted to be a magician, but that was just a cover for why I was constantly practicing sleight of hand.
In junior high and high school, I would shop lift a bunch of candy on my way to school, sell it to kids at the morning break, and use that money to run a crooked poker game at lunch.
Finally, when I was 19 or 20, I felt I was ready, and I picked my first pocket. I was on the bus, bumped a guy as I passed down the aisle, got his wallet, super clean.
In the wallet was several hundred dollars. A huge first score, I had been hoping for a couple twenties. I sat there looking at the, like, 400 bucks, thinking.
That was my rent at the time. We were both on the bus. It was likely his rent too. Lord knows the only reason to carry that much cash on the bus is you’re on your way to pay a bill. We were both on the bus, you know? That’s not someone I was comfortable stealing from.
I tapped him on the shoulder and told him “hey i think you dropped this” and gave it back to him with all the money still in it. It was the first and last time I ever picked a pocket.
Picking a rich person’s pocket is a loosing game. They probably have credit cards and not cash, those credit cards probably have the best anti-theft measures their bank can provide, and you probably can’t get close enough to those people to pick their pockets unless you’re already rich yourself.
The people who’s pockets you can reliably pick are the people around you. The people who are also on the bus, who are in this same shitty situation with you.
As wealth inequality becomes more drastic picking pockets has very clearly become “stealing from other poor people” and it’s not satisfying. I want to steal from Google and Apple and Fox and Facebook and General Mills and Hershey and Tesla. Not the person next to me.
Wow. This post went from funny to a life lesson in a way I wasn’t expecting, amd I’m not sorey at all.
See, unlike the capitalist elite, common criminals have a sense of morality and empathy.
hi boys who follow me how do i get boys to love me
Not a lot of new stuff these days, sorry. (It’ll get better, or so I hope.)
I have NO IDEA what happened but this blew up while I wasn’t looking, soooo whoever caused this, thank you very much 👀
*writing in my diary using a glitter gel pen* I'm losing my sense of humanity
me: it was just a dream
me (internally): .. or prophecy ..
Credit IG: zelieandlou
Why’d they de-sexy-code King Neptune for the SpongeBob movie?
show me a bigger downgrade
Have you seen the fanart of this man while he was super duper sexy? That’s why they made him less sexy. People were legit drawing nsfw art and it was a problem
I’m going to require evidence of this to believe it
oh you would wanna see sexy king neptune fan art wouldn’t you
It’s for an investigation, I’m with the fbi
My apologies
Right this way sir
why is this being presented as comical advice. i think it’s nice
Daughters Recreate Their Moms’ Looks
this is so cute
Me, about to become the new owner of the local Denny’s
“He used to tell stories about his ‘odd upbringing.’ His famous line was: ‘If you drove a car through a trailer park with a $20 bill on the bumper, my whole family would chase after it.’ But it was always a joke. He never spoke of it as something painful. I think he was emotionally stunted like a lot of men of his generation, he never shined a light on the darkness. He buried himself in his work. He’d be at the office every weekend. We should have been spending that time together, but it was always: ‘Once I finish this paper.’ Or ‘Once I grade these tests.’ But when he was on, he was on. When I look at old pictures, we’re always right next to each other. And he always had a hand on me. He wasn’t shy about expressing his emotions. Except for the dark parts of him. One afternoon I found him sobbing on the back porch. He’d just gotten off the phone with his sister, and she told him that she’d been abused by their father. Mark only had one question: ‘Was I home at the time?’ And when she told him ‘yes,’ something broke inside of him. He had only been a child, but still he blamed himself. His drinking became more frequent. He spent a lot of time staring into the distance. But whenever I asked him about it, he’d say: ‘I’m thinking about this paper.’ Or something along those lines. We all have parts of us that we don’t let anyone see. That’s one of the helpful things the police detective told me after they discovered his body. Am I frustrated with him? Of course I am. We were together for forty years. I deserved a conversation, that he was in a bad place. I cared about him more than anyone else in the world. Was I not even worth a good-bye? But I’m not going to turn into a rage-filled shell of who I used to be. Because that would be the second tragedy of this. Whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed with anger, I just think of that eleven-year old boy. And I feel so sad for him. He’d been through so much and couldn’t understand his life. One morning Mark came out of the bathroom. It was a few years before his death, and he had tears in his eyes. ‘I’ll never shave my face,’ he told me. When I asked him why, he said: ‘Because then I’ll look just like him.’”
I never delete text messages just in case someone wanna start acting different… like you werent saying that March 21, 2014 at 3:57pm.
me saying what’s up to my old math tutor who tried to fight me in high school bc I made out w his girlfriend but then I went to college and realized that my sexual frustration and promiscuity was centered around my denied homosexuality and then I came out and went back home for thanksgiving and went to target and saw him in the videogame section and remembered he joined the army and got huge and hot and i said what’s up Andrew
That sentence had three seasons and an hour long special
Interesting that I’m crying
Her shoe just right for her got dan feet