Adventures in Dispatch

23. Police dispatcher. Feminist. "Do no harm, but take no shit."

[mens-rights-activia]

I wrote a song about my college experience 🌶🌶🌶👌👌👌🔥🔥🔥

[tjmatt]

i laughed wayyy to hard on that one.

[theemslounge]

You have NO idea how sweet and innocent I was when I started in this field. I’m ruined. 😂 - Saber #messedup #ems #emslife

[nitramaraho]

[dirtyrotteninfidel-deactivated2]

Holy shit im dying right now..prob the best one

[christianmetalhead2112-deactiva]

This actually probably is the best one hahahaha

a lot of my faves

[adventures-in-dispatch]

@nikkislyfe I'm dyingggggggggg. The second one killed me.

[babyanimalgifs]

he’s trying a golden raisin for the first time

[heartinyourmouth-deactivated202]

[adventures-in-dispatch]

Me: I don't have the energy for this

Someone: For what?

Me: *gestures vaguely*

[thehornedwitch-deactivated20211]

Don’t be a bookworm.

Be a bookwyrm.

Hoard books. Eat your enemies. Kill all dissenters. Terrorize the english countryside.

[glassbonespaperskin]

[fulbrite]

HOW TO BECOME A GODDAMN MAGICIAN

1. OWN A TABLET PEN

2. PUT IT DOWN FOR TEN SECONDS

3. ABRACADABRA WHERE THE FUCK DID IT GO

[cons-and-constellations]

never have I laughed so hard

[adventures-in-dispatch]

IT IS LATE AMD I JUST GOT HOME FROM A VERY EXHAUSTING SHIFT AND I ORIGINALLY READ THIS AS “HOW TO BECOME A GODDAMN MICHIGAN” AND I WAS SO CONFUSED UNTIL I BACKTRACKED AND I CAN’T BREATHE SEND HELP

[adventures-in-dispatch]

So my dad is living with me for a couple of months because he's finishing his teaching contract before moving to Colorado to be with my mom. It's a one bedroom apartment, so he sleeps on a twin bed pullout ottoman in the living room. Every morning at 0415, his radio alarm clock goes off, and every morning it is literally just radio static with a distorted radio DJ voice. I offered to tune the radio to the local pop, rock, or oldies station so he didn't have to wake up to the creepy static/demon DJ voice every day. His answer? "No I like the static. It's nice." Which leads me to the only logical conclusion: My father is an ET. If anyone had Scully and Mulder on speed dial, please send help.

[brutereason]

I find it fascinating that people who choose not to have children are generally assumed to feel really strongly about not having children (or even to feel really strongly against children, anyone’s children, in general). I am probably not going to have children, not because I REALLY REALLY HATE the idea of having children, but because I don’t really really love it. Out of all the major decisions I will make in my life, this one is the only irreversible one. I can sell a house, quit a job, divorce a spouse, whatever. I cannot unhave a child. I cannot opt out of being a parent once I become a parent. I can’t even take a step back for the sake of self-care or whatever, or else my child will suffer.

So for me, having children is fuck yes or not at all. The default will be to remain childfree. Having children should be an opt-in decision, not an opt-out one. Until/unless I develop really strong feelings about wanting to have children, I won’t have them, even if that means I never end up having them at all.

[yadivagirl]

As a mother, I really wish more people gave having children this kind of clear contemplation and thought. It’s an irreversible decision. Too many people don’t understand that.

[bigbigbigtruck]

this this this this this.

[whoopty3-deactivated20231204]

tell me 5 things you'd put in a pentagram to summon me and I'll tell you if it would work or not

[hulu]

OG Squad Goals.

Art by Tumblr Creatr @alexfineillos

[adventures-in-dispatch]

The mansplaining is real

This person works for a FEDERAL AGENCY and he thought it would be a good idea to refuse to do his job, then explain why he refused with a sentence beginning with the words "listen sweetheart..." No, YOU listen. We are on the same side here, you have a LEGALLY MANDATED job to do, fucking do it!

[adventures-in-dispatch]

Conversations that happen 10 minutes before the end of a 14 hour shift...

Me: “This suspect looks like Ben Affleck on meth.”

Coworker: “I can see it a little…”

Me: “No wait! He looks like if Ben Affleck and Adam Sandler had a baby and that baby grew up and did meth. That’s my final answer.”

EDIT: I realized I forgot to tag this with drug mention. Please accept my sincerest apologies for any potential distress this may have caused.

[watering76]

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[micdotcom]

After Darsh’s photo was used in an Islamophobic “joke,” the internet rallied around him in love and respect. His response on MSNBC is the definition of poise and rising above the hate.