Adventures with Destiny

Destiny😄- recent college grad -DCP Spring '15 alumni- Hufflepuff - traveler in the making

[healingsuggestions]

you are growing from this you are growing from this you are growing from this

[blackwomenconfessions]

C: Knowing Tumblr, some people are going to disagree with me when I say this, but I feel like not enough people talk about the negative/damaging attachments to this “pro-hoe ” movement that is being promoted by all these social media feminists. Let me first say that a grown ADULT woman’s sexual life and decisions is totally up to her and she has every right to express her sexuality however she wishes, but I feel like there’s a fine line between an adult woman exploring her sexual freedom and a minor/child. 

I just heard about a story where a 14 year girl had sex with 25 different boys in a high school restroom and that honestly doesn’t sit well with me. I know people will say “teenagers have sex so what”, but when you think about it, a 14 year old is fresh out of middle school and me being 20 now, I see that as a child and it’s honestly really disturbing to me. I feel like young girls especially, more than half the time are not emotionally strong enough when they go through these “hoe phases”. A lot of girls catch feelings, a lot of them want attention from these fuck ass little boys that don’t really care about them, and a lot of them seek validation. 

From my own experience and seeing some of my friends go through the same thing, I know how damaging it can be to one’s self esteem to just be tossed around like a toy by ignorant little boys. I know how damaging it can be to hear what people say about you when word gets around. So it bothers me when I see the topic of sexual freedom and promiscuity being addressed so lightly. People are trying to spread this idea of sex being JUST sex, but I honestly can’t roll with that. 

At the end of the day, for most people and especially girls, sex does come with a lot of emotional attachment and some people aren’t good at handling those emotions as well as others. I really feel for that little girl because I know that despite the fact there were 25 other boys involved in this incident, she will be the only one to be demonized. I feel for her because her reputation will probably be ruined to the point she is forced to move schools. The point I’m trying to make is that I really feel like when we talk about sexual liberation, young girls need to be informed on EVERYTHING, the emotions, repercussions; all of it. 

Obviously teens are still going to have sex, but if I had to give any advice to any of them, I’d strongly suggest waiting until they are at an age where they can better handle themselves emotionally to explore their sexual freedom. I mean I didn’t become sexually active until I got to college and while I still got hurt, I feel like I was able to handle myself more efficiently and I honestly can’t imagine how I would have handled any of that had I been in my younger teen years.

[workoutinpink]

[sonoanthony]

#CLOCKED

[blackhipsteraesthetic]

Rosemarie wasn’t ready

[onlyblackgirl]

Rosemarie got dragged by Target.

[xevvie-blog]

What They Don't Tell You When You Have Your First Apartment: An Informative Blog Post.

As some of you know, I recently moved into an apartment with my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago, and I am still excited to this day. However, there are some things I had absolutely no idea on until very recently, and I would love to share that information with you.

I will update as the living goes on, and I apologize for my writing style: if I majored in English, I would have never passed.

1. Get Ready for Your Bills.

First of all, you should never lease a place you may think you can afford. If an apartment costs 800 bucks, that’s only 400 for you and a roommate, right?

Wrong. What’s not included? 

Electricity for me. However think of cable, internet, land-line, heat, gas, water, garbage disposal, laundromat, parking, and the list goes on.

Ok, so 400, plus electricity is on average 25 bucks. That ain’t so bad!

Whelp, think of this: electric bills fluctuate due to season, emergencies, and other things. I still don’t know if hot water is gas or electricity, so I’ll find that out by the end of the month. Think of what could be electric in the house and do the math there.

Also: getting your own internet and cable is completely on your own. Do Not Call A Company and Find “Bundle” Prices. These guys devour  "baby owners" with overpriced packages. There is an easier way!

2. Get Your Shit Started.

So, now you have leased a place. What do? 

Well, to turn anything on, contact your electric company. If your landowner does not provide you one, s/he is either A. forgetful or B. a dick. If they don’t let you know right away, call them and find out. They should have an account number for you to call and use.

DO NOT BE INTIMIDATED BY THE ROBOT VOICE. I have phone anxiety, thought I experienced the worst, but everything is A-Ok. Make sure you call in a private place–you could be asked for your SSN, cell number, a password, a security code–all of which are inappropriate on a train ride. Do it in your new apartment!

You may be asked information you don’t know, for instance, a land-line phone number. Do not panic–they will sincerely help you in any way. You are a customer after all.

If your credit score is rainbow-farting-unicorns awesome, your electric company can approve you for discounted internet, phone, and cable packages. They will transfer you to a sister company and bundle random companies together for a low-ass price. It seems that the more friendlier you are on the phone, the harder they’ll look for a deal. Therefore, you do not have to call random companies to get the best deal, they do it for you.

For me, they bundled internet and cable for the Jersey-low price of $90 and change. I didn’t want a land-line, and they worked with me.

3. Shit May Not Start For Some Time.

For instance, companies take a few days to verify and install, and they will let you know immediately. Pretty sure it’s the law.

Don’t get emotional if something can’t work. For me, I cannot get DISH as my cable because of the fuckton of trees that surround the apartment. The installer inferred that he did not want to sell me 12% of service, and recommended another service off the books. These guys are not here to screw you over–they’ve been in the same boat as you!

If it is something technical, most companies have a 24-hour customer service. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!

4. Hidden Fees Exist, Dammit.

So the ninety dollars they said they would charge ended up imploding due to DISH not cooperating with local flora. This will probably not happen to you, but you should know just in case.

My Internet was installed, and I received the bill today: what was supposed to be 40ish dollars ended up being 70ish dollars.

Why? Because of SURPRISE FEES! (which is unfortunately legal in my wee area).

Called “Other Charges” for my Internet company, these include state taxes (if applicable), 

“Total Optional Features/Services” that was supposed to be free

“Router Equip Fee” which was not mentioned, but recurring?

“Shipping of Router”, not mentioned when ordered, and 

“Installment 1 of 3 HSI Activation Fee”, which is ridiculous in my humblest opinion, since we self-installed it.

I plan to fight these, and I will update you on this.

5. You Need More Shit than Previously Comprehended.

It helps if you lived in a dormitory before, but there's STILL. MORE. SHIT.

So much shit you need.

There are three things that I suggest:

Make a list, per room, of everything that you can purchase, borrow, or steal.

You will forget stuff, which is completely OK. Just keep the list going.

You have support groups called friends, family, and coworkers. They will have “extra” stuff they are more than willing to let go. for free.

That is all I can think of now. Stay tuned, and good luck!

[adventureswithdestiny]

Americorps application update

Finally heard back from a few programs. For Americorps NCCC-I'll hear if I got accepted or wait listed in a few weeks. I did an interview for a VISTA program this week and applied to City Year. I hope I get good news soon!

[afrorevolution]

[nevaehtyler]

22-Year-Old Black Woman Dies in Custody

Symone Nicole Marshall, a 22-year-old mother of a 3-year-old girl, died in custody on Tuesday, May 10.

According to Marshall’s family she was in a serious car accident on April, where her car rolled over multiple times.

However, she wasn’t taken to the hospital. Instead the police took her to the Walker County Jail in Huntsville, Texas.

Symone’s sister, Honey, said:

“When I talked to her from jail, she complained that her head was hurting and she kept blacking out. I called the jail several times and requested for them to take her to a real hospital and they wouldn’t do so. If they would have this, her death could have been prevented and my sister would still be here. My heart hurts so bad. She was my best friend. I am so angry that they did this to her. She moved to Texas for a fresh start in life a few months ago. She was doing good down there, had a job and was about to buy a house. She’s a beautiful person, never been in trouble before and didn’t deserve this.”

Texas police and Walker County jail officials refused to comment or release information about the accident.

Marshall’s family hasn’t been able to get details from officials either.

Natasha McKenna, Sandra Bland, Gynnya McMillen and now Symone Marshall. We can’t take this anymore…We want justice!

#JusticeForSymoneMarshall   #SayHerName

#BlackLivesMatter   #StopPoliceBrutality

[the-punk-innovator]

Here’s some snap chats of my tux dress 😀 I designed it myself! 😛 as a genderfluid I was really worried about wearing a dress but wanting to be in a tux yet nothing about the tux excited me. It’s a button up with ruffles on the front bro?? And this was for Prom bro. So I combined the two! If anyone else wants to make a tux dress, I recommend getting a skirt that best compliments your body type (for me, that was a skirt that hit me at my tiny waist and a high low skirt is just really fun!) and getting a tux shirt with a cummerbund,then putting the cummerbund over where the skirt meets the tux shirt. For the jacket I used a small blazer instead of a suit jacket because I didn’t fit into any of the guy’s jackets at the men’s warehouse department 😢 but it looked better with something that fit me anyway. then for the look overall I went with a white black red color palette since that’s a common color palette for tuxes. Accessorize as you please! The outfit pieces: Jacket- forever 21 Tux shirt, cummerbund, bow tie, button covers- the men’s warehouse department Skirt-http://tinyurl.com/z727vjf Ameynra Fashion High Low Skirt, White Chiffon, with ruffle and underskirt (I got the medium and requested the front to be 14 inches and the back is 37 inches) Thigh highs- hot topic Shoes- Mina’s shoes (some cheapy shoe store I found next to DD’s discounts)

[blackmenconfessions]

I'm still waiting for Disney’s first Black Prince.

[blackwomenconfessions]

Confession: T/W: Rape

I feel like shit, i dont know what to do. I was drinking at my friends house this past weekend, and I think…he raped me. We were flirting with each other all night, and eventually fell asleep on the couch together. I already felt deceitful/shitty as he has a gf and was sleeping upstairs.

We were cuddling and sleeping, and then all of a sudden i wake up when I feel his hand down my pants. My heart started beating fast and loud, and when he realized that I was up,he just sort of pulled my pants down and just did it.

I didnt say anything though, I wanted to but I was frozen. I wasnt scared of him, just shocked. I guess I enjoyed it, sex is fun right? I never tried to stop it. He is attractive and what not but I definitely did not want to get with him while he was in a long term relationship. I couldnt wait for it to be over. Im still not sure if its even rape, i just wish I wouldve said something….

A day later he texted me that he was sorry and to not blame myself or feel bad and other things. I believe that he was genuine when he said this, I dont think he wants me to feel responsible if his relationship falls apart, i dont know if thats good or not. I mean I have to see this guy once a week, for reasons i wont disclose. I don’t know if ill be able to hide this from his gf or anybody for long

Shitty thing is, if his life falls apart, so does mine, we both kind of need things to stay the same right now, but I shouldnt have to keep these secrets to do that.

I don’t want to lose him as a friend either. I just dont know what to do. I had to tell somebody, thanks for posting, if you do post this. I love this page, its a safe space, and I feel better already.

I hope I stay better

[adventureswithdestiny]

I agree with what others said, what he did was rape. He is not a true friend. He knew what he did was wrong. Please talk to someone about it (a trusted family member, friend, counselor, etc.) Everything you're feeling is normal. Take as much time as you need to take care of yourself.

[adventureswithdestiny]

I applied to Americorps

This week I applied for some Americorps programs and I've already heard from 2! I hope I get accepted to a program. I've thought about doing Americorps for a while, but didn't apply. But I took the plunge this time and I'm excited to see how this turns out😄

[worshipgifs]

[blackwomenconfessions]

Confession

RIP to the corny insecure misogynistic nigga that thought I wasn’t strong enough to let him go. 
RIP to colorism, it’s ok to praise dark skin women. A candle doesn’t loses its light by lighting another. 
RIP to the thought of my body not looking good enough if I’m not shaped like Blac Chyna
RIP to being afraid to stand up for myself 
RIP to listening to ankhs & hoteps for making me believe that our only great leaders were men. 
RIP to thinking I’m not good enough. I’m here & I’m important. 
RIP to holding the black community down for the sake of black men. 
RIP to pleasing black men that disrespect me. 
RIP to slut shaming other women to make myself look better. 
RIP to any negativity, lies & self harm. 
Making room for growth now

[juulbird]

Made by Juulbird

[blackwomenconfessions]

Confession

My non-black best friend has been trying to get me to date for a while now. Yesterday she decided to tell me all the reasons why people don’t date black girls. She said it’s because we’re loud, rude, obnoxious, etc. When I told her there are girls like that of every race, she cut me off and said they aren’t black. I was so mad at that point. She even got her boyfriend to answer “Why don’t people date black girls?” and he said the same things as her. I never realized how anti-black she was until that day. I’ve never been confident and she pointed out the only reason why people talk to me is because i’m not ‘ghetto’ anymore. I don’t know what to do because she is so ignorant and anti-black. She made me feel as if I’ll never find a man who will love me for the way I am.

[adventureswithdestiny]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Your friend has showed her true colors, so it's time to figure out what to do. You can talk to her about it, take a step back from the friendship or drop her and her boyfriend.

[thehappyrealityproject]

[deeplifequotes]

if only you could wear what you’ve survived on your skin. if only they could see how many times you’ve had to turn their vandalism into graffiti. if only they knew how much work that is. to reclaim your body. to become, again, a stable home. we, like the earth, stay busy in the art of resurrection. we, like the earth, make new and make new again despite unruly hands

Donte Collins (via deeplifequotes)