hi, this blog was from koi but i’m going to be transferring over to isola soon so please unfollow if you’d like!
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@aegismoralta
hi, this blog was from koi but i’m going to be transferring over to isola soon so please unfollow if you’d like!
lindecg:
⚔ How could you believe his words after all that you lived through? All that you had sacrificed? He claimed he was no longer that monster that you knew him to be, the monster you knew he became. If the two of you were different, what would that make you? Were you alone in this regard? Lost to the carnage you committed for the Empire?
Yet, you couldn’t detect deceit in his tone. You watched him, carefully, and saw no signs of the boar you once knew. If anything, you are reminded of a Dimitri from long ago- one you shadowed after and clung to.
Confusion seeped in your veins and you wanted proof that he was still the same beast you betrayed. Maybe you did want to cut him down. Maybe you wanted to let this sleeping dog lie.
“Ha…! You…you expect me to believe that? After all I had gone through to make my own path, you think I can just go along with what you’re saying?!” You bite back, fists clenched as you felt yourself ready to boil over. You feel heat rising in your chest, steeling your gaze to keep the other at a distance. You can’t risk him stepping forward- you can’t guarantee his safety, even if he were to overpower you.
“If you’re really no threat, then stay far away from me. I want nothing to do with you. The next time we meet, I will be sure you stay in your grave.”
He wished desperately to step forward, to close the space–he had no idea what this Felix had seen but he was still Felix all the same. And yet he wished him to stay away, as he did all those years before. But he saw something in his eyes, a torment that he never saw before. Something too much like himself.
Dimitri couldn’t let it go. Couldn’t let anyone else suffer the way he did, even if it was his own doing.
But…even if he wanted to close the space, he couldn’t just disrespect Felix’s space like that.
“If…if that’s what you want,” Dimitri sighed, nodded. “Then so be it. I’ll go. But…could you just answer me this? I don’t understand what’s going on. Why do you look like I did when Byleth found me in the monastery? Why do I haunt you so?”
He had a feeling he knew the answer.
He had a feeling, but he needed to know for sure.
You were exhausted, this interaction taking more out of you than any physical fight you’ve been in. The boar manages to hold true to his word, keeping his distance and giving you the space you asked of him. You can’t remember the last time anyone remotely cared about what you wanted, no matter how minuscule it was.
He returns, however, with a question and there’s no longer a reactive irritation that follows Dimitri’s insistence, but uncertainty. You had a feeling that something was different here, something was strange and unspoken. You lower your gaze, the tightness in your chest left you with a dull ache.
“How should I know? I don’t control the forces that brought me here...” Your voice trails and suddenly you’re taking a step back from Dimitri, the frustration within you telling you to leave this be. You didn’t need to explain yourself to him. You didn’t need to explain yourself to anyone. Yet...you couldn’t stop it from spilling over. Latching onto this guilt and burden, you couldn’t hold back now that he was in front of you again.
Peer into my muse's memories
❤️- A happy memory that makes them smile
💙- A sad memory that makes them cry
💛- A memory that makes them feel angry
💚- A memory that makes them feel guilty
💜- A memory about one of their loved ones, happy or sad
💔- A memory that leaves them feeling lonely
❣- A memory that leaves them laughing
💕- A memory about their significant other
💞- A memory about their children
💓- A memory about their friends
💗- A memory about a good deed they did
💖- A memory that made them feel special
💝- A memory that made them feel loved
💘- A memory that gets their heart pounding
💟- Wildcard!!!
BOLD ANY FEARS THAT APPLY TO YOUR MUSE!!! ITALICIZE WHAT MAKES THEM UNCOMFORTABLE!!! (and add your own if they aren’t listed)
the dark | fire | open water (sea/ocean) | (any) deep water | being alone | crowded spaces/enclosed spaces (agoraphobia) | confined spaces (claustrophobia) | change | failure | war | being controlled/lack of free will | prison | blood | being a burden | drowning | suffocation | public speaking | supernatural monsters/animals (any kind) | heights | death/dying | intimacy | rejection | abandonment | the unknown | the future | not being good enough | scary stories | talking to new people | defeat | poverty | loud noises | being touched | powerlessness | bugs | ghosts | growing old | rain | lightning | natural disasters ( any kind ) | poison | school | hospitals | pain | mirrors | god / religion | buried alive | betrayal | people | social class | freedom | frogs | dogs | challenges | making friends | injury | powerlessness to prevent loved ones from being hurt | marriage | child-rearing | adulthood | the cold | humiliation / disgrace | violence / aggression | memories of your past | not doing enough | losing someone else after already losing someone | not knowing your place | being the reason someone is dead | being too late to save someone | fairies | yourself | aliens
tagged by: *stolen*! tagging: *points at you*
lindecg:
⚔ The time you had between wandering from park to park, to exploring the rest of this modern place was short of uneventful. You gave yourself every reason to be alert, to always suspect there was an enemy presence lurking, but nothing ever came to pass. You refused to step foot in your new lodging, rationalizing that, while you might’ve preferred a more comfortable place to rest, your stubbornness and pride held you back. So, instead, you kept at it, for a couple of days, until your path crossed Sylvain’s once more.
You didn’t mean for it to intentionally. You were resting underneath a tree’s cooling shade, after all. He just so happened to approach you while you were ready to close your eyes, not having had a stable night of rest in a while. You greet him by acknowledging him and then slowly closing your eyes, arms crossed.
“…what do you want?”
@lustreless ⚔
Truth be told, there was a part of you that didn’t want to let Felix out of your sight. There was only so much you could do, though, without feeling as though you were forcing it. And forcing things with Felix was never something that went well, you knew that much from experience. So there’s another part of you that isn’t surprised in the least that when you happen upon him again, not that you were looking for him- strangely enough - it’s somewhere more secluded.
Not entirely so, considering a park isn’t exactly private, but it’s more calm in comparison to the bustling streets and shops. You do note that it looks like he’s basically trying to take a nap - and that it looks like it’s been at least a handful of days since he got a remotely adequate amount of sleep. Probably longer, but you weren’t going to point fingers. … Yet.
“Who said I wanted anything?” Your hands find your hips to perch there, head tilting off to the side as you give him a brief once-over before sparing an equally quick glance around, “Are you really about to take a nap here? Seems very unlike you.” What, with it being basically in the open.. “You have an actual bed here, you know?”
⚔ You gave a disgruntled huff at his initial question, ready to rebuff him at a moment’s notice. Well, you would were it not the fact you were tired as all hell. You click your tongue and reopen your eyes to shoot him a glare.
“It just so happens I keep running into you then? Somehow, I doubt that the case.” You try to argue, clearly not in any sort of mood to deal with... whatever this was. “I don’t want to go there. I don’t know who my supposed roommates are and I have no intention to find out. It’s easier to move around out in the open.” And with that admission, you cross your arms and close your eyes again, hoping that was enough to have Sylvain leave.
(You knew that wouldn’t be the case, now that he was here, but you wanted to at least try.)
“...I’ll just rest my eyes for a few moments and then find something to eat. The bakery looked like it had loaves for sale.”
lindecg:
⚔ Resting beneath a shaded tree, you slowly opened your eyes to a melody you had long forgotten. It was a beautiful voice, one that used to comfort you in your times of unease. Upon realizing it was no mere dream however, your eyes snap open and you rise to your feet, immediately in search of the source. You circle around the base of the tree and before you, she sits, singing as she had.
Your gaze softens, a twinge of guilt crossing your chest. You relaxed yourself as she continued to sing, unaware of your presence before you decided to call out to her, hoping she wouldn’t run away.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve heard that song.”
@sorcelleried ⚔
It was a beautiful day, Annette thought, as she plopped herself down next to the mangled roots of an old, old tree. While it was no Fodlan, it was.. very pretty. Still, she can’t help but miss her old home, and the friends she had back there. Oh, Mercie.. If only she could write her a letter.
But instead, she sings a song. A song of the library back in the monastery. The tempo’s not as upbeat as her past songs, but it still brought her some sort of comfort until…
❝ Felix? ❞
She’s rather startled, eyes wide and doe-like.
❝ When did you get here? … Did you hear me sing? ❞
⚔ You don’t seem to care that you were caught. In fact, you’d argue you wanted to be. Given how little you were willing to fight you being here, along with how others from your same initial class treated you, you couldn’t find it in yourself to bring up confusing matters. You let those bygones be bygones, for now.
You turn your gaze to the side, refusing to look in her direction.
“I’ve only been here a short time now. Not long enough to warrant any sort of attention but nevertheless...” and at her second question you nod, returning your gaze back to her.
“Yes. I was sleeping on the other side of this tree when I heard you sing. I thought I was dreaming but it seems I was proven wrong.”
// sorry for being MIA! i will be working on replies + slowly liking rp ads >:) //
⚔ The time you had between wandering from park to park, to exploring the rest of this modern place was short of uneventful. You gave yourself every reason to be alert, to always suspect there was an enemy presence lurking, but nothing ever came to pass. You refused to step foot in your new lodging, rationalizing that, while you might’ve preferred a more comfortable place to rest, your stubbornness and pride held you back. So, instead, you kept at it, for a couple of days, until your path crossed Sylvain’s once more.
You didn’t mean for it to intentionally. You were resting underneath a tree’s cooling shade, after all. He just so happened to approach you while you were ready to close your eyes, not having had a stable night of rest in a while. You greet him by acknowledging him and then slowly closing your eyes, arms crossed.
“...what do you want?”
@lustreless ⚔
lindecg:
⚔ Despite your pleas, the phantom doesn’t disappear like it always did. Stubbornly, he remains and surprises you with a hug– a real, physical, tangible feeling as his larger self brings you close to him. You don’t remember the last time anyone has held you or comforted you like this. Your back straightens out, tenses as you find yourself awkward and unprepared for this.
Even so, you don’t push him away. The fact that he’s real, not some illusion made up by your mind, sends you trembling. All the guilt and rage that consumed you mere moments ago seems to disappear as your body slowly eases into his embrace. What had you been missing this whole time? When did your pride become your one end goal? Questions that fill your mind remain unanswered as you tilt you head slowly, resting your cheek ever so lightly on his shoulder.
You don’t notice the small trembles of your body, refusing to acknowledge such a gentle act could reduce you to this. You had fell enemies and comrades alike–but this was your undoing? If the Goddess had humor, this was but a pitiful joke.
After what felt like a brutally long moment, your voice manages to come through. “…idiot.” You raise your hand, ready to pound on his chest with your fist– but the point of impact never comes. Instead, with careful hesitancy, you place your hand over his chest, proving with the beat of his heart that Sylvain was real and alive in front of you.
You are fortunate he can’t see you, how you struggle with knitted brows as your hand curls back into a fist. “…aren’t you embarrassed? What if we’re seen?” You ask, still uncertain how to approach him with…friendliness. Not since your school days together were you on amicable terms.
You can feel him go rigid in your arms, though it doesn’t particularly surprise you. He’s never been someone entirely.. well, fond of affection. Physical especially - you’d lost count of the times you’d slung your arm around his shoulders to walk and talk with him, just to have it shrugged or shoved off.
What does surprise you is that you aren’t being shoved away. He’s not pushing you or trying to escape and it makes something in your chest hurt a little more, but that’s easily and pointedly ignored in favor of catching the way he eases against you. It shouldn’t feel so sad, you think, to give your best friend a hug. There’s a part of you that’s relieved that he can’t see your face, either.
Your arms tighten when you realize he’s shaking, even if it’s only a little, and part of you is worried he’s actually crying. That’s something you haven’t seen in years, and, well.. while you figure it’d be good for him, you don’t figure he’d want to do it outside - especially in an unfamiliar place. “Always,” the response to the insult is easy and you shift a hand to rub soothing little circles right between his shoulder blades.
You don’t mention the way you rest your cheek against his head, either, because some things are better left unacknowledged.
“Me, embarrassed? Do you have any idea who you’re talking to? Really,” there’s a snort somewhere in there, and you give Felix another good little squeeze - just to be sure. “I can let go, though, if you want. Just seemed like you needed one. I’ve always liked giving you hugs, even if you can’t make heads or tails of how to return them,” it’s teasing, just a little - something a little closer to their old kind of normal.
⚔ In this one space and time, you allow yourself some refuge, knowing it’s but a fleeting moment. It comforts you, it does, but you would never allow yourself to admit it. Whatever is going on here, whatever sort of illusion this place offers, you know it will only be a matter of time before the dream ends. For now though, you take what small comfort you can get.
He teases you, of course he does, and if you had your sword, you surely would’ve raised it in retaliation. Instead, you stay quiet, not necessarily embarrassed by him calling out your frigid behavior, but acknowledging you’re not an approachable type. “Careful, lest a potential suitor appears and thinks you’re a philanderer.” You accuse, the words harboring a little more bite as you recall his old habits. For a few moments more, you stay into the hug until you nod a bit. “Yes, unhand me, I think I’m fine now.” Again, still a bit brash but not as difficult as earlier.
When he does release you, you shift, looking around for any potential witnesses or threats--a habit you haven’t thought of kicking. When the coast is clear, you look up at him and give him a curt nod.
“...thank you Sylvain. If I am here for a while, then perhaps later we... I can tell you what I last recall, since it seems we have different viewpoints on the matter.”
13. on a falling tear
⚔ TOUCH PROMPTS ⚔
He reached out with a hand, rubbing the tear dry with his thumb. His touch is firm yet gentle and as much as you hate to show weakness, as much as you told yourself you would never cry again, it is somewhat soothing to be comforted this way. You knit your eyebrows, signaling to him that his attention was unwarranted, but the Riegan duke didn’t seem fazed by it. He smiles a small smile at you and, taken aback, you lower your gaze. It doesn’t take much for you to eventually lean into his touch and close your eyes, thankful for the closeness.
touch prompts
with love
with relief
with happiness
with a promise
with an apology
to say goodnight
to say good morning
to protect
for comfort
for luck
for encouragement
on a scar
on a falling tear
on a bruise
after a tough day
after a nightmare
after an argument
because you are dying
because i am dying
in a moment of worry
in a moment of anger
in a moment of annoyance
in a moment of sadness
to say hello
to say goodbye
lindecg:
⚔ The weight of it all is starting to catch up to you, along with questions you had been fending off since the war ended. What were you fighting for? No, not for the Empire. You didn’t give a single shit about such grandiose ambitions. Yourself? Because of some selfish reason to set yourself apart from the rest? To refuse to hear out that boar and follow him blindly to the grave? Like your brother did? Like your father? Your friends? Yes, that seemed more like it. In the end, you grew selfish, tied up by chains of your own making. That’s why you couldn’t accept the Sylvain in front of you, refusing to believe he’d still care after what you’d done to him.
You wanted him to be just as angry as you were–you wanted someone to channel that anger towards you because that’s how you felt about yourself. Every time you wandered across the lands and slayed foes left and right, you did so because there was naught else you could calm yourself anymore. There were no songs to calm you, no laughter and camaraderie among friends to ground you.
You were a monster, that much was certain. You became the very thing you hated–and fitting, really. It was as tragedy followed in your wake.
When the other begins to talk again, you don’t take your eyes of him for a second. He dares to come closer, but you don’t bother tensing up. You wished he’d be quicker, if anything. Maybe his words held some credence. After all, you were the one who provoked him, wasn’t it? You stormed your way on the battlefield, certain to get to them before the Empress could. You felt a stab of remorse, one you don’t think you’ve ever felt so vividly, as your eyebrows knit in frustration.
“It doesn’t change what I’ve seen…what happened when we fought. I broke our promise. I let you die first,” you admitted despite yourself, your gaze breaking as you looked anywhere else except for him. Your nails dug deep into your palm, still some bit of fight left in you, refusing to give in. “I made sure…no one would get in the way when I struck that boar down too.”
And when he reminded you of your youth? How you clung like a helpless brat, crying whenever you were in the slightest bit of danger or uncomfortable situation? How pitiful you were then, relying on others, knowing they couldn’t save you in the end. Sylvain is closer now but you haven’t got an escape route, nor did you want to really. He still considered you a friend– his best friend. How foolish.
“I don’t know what to make of this- of any of this, but I’m…” Another thick swallow, feeling some semblance of anguish rise in your chest, “I’m so tired. If I am the only one to remember, fine. So be it. Just please–” Your voice trembles despite yourself, your gaze still lowered in fear of tears threatening to spill. Even if you hadn’t cried in years, this encounter alone was enough to make it possible.
“Leave me be. I refuse to go back to how things were. I’m far beyond redemption to make amends.”
The words sting in a way you’ve never felt before - you pride yourself on having thick skin, on having so many walls and barriers that no one would be able to find their way through them. That no one would be able to break them, that you wouldn’t have to worry about feeling vulnerable in front of anyone. Each mask you had was constructed carefully, perfectly, each in different ways that would suit every situation you could possibly think of.
This, though? This wasn’t something you could’ve ever prepared for. You never took Felix for a liar, you never thought there would ever come a day where you’d hear him say that he broke the promise the two of you had made all those years ago. It still doesn’t make sense, parts of it, because back home– you’re sure, positive, that things weren’t like this.
Why were his memories different?
He asks you to leave in so many words, and there’s a part of you that almost wants to listen. He sounds so broken, so much weaker than you’ve ever seen from him, and it makes you want to do anything he asks of you. Just to ease some of that suffering, any of it, to lessen any of those things you could see plaguing him.
You don’t move from your spot, though, and you can feel pieces of those masks chipping away - little by little. You don’t want him to see that you’re hurting, because you can tell he’s hurting so much more. He doesn’t deserve to feel guilty– to feel worse for effecting you like this, in ways you can’t even truly understand yourself.
“I’m not going anywhere,” your answer is steadier than you expect it to be and it almost surprises you, but you let it roll off of your shoulders quickly in exchange for taking the last few steps forward - if you’d been intending to attack him to begin with, you still have a fire spell to bend at your will to make up for your lack of a lance, but the thought doesn’t even cross your mind. It never would.
You’re much less hesitant in wrapping your arms around him than you thought you would be, too. It’s not often you burst his personal space bubble like this, it’s not often that you think he’ll let you just give him a hug. Even less often that you think he’ll let you escape uninjured.
Not that you’re expecting that, but you want to make your words more pointed, “I’m not gonna ’leave you be’. I’m not gonna leave you alone, Felix. It’s not gonna happen.”
⚔ Despite your pleas, the phantom doesn’t disappear like it always did. Stubbornly, he remains and surprises you with a hug-- a real, physical, tangible feeling as his larger self brings you close to him. You don’t remember the last time anyone has held you or comforted you like this. Your back straightens out, tenses as you find yourself awkward and unprepared for this.
Even so, you don’t push him away. The fact that he’s real, not some illusion made up by your mind, sends you trembling. All the guilt and rage that consumed you mere moments ago seems to disappear as your body slowly eases into his embrace. What had you been missing this whole time? When did your pride become your one end goal? Questions that fill your mind remain unanswered as you tilt you head slowly, resting your cheek ever so lightly on his shoulder.
You don’t notice the small trembles of your body, refusing to acknowledge such a gentle act could reduce you to this. You had fell enemies and comrades alike--but this was your undoing? If the Goddess had humor, this was but a pitiful joke.
After what felt like a brutally long moment, your voice manages to come through. “...idiot.” You raise your hand, ready to pound on his chest with your fist-- but the point of impact never comes. Instead, with careful hesitancy, you place your hand over his chest, proving with the beat of his heart that Sylvain was real and alive in front of you.
You are fortunate he can’t see you, how you struggle with knitted brows as your hand curls back into a fist. “...aren’t you embarrassed? What if we’re seen?” You ask, still uncertain how to approach him with...friendliness. Not since your school days together were you on amicable terms.
lindecg:
⚔ He took a step closer, one you’re less than comfortable with, reducing the gap between you. You were always so careful to keep the memories of them– of him at bay, forcing yourself to wander through Fodlan in search of a distraction. Anything to quell the ache that ate at you. Seemingly paralyzed, you weren’t able to take another step back even if every cell in your body screamed at you to move. Sylvain always had a knack of making things difficult, didn’t he?
He claims he’s harmless, that he’s simply trying to obtain answers. You can’t help but laugh dryly and with that, you’re able to take a small, shaky step back. You feel a wall behind you and realize you have nowhere left to run. Nowhere left to deny the misery that afflicts you.
“DON’T MOCK ME!” you slam your fist back into the wall, fist trembling as you narrowed your gaze further, anger laced into every word. “I…I left you on that battlefield to die. I struck you down so I could get to that hellish boar…so don’t pretend that you care! If you’re anything like the Sylvain I knew, you’d jab that lance of yours through me to protect that demonic king!”
Your words echo between you, your conviction cemented on the belief that you no longer had a friend in this person. No, you knew you weren’t a friend in his eyes, not after what you’ve done. Not after what you’ve said.
You lower your fist and your gaze, exhausted from having said your piece. You wanted this phantom to leave you be, to let you forget about your betrayal.
“…I suppose it’s only fair you’d pester me. There no rest for the weary..” Your gaze has lost its steel, a sudden emptiness as you look up to gaze at the face of your former friend. “Terrible, isn’t it? Even after all that I’ve done, I still can’t help but cling onto you. Ha…what’s happened to me? Why was I brought here and then forced to deal with you?”
You don’t realize that you basically have him cornered until he takes another step back from you and meets a solid wall behind him. It has you stopping entirely, and you’re caught off guard enough by the way his voice raises that you actually flinch back - just barely, and you try to hide the wince with the way you square your shoulders and let them sag gradually.
This doesn’t make sense. You don’t understand.
But you can’t just leave him. Not like this. Not ever, but especially not like this. But anything you can say dies on your tongue for the moment as he continues - it’s really beyond you to even fathom the fact that Felix could ever kill you. Sure, he threatens you and occasionally resorts to violence when you step on his toes more than enough times, but you–
You made a promise. Both of you. You wouldn’t break it, and he wouldn’t– he couldn’t have, right? You’re standing right here, alive and breathing, and that has to be proof of something, doesn’t it? There’s too many things that aren’t turning the cogs in your head like they usually would, and you have to lift a hand to pinch at the bridge of your nose to get something moving in your brain again.
At least you know that you’d been basically on point. He’s been through something far beyond what you can comprehend, at the moment.
“Felix,” you start again, another step forward, but you stop there - you’re just a handful of feet away from him, now, “I don’t think you believe that for a second.” In no world would you ever want to– to really, genuinely hurt him, “I’d never want to attack you.”
It’d kill you sooner than Felix himself would. You’re never this genuine with anyone, even Felix very rarely gets to see this from you.
There’s hesitance lodged in your chest when he looks up at you, and actually meets your eyes for the first time - it’s something he does so rarely that it surprises you in the act itself, but the look in his eyes is something you just can’t stand. “I can’t answer that for you,” your response is quiet, more muted than you really intend it to be, but with another step you’re close enough that you don’t necessarily need to talk much louder than that, “Besides, I don’t think it’s wrong to cling onto your best friend. You used to do that a lot when you were little, you know?”
⚔ The weight of it all is starting to catch up to you, along with questions you had been fending off since the war ended. What were you fighting for? No, not for the Empire. You didn’t give a single shit about such grandiose ambitions. Yourself? Because of some selfish reason to set yourself apart from the rest? To refuse to hear out that boar and follow him blindly to the grave? Like your brother did? Like your father? Your friends? Yes, that seemed more like it. In the end, you grew selfish, tied up by chains of your own making. That’s why you couldn’t accept the Sylvain in front of you, refusing to believe he’d still care after what you’d done to him.
You wanted him to be just as angry as you were--you wanted someone to channel that anger towards you because that’s how you felt about yourself. Every time you wandered across the lands and slayed foes left and right, you did so because there was naught else you could calm yourself anymore. There were no songs to calm you, no laughter and camaraderie among friends to ground you.
You were a monster, that much was certain. You became the very thing you hated--and fitting, really. It was as tragedy followed in your wake.
When the other begins to talk again, you don’t take your eyes of him for a second. He dares to come closer, but you don’t bother tensing up. You wished he’d be quicker, if anything. Maybe his words held some credence. After all, you were the one who provoked him, wasn’t it? You stormed your way on the battlefield, certain to get to them before the Empress could. You felt a stab of remorse, one you don’t think you’ve ever felt so vividly, as your eyebrows knit in frustration.
“It doesn’t change what I’ve seen...what happened when we fought. I broke our promise. I let you die first,” you admitted despite yourself, your gaze breaking as you looked anywhere else except for him. Your nails dug deep into your palm, still some bit of fight left in you, refusing to give in. “I made sure...no one would get in the way when I struck that boar down too.”
And when he reminded you of your youth? How you clung like a helpless brat, crying whenever you were in the slightest bit of danger or uncomfortable situation? How pitiful you were then, relying on others, knowing they couldn’t save you in the end. Sylvain is closer now but you haven’t got an escape route, nor did you want to really. He still considered you a friend-- his best friend. How foolish.
“I don’t know what to make of this- of any of this, but I’m...” Another thick swallow, feeling some semblance of anguish rise in your chest, “I’m so tired. If I am the only one to remember, fine. So be it. Just please--” Your voice trembles despite yourself, your gaze still lowered in fear of tears threatening to spill. Even if you hadn’t cried in years, this encounter alone was enough to make it possible.
“Leave me be. I refuse to go back to how things were. I’m far beyond redemption to make amends.”
felix reminds me a bit of a cat tbh
⚔ Resting beneath a shaded tree, you slowly opened your eyes to a melody you had long forgotten. It was a beautiful voice, one that used to comfort you in your times of unease. Upon realizing it was no mere dream however, your eyes snap open and you rise to your feet, immediately in search of the source. You circle around the base of the tree and before you, she sits, singing as she had.
Your gaze softens, a twinge of guilt crossing your chest. You relaxed yourself as she continued to sing, unaware of your presence before you decided to call out to her, hoping she wouldn’t run away.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve heard that song.”
@sorcelleried ⚔
lindecg:
⚔ You felt like a caged animal, unable to find your bearings and eyes staring upon the sins you’ve committed. Now that you found your freedom, why did the past insist on tormenting you so? You knew not why you were terrified or why such a feeling possessed you at all. After all, you cast away your sanity long ago. There wasn’t a person alive who knew you as you once were. You made sure of it.
You turn as Sylvain’s voice rings in your ears but the words don’t match what’s coming out of his mouth. It overlaps with words from your recent past, of a fight you just can’t put to rest.
“Hey, Felix? Remember when we were kids and we made a promise about dying together?..Well, it seems we’re about to kill each other.”
You shake your head as though a terrible headache overcomes you. You look up at him, at the man you considered your best friend, in disgust and panic.
“…e-enough,” You grit through your teeth, wishing your memories would stop messing with you. “Don’t talk to me as if…” As if you didn’t betray him? As if you didn’t abandon your country and your friends for the Empire? As if you didn’t kill him? You can barely get the words out through a thick swallow, taking a cautionary step back.
“I don’t know what’s going on- but if this is some merciless way to torture me, you’ve got to try harder than that.”
It’s more than solidified that something is very wrong here when Felix turns towards you, your head tilting when he shakes his head and what little color is actually there takes it’s quick exit from his face. You have no idea, still, but you can feel the worry and the panic stir in the very pit of your stomach. It’s just as quick to work it’s way up, too, and the heaviness settles in your chest like lead.
You’re quiet and patient when he speaks, when he struggles, and it’s obvious that he’s gone through something far beyond your comprehension. You don’t understand that. Back home, things were fine. It’s only been a few months, hasn’t it? Time passes and it passes and you lose track of it consistently in this place, but your memory serves you well and you know that.
“Torture you?” The tone sounds disbelieving, and you can’t help the way your eyebrows furrow. “Felix, what in Goddess’ name are you even talking about?” You take a bigger, tentative step closer to combat the one he’s taken back - but no further than that, not yet. You don’t want to.. to scare him off? Goddess, that’s not something you’d have ever thought about Felix, before.
This is sort of scary. You king of really hate not knowing what’s going on.
Especially with Felix. He was always your top priority, his safety and his happiness - even if you could rarely even manage the latter, it was always on the list. And him looking horrified at even just the sight of you? You hate it.
“I’m not trying to do anything – except figure out why you look terrified at the fact that I’m standing right in front of you,“ it’s honest in a way that you’re unused to, because you dislike being open and being vulnerable, but you hate not understanding this even more than that.
⚔ He took a step closer, one you’re less than comfortable with, reducing the gap between you. You were always so careful to keep the memories of them-- of him at bay, forcing yourself to wander through Fodlan in search of a distraction. Anything to quell the ache that ate at you. Seemingly paralyzed, you weren’t able to take another step back even if every cell in your body screamed at you to move. Sylvain always had a knack of making things difficult, didn’t he?
He claims he’s harmless, that he’s simply trying to obtain answers. You can’t help but laugh dryly and with that, you’re able to take a small, shaky step back. You feel a wall behind you and realize you have nowhere left to run. Nowhere left to deny the misery that afflicts you.
“DON’T MOCK ME!” you slam your fist back into the wall, fist trembling as you narrowed your gaze further, anger laced into every word. “I...I left you on that battlefield to die. I struck you down so I could get to that hellish boar...so don’t pretend that you care! If you’re anything like the Sylvain I knew, you’d jab that lance of yours through me to protect that demonic king!”
Your words echo between you, your conviction cemented on the belief that you no longer had a friend in this person. No, you knew you weren’t a friend in his eyes, not after what you’ve done. Not after what you’ve said.
You lower your fist and your gaze, exhausted from having said your piece. You wanted this phantom to leave you be, to let you forget about your betrayal.
“...I suppose it’s only fair you’d pester me. There no rest for the weary..” Your gaze has lost its steel, a sudden emptiness as you look up to gaze at the face of your former friend. “Terrible, isn’t it? Even after all that I’ve done, I still can’t help but cling onto you. Ha...what’s happened to me? Why was I brought here and then forced to deal with you?”