when snoop dogg said bikinis zucchinis martinis no weenies
noise dept.
$LAYYYTER

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Xuebing Du

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@aeolist-meg
when snoop dogg said bikinis zucchinis martinis no weenies
I hate that thing some people do where it's like. "I left my wallet on the table to see if you'd say anything" or "I wanted to see if you'd wash the car if I stopped doing it"
Cause like
I dont know about anyone else
But I am perpetually hovering three inches above the strong subconscious belief that everyone knows what they're doing at all times except me, so if you change your normal patterns and I notice, then I will assume it is an intentional choice with a thought-out plan behind it and I will avoid interfering
And if I don't notice, because I won't, because why would I, because not much bothers me and if you don't say anything to indicate you are bothered then how would I KNOW
Alternatives to experimenting on me like a lab rat when you suspect me of being inconsiderate:
"I feel like I'm the only one who does this chore. Can we start taking turns?"
"I'd like you to ask me how I'm doing more often."
"It bothers me when this area stays messy so long. Can you do X when Y happens?"
"I feel like the onus is on me to initiate X, and it's wearing me down. Could you try making the first move more? Like 3-4 times a week?"
"I'm feeling upset right now and I'd like to spend some time with you."
"When X happens, I feel like you're taking my work for granted."
"I'm feeling neglected. Could you do X?"
"I'm burnt out and need help."
"I feel like I'm the only one putting effort into X."
"Do you notice this?"
"Are you bothered by this?"
"I am bothered when this happens."
"X habit of yours bothers me."
"When X is like this, I feel bad. Can you [action] when you notice X?"
Baldur's Gate, but they're all ensigns on a Galaxy-class starship - #2
Part 1
“VIOLENCE FOR VIOLENCE IS THE RULE OF BEASTS” SAYS THE MAN WHO SPENT THEIR DAYS INFLICTING VIOLENCE UPON THE INNOCENT AND NOW FEARS THEIR RIGHTFUL RETRIBUTION
“AN EYE FOR AN EYE LEAVES THE WHOLE WORLD BLIND” SAYS THE MAN WITH BOTH EYES INTACT
HOW QUICKLY THE HAWK BECOMES A DOVE WHEN FACED WITH THE BARREL OF A GUN
If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading
I wish it was easier to talk about mobile phone addiction without sounding like a boomer
Phone addiction (specifically social media addiction) is real and it's not a joke and it is everywhere. Phone addiction literally reduces the grey matter of your brain. It's no secret young adults are more anxious and depressed than ever; more lonely than ever; more aimless than ever. Do you remember being a hugely creative kid, and feel like that spark is gone now? Can't sleep at night? Yeah, your GABA receptors are probably fucked from getting hits every 60 seconds from checking your phone. What's your daily screen time like? 6 hours? 12? These are common numbers. It's insane! It's insane and it's deliberate. Companies make more money from you when you're brain is fried from scrolling 10 hours a day through meaningless content.
But it can be reversed. Start small. If you hit this post then take 5 minutes to put your phone down in another room and do something. Do a crossword. Go for a walk. Be present! CBT is a hugely successful therapy for phone addiction and can even reverse the damage done to your brain.
I get it. I have dozens of beloved friends online, and I'm more informed now than I would ever have been without access to the Internet, but wouldn't it be nice to wonder sometimes? Wouldn't it be nice to be able to go outside and not itch for your phone screen? To have that creativity and confidence back? Start small. Start now.
I'm starting a collection
So I failed the "paint me a clearer picture" roll outside the Mausoleum for the first time and Raphael was a huge bitch about it.
"Hey just so you know, death incarnate is in there." "Can you elaborate?" "What am I, your mom?" "Didn't you come specifically to warn me--" "Fuck you."
Understandable sir, have a good day.
Larian???
WIP Whenever
Tagged most recently by @honeybee-bard. Thanks friend!
I've switched gears and have started working more earnestly on the Modify Memory fic I've talked about a bit before. General concept: Ascended Astarion x Vampire Bride power couple, except, the consort is attacked with a Modify Memory spell, resetting her memories to pre-tadpole. Astarion has to re-romance his spouse, restore their strained bride/sire bond along with her memories, and get to the bottom of who was behind the attack in the first place.
For the first dawn since his ascension, Lord Astarion Ancunin wakes alone. His trance was an ephemeral kindness. In it, Naomi was beneath him. In their bed, with her hands clawed in their sheets, ripping another set into ruin. Her lithe body arched from the mattress, melting bare into his chest. Astarion ground down against her, pinning her in place. Her place. His beautiful bride, his dark consort, his sweet siren, surrendered entirely to his touch, with his name in her mouth and his cock slotted inside her cunt. “Fuck,” he growls, teeth bared to his pillow as his eyes flutter open. For the first dawn since his descent from the nautiloid, Astarion hates the sunlight dappling his pale skin with every fiber of his being. He rips the sweat-streaked sheets from a bed intended for guests, swearing violence against that vile, searing star. He might’ve loved the light for as long as he could stand in it, far before he fell for Naomi. But he’d see it snuffed to cinders for stealing her away from him. Even if it only was a memory that was taken. After all, the past three days have taught him memories are such fragile, breakable things. Such precious, irreplaceable treasures. Astarion’s glare snags on the array of glassworks collected on the mantle. Little sculptures and trinkets meant to catch the rays streaming in from the vast east-facing window. Abruptly, he shoves from the bed, closing the short distance in quick strides. He seizes a small prism in his fist, reels it back, and sends it soaring through that pretty, perfect pane of glass. His darling sounds so much prettier when she shatters for him. He huffs a tight, unsated sigh, eyeing the shards in disdain.
Tagging @meeshrox, @bellasmumblingsandmusings, @vixstarria, @wilteddreamsofbaldursgate, and @ladymdc if you have anything you're working on that you'd want to share. No worries if you'd rather not! 💜
Oooh, something delicious is coming our way ✨
A rainbow compilation of my bg3 tattoo designs! Happy pride!
Meet Rekha's new character - the oldest bookkeeper alive
Tribbles have picked the wrong man to mess with
[[*TNG theme song plays* *Patrick Stewart runs outside and shouts* YOU MOTHERFCKERS ARE GONNA KILL ALL MY LILIES *shoots guns twice* PEST CONTROL! *TNG theme song*]]
Best. Thing. Ever.
I can’t express how to ecstatic I am to find this video again in the depths of tumblr. It might be one of my favourite posts
Reblog every time
Hey guys, my opponent just fused their entire side of the board into a gestalt entity, which is currently dissecting and calcifying my pieces such that they fit into its twisted vision of an eternal, perfect state of the universe. What's the best counter in this situation?
try the Sicilian Defense
Won't someone think of the poor companions who have to put up with Astarion after Cazador is dead. Astarion who is excited to have sex with Tav.
Astarion who is so confident in being loved that he says whatever out of pocket, unhinged shit comes to mind. And Tav just giggles. Astarion with no sense of shame and makes his relationship everyone else's problem.