[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

there’s a post going around about mixing nyquil with 5 hour energy and I’m thinking about the time my parents were both out of town and my brother was in charge of dropping me off at school and I must’ve been 15 or 16 and I was really miserably sick so he gave me nyquil and but the time we were pulling up to the school I was crashing so his friend who was driving said ‘I have a redbull in the glove compartment” and they said “drink it and it’ll like even it out” so I did and I walked into school at 7:30 AM

and then immediately the last bell rang and school was over.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

potion seller, I’m going into school and I need your STRONGEST dissociation

[nuovefoglie]

Francisco de Zurbarán. Saint Lucy (Detail, ca. 1625-1630).

[dannydino11]

Okay maybe mama did raise a fool

[tsarnicholasii]

[wordpainting-deactivated2023071]

“Clocks slay time… time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life.”

— William Faulkner, The Sound and the Fury

[theglowpt2-deactivated20200101]

if you brought shakespeare back to life and showed him the lion king i bet he’d be like “this shit fucks why didn’t anyone tell me i could use lions” 

[if-only-angels-could-prevail]

okay i’ll bite. what are movies?

[zagreus]

if you c*nsor anything in a post you are l*gally required to put all of the omitted v*wels at the end as a footn*te

*eeoo

[doctress]

Okay th*n. *f you’r* sure about th*s. 

Old Macd*nald had a farm.  

*eieio

[zagreus]

i’m going to shatter you like glass

[biasinboy-deactivated20220427]

How to tell who wrote the musical you’re listening to

*moody guitar riff*: Jonathan Larson

colloquial angst: Joe Iconis

the most vulgar baroque opera you’ve ever heard: William Finn

unhummable: Sondheim

hella hummable: Rodgers and Hammerstein

*soaring melody* *same soaring melody repeated 100 times but you cry anyway*: Alain Boublil and Claude-Michel Schönberg

where have I heard this before?: Andrew Lloyd Webber

everyone is singing their own thing and you can’t possibly sing along anymore: Lin-Manuel Miranda

*key change*: Pasek and Paul

what the actual fuck: Robert Lopez

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[mens-rights-activia]

[bicth-and-in-that-order]

The aliens a thousand years from now brushing up on their 2010’s slang in order to comprehend what this is saying

[ibthereforeicry]

Someone actually do this please. I’m dying to see if your IB world school is anything like mine.

[tescosfinest-deactivated2013111]

i’m using Internet Explorer, i hope this posts quickly. happy new year 2011

[gravysaur-deactivated20141004]

The longer this goes on for the funnier it gets

[gnusnoteunuchs]

Like zoinks Scoob! You tampered in God’s domain!

[ratguzzler-deactivated20181213]

*from computer speakers* vsauce, *from suddenly behind you* michael here

[deathwarlock]

*from inside your head* what if you were defenseless

[racisrn-deactivated20130915]

“you’re all posers” i say to the models. they are very good at their job

[cheaphalloweencostume]

2018 has been going on for like 20 months but october lasted like a week… what’s the deal