wannabe my parame @affection-starved-starfish - Tumblr Blog

TW : Numbers and ed mention on this blog, I’m not pro and I just need this space to vent about how I self sabotage

I am currently in my worst relapse yet so please do not follow if ed content might trigger you

🖤 Active Sept 2021

🖤 21 years old

🖤 French

🖤 1m57 (5’2)

🌗 LW : 46.6 kg (102.7 lbs)

🌗 CW : 47.4 —> BMI : 19

🌕 SW/HW : 57 kg (125 lbs)

🌖 GW1 : 52,5 kg (115 lbs) 🔓

🌖 GW2 : 50 kg (110 lbs)🔓

🌗 GW3 : 47,5 kg (104 lbs) 🔓

🌘 GW4 : 45 kg (99 lbs)🔒

🌑 UGW : 42 kg (92.5 lbs) 🔒

Days binge free : 9 (since 22nd of June 2021)

tiny-rainy-deactivated20220606

i want the romanticized version of an ed not whatever the fuck this shit is

brightwanderer

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

cumagloia

stim toys and keeping my nails trimmed is not enough i need one of those cones they put on dogs after the vet

elationhigh

did it hurt? when you realized that your childhood trauma was going to affect you for the rest of your life and truly changed you as a person and didn’t just give you a good sense of humor?