I want to eat the sun

think about it. it looks so chewy

[afiendmiserymade]

Passing hyperfixations down to my little siblings like generational wealth

[afiendmiserymade]

Put chocolate chips in your Pillsbury croissants I beg you

[afiendmiserymade]

Okay so who was going to tell me toilets can just... Get moldy? Left it a little longer than I would have liked between cleaning and wow! Mold.

[afiendmiserymade]

Shout out to Prodigal Son for singlehandedly getting me out of my writer's block

[homunculus-argument]

Don't ask me if your tone came off as too hostile in any conflict situation you were in because 90% of the time I'll be like "no you're fine, had it been me in your situation, I would have been meaner" and that is not because I'm rational, it's because I have a very bugs bunny approach to conflict. The only reason I've never gotten into a full-out no holds barred someone's-going-to-get-arrested spite war with anyone is because nobody else has started it.

Also because if you're my friend I'd need nothing more to bite your enemies than a 30 second window of opportunity.

[afiendmiserymade]

A 10/10 thing that happens: when you put peanut butter on a hot thing and it makes the peanut butter get really melty and smooth

[afiendmiserymade]

Stuck here rolling around like a contortionist to try and make my cramps disappear and I feel like broken wireless headphones when I'm wrapping them around the house to try and make them work.

[afiendmiserymade]

Been using the "wow, okay" trend to cure my autism. Working great. I can almost tell the difference between the takes

[afiendmiserymade]

Shit's so much funnier when you have a mouth full of food

[afiendmiserymade]

Getting a shitty haircut is so insanely violating, especially as a trans person. It feels like I got robbed of months and months of proper gender expression because the stylist refused to listen to what I wanted.

+ this is exacerbated when the haircut had been long anticipated because I finally had the time and resources to go somewhere nice. Regret.

[afiendmiserymade]

In her (Hollanov WAG gc chatfics) I see you (Peter Parker wrong number avengers chatfics & quirkless/hacker deku chatfics)

[afiendmiserymade]

You can take chatfics out of my cold dead hands

[afiendmiserymade]

Feeling like Prometheus when I give my (very straight, very Christian) friend an overly specific and complimentary compliment (I'm doomed)

[captainjonnitkessler]

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.

[afiendmiserymade]

Got more knots in my shoulders than a room full of alphas

[afiendmiserymade]

"Jessie's Girl" except Jessie is my friend's boyfriend

[afiendmiserymade]

Genuinely a good look at a sunset/sunrise or a clear night sky would heal so many people.