A Fountain of Cathexis

[deactivated-blog]

next time if you ever feel like falling back to old habits just remember this

personally, there's no better motivation than remembering that there's probably many people out there who don't want me to succeed.

[anmehe]

[thesophistiicate]

upgrade your life by taking note of the objects you use most and slowly replace them with the most beautiful and high-quality versions of those things you can find.

[ashstfu]

mundane tasks like wiping down surfaces & folding the laundry can be spiritual practices and even blessings if we allow them to be

[brutalistarchitecture2]

INTERVIEW by JORDAN KAPONO NAKAMURA

[allsadnshit]

Sometimes I think about my best friend in my 20's response to when I told her I was envious of how talented and skilled she was cause she was always the friend that was doing a million new hobbies and just really had it together in my eyes and she seemed so disappointed in me and said how she's always been perceived as "talented" for things she was not a natural at and had actually worked tirelessly hard to learn to do and how it's never a compliment to assume someone has something you don't simply because they got lucky because more often than not they were just as capable as you and just chose to take risks, dedicate time, push through discomforts or doubts that maybe you succumb to, and really earned things that are often nonchalantly disregarded by peers as having walking in with already in hand

And I feel like that conversation really changed me cause I've always been bad at school and been a slow learner so I just sort of decided I wasn't smart and it wasn't my fault I wasn't born with the same advantages of people around me and I think that's something we all do as self protection from the truth that the only thing truly keeping us from what we want is usually ourselves and our decisions about our own narratives that aren't actually in stone even if we see them that way

I realized my friend was actually just not a quitter, and that she also felt not good enough often but decided to keep going in times where I know I would have stopped in her place

And I feel like taking ownership of my life a lot in the last few years has made me understand her better, even with stuff like chronic illness that practically begs us to victimize ourselves and then that way of thinking makes us sicker and more dependent on others when we could be accepting help without considering ourselves so helpless

It's really weird interacting with anyone once I've realized so much of that because I see my old self in people when they talk to me like I have something they don't because I am finally making different choices than I used to and honestly it is very irritating regardless of intention

If you want something someone else has that doesn't give you permission to assume how they got it or what it is even like having it - and I think more and more people have decided it's not their fault how they are choosing to live and that's why they are so stuck

[primulaceas]

Ottessa Moshfegh, Eileen

[inloveforevr-deactivated2025041]

I think growing up is reconnecting w younger you and digging off the dirt from your intuition. Remember when u are a child and everything seems so clear as day. U know u like a certain teacher. U know u want to paint with a certain colour. U know u are craving sweets and u kick up a fuss to your parents. You know that you are sad and to feel better you watch your favourite tv show. It’s about reconnecting w that part..and don’t worry it hasn’t ran off. You just have to sharpen your listening. You are full of wisdom. Your body will tell you everything. Sit still and you will find your answer

[katevanbee]

[seamossdoll]

[kafk-a]

“Abundance” by Amy Schmidt, published in Rattle January 20, 2019

[citizenscreen]

Judith Anderson applying make-up in her dressing room before a performance at London's 'Old Vic' theatre. She was playing Lady Macbeth opposite Laurence Olivier in a production by Michel Saint-Denis in 1937.

[daddyfuckedme]

‘the secret’ by fabián pérez

[aridante]

the complete works: the diary, virginia woolf // erasure, zoë lianne // dandelion wine, ray bradbury // the unabridged journals of sylvia plath, sylvia plath // the women, kim addonizio // august, mary oliver // the moon and more, sarah dessen // high bridge park, carlie hoffman.

[putlestory]

[sashayed]

Emerald Spider Between Rose Thorns

Imagine, not even or really ever tasting a peach until well over 50, not once sympathizing with Blake naked in his garden insisting on angels until getting off the table and coming home with my new heart. How absurd to still have a body in this rainbow-gored, crickety world and how ridiculous to be given one in the first place, to be an object like an orchid is an object, or a stone, so bruisable and plummeting, arms waving from the evening-ignited lake, heading singing in the furnace feral and sweet, tears that make the face grotesque, tears that make it pure. How easy it is now to get drunk on a single whiff like a hummingbird or ant, on the laughter of one woman and who knew how much I’d miss that inner light of snow now that I’m in Texas.

Dean Young In Poetry, April 2013

[eatpussypraylove]

Huge fan of human connection, and love, and loss, and laying in the dark at night with the fan on thinking about things other people taught me and crying grateful happy tears